I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: dwcrawford on December 03, 2009, 09:05:02 AM

Title: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on December 03, 2009, 09:05:02 AM
It definitely could get worse.  I am not hungry.  I am not cold.

Can It Get Any Better? Of course it could!  And now that I'm  not hungry nor cold I can use  what energies I have to concentrate on ways to make it  better and,  of course, keeping it from getting even worse.

Very, very, merry Christmas time to all.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: willowtreewren on December 03, 2009, 09:14:18 AM
We have a great book at school called... It could always be Worse.

It's about a man who goes to his Rabbi complaining about how bad things are. The Rabbi advises the man to bring his mother-in-law to live with them, then as the complaining continues, he tell the man to bring the chickens inside, then the goats and ducks and cows.

Finally the man can't take it any more and the Rabbi tell the man to put all the animals outside and send the MIL home. Then the man basks in how lovely his life is.

One of the things that being part of this IHD family has helped me realize is that it could be worse - much, much worse. Sometimes it is hard to find those things in our situations for which to be thankful. But, oh, that is so important for our own peace of mind.  :2thumbsup;

Thanks, Dan, for reminding us. Wise words.   :thx;

To all of my IHD friends who may have it worse than I do...  :grouphug; :grouphug;

For those who think that my situation is worse than yours, I'm glad that I can offer a comparison that helps you feel better.   :bow;

And a bit of whimsy from Monty Python....

Always look on the bright side of life, ta da.. ta da dee da dee da!

Aleta
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on December 03, 2009, 09:27:10 AM
And once again the lovely Aleta can say it far better than I ever could.  Thanks Aleta... I (we) needed that.  Wonder if it would be too much to ask people if, in the thread, they could tell how they have positively dealt with seemingly impossible situations. 
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: paris on December 03, 2009, 10:00:50 AM
Good thread  :2thumbsup;   I just look around and know it could be so much worse. I have always had a roof over my head, food to eat, and people who love me.   When I see children facing huge obsticles and they are so full of hope and joy, how can I complain?  And, having lost so many in my life, I understand that life goes on.  I am a small part of this whole plan called life, and realizing that makes me deal with all trials with a "I can do it" attitude.  Nothing is too much if you take it one baby step at a time.  (until I get too tired to take the next step  :rofl; ).  Attitude, maybe that is it in one word.  Don't ever tell me I can't do something; it just makes me want to do it more!  I face kidney disease with that attitude.   I am rambling----sorry, guess I feel very "wordy" today!
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: Maker on December 03, 2009, 12:07:37 PM
Whenever people starty pitying me, I always say "it could be worse!"

My aunt was just diagnosed with breast cancer.  Its not as easy as going on dialysis for her.  She will undergo chemo & radiation and that still may not work.

I volunteer at our city's homeless shelter.  Every time I go in there I am reminded how very fortunate I am!  I have a job, a home, food to eat, heat! 

When I see handicapped people I am always so thankful for my functioning body, that allows me to walk and run and do most things I want to in spite of CKD. 

I guess what really gets me through this (seemingly impossible) situation of having CKD for the rest of my life is remembering that God gave me this for a reason.  What satan means to use to destroy my life, God means for good  :)
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: thegrammalady on December 03, 2009, 12:43:20 PM
as some of you know i have a developmentally disabled child. (he is now 25) when kevin would have a seizure in public, the looks on peoples faces would be, well it's indescribable. however i knew it could be worse. as an example the woman i knew who's child's shortest seizure lasted 25 minutes. and that was because 25 minutes was how long it took to get him to the er to have it stopped medically. yes it could alway be worse.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on December 03, 2009, 01:19:34 PM
I debated myself as to whether this would be an appropriate post or not.  Already, I've been inspired by your comments.  The inspiration for the thread was a young man named Tubes who, from the beginning, posted such positive, funny and inspiring words.  And when in a "self esteem" post he stated some of his insecurities it really made me think.  Sometimes I feel like crap for feeling sorry for myself.

I do have self esteem issues so heavy that I'd never discuss them on line.  Enough people on here dislike me as it is.  Sometimes I think, just get over yourself, and sometimes I do--- for some time. 

Then there are the normal issues that many people deal with.
I don't have family to spend Christmas with so I rely on friends.  And then I think I know people with families whose tradition it is to get drunk, fight and even worse.  Friends just basically support and love each other.
I've had one tragic Christmas that resulted,  six months later, in the premature death of my favorite sister.  But then again, that makes 68 good Christmases I've had.
I have this kidney disease that requires dialysis 3 times a weeks.  But then I do like my dialysis center, doctors, nurses, etc. and my diet is restricted very little.  Plus I drive myself, walk where I want and run if I want (not usually).
Life is pretty good for such an old man.  Now if only I had a pill to turn me into a young man I'd be pretty happy.

Thank you grammalady, Paris, Maker for your comments.  They make me feel (oh, that I guess is the bad part) they me FEEL.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: paris on December 03, 2009, 01:39:29 PM
I think "feel" is a really good word.  Christmas time makes me "feel".  I feel fortunate, more loving, kinder, more appreciative.  The holidays have always been different for us and this year will be no different.  We have split families so children spend half the day with Mom then go to Dad's. We have a nurse and two who work for the airport, so they work holidays.  My husband will leave at 3 Christmas day to go to work.  I know I will spend the rest of the day. I don't want my kids to leave their familiies that day.  It will still be a wonderful day.  There are so many who won't have a warm place to be that day.   I have one son who is dealing with many issues and his solution right now is to walk away---I haven't said that outloud to anyone.  It is almost more than my heart can bear.  He lives 10 miles away and we rarely see him. His new wife refuses to ever come to our house. It has been a year since she walked into my house.  I love him and am extremely worried about him.  That's all -- I will break down if I say more. Money and lots of "stuff" doesn't fill your life.     So, "feel" is good --- and bad.  But, I think we need to feel the bad sometimes to really appreciate the good.   I don't come to tears often-----I keep big walls around my emotions, but Dan made a small dent in one wall today.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: bette1 on December 03, 2009, 02:23:10 PM
When I feel overwhelmed with my situatuation, I start to think of the things that I can be thankful for.  Sometimes I have to start with I woke up this morning.  It may sound trivial, but this has gotten me through some tough times.

Right now my hubby is out of work, my dad has stage 5 cancer, and I'm on the big D.  But I truely feel greatful for what I have.  I have a husband who loves me, I have had 42 great years with my Dad, and he isn't in any pain, and I live in a country where everyone who wants dialysis can get it.

I count my blessings every day.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: paris on December 03, 2009, 02:41:13 PM
When I feel overwhelmed with my situatuation, I start to think of the things that I can be thankful for.  Sometimes I have to start with I woke up this morning.  It may sound trivial, but this has gotten me through some tough times.

Right now my hubby is out of work, my dad has stage 5 cancer, and I'm on the big D.  But I truely feel greatful for what I have.  I have a husband who loves me, I have had 42 great years with my Dad, and he isn't in any pain, and I live in a country where everyone who wants dialysis can get it.

I count my blessings every day.
And everyone in the house says "Amen!"   Lovely post.   :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: MIbarra on December 03, 2009, 03:08:17 PM
Good thread DW! LOVE it!

When I first started dialysis I was scared and felt alone. Even though I have my husband, we were going through a rough patch and dialysis just made it worse. I don't have family here either so I felt quite isolated. No one knew what I was going through. What made me keep going was the thought that it could be worse - just like Dan, Aleta, and others have stated. It always helped to remember that there were others facing more challenges than me and that I needed to stop feeling so sorry for myself. And of course, the pets were a great reason to keep getting up in the morning and keep going to treatments, because who else would treat my babies like I do? I had to stay alive for them.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on December 03, 2009, 03:19:29 PM
Bette1, I am totally grateful for your post.  There's nothing more I can say as it speaks wonders.  I'm predicting a great holiday season.

And Manuela, I knew you'd bring those two little rodents that you call dogs into this somehow.  lol  And we both know that between the two of them they wouldn't make a decent pot of Menudo....  But then I told you I could and would say something silly if it gets too heavy.  This is great.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: Jill D. on December 03, 2009, 03:32:06 PM
Positive thinking is always best for your physical and mental health. Sure I have problems (which I call "challenges") and the truth is my blessings far exceed my challenges.  :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: Jean on December 03, 2009, 03:43:26 PM
Dan, what a beautiful and thoughtful post. Very appropriate at this time of year. I have only my daughter and husband close by, but Christmas Day is always lighted up with the rest of the step-children calling me. Yes, it could be worse. I could be alone, or with some awful man, but I have my wonderful husband, a nice home, and many friends. And many of them are on IHD. God Bless all of the members, who are so quick to come to the aid of others. This is a wonderful place, and I am grateful for it. Have a merry merry Christmas all of you, as we celebrate the real " reason for the season"
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: Mizar on December 03, 2009, 03:46:46 PM
The Day before Thanksgiving, I sat down with, My Coffee and the Newspaper. The Big Fat One, that always, comes on that Day. I Poured over, every Sale Paper and saw a Lot of things, I WANTED, but not one Thing, I NEEDED. I feel Blessed.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: YLGuy on December 03, 2009, 04:48:39 PM
My situation is easy.  I am blessed with three healthy, beautiful, smart, good children.  I am following 2 children in my town the same age as my youngest with there fight with cancer.  One of the little girls used to cheer for my son's football team.  I know that their parent's would much rather be sick then their little ones.  I am lucky it is my illness I am dealing with.  I am lucky it is my kidneys, not my liver or something worse(there are a lot of things that are worse).  I am lucky that I have such wonderful caring friends that are there for me.  I am lucky that Epoman started such a great website and I stumbled across it one evening.  I have had some VERY crappy things happen to me throughout my life but we all have a story and cannot dwell on what we don't have.  My one brother does that and has been an bitter alcoholic his whole adult life.  Yes, it could be worse but all in all...I have it pretty darn good!
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: del on December 03, 2009, 04:49:13 PM
What a thought provoking post dw!!  I was reading down through and tears came to my eyes ( my husband teases that it doesn't take much to make me bawl!!) .  I for one have many things to be thankful for.  There are many things I may want but not one thing I need!!  I have a wonderful husband, friends, a warm house, a fantastic job, and I love life.  Especially at Christmas time I think of all the people, especially children, who live in a part of the world where they do not have many of the things  they need to survive. I often say to my students how lucky they are to live in a part of the world where they have the freedom to go outside and play whenever they want to without any fears.  We sometimes feel  like things are really bad but look at the big picture and see how fortunate we are to live in a part of the world where we have access to medical treatment, freedom to do what we want, plenty to eat, a place to live and many other things that people in some parts of the world do not have.  We are truly blessed!!
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: willowtreewren on December 03, 2009, 05:48:42 PM
Quote
The Day before Thanksgiving, I sat down with, My Coffee and the Newspaper. The Big Fat One, that always, comes on that Day. I Poured over, every Sale Paper and saw a Lot of things, I WANTED, but not one Thing, I NEEDED. I feel Blessed.

Exactly!  :2thumbsup;

Dan, look at all the wonderful things you have brought to us. The things that really count. Things like self-reflection, gratitude, acceptance, and inner peace.

I am thankful every day for IHD. And it is because of all you wonderful people.

Thanks, Dan.  :flower;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: MissyKew on December 03, 2009, 07:56:41 PM
I have been sick all my life...asthma, depression, eating disorders, complete paralysis and two types of cancer all before ending up on dialysis.  How do I deal with it?  With my first cancer I went to a support group that helped a great deal.  For the last five years or so, I have been in counseling.  I finally found an antidepressant that works.  When it started to work there was this odd feeling of something was missing...yes...the sadness was missing.  It was leaving. Bless the psychiatrist that prescribed the drug for me.  For me, being sick is normal for me so I go one day at a time and I try to keep a sense of humor.  If you can't laugh, then you are lost.  I go one day at a time.  And like all of you have noted, there is always someone worse off than we are.  I have heat, warmth, food and treatment.  i am damn lucky.  And I remember the saying about how awful it was to walk in my shoes till I saw a man with no feet.  As long as I am in this world, it is a good day.
Title: Re: It COULD get worseirlf
Post by: Lillupie on December 03, 2009, 09:56:14 PM
THe one thing i can be thankful for is being able to look forward to one day reaching out to people about kidney disease though my book!
 That I have found a dialysis center that actually lets me come in a sit and talk to patients! There is one special guy there :-* that I kind of have an attraction to. I guess befcause i feel so bad for him. He is in really bad shape, one person I know of in person who has had to worse then me! He is 37 years old, been on dialysis for 11 years. Sister gave him a kidney 9 years ago, failed after 4 months, had to have it taken out, his phosphorus has been as high as 13.1 for 5-6 years. Last year at 35 he had a stroke, and now has to walk with a cane and hunched over because he is in soo much pain. he is even able to get the card for medical marijuana.
 In the begining he broke up with his girlfriend, he missed dialysis for 2 weeks, and now has an enlarged heart.

I am also thankful for the fact that being on dialysis and not being able to work I still get paid with disability. Its not much, but it is better then nothing. My daughters father takes her every other week and it gives me a break. I live wtih my mom and my grandmother so i am not having to worry too much about the bills.

thats me,
Lisa

Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: kitkatz on December 03, 2009, 10:00:40 PM
Tonight I was talking with my husband and told him: Despite everything that has happened to me in my life, abuse physically. mentally and spiritually, and the illnesses that I have dealt with....I know what I know deep inside of me. I cannot explain what I know, I just know that I know."
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: fc2821 on December 04, 2009, 08:59:27 AM
      I like this discussion, many great comments.  When I was growing up my grandmother use to always tell me not to complain "because it could always be worse, be glad what you have and do your best to get by."  Something I have always done. And these last few years it has come in handy.

     I think Missykew said it best though:  "As long as I am in this world, it is a good day."   
     
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: paris on December 04, 2009, 10:17:26 AM
It is wonderful to read how much people feel they are blessed, even with many challenges.   Life is full of blessings and I am grateful.   :grouphug;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: fc2821 on December 04, 2009, 11:56:18 AM
Tonight I was talking with my husband and told him: Despite everything that has happened to me in my life, abuse physically. mentally and spiritually, and the illnesses that I have dealt with....I know what I know deep inside of me. I cannot explain what I know, I just know that I know."
.       I understand, and I know others do too.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: glitter on December 04, 2009, 09:32:04 PM
This has been such a long sad year for me- but in spite of it all- I still have my 2 girls and my health. About three months ago- I decided I didn't want to be so sad I couldn't think of the memories with my husband without crying. I try very hard to be happy. I just wanted to be able to enjoy those memories, I mean, I still cry sure enough, but I can think of him now and I am so grateful for that. This is my first Christmas without him, and we are honoring his memory in every way we can. This past year has made me question my faith- my lack of faith- I have been an agnostic for 20 years, and this year with its lack of hope has made me question my feelings about that.....I have lost every material thing I had this year, my home and most of my 'things' and it has not really bothered me-its just stuff that means nothing. I knew that before he died, I live knowing what matters most, and I am so glad I shared that with him. Even as we prepare for this Christmas without him- there is still joy in my home.    :christmastree; :rudolph; :santahat; :wine; :christmastree;  :bandance;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: Mimi on December 05, 2009, 12:52:04 AM
We all have our troubles and problems and we all know it is not the troubles and problems that befall us, but it is the fact that we do not llie there but we get up and walk on.  D W I've got a few years on you, but you have the wisdom that God grants us oldsters.  To share with others the things that you are thankful for makes us all pause and remember that things could be worse.  Except for the grace of God, none of us would be here tonight. I have two children and as I write this they are not speaking to each other. Thanksgiving was sad without my son and Christmas will be even sadder but things could be worse.  They could be gone for good and I am thankful to God that I al least have both of them still here on earth.
I pray God will touch their hearts and bring them back together in love and
I pray that all of my IHD friends will find peace and joy this holiday season.
Let me cry today Lord
With tears you've given me
To wash away the pain
And leave sweet memories.

Mimi
   
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: Pam on December 05, 2009, 06:49:26 AM
I'm not a very religious person. although I do believe. When I go to bed at night I am thankful that I made it through another day and  all I ask for is the strength to face whatever comes tomorrow.
Pam
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: willowtreewren on December 05, 2009, 07:04:14 AM
I believe in many wonderful things - the goodness of most people, the love that we share, the beauty of nature, that life is worth living. But, I don't believe in a god that would allow people to suffer.

Even so, I live a rich and rewarding life.

 :flower;

I also believe that it is equally all right for me to share my beliefs as it is for those who to share theirs in these threads.  :)
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: fc2821 on December 05, 2009, 10:13:54 AM
I believe in many wonderful things - the goodness of most people, the love that we share, the beauty of nature, that life is worth living. But, I don't believe in a god that would allow people to suffer.

Even so, I live a rich and rewarding life.

 :flower;

I also believe that it is equally all right for me to share my beliefs as it is for those who to share theirs in these threads.  :)
  I also believe in your right to share your beliefs. Though I believe that God has helped me deal with all I have had to deal with in my life.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: looneytunes on December 05, 2009, 01:09:00 PM
DW and everyone else, thank you.  What a  great thread for me to read today.  It has been a tough week for hubby and it's been wearing on me.  So reading this and remembering all the things I have to be thankful for has been the best RX I could have been given.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: HubbysPartner on December 07, 2009, 05:54:02 AM
It's good to hear all the positive comments, and I agree that things could be much worse.  I just lost my mom last week, but she lived a good long life and I have lots of wonderful memories to comfort me.

My husband is on dialysis, but I still have him with me and he feels much better since starting.  We cherish each day we have together.

I have three wonderful children who actually don't think I was crazy to give up my life and move 7 states away to marry a man they didn't know.   :rofl;

I have a great job and the best boss EVER!   :thumbup;

Finally, I have found a great group of supportive friends on IHD.

It could be much worse.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: tyefly on December 07, 2009, 12:01:00 PM
   Yes   Life could be worst that what it is....  And when I think that it is..... someone comes along and brightens my day...     That someone is me......  beleive it or not.... but I am usually the one who gets sick and tired of thinking negative and I will find many things that bring me happiness... when I just take a break and sit back and take a  long look at life  and find out that I am not doing my part.   I am not living life... just going thru the motions....  So  its time to get living.....  There are certainly many more things I want to do in life  and if I get just some of them done .. well good for me......     

      Plus  I have good friends here on IDH  who kick me in the butt from time to time......    not to mention too many names.......   
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: del on December 07, 2009, 05:36:36 PM
I realized tonight that things could be a whole lot worse. We had a Christmas party with out weigh in group tonight and one of the leaders had breast cancer a few years ago and it has gradually spread to the rest of her body and now is in her brain.  Her face is puffed up from steroids and she is bald from treatments and most times she doesn't know what she is saying.  She is so sweet and would never say anything to offend anyone but know she does. People just go along with her because she doesn't remember 10 minutes later what she has said. She would be so offended if she realized some things she said.  She missed the Christmas party the last 3 years because she was sick but she was determined to go this year.  She enjoyed herself and most people gave her a hug and a kiss before they left. I know her and her family would be so happy if there a treatment for her like dialysis.  I think this will be the last party she will be at with us because I really don't think she will be alive much longer. There was a few tears as people left the party tonight.  So yes things can be a lot worse. 
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: jbeany on December 10, 2009, 01:01:42 PM
My own doctors didn't expect me to live through my complications from my transplant.  I'm alive, with a kidney and pancreas that are both working perfectly.  The hole in my intestines healed long before the docs figured it would.  I'm back on regular food, after two months without anything except a sip of water twice a day to swallow pills.  I'm home, and slowly regaining muscle tone, even if I keep forgetting that I can't stand up when I sit down on the floor!

At any point in the last few months, things could indeed, have gotten worse!
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on December 10, 2009, 01:17:45 PM
And for that JB, we are all thankful.  Too bad we can't have a least of sip of Stoday's precious wine...
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: galvo on December 10, 2009, 02:02:26 PM
jbeany

I can relate to your not being able to stand up when you sit down on the floor, though in my case it was back when I was guzzling the devil's mouthwash!

It's great to hear that you're on the improve.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: RightSide on December 12, 2009, 08:57:38 PM
Some doctors I've consulted, agree that things could be worse with me.

For example, I consulted a cardiologist as part of that hospital's evaluation of me for a kidney transplant.

The cardiologist said to me:

"I'm a cardiologist.  We cardiologists treat patients who are REALLY sick" 
[i.e., not like you malingering kidney patients]

and later she said to me:

"Compared to the heart transplants we do, we cardiologists consider a kidney transplant to be just a lifestyle change"
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: fc2821 on December 13, 2009, 08:41:23 AM
Some doctors I've consulted, agree that things could be worse with me.

For example, I consulted a cardiologist as part of that hospital's evaluation of me for a kidney transplant.

The cardiologist said to me:

"I'm a cardiologist.  We cardiologists treat patients who are REALLY sick" 
[i.e., not like you malingering kidney patients]

and later she said to me:

"Compared to the heart transplants we do, we cardiologists consider a kidney transplant to be just a lifestyle change"


That was just plain rude   :thumbdown;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on December 13, 2009, 09:45:13 AM
Somewhere there is a thread "stupid things ignorant people have said"
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: willowtreewren on December 13, 2009, 10:23:46 AM
Today I was listening to Diana Krall sing some lovely holiday melodies while wrapping gifts for my staff and family. My husband is sitting nearby getting life sustaining dialysis. I will later go to an invigorating book club discussion followed by dinner with intellectual peers who are important to me. I live a rich and fulfilling life.

I am in a warm house, with plenty of food, I have a job that is meaningful to me, so a few hours of dialysis each day is a minor bump in the road.

It really could be worse. Much, much worse.

It really helps to remember all the good things in life.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: del on December 13, 2009, 11:08:47 AM
I feel the same way aleta!
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: jbeany on December 13, 2009, 01:38:33 PM
I love Diana Krall, too!


I get a bit polllyanna-ish sometimes.  The glad game works if you can make yourself laugh (preferably at yourself while you are at it.) 

My hair fell out and I had to cut what was left short.  At least it doesn't take me half an hour to blow dry it anymore.

I couldn't eat for 2 months.  At least I skipped out on the insatiable appetite and subsequent weight gain that comes with the first few months of steroids.

A warped sense of humor is always a good survival tactic.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: petey on December 13, 2009, 04:39:53 PM
Good idea for a thread, DW.  As always, you showed your wise and sensitive side by starting such thought-provoking discussion.

My husband has been through so much over all these years.  None of it has been easy, but through it all, his mantra has been, "I'm lucky.  There are many others in far worse shape than I."  Not only does Marvin say this, but he lives it, too.

As his wife and his caregiver, I've been through a lot, too.   My road has been bumpy, scary, and sometimes seemingly impossible.  Somehow, I've managed to make it through, too, and -- with him -- live a full, busy, productive, happy life.    Even though I have been known to teasingly tell Marvin that he's "high maintenance" and sometimes have -- again teasingly -- threatened to trade him for a goat and then kill the damned thing, I am lucky that Marvin is still alive and that our marriage has survived trials and tribulations that many other marriages could not have endured.  It could be worse -- I could be a widow or I could be living a life without the man I love, adore, and am so totally devoted to.

Aside from the obvious blessings of being warm, not hungry, having friends and family who love me despite my faults and weaknesses, and living in a free country, I am also full on the inside -- in my soul and in my heart.  Truly, my cup runneth over.  There are many others in the world who cannot say that, and that, to me, would be so much worse than what I have.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: willowtreewren on December 14, 2009, 07:57:32 PM
Had a hard night tonight with Dialysis. More alarms and problems than we had ever had before. Plus a huge leak from a loose cap that probably ruined the carpet. So I came here to remember....

It could be worse!

Carl was never in any danger. We didn't have any blood-letting. Tomorrow will be another day and the clean-up process can wait until we have had some sleep.

Yep. Things could be worse. Thanks so much, Dan, for this place to come when things aren't feeling so good.

 :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: tyefly on December 15, 2009, 09:07:35 AM
     Sounds like a bad night last night.... but today  Aleta will be much better.....   I am sure of it......

        For me   I had a great night last night ON    D   and  no cramps  and they only had to take off 1.6 k  as I have been watching how much I am drinking and eating.....    life is good...... with no cramps.....

   I think about the lost mountain climbers here on Mt. Hood in ORegon...    I hate to here about lost climbers.....  esp this time of year.....  we lost three    climbers  just a few years ago.....  I am sorry for the families...   But I do realize that people need to do what they love and sometimes their are risk....  I need to remember to continue to be passionate about the things that I love... and do all I can and enjoy life even if they are risk.... 
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: greco02 on December 15, 2009, 10:13:40 AM
This poem says a lot.....if you could just get through today....AND I stopped saying 'how much worse can it get' years ago because I found out the hard way, it can ALWAYS get worse. 


http://www.nhal-anon.org/Just4Today.html

czg
 :boxing;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on December 15, 2009, 10:23:20 AM
Oh yea, it COULD get worse.  And when it does, just remember that it COULD get EVEN WORSE than this.  More than likely there are people who have already found out how.  Like your Poem.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: fc2821 on December 15, 2009, 04:05:56 PM
Oh yea, it COULD get worse.  And when it does, just remember that it COULD get EVEN WORSE than this.  More than likely there are people who have already found out how.  Like your Poem.

Dito! 
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: willowtreewren on December 15, 2009, 05:21:39 PM
You know, if we never had any bad days, the good days would not mean as much to us!

 :flower;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on January 16, 2010, 08:26:38 AM
Trying to take my own advice here... often my own advice is even hard to take.

I have been in a nearly total depression for the past several days .. not feeling well, dialysis not going well, sick friend, and don't really know what it is above but I just sit, get on this silly  forum site and argue about god even though none of it is rational, cry at the TV even commercials...but

The images of Haiti after the quake (well even before) make me realize it really could be worse.  Hell, I could have all this depression and be in Haiti under a collapsed building or something, or roaming the streets looking for food, water or family.  Now I simply cannot stop crying as I watch the images.  I've done what I can by contributing to the Red Cross (cash seemed most logical to me) so for at least a day or so, I need to stop watching.  If you can't disconnect you can't help (I believe) and you just get in the way (your thoughts at least).  If you can't disconnect just a bit, you can see the hope and beauty on the other side.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: fc2821 on January 16, 2010, 10:27:30 AM
   Somewhere in Haiti, there is someone thinking "Well, it could be worse" and the sad thing is they are right.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on January 16, 2010, 10:32:53 AM
Well Rob, that I just can't imagine.... and I even saw Mel Gibson's movie.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: fc2821 on January 16, 2010, 10:41:53 AM
   Dan, no mater how bad you things are, they can always be worse.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: fc2821 on January 16, 2010, 10:43:27 AM
Well Rob, that I just can't imagine.... and I even saw Mel Gibson's movie.

   Which Mel Gibson movie?
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on January 16, 2010, 10:46:30 AM
The Gospel according to Mel Gibson... subtitled the Passion of Christ.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: paris on January 16, 2010, 12:12:43 PM
 :'(   I'll sit beside you, Dan.  We will get through this day, then the next - but not alone - we have IHD.   :cuddle;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: willowtreewren on January 16, 2010, 12:15:08 PM
Dan, I'm home all day today. Give me a call if you need to.

Yes, it really, really could get worse.

(And I bought some cool stuff to make you a card today!)  :2thumbsup;

So you can be looking forward to that.

But I agree with your advice to yourself. Turn off the TV so you aren't seeing all those images of Haiti. The heart can only take so much.

 :cuddle;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: fc2821 on January 16, 2010, 12:32:44 PM
The Gospel according to Mel Gibson... subtitled the Passion of Christ.

  Want to know how it can get worse? Well here goes. Never saw it, don't want to see it. I am not into human (that ought to cause some trouble, sorry all) sacrafice.

    Besides, who made his view "the" view.

     Romans, killing everyone they could get their hands on since 300 B C.  Fun people.

    Like willowtreewren said think about something else, watch an old movies or turn the TV off. When I get down, I think sure it could be worse but I'll (censored) if I'm going to let. There be a :boxing;. I may noot win, but they'll know they were in a fight. Ignor the idoits.
        :bestwishes; Dan. 
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: petey on January 16, 2010, 01:49:23 PM
Dan,
I could be worse...you could have never met ME !!!  Wouldn't that be worse than what you have now?  :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;

Hang in there, buddy!  Love you!
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: petey on January 16, 2010, 01:52:27 PM
...P.S., love the new avatar and sayings, Dan!  It's so "YOU."
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on January 16, 2010, 02:13:44 PM
Yes Petey.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: del on January 16, 2010, 06:23:40 PM
Turn off the tv for a while Dan and think good thoughts.  Take some deep breathes.  Maybe we need to have a party to try to cheer a few of us up.  I'm feeling pretty down too lately!!  I need some good thoughts in my head.  I am staying away from the God and evolution threads. They are starting to depress me. Take care  :waving; :beer1;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: Hanify on January 16, 2010, 06:55:15 PM
I love you.  You cheer up my day so often - and I don't always tell you cos it sounds silly.  And it was so exciting actually talking to you yesterday.  I don't know how to help other than just being here.
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on January 16, 2010, 07:05:03 PM
Oh not to worry about me.  I'm not there.  But turning off the tv is a good idea -- or maybe watching Law and Order SVU...

ok, I'm up for a party. 
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: fc2821 on January 17, 2010, 10:15:40 AM
Did someone say psarty?  I'm there. :2thumbsup; :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: del on January 17, 2010, 11:06:53 AM
We can party anytime!!! 

I love your atavar dan!!!
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on February 10, 2010, 05:14:53 PM
deleted by poster
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: willowtreewren on February 10, 2010, 05:48:06 PM
 :grouphug; Dan.

Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: looneytunes on February 10, 2010, 06:42:10 PM
Dan, it COULD be worse.  But you always seem to make lemonade out of lemons.  You have a way of making us laugh so I sure hate to see you down or blue.  So, take those lemons and start crushing my friend.  There are a lot of us out here that would rather see you smiling while drinking your lemonade on that terrace overlooking the water than puckering up sucking on a lemon.    ;D

WE can be your support system and you are NOT old.  Age is so relative.  I know people who are 30 and act 80 and some people that are 80 and act 30.   You are a progressive thinking southern gentleman.  And I'm thankful you are part of the IHD gang.   

Sending you a cyberhug.   :grouphug;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: fc2821 on February 11, 2010, 12:33:26 PM
   Dan, you are a good fellow who has brought many smiles to so many of us.  It would be worse if you weren't on IHD.   :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: dwcrawford on February 14, 2010, 05:04:57 PM
again, kitkat, what I had posted the deletion of which bothered you.  hope it makes you happy as seeing it again certainly makes me feel a lot worse and closer back into depressioin.

Am I going to get fired?  Does today, tomorrow or yesterday matter?

Last week this pushy technician from my unit changed my goal for fluid removal.  I had gained weight.  My nurse said it was actual weight gain and I could stand only 1.5 to 2 liters of removal so she set it for 1.8.  (The dietician just tells me to EAT.  Anything but eat.  I try.  So I did gain weight.)  The tech comes by and says this is ridiculous and moved the goal up to 3.  Midsession  I started the cramps, etc. and as usual,  at that time the techs were all gossiping or on a break or just not there.  I hurt all weekend.     

Then Thanh, the nurse, turns the machine the next time so that I can see what is going on.  I want to learn and I want to see.  This tech asked what that was about.  I told her and she said I wouldn’t understand it anyway so she turned it back.  Pissed me off yet I said nothing.

The nurse can’t spend a lot of time with an individual.  After all, she has 11 other patients at any given time.  I never see the tech except when she puts me on and four hours later when she takes me off – unless she is pissing me off.

I carry lots of junk with me (computer, etc.) so the nurse will sometimes wave me to come in once the chair is ready.  On this particular day, the tech referenced above said if I kept coming in early and rushing here she’d see to it I was the last person put on the machines and taken off.   Pissed me off.

Well, last Friday the nurse (who is unfortunately a friend – unfortunate in that being a NONO.)  Told me to talk to the scheduling nurse and request another tech.  She said this one was rude to her too and she didn’t like how she’d been talking to me.  The nurse made a call to the scheduler who was supposed to come by with her boss (but never did).

My doctor comes early in my session every Monday.  Somehow the tech had reported beforehand that I was unhappy with what was going on.  The doctor comes by and immediately starts on possible alternative treatments for me.  Have I thought about Home Hemo (yes I had but I don’t have the required support at home)?  How about PD?  It isn’t for me for various reasons.  Did we stop pursuing the transplant option?     (I haven’t filled out the papers yet and I’m too old for other than cadaver and I don’t really think I want to go through it – being alone and without family, etc.).  Shouldn’t he be considering how I’d fair the best rather than what makes technicians happy?  He’d already at an earlier date said either this or a transplant.

Then I told of some of my complaints.  Choking and not being able to get water from my techs.  Being promised button holes for ages and self training.

My thought?  Is he getting ready to “fire” me because I am confrontational?  Once before they’d asked me to come in the morning.  I got there and was told there was no chair so I had to wait an hour.  I was pissed and raised a little stink.  They got me a chair.  Another time I was sitting by Roy (rest his soul) and his screaming, etc. was getting to me.  I asked to have another chair.  I got it.  I guess that is all confrontational.  Maybe it is my personality.  On this site even, I’m accused to starting things when I had not such intention at all.  And of saying things that never came out of mouth (or off my keyboard).  Is it my fault?

Thanh did tell me yesterday that I was to start Buttonholes immediately and she was going to do it.  Wonderful except she is going to Tanzania next week for two weeks to meet her in-laws.  I suggested we wait until she returns.   Where did that edict come from anyway?     

Anyone who has read anything I’ve written about Davita Med Center Houston knows how I’ve praised the unit all these months.  Do I leave it?  I’d have to change doctors.  He is the best in the city.  But it sounds like he may be getting ready to “fire” me anyway.   Do I just hang in and live with it, as any other center could have those issues?  Do I just give up on dialysis all the way?  Does today, tomorrow or yesterday really make a difference?       
Title: Re: It COULD get worse
Post by: willowtreewren on February 14, 2010, 07:07:59 PM
Dan,
If it makes you feel worse to have this here, then don't.
 :grouphug; :grouphug;

Aleta