I hate this diet!!...... yes this is a HUGE RANT!!!!

[tbarrett2533]

(Warning......this is a HUGE rant and I am venting)   


IF one more person asks me "What can you eat?" I will punch them in the face!!! 

I especially hate the people who ask me over and over and over what can I eat...... did they not hear me the first 16 times that they asked me 'what can I eat.' 

I always tell people who ask, "Well there is more that I can't eat then I can."
Then I say (especially to my family) why don't you take just a few minutes to google "the renal diet" and you can learn so much just from doing that!! I mean for crying out loud sometimes if I see something I will remember it more than if I heard it...... I am TIRED of everything about kidney failure and the diet (along with being so tired all the time) is the WORST part of this crap!!

UGGGHHHH I hate it!! 
And I am so friggin thirsty I can't stand it (yes I avoid sodium and chew gum and do all the other stupid little tricks)
and god forbid if I were to drink more than 24 ozs of fluid b/c then my dialysis treatments are way friggin worst than they already are!!!!!!

I hate the diet and everything else about this and NO I will not "stay positive" sometimes you need to vent and speak what is on your mind and well that is what this is today!!!!
 

[MooseMom]

While I recognize that this is just a rant (and a very good one it is, too!) and that you're not asking for advice, I do have a suggestion that may help.  The next time someone asks you what you can eat, you can say, "I can eat anything; I just have to be careful about portions."  That's actually the truth.  You won't die if you drink milk, but you can't drink three glasses a day, every day.  We're given lists of foods to avoid; that doesn't mean the renal diet police will come and take you away if you indulge once in a while.

No one is going to do any research on the renal diet unless they are responsible for feeding you day in and day out.  So don't bother getting all annoyed that your family won't educate themselves. 

I don't have fluid restrictions yet, but I already know that those restrictions are going to be much harder for me than food restrictions.  A great big rant about that is certainly justified.

[Cordelia]

That's okay, I understand. I still get ticked/bummed about the "renal diet" and I've been doing it for 10 months now. I still want to indulge in cheese everyday and drink milk all the time but I know, I can't.     However, I've lost a lot of weight and that makes me happy   

[boswife]

I love a good rant    Now, i just hope it helped ya out a bit .................. and if not, RANT ON!!   

[sullidog]

Yes, portions are fine, what I hate is when people say aren't you not suppose to be eating that? drives me crazy!

[jbeany]

Vent away, barret! We understand...all too well!

The best answer I ever found to intrusive questions like "What can you eat?" was something totally random and not the least bit serious.  Try "Nothing but cardboard and school paste."  That worked for me quite often.

For the "Are you supposed to eat that?"  questions, the best answer is to point at their own plate.  With luck, they are eating something salty, greasy or fattening.  Smile sweetly and say "My doc approves this just as much your doctor would that."

Of course, if you are eating with health food paragon of virtue, a flat "No." whilst shoveling in a big spoonful with a look of bliss on your face works too.

Sarcasm - just another service those of us with ESRD can offer....

[texasstyle]

As a caregiver, I understand what you're feeling. I wanted to tell you that (hugs)

[MooseMom]

As a caregiver, I understand what you're feeling. I wanted to tell you that (hugs)

Texasstyle, I'd be very interested to know how you do the whole renal diet thing in your household.  When you say you understand how barret is feeling, what do you mean?  I know I am making an assumption in thinking that you probably do the cooking at your house (or is your hubby the chef at your maison? ), so if that is the case, do you eat what he eats, or do you make a different meal for yourself comprised of food items that you enjoy but he needs to avoid?  Since I am the renal patient and I do the cooking, I am control of the meals, so I cook accordingly and my husband just eats it.  He eats just beige food, so him overloading on vegetables (potassium) isn't a problem.   He likes meat, and since I need to keep to a pre-dialysis limit on protein, he just eats most of it, so no problem there.  But I've often wondered how it works where the caregiver also makes the food.  Do you stick to a renal diet so that your husband doesn't feel bad about his restrictions, or does he not really care one way or the other?

How do you other caregivers cope with the renal diet?  Do you eat "restricted" foods in front of your renally-impaired loved one?  Is that a source of conflict in your household?  Some years ago, I got really mad at my husband when he plopped down on the couch next to me with a banana and a can of coke.  It wasn't that I craved bananas and coke, rather, it was the notion that he was being dismissive of my predicament.  I had a go at him, which wasn't my best moment, but I think it did me a lot of good because I got it out of my system, and now I don't really care.

[cattlekid]

My husband has no qualms about eating anything he wants in front of me, including pizza, Cokes, bananas etc. I usually just give him a dirty look and call him a *******, but that's just the way we roll around here.     I'm not going to begrudge him what he likes to eat just because I shouldn't partake.

[MooseMom]

My husband has no qualms about eating anything he wants in front of me, including pizza, Cokes, bananas etc. I usually just give him a dirty look and call him a *******, but that's just the way we roll around here.     I'm not going to begrudge him what he likes to eat just because I shouldn't partake.

But if he were the one with kidney problems, would you eat whatever you wanted in front of him?

[Poppylicious]

I loved this rant, Tracy!  As I'm not the one in my house with ESRD I can only imagine how horrid it must be to watch what you eat and limit your fluid intake. 

For the "Are you supposed to eat that?"  questions ...

I have to admit that I sometimes find myself saying this to Blokey ... *hangs head in shame* ...

a) How do you other caregivers cope with the renal diet?  b) Do you eat "restricted" foods in front of your renally-impaired loved one?  c) Is that a source of conflict in your household?

a) I cook; he eats.  Simples.  Blokey came home with a dialysis recipe book once but neither of us read it.  We know which foods he's supposed to avoid and we're pretty good on making sure he does avoid them.  He does eat anything he wants (a lot of things he's supposed to avoid are things he doesn't like anyway) but is careful about it (everything in moderation).  I do nag him if I see he's sneakily eaten a frozen pizza or hidden something in the back of the fridge.  I think that once I got quite tearful and demanded to know why he wanted to turn me into a young widow.  However, his levels are usually neither too high nor too low, so he must be doing something right.  As I started going to WeightWatchers at the same time his restrictions were imposed we both had to give up cheese together.  That helped!

b) Yes.  I love my broccoli, tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach and brussel sprouts and I eat them daily. 

c) Nope.  He hates broccoli, tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach and brussel sprouts.

 

[cattlekid]

Probably, within reason.  I do the cooking in the house, so I would make sure to follow the renal diet, within moderation.  But then again, if I wanted ice cream or some such, I wouldn't stop eating it just because he couldn't.  Again, that's just how we roll and YMMV.   

My husband has no qualms about eating anything he wants in front of me, including pizza, Cokes, bananas etc. I usually just give him a dirty look and call him a *******, but that's just the way we roll around here.     I'm not going to begrudge him what he likes to eat just because I shouldn't partake.

But if he were the one with kidney problems, would you eat whatever you wanted in front of him?

[boswife]

for us,,, it's pretty good because the things i LOVE he isn't that fond of  so me eating a big bowl of veggies in front of him is no matter.  I was a vegetarian for 30 years and now eating some meat.  MEAT is what he has to eat lots of so it works ok.  Now, i do miss LOTS of fruit.  He can eat some, as he gets lower potassium, but it's still controlled and i don't like that i need to control that...And water, well i need lots and he needs little so that, along with chocklet , I'm good at sneaking...

[rsudock]

My future mother in law is always making a scene and saying things like "R you should not be drinking that! Stop drinking!!"   Good grief woman I am not 5 years old...I am a 27 year old woman and I will drink whatever the heck I want!!!

AAAaaahhhh!

I know how you feel!!!

xo,
R

[tbarrett2533]

Vent away, barret! We understand...all too well!

The best answer I ever found to intrusive questions like "What can you eat?" was something totally random and not the least bit serious.  Try "Nothing but cardboard and school paste."  That worked for me quite often.

For the "Are you supposed to eat that?"  questions, the best answer is to point at their own plate.  With luck, they are eating something salty, greasy or fattening.  Smile sweetly and say "My doc approves this just as much your doctor would that."

Of course, if you are eating with health food paragon of virtue, a flat "No." whilst shoveling in a big spoonful with a look of bliss on your face works too.

Sarcasm - just another service those of us with ESRD can offer....

this was by far the BEST advice!!!! I love it!!! thank you sooooo much!!!!!

[jbeany]

A warped sense of humor is the chronically ill person's best defense against the chronically stupid.... 

[galvo]

Absolutely agree!

[tbarrett2533]

A warped sense of humor is the chronically ill person's best defense against the chronically stupid.... 

you crack me up!! thank you 

[Elly50]

Hi I understand how you feel, it is the not drinking that is driving me mad !!

[Brightsky69]

   Your still going to have to deal with it even after you get a transplant. My transplant is about 8 months old and I still get people asking me "Can you eat that?" "Are you allowed to drink??"

I was at my primary care doc yesterday and she knows I have a new transplant...she asked me "Can you pee?, Do you still pee?"  I laughed and said I better still pee with this new kidney.   

[rsudock]

A warped sense of humor is the chronically ill person's best defense against the chronically stupid.... 

LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!!

Sounds like a future facebook status update!

xo,
R

[tinastia]

My future mother in law is always making a scene and saying things like "R you should not be drinking that! Stop drinking!!"   Good grief woman I am not 5 years old...I am a 27 year old woman and I will drink whatever the heck I want!!!

AAAaaahhhh!

I know how you feel!!!

xo,
R

I lived with my Mother in law when diagnosed, she hates me, so to make my life even more aggrivating she would take the diet and only cook what I coukldn't eat.  Took about a week for us to catch on, then we stopped eating with her,  Thank God we recently moved.  Now the whole family eats my diet unless we go out to dinner.

[MooseMom]

I lived with my Mother in law when diagnosed, she hates me, so to make my life even more aggrivating she would take the diet and only cook what I coukldn't eat. 

OMG, that's just appalling!  What makes people do things like this?  Unbelievable.

[jbeany]

The first day my parents left my sister and I home alone together after I had been diagnosed as a juv. diabetic, my sister made a huge pan of brownies and sat in front of me eating them, groaning in pleasure and saying things like "Don't you wish you could still have these?"  But, umm, hello, we were kids, not grown adults!

[Brightsky69]

My step monster had my father convinced that I had somehow caused my own kidney failure.
That's why I have completely shut them out of my life.... they are dead to me.