I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Bub on February 01, 2010, 07:52:27 AM
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Seems like so many of us are on antidepressants. I know that my doctor has slowly been working through different drugs and dosages, and I am feeling much better mentally and emotionally. My real life (my life away and unrelated to ESRD) has been very chaotic lately but I feel more stable and more able to deal with all of these other things going on. I feel my depression was situational as opposed to clinical and I have always understood that antidepressants were not called for in situational depression, and in fact would not help. This is apparently not true. I waited a long, very dark time before seeking help and I wish now that I had spoke up much sooner.
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Bub, Great to hear you are doing better. I didn't really think I needed meds, but what a difference they have made in my everyday life. I can handle situations better and just feel more in control of me. I still get mad, cry, and can get upset, but everything is in perspective. Your experience will help another who may be hesitant to try medication. Thanks for sharing. :2thumbsup;
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I'm so glad antidepressants helped you, Bub. I did not have a positive experience with them, and was actually kicked out of a psychiatrist's office once for refusing to try more. I think chronic illness and depression are the norm, and those who get a boost from medications are truly fortunate.
I used to volunteer at a suicide hotline, and it was amazing the number of people who would say they would rather kill themselves than try medications. :o But.... But.... you can always change your mind about the meds and come off them....
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situational or clinical, the chemicals in ur brain do the same thing. Glad u feel better, im in the process of getting back on something.
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For any depression, take what you need to get through it. But when the chemicals work t start using the tools you learned in therapy or wherever you got them, to work through it without the meds. The tools work. Like me back when I had a job, they didn't work all the time, but most of the times they can get the job done. Be ready though, to recognize the symptoms if and when they come up again, and when you need meds, go for it.
Depression sucks. Depression makes everything else suck too.
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I've been on and off of anti-depressants for years. Now I only take them in crisis when I'm feeling really low for too long. Constant every day use is not affective for me anymore. I'm glad they helped you. I agree with cariad that chronic renal disease and depression go hand in hand. In addition to your anti-depressants, try to learn coping mechanisms too. One of my favorites is to "disappear" into a favorite place I've been -- a good relaxation technique when feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
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I've been on and off of anti-depressants for years. Now I only take them in crisis when I'm feeling really low for too long. Constant every day use is not affective for me anymore. I'm glad they helped you. I agree with cariad that chronic renal disease and depression go hand in hand. In addition to your anti-depressants, try to learn coping mechanisms too. One of my favorites is to "disappear" into a favorite place I've been -- a good relaxation technique when feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
I disappear too, Sunny. I swim with the sea turtles. In a secluded bay in Kona, swimming beside these calm huge turtles, exotic fish, coral reefs. It is one of the best relaxation techniques for me. And I always go back to Lamaze training and deep breathing. It worked for labor pains and all these years later, it still helps relax me. Anything we can find that works! :2thumbsup;
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Its good to know that others have been feeling down. I felt kinda ashamed to mention this to my doctor, like I wouldn't be appreciating the wonderful treatment and 2nd chance that i've been given with Dialysis. I think I might tell him how down I have been feeling. I suppose i am just worried that people have been thinking I am really strong and coping really well, I don't want to admit that I am not.
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Again, I post my thought processes and have not reached any conclusions as to my statements here.
I don't think dialysis or physical illness cause depression but rather that symptoms, treatments, life restriction, etc. tend to prod a little and accent the depression. Is that possible.
Also, I wonder if it is healthy to share depression issues with others "in the same boat" so to speak. I keep thinking "my dog is bigger than your dog" and "my dad can beat up your dad". Could it be that "my depression is worse than your depression."
As always, I don't really accept this as fact, but it is running through my mind at the moment.
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Dan, I think that is a good question. And I think the answer will be particular to the individual and the situation. I sometimes find that simply saying that I'm feeling the cold fingers of depression starting to strangle my heart will bring relief. Other times it is better for me to suck it up and push through it. For about 2 years of my life (many years ago) I struggled with suicidal thoughts. It was a dark, dark period.
I was listening to a report about post tragedy (like Haiti) depression. For many, focusing on the current issues only magnifies them. I have learned to over-ride my internal voice when I hear it say that I'm so unhappy. It isn't easy.
So, there are many ways of dealing. But depression is a real issue for many!
Aleta
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My wife tried to commit suicide on 13th of January because of depression / PTSD... so I feel sooooooo compelled to post on this thread. I feel like I am living in that "dark" place right now... even if it wasn't my choice. I can tell you this for a fact... and please take it as fact... depression can strike anyone at any given time! It does not discriminate!!! DEPRESSION is nothing to over look or think it will go away in time, when things get 'easier' for us. Please, don't be fooled to think depression can just go away. It follows and lerks us all, until one snaps. There is no shame in taking meds... infact, I respect the individuals who gets treatment and is honest about it. Do relaxation or whatever. Do anything to help! Because I can gaurantee.. if you don't recognize 'depression' when it hits home... the consequences are dang fatal!
The mere fact that someone was genuine enough to start this post... is admirable! Thank you for posting, and acknowledging for us. You may have saved someone's life! Ya never know.
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Again, I post my thought processes and have not reached any conclusions as to my statements here.
I don't think dialysis or physical illness cause depression but rather that symptoms, treatments, life restriction, etc. tend to prod a little and accent the depression. Is that possible.
Also, I wonder if it is healthy to share depression issues with others "in the same boat" so to speak. I keep thinking "my dog is bigger than your dog" and "my dad can beat up your dad". Could it be that "my depression is worse than your depression."
As always, I don't really accept this as fact, but it is running through my mind at the moment.
Dan, I think that is a good question. And I think the answer will be particular to the individual and the situation. I sometimes find that simply saying that I'm feeling the cold fingers of depression starting to strangle my heart will bring relief. Other times it is better for me to suck it up and push through it. For about 2 years of my life (many years ago) I struggled with suicidal thoughts. It was a dark, dark period.
I was listening to a report about post tragedy (like Haiti) depression. For many, focusing on the current issues only magnifies them. I have learned to over-ride my internal voice when I hear it say that I'm so unhappy. It isn't easy.
So, there are many ways of dealing. But depression is a real issue for many!
Aleta
I think Aleta's right. I was pretty depressed, for a time before dialysis, but I just "lived with it". Not something everyone can do. Sure it affected my outlook on life, but I was able to "function". It was like (I know this sounds rude, sorry) being a "functional illterate". You do "things" to "get by" and hide it from others. Oh, they notice some is wrong, but you "seem ok" most of the time. And, of course you don't feel you need any professional help, because "are they going to make things the way they were? Of course not, they can't bring someone back from the dead? Of course not. Are can they give the life I knew back. Don't silly. " Not a good attitude to have. So, I just "plodded along" till things changed in my life. I was lucky, someone cared enough about me to make me care and make me realise the person I was geiving would not have wanted me to be like that. And, luckily I didn't get worse.
I know, and knew then, I wasn't as depressed as some people. I could function, maybe needing to be there for someone else (my mother) who was dependent upon me did that. I have no doubt, if my wife (now) had not come back into my life, when I lost my mother things would have gotten worse. I'd lost my first wife and all my family. I was all alone. Hey, when you tell yourself, "I hate my life" you're in pretty bad shape. You need to get help, you won't get better on your own.
I look at things differently now, I no longer hate my life. I know will sound silly to some of you. But almost dying and loosing my kidneys were nothing compared to how depression can take over your life. I wish I could tell you "It'll get better, just give it time" But things don't work that way. I think it is different for everyone and you need to get help no matter how well you "function". It is foolish to Expect someone to come into your life and change it. Oh, it happens, but it highly unlikely to happen. So, if you feel depressed, you are and you need to get some help.
Like Robyn said it can hit anyone. Don't "It can't happen to me!" oh yes it can. There's no shame in it. No one is up beat all the time, not lettings things affect them. God, or the Flying spaghetti Moster, or Mother Nature or whatever you believe in didn't make help available if you weren't meant to use when you need it. my :twocents;
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And I just want to add that some people think that medicating for depression is a sign of weakness. NOT SO!
Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that often becomes a self-sustaining feedback loop. Meds can break the cycle.
It is REALLY hard on folks who are suffering from depression to hear that they could get better if they wanted to, so if anyone here on IHD feels the need to voice that opinion (again), please bugger off.
Sorry to get a bit emotional about it. But that is MY :twocents;
We need to be supporting of one another, not condemning or belittling. :flower;
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I didn't really see where anyone said not to take meds. Rather most people are adovcation take them to "break a cycle" and then easy off when you can -- if you can.
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My wife tried to commit suicide on 13th of January because of depression / PTSD... so I feel sooooooo compelled to post on this thread. I feel like I am living in that "dark" place right now... even if it wasn't my choice. I can tell you this for a fact... and please take it as fact... depression can strike anyone at any given time! It does not discriminate!!! DEPRESSION is nothing to over look or think it will go away in time, when things get 'easier' for us. Please, don't be fooled to think depression can just go away. It follows and lerks us all, until one snaps. There is no shame in taking meds... infact, I respect the individuals who gets treatment and is honest about it. Do relaxation or whatever. Do anything to help! Because I can gaurantee.. if you don't recognize 'depression' when it hits home... the consequences are dang fatal!
The mere fact that someone was genuine enough to start this post... is admirable! Thank you for posting, and acknowledging for us. You may have saved someone's life! Ya never know.
Thank you for sharing this. I am so sorry for your wife's struggle. And for what you are both going through. Your statement was very real and heartfelt. You may have touched someone today and make a difference in their life. :cuddle;
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I was once told by an IHD member that he could slap the depression out of me. He didn't.
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Perhaps he thought that slapping you would cure HIS depression! :rofl;
Couldn't resist, Dan. You set that one up! :cuddle;
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actually I think sluff cured lizard's depression
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For me, the biggest help, maybe the only help, for situational depression is to have a clear plan with very specific steps. I think that's why I am OK with my life at the moment - I am sloooowly moving through this process that has taken some 5 years to come to fruition. I am so sure this is going to work that I have to suppress my enthusiasm, because the transplant surgeon insists that I articulate my understanding that it could fail.
The depression that I hate the most is when I have no idea what would help or why I am feeling so low. If I knew what to do when that strikes, I would let all of you know. It feels like you can't breathe.
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The depression that I hate the most is when I have no idea what would help or why I am feeling so low. If I knew what to do when that strikes, I would let all of you know. It feels like you can't breathe.
OMG, Cariad, you nailed it!
Being blind-sided by depression just plain sucks! Because there is no thinking through it and working out of it by figuring it out.
I HAVE learned through the years that February is the worst month of the year. I have finally figured out that I suffer from SAD. It helps to know....but doesn't fix anything.
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Its good to know that others have been feeling down. I felt kinda ashamed to mention this to my doctor, like I wouldn't be appreciating the wonderful treatment and 2nd chance that i've been given with Dialysis. I think I might tell him how down I have been feeling. I suppose i am just worried that people have been thinking I am really strong and coping really well, I don't want to admit that I am not.
Jenny - welcome to the human race!! Guess what - you're normal! (that doesn't mean boring btw!) :)
I understand that you wouldn't want to admit to being down or stuff like that but it's VERY understandable and you don't need to be superhuman. It's GOOD that you discuss this stuff with your doctor, because your treatment isn't just about dialysis and drugs, but your attitudes and emotional well being too.
A nurse said to me around the time I started on dialysis that your ATTITUDE is as important to your treatment as your meds. Being positive and feeling OK with things (yeah, easier said than done!) really can affect ypur physical health.
That doesn't mean "smile and pretend the world is awesome!" because that's faking it and inside you still feel like crap. I get that. Some days, specially when D is going wrong or I feel like crap... I just don't want to know about it. Other days I feel upbeat(usually on non-D days when I'm working, or chasing girls, or doing other "normal" stuff - well as normal as I get anyway :rofl;).
That's what I try and do - concentrate on positives in my life. Focus on what I've got rather than what I haven't... and of course I have that goal in the back of my mind of a life with transplant hopefully much more normal to look forward to (to be totally honest if I did not have that option to look forward to as a goal I am not sure HOW I would deal).
It's totally normal and totally understandable to be upset, depressed, down, angry and all kinds of other things about the bad stuff life has thrust your way. If you didn't I think it would be a worry too because nobody's like that and going to be OK I reckon. Better to let it out and deal with it than bottle it up and pretend it isn't there.. that can only lead to bad places I reckon (like Robin's post illustrated).
When I feel like that and how sucky life is and how much I want to drink that ice cold coke.... I think of others I know who are suffering through much worse than I am....
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ive always struggled w depression, that i feel is closely related to anxiety. i have been off meds for 4 or 5 mo. Last month my pdoc suggested cymbalta that may also help w some physical symptoms. (my health and tx status have been below par for 2 mo) during a few day stint of feeling better, i tried to start the new med. It brought back my nausea w a vengeance, i only took it for 4 days. i felt good today, so i am trying to decide if i should try it agian or just talk to my docs about it. Ive tried celexa, effexor, and lexapro. I also take attavan prn. I have been nauseated for 2 to3 mo and just cant stand the thought of risking it. My depression is not as bad as it has been in the past, but i am sad most of the time lately. Im not having suicidal thoughts. Just sad and have a strong urg to isolate and then feel lonely once i do. Thats the loop i am in. feedback welcomed
girl
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It's official; I am now depressed. Kaiser sent out a flyer yesterday, and according to it I am officially depressed. My depression has nothing to do with my kidney problems (at least I don't think so). I am just so tired of being in constant pain and fatigue. My pain comes from my arthritis (knees, back, pretty much everywhere there's a joint). My fatigue could either be the kidneys or the low thyroid. So many illnesses; so little time! I think it's time to investigate that stuff they shoot directly into the knees and it allegedly lasts for 3-4 months. It's for darned sure none of the pills are working to alleviate the pain.
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That's what I try and do - concentrate on positives in my life. Focus on what I've got rather than what I haven't... and of course I have that goal in the back of my mind of a life with transplant hopefully much more normal to look forward to (to be totally honest if I did not have that option to look forward to as a goal I am not sure HOW I would deal).
I feel the same way, Richard. I have actually been told (multiple times) that I could not get the transplant I wanted, and I went in to a profound depression every time. I think if I were told there was no hope of another transplant, I would have to concentrate on investigating new technologies as much as possible and try to find a doctor willing to take a chance on me. (Which is essentially what I had to do to get the stem cell trial I am about to receive.)
I think it is really helpful to focus on the positives as much as possible, but if someone in perfect health were to tell me this, I would probably step in with :Kit n Stik; This is not something that one can admonish someone else to do. It really has to come from within. A few years ago, I was on a transplant listserv and a psychologist wrote in with her results of a study that she had done with volunteers from the list. She divided volunteers into two groups, and had them chart their moods - one group also would spend time every day listing what it is they are grateful for in life, the other group acted as a control and would just chart moods. She found (from a very small sample) that those who made the "gratitude list" reported better moods. All right, fine, I can see that. She then said that she was going to present her findings at a convention of transplant doctors, and urge "gratitude interventions" for patients. All I could think was "Oh, sweet Jesus, NO!!!!"
I heard throughout my life what a pessimist I was, and constantly had doctors and my parents tell me that my attitude was the problem. I admit, I was probably the angriest kid they'd ever seen, and anger and non-compliance have been shown to be strongly correlated in kids (duh!). (I shut the hospital down the day I climbed out onto a ledge and threatened to jump from about 7 stories up.) Not once have I ever felt that anyone has helped me by telling me to look on the bright side, but when I do it of my own volition, it works. There is the subtle (not really) difference for me. I am not a pessimist, I am a realist, and being told by any medical person that I am causing my own illness or exacerbating it through attitude would not go over well with me - never has, never will. And of course, my transplant has lasted 34 years, so today doctors love to look at me and rewrite history: "Wow, so you must have really followed that drug regimen faithfully and taken a true, active interest in your health from a young age." Yeah, sure.
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I take anti-depressants. They have helped me so much. I used to cry all the time, extremely emotional. Crying wasn't the only thing though, I would get so anxious and agitated other times. The antiD helped for years. All the while taking them I still had anxiety attacks (especially right before my cycle - sorry :)). About two weeks ago I started another med in addition to the antiD, 10mg daily of prozac. I am just starting to feel "evened out." I know this may sound like I am loading up, but I also got Ativan for rare occassions. I sometimes get so worked up I shake all over.
I can say I like myself now and feel stable. Everyone is different and sometimes it takes a while to get the right type of med and dosage. Good luck and take care.
And, as others have found, if you've been on antiD's and you're feeling so good you think you can go off, most of the time that doesn't work. You are feeling better BECAUSE of the med. Depression is real. When you can recognize that you need help, you are fortunate. Granted, there are mild depressions people can deal with by themselves, but you shouldn't be afraid to try and help yourself with meds.
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ODAT, great to hear from you :2thumbsup;
Peleroja - my sister gets the knee and back injections and soon to start infusions for RA. The injections help. I hope you can get some relief from at least one of your sources of pain!
Bottom line for me: If I take a med that helps with pain, why wouldn't I take something for depression? The meds are there to help us. Don't be afraid to talk to you Dr. if you are always sad and life is overwhelming.
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Cariad - I totally understand what you are saying. I know in other threads I've suggested to people to try and look on the positive side of things, but I certainly hope I would never say (or sound like) "look on the bright side" because that *is* lame.. and absolutely unhelpful to folks trying to deal with being depressed because of their situation. I guess I want to share something that works for me.. but I absolutely understand and agree that that kind of attitude has to come from within rather than someone telling you what you need to feel - specially someone who hasn't been in a similar situation.
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Ack, Richard, I hope you don't think I was criticizing what you wrote - I honestly did not mean to do that. Those "cheer up" types have been the bane of my existence since I had my transplant, and I guess I was reacting to what you reported the dialysis nurse said to you, not meaning to imply that you were trying to shove sunshine down anyone's throat. I think it's a wonderful suggestion to look for the positives, but one must be careful in how the suggestion is presented - not in a way that makes it seem like ill health is the patient's fault, which is how I often felt when medical pros would start up about my attitude. They probably knew that depression and anger led to lax attention to health, but the delivery left much to be desired. I think if one more or less follows what the doctors say and doesn't do anything too outrageously stupid, then one could be the biggest defeatist known to man and still luck out.
I feel that for me anyway, what's going to happen is going to happen, and I can either be miserable going through it, or find as much joy as possible. That was what I got out of what you were saying, and why I agree with you. Sorry if there was confusion! :beer1;
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I'm going to put my two cents worth in here now. Granted it may be worth only a penny, but be that as it may.
Has anyone thought that possibly you cannot tell if another person is depressed or not. Many times I've been the keeper of mirth and fun and gone home alone to the depths of depression.
Never would I suggest to take pills or not to take pills, but I will suggest the benefit of talk therapy with or without the pills. Pills? Do you take them forever? Not usually! My doctor like to have you on meds for a year and then review. If you are doing well, he believes it best to decrease the dosage and then see how things go for another six month (unless they take a downward spiral) and then if all is well, stop and see how it goes. But my doctor is an individual and his theories may vary from others. Basically, I say follow a doctors advise and work with meds and talk therapy together.
"Perk up"'s and "look on the bright side"s are a waste of time and probably detrimental. He or she can act the way you want them to, but that doesn't help the depression.
I once had an IHD lizard threaten to slap the depression out of me and talk about using pills as a crutch, etc. That wouldn't work either.
Actually, I don't guess it was worth a penny even. Take it for what it is worth or not.
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Hey Cariad all good. I had no problem with your post :) We're all happy and in agreement - no depression here! :)
Dan - you're right - sometimes it's very hard to tell if another person is depressed or just down. Some time last year at D a number of nurses came to me in a row and said stuff like "Hey what's happened? Are you OK? Something wrong?" and I asked why all the concern all of a sudden... well they said that I wasn't my usual cheery happy self so they thought I must be depressed about something and that something must have happened. Well no, nothing really.. I just pointed out that even someone like me that tries to see the positive side of things most of the time and is generally fairly happy facing to people.. well I just felt like a quiet day. I wasn't really mad or sad or unhappy.. just didn't have the energy to joke around or whatever...
Now I understand that when someone's demeanour DOES change that can be a sign that something is up - I have no problem with the concern, but I'd think it should be if it was for a few days or a week or something, rather than a one off thing.
Also sometimes people don't want to admit to others what they are really feeling - because they may feel silly, or stupid for thinking it, or that they need to be "strong" for others, or whatever (there's any number of reasons) so you wind up with this mask that isn't at all accurate.
I think to a little extent all of us do this from time to time. It's sort of like when someone asks you "How are you?" and you know they're not REALLY interested in the truth, so you just say "yep I'm OK" when you're not. I think that's kind of similar in a way.
The important thing I guess is that each person is real to *themselves* - if you feel sad, depressed, upset, angry at it all... understand that these feelings are NOT abnormal, and that many others in similar situations share them, and that it should be OK to discuss these feelings, specially if they're so strong that they're affecting every day functioning, with a professional and seek some help. There's no shame in that in my view.
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ok Kitkat, this is what I had posted and deleted. does it make things better? It certainly makes me feel worse to have it back.
Am I going to get fired? Does today, tomorrow or yesterday matter?
Last week this pushy technician from my unit changed my goal for fluid removal. I had gained weight. My nurse said it was actual weight gain and I could stand only 1.5 to 2 liters of removal so she set it for 1.8. (The dietician just tells me to EAT. Anything but eat. I try. So I did gain weight.) The tech comes by and says this is ridiculous and moved the goal up to 3. Midsession I started the cramps, etc. and as usual, at that time the techs were all gossiping or on a break or just not there. I hurt all weekend.
Then Thanh, the nurse, turns the machine the next time so that I can see what is going on. I want to learn and I want to see. This tech asked what that was about. I told her and she said I wouldn’t understand it anyway so she turned it back. Pissed me off yet I said nothing.
The nurse can’t spend a lot of time with an individual. After all, she has 11 other patients at any given time. I never see the tech except when she puts me on and four hours later when she takes me off – unless she is pissing me off.
I carry lots of junk with me (computer, etc.) so the nurse will sometimes wave me to come in once the chair is ready. On this particular day, the tech referenced above said if I kept coming in early and rushing here she’d see to it I was the last person put on the machines and taken off. Pissed me off.
Well, last Friday the nurse (who is unfortunately a friend – unfortunate in that being a NONO.) Told me to talk to the scheduling nurse and request another tech. She said this one was rude to her too and she didn’t like how she’d been talking to me. The nurse made a call to the scheduler who was supposed to come by with her boss (but never did).
My doctor comes early in my session every Monday. Somehow the tech had reported beforehand that I was unhappy with what was going on. The doctor comes by and immediately starts on possible alternative treatments for me. Have I thought about Home Hemo (yes I had but I don’t have the required support at home)? How about PD? It isn’t for me for various reasons. Did we stop pursuing the transplant option? (I haven’t filled out the papers yet and I’m too old for other than cadaver and I don’t really think I want to go through it – being alone and without family, etc.). Shouldn’t he be considering how I’d fair the best rather than what makes technicians happy? He’d already at an earlier date said either this or a transplant.
Then I told of some of my complaints. Choking and not being able to get water from my techs. Being promised button holes for ages and self training.
My thought? Is he getting ready to “fire” me because I am confrontational? Once before they’d asked me to come in the morning. I got there and was told there was no chair so I had to wait an hour. I was pissed and raised a little stink. They got me a chair. Another time I was sitting by Roy (rest his soul) and his screaming, etc. was getting to me. I asked to have another chair. I got it. I guess that is all confrontational. Maybe it is my personality. On this site even, I’m accused to starting things when I had not such intention at all. And of saying things that never came out of mouth (or off my keyboard). Is it my fault?
Thanh did tell me yesterday that I was to start Buttonholes immediately and she was going to do it. Wonderful except she is going to Tanzania next week for two weeks to meet her in-laws. I suggested we wait until she returns. Where did that edict come from anyway?
Anyone who has read anything I’ve written about Davita Med Center Houston knows how I’ve praised the unit all these months. Do I leave it? I’d have to change doctors. He is the best in the city. But it sounds like he may be getting ready to “fire” me anyway. Do I just hang in and live with it, as any other center could have those issues? Do I just give up on dialysis all the way? Does today, tomorrow or yesterday really make a difference?
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Dan,
I really understand. I think that part of why I had such a hard week this week was because I had come to this thread only half able to ward off depression. Then reading about it and thinking about it pushed me over the edge and down into the depths.
I only returned here because I saw that you had posted here.
And neither of us, nor any of the rest of the souls battling the shadows should do so alone. So I am here, my friend. Braving the darkness to reach out a hand to you. No smileys. I don't feel up to that.
Just a hug.
Aleta
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Dan,
I hope you have read other threads that read very similar to yours. There are complaints about centers everywhere. Epoman started IHD.com so these kinds of posts can be seen and answered by dialysis patients all over the world. Your thread is going to help other patients.
I have had bad experiences at centers, too. I hate it when the techs disappear never to be seen again until time to come off. I swear the last center I was at was out to kill me off.
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Thank you all for contributing and writing about things that just a few years ago were strictly private. I feel better knowing that I am not the only one, although of course I knew this already. I have shared my feelings with some of my friends in the dialysis center and got much the same feedback and alot of support.
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Good to see your post, Bub. It does help to know we aren't in this boat alone and someone else understands. We just need to keep paddling along. :cuddle;