Would this have made you mad?

[Sara]

When Joe was in the hospital a few weeks ago, this one nurse really made me mad.  I still think about it, even weeks later. 

It had been over 24 hours since he'd had anything to eat, almost 24 hours since he had something to drink, was groggy from surgery and strapped to a gurney and being rolled down to the dialysis unit in the hospital.  I was walking behind him.  The nurses taking him downstairs had to stop at a nurses' station to pick up something and as he's laying there a nurse (a B**** is more like it) walked up to him and said "You're a big guy!"  Then she takes her glass of water and standing over him basically in his face drinks it.  He sleepily makes a sort of joke saying, "Oh, don't drink that in front of me."  So she says, "Oh, yeah?  Mmmmmmm" and downs the whole rest of the drink.  It's hard to explain how annoying and immature it was, so just trust me on that.  She went on to say something about her husband being a big guy and she "likes big guys" blah blah blah.  I gave her a nasty look and we moved on.  I asked Joe about it later if it bothered him (her drinking it in his face) and he said no, but it really made me upset. 

How would you have felt about it?

[kitkatz]

Yes, I would have been bloody furious! This person needs to written up to a nursing supervisor.

[angieskidney]

some nurses are just obnoxious.. or else didn't think.

[BigSky]

Would not bother me.

Why should it?



Seems clear that it was done in a joking manner. It was  even seen that way by you as you described what Joe doing as sort of a joke.

He sleepily makes a sort of joke saying, "Oh, don't drink that in front of me."

More things to worry and care about than someone drinking in front of me.






 

[goofynina]

Hell yah that would've pissed the hell out of me too,  freaken nurse, how dare her drink that water in front of him and then to make a comment like him being a "big guy"  unh uh, it would've been on........gotta protect whats ours girlfriend, regardless of what he says,,, like i tell my hubby, , I OWN YOU MOFO....   LOL   

[Panda_9]

Its one thing to drink in front of a dialysis patient, but to make a joke about it is just low. I would of slapped the b***h in the face.

[Travincal]

Once again your all so touchy about your problems. I would have just blown her off and assumed the best that either she didnt know we cant drink or that she is just stupid and didnt know what was coming out of her mouth. Regardless even if she did know you should be more comfortable with your condition. Instead of getting offended you should have told her "Hey I bet you dont get to relax as much as I do every week" or something of the sort.

[Sara]

Once again your all so touchy about your problems. I would have just blown her off and assumed the best that either she didnt know we cant drink or that she is just stupid and didnt know what was coming out of her mouth. Regardless even if she did know you should be more comfortable with your condition. Instead of getting offended you should have told her "Hey I bet you dont get to relax as much as I do every week" or something of the sort.

If you're referring to dialysis sessions as relaxation... if you consider being stabbed with needles, having your BP plummet and having to sit in a chair while feeling like you're going to rip your lines out from the anxiety and restless legs, if you consider all that relaxing, more power to you, bro.  I don't. 

[Bajanne]

Once again your all so touchy about your problems. I would have just blown her off and assumed the best that either she didnt know we cant drink or that she is just stupid and didnt know what was coming out of her mouth. Regardless even if she did know you should be more comfortable with your condition. Instead of getting offended you should have told her "Hey I bet you dont get to relax as much as I do every week" or something of the sort.

I just don't understand your point of view.  Patients deserve proper and respectful treatment.  Don't you know that part of our healing and coping comes from the kind of way we are treated by those who deal with us?  There was no excuse for that poor behaviour, and talking about it is not being touchy.
Are you a dialysis patient, or a disrespectful nurse on the sly?  I wonder.............

[Rerun]

Everyone handles comments differently.  It depends on what "mood" I'm in if I joke or not.  Which isn't fair to those around me. 

I know to the STAFF it looks like we are relaxing.  NOT.  We are just so damn tired that we pass out.

[Travincal]

Well you all can think what you want about me being a nurse undercover but the idea of that is just plain immature considering you would think that a nurse would have better things to do then listen to patients complain more after work. I am a patient whether you want to believe it or not and I thought this site was going to have a positive approach to dialysis. I do not regret getting dialysis because I think that it has made me a better patient and I also have a positive outlook on things because I work as a marine liason at the hospital and see people come back from the sandpit missing arms, legs, fingers and more. I know that had I not been in the military when all this happened I would never have been able to afford any of the medical conditions I now have. I have lost 2 of my best friends from bootcamp in the last 4 months. It is for those reasons that every morning I wake up I am happy that I get to live another day. I guess my view on things is quite different from most of yall but Im just trying to tell you that there is another way to live. Life is like trying to make the perfect omelet and you cant make an omelet without breaking eggs.

[redheadedangel]

Ok Here I go...My 2 cents worth  . First off. There is absolutely no reason for a nurse or staff member to make a remark to a patient which is out of line and not to do with his/her direct care. She should not be eating or drinking in front of the patient. They have breaks for that. Smartassed remark are completely uncalled far especially about someones size. She would have been wearing that drink had I been there. I have had a lot of fun with a lot of my past patients but never would I insult one. I would have pulled her to the side and had a lil private conversation with her..Hopefully she would have a new perspective afterwards. Sassy

[Bajanne]

Well you all can think what you want about me being a nurse undercover but the idea of that is just plain immature considering you would think that a nurse would have better things to do then listen to patients complain more after work. I am a patient whether you want to believe it or not and I thought this site was going to have a positive approach to dialysis.

It is also clear that you have a problem with humour, which I was hoping to appeal to, not to get you in a rant.

[nkviking75]

Once again your all so touchy about your problems. I would have just blown her off and assumed the best that either she didnt know we cant drink or that she is just stupid and didnt know what was coming out of her mouth. Regardless even if she did know you should be more comfortable with your condition. Instead of getting offended you should have told her "Hey I bet you dont get to relax as much as I do every week" or something of the sort.

Given the description of the events, it's hard to assume anything other than that the nurse was rude, inconsiderate, and chose to respond to a reasonable request by (figuratively) rubbing the patient's nose in his fluid restrictions.  The staff at my unit sometimes doesn't think about how it looks to guzzle a big bottle of Pepsi (my favorite before going on dialysis) in front of me, but I'm quite sure it's not meant to taunt me.  In this case, there's no question that this was taunting.

[BigSky]

Given the description of the events, it's hard to assume anything other than that the nurse was rude, inconsiderate, and chose to respond to a reasonable request by (figuratively) rubbing the patient's nose in his fluid restrictions.  The staff at my unit sometimes doesn't think about how it looks to guzzle a big bottle of Pepsi (my favorite before going on dialysis) in front of me, but I'm quite sure it's not meant to taunt me.  In this case, there's no question that this was taunting.

I would disagree.

This occurred at a nurses station.  Its clear the nurse was drinking the fluid and said nothing until she was spoken to.  In the manner it was said and described and witnessed, it is clear the nurse thought it as a joke as well as those around the event.

Come on now.  Just because we cannot drink our fill of fluid has it come that no one around you can drink in front of you?  What is next?  Not eating a candybar in front of a diabetic?  Not eating a cupcake in front of a person because they may be on a diet?  People not eating mac and cheese in front of us because of PO4 content?   

 

[Sara]

Given the description of the events, it's hard to assume anything other than that the nurse was rude, inconsiderate, and chose to respond to a reasonable request by (figuratively) rubbing the patient's nose in his fluid restrictions.  The staff at my unit sometimes doesn't think about how it looks to guzzle a big bottle of Pepsi (my favorite before going on dialysis) in front of me, but I'm quite sure it's not meant to taunt me.  In this case, there's no question that this was taunting.

I would disagree.

This occurred at a nurses station.  Its clear the nurse was drinking the fluid and said nothing until she was spoken to.  In the manner it was said and described and witnessed, it is clear the nurse thought it as a joke as well as those around the event.

Come on now.  Just because we cannot drink our fill of fluid has it come that no one around you can drink in front of you?  What is next?  Not eating a candybar in front of a diabetic?  Not eating a cupcake in front of a person because they may be on a diet?  People not eating mac and cheese in front of us because of PO4 content?   

 

No, she walked up to him laying on a gurney (sp?) and made the comment about him being a big guy.  Then she leaned over him in his face and said "mmmmmm" as she drank her drink.  Yeah she thought it was funny, but none of the other nurses laughed.

[BigSky]

No, she walked up to him laying on a gurney (sp?) and made the comment about him being a big guy.  Then she leaned over him in his face and said "mmmmmm" as she drank her drink.  Yeah she thought it was funny, but none of the other nurses laughed.

Well your whole problem to me stems from it being about the drinking thing.  This is shown by your  last couple of lines of your first post.

From what you say it she was already drinking when Joe made the joke of "don't drink that in front of me" and she continued to drink and said "mmmmmmmm". 

You thought what Joe said was in a joke manner so why wouldn't the nurse?

[Sara]

1. The comment about him being a big guy and she liked big guys was out of line...unprofessional.
2. Bothering/flirting/getting in someone's face to anyone that is obviously groggy from just having had surgery is out of line...unprofessional.
3. Flaunting your ability to consume liquids in the FACE of someone who is obviously not able to is out of line...unprofessional.

She is a freaking NURSE for Pete's sake.  Isn't she supposed to make a patient's life easier/healthier during their stay at the hospital? 

I wish I had said something.  If I knew her name I definitely would have reported her for it.  I really don't understand why you feel this is acceptable.

[nkviking75]

Given the description of the events, it's hard to assume anything other than that the nurse was rude, inconsiderate, and chose to respond to a reasonable request by (figuratively) rubbing the patient's nose in his fluid restrictions.  The staff at my unit sometimes doesn't think about how it looks to guzzle a big bottle of Pepsi (my favorite before going on dialysis) in front of me, but I'm quite sure it's not meant to taunt me.  In this case, there's no question that this was taunting.

I would disagree.

This occurred at a nurses station.  Its clear the nurse was drinking the fluid and said nothing until she was spoken to.  In the manner it was said and described and witnessed, it is clear the nurse thought it as a joke as well as those around the event.

Come on now.  Just because we cannot drink our fill of fluid has it come that no one around you can drink in front of you?  What is next?  Not eating a candybar in front of a diabetic?  Not eating a cupcake in front of a person because they may be on a diet?  People not eating mac and cheese in front of us because of PO4 content?   

 

As I read what was described, it sounded like taunting to me.  Looking at it again, I'm not so sure.  I'm not hypersensitive about what people eat and drink around me any.  Actually, the hardest thing for me is the occasional Saturday morning dialysis session where the staff decides to cook breakfast in the break room and I can smell it wafting down the hall.  Torture!!!  :-)   But obviously, it is not meant malicioiusly.

[BigSky]

1. The comment about him being a big guy and she liked big guys was out of line...unprofessional.
2. Bothering/ flirting /getting in someone's face to anyone that is obviously groggy from just having had surgery is out of line...unprofessional.
3. Flaunting your ability to consume liquids in the FACE of someone who is obviously not able to is out of line...unprofessional.

She is a freaking NURSE for Pete's sake.  Isn't she supposed to make a patient's life easier/healthier during their stay at the hospital? 

I wish I had said something.  If I knew her name I definitely would have reported her for it.  I really don't understand why you feel this is acceptable.

I pretty much thought it was you were mad over him being flirted with but didn't want to say it, seems my first thought was dead on.
 

[Sara]

Actually he gets flirted with a lot, and while I don't LOVE the idea of it, it's not what pissed me off. 

[kitkatz]

I just think it was RUDE! It should have been pointed out to the nurse, too.

[BigSky]

So in other words if Joe never "joked" to the nurse about drinking in front of him then you would have nothing to be pissed about because the nurse would have never have done it the manner that irks you.  (Because the flirting had nothing to do with it)

As to your earlier question why I find it acceptable?

Well I am a dialysis patient and I get it! 

Sorry to say this but you will not understand because you are being irrational on the matter.   

See it for what it was. 

A joke between a patient and nurse that you were not part of.

But go ahead and feel the way you do.

Peace out

[Sara]

Whatever. 

[DeLana]

It makes me cringe that one of our own (a nurse) could be so callous and disrespectful toward a patient - any patient.  My major problems with her attitude and behavior:

- You never comment on a patient's size, this is an insult and totally out of line

- She should know that someone who had a surgical procedure may still be NPO (nothing by mouth) and may not have had anything to eat or drink in quite a while, even if she's clueless about fluid restrictions for dialysis patients (which she probably didn't know that he was)

- And even after the patient indicated that he couldn't drink anything she basically made fun of him/the situation by drinking right in front of him...

Ughhh.... where do they find these people who pose as nurses?!

DeLana

P.S.  No, I'm not perfect, but I believe that basic respect is a requirement for all nurses - even those who don't have "the calling" and entered into nursing as "just a job that pays fairly well and can be convenient for them"