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Author Topic: A touching offer today.  (Read 3351 times)
monrein
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Might as well smile

« on: June 19, 2008, 05:42:42 PM »

I was out all day today with my niece and nephew but my husband had to go to the dentist.  When we got home he told me the most incredible story and I've just finished picking my emotions up off the floor and washing my face to regain my composure. 
At our dentist's office, the receptionist who is a really sweet person, was asking Lee about me and dialysis and the transplant process etc.  He had his appointment, was paying the bill when Karen, the receptionist, quietly said  "You know if it all doesn't work out, I'd be prepared to go on the list".  Lee thought she was saying something about his tooth situation but it made no sense so he looked at her quizzically and she clarified by saying "I don't want anything to happen to Gail and I know dialysis is hard so if none of you work out I'd be prepared to give her a kidney."  I see this woman twice a year and I'm floored by her generous gesture.  I don't expect this to come to pass but I'm so touched that she would make that offer and who knows what the future will actually deliver.
We're sending her some flowers tomorrow.  Just thought I'd share this story about the kindness of relative strangers.
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
Razman
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« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2008, 05:51:44 PM »

She sure sounds like a very generous person.  I wish that there were more people like that.   Please let her know that she is special.
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del
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« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2008, 05:52:38 PM »

Some people are just angels in disquise. :grouphug;
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Don't take your organs to heaven.  Heaven knows we need them here.
kidney4traci
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« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2008, 05:56:07 PM »

Wow, that is touching. God bless her!  I have had more of that from people I barely know also, it amazes me how  someone like that can be so giving.  Now if I could just get that same reaction from a family member that might actually be a match!
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Married - three children.
Alports female, diagnosed ESRD 10/04
11/04  Hemo in clinic
6/07 hemo at HOME! 
2/3/09 - Transplant from an angel of a friend!!!
pelagia
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« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2008, 06:49:14 PM »

I had the experience of having one of my close friends tell me personally that she would be willing to be tested as a donor for my husband.  It was soon after we decided that we were going to let our friends know about my husband's impending kidney failure.  It blew me away and I had no idea what to say.  For me there is no easy way to verbally express the depth of feeling such an act of generosity can invoke. 
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As for me, I'll borrow this thought: "Having never experienced kidney disease, I had no idea how crucial kidney function is to the rest of the body." - KD
paris
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« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2008, 07:03:42 PM »

What a wonderful thing to happen. :2thumbsup;  There are many angels in our lives and we never know who they are or where they will show up.  My physical therapist told me last month that she had never thought about donating a kidney. But after meeting me, she said she would absolutely do it for family--- or me!  How do you even respond to that?     
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
kimcanada
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« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2008, 07:11:30 PM »

Its hard to know how to respond... Its an amazing feeling, and I always feel like the would be donor never really understands how powerful that is to the recipient
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stauffenberg
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« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2008, 07:23:57 PM »

Stories like this make the contrast with cases of close relatives refusing to donate seem all the more horrible.  I read a case study in a medical ethics text by Beauchamp and Childress of a sister who was tested to donate a kidney to her brother, who would soon die because of lack of venous access for continuing his dialysis -- a cause of 15% of all deaths on dialysis.  The sister was found to be a good HLA match, the right blood type, and to be in perfect health, but she begged the examining physician to lie for her and tell her brother that she was not a suitable donor after all, since she lost her courage.  The doctor cooperated and lied for her.  I don't know who is more morally bankrupt, the sister or the doctor.
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monrein
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« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2008, 08:07:21 PM »

I really do feel blessed because of all the offers I have had, from family, friends and now an almost stranger.  I can't judge people who don't have the courage to give but I sure can appreciate those who do.  So far, I have had both my sibs, two aunts (my only two), my cousin, my husband, my sister-in-law, one of my former students, two friends, and now this woman.  At my gym, one of the women also said once that if none of my potentials worked out she'd ask around and see who'd step up.  The cool thing is that one of her sons donated bone marrow to a young man in the US whom he'd never met.  He just felt it was something he needed to do.
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
Sunny
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Sunny

« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2008, 08:42:22 PM »

That is a very nice story.
There are good people in the world. Sending flowers is a good way of showing appreciation.
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Sunny, 49 year old female
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Sluff
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« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2008, 08:56:33 PM »

Amazing how things happen. I'd be willing to bet that if she is a match she will do it.  :grouphug;
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rose1999
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« Reply #11 on: June 19, 2008, 11:51:10 PM »

What a wonderful lady, you may only see her twice a year Gail but you must hold a place in her heart (as you do in ours). Blessings on both of you.  :grouphug;
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RichardMEL
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« Reply #12 on: June 20, 2008, 01:12:55 AM »

Lovely offer... and irregardless of the outcome I am sure even the mere thought and offer (which seems genuine enough) would lift your spirits incredibly.. It certainly gives me faith thousands of miles away (hmm, I saw my dentist last week and no such luck!! LOL Must be because I stupidly accepted an appointment for Friday the 13th! :) ).

There are amazing people out there... and it's times like this that we're reminded of this.

On the other hand re Staufenberg's post.... IMHO it is the Doctor who is more morally bankrupt in this situation. The sister can lose courage or change their mind for whatever reasons and that is their right, even if it seems heartless to basically consign their brother to a death sentence. For me though the doctor is clearly at fault for LYING about it! OMG!! It beggars belief to me. So the sister didn't have the guts to admit to her brother/family "I'm too scared to do this" or something is horrible, but for a medical "professional" to support that by lying is amazing...

What contrasting stories....
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
Lori1851
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« Reply #13 on: June 21, 2008, 06:12:13 PM »

Monrein,
You never know that her offer may be the ONE! God sends angels ;)
Lori/Indiana
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keith
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« Reply #14 on: June 21, 2008, 07:34:35 PM »

Angels come in all shapes an sizes and u'll  never kno where ur angel will b or who will b ur angel
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Bajanne
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« Reply #15 on: June 21, 2008, 07:52:06 PM »

This was indeed very touching.  It is things like this that give you a good feeling and renew your faith in humankind.
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I LOVE  my IHD family! :grouphug;
Ang
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« Reply #16 on: June 21, 2008, 10:51:32 PM »

stories  such  as  this  rekindle  your  fath in human  kindness

especially  with  all  the  BS  and  crap  going  on  in  the  world  today.
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willieandwinnie
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« Reply #17 on: June 22, 2008, 06:18:27 AM »

:cuddle; monrein. Now that's what I call an angel :angel;, and sure does renew you faith. With folks like that involved in your life, your wait for a new kidney won't be long. God bless that girl.  :waving;
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"I know there's nothing to it, but I want to know what it is there's nothing to"
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