Hi

[G-Ma]

I am so happy that I stumbled upon this site.  (Dancing around the room sprinkling stardust at everything.) I actually asked the Dr. last week if I am the only person on dialysis that cries all the time..actually the last 3 weeks pretty much daily.  We all know what his answer was....no help.  May 4 will be my first anniversary on dialysis and I can't seem to kick the depression.  59 years old.  Diabetes since 1987, then retinopathy broke vessels in both eyes so spent one year with no vision, then a fantastic surgeon cleared my eyes and did implants in both eyes so I have good long distance vision but not much for reading or computer so my job went to H..., then kidneys went to H...and I feel like I went to H....used to love all kinds of crafts, sewing, ceramics etc and now am downsizing all that stuff due to all the complications so more depression.  My friends and family all think I should just be happy to be alive..they have no clue what it feels like to be tied to that machine.  I pretty much believe an Angel helped me find this site and I've been reading all weekend and enjoying it.  I am so thankful for all of you and what you have said.   

[willieandwinnie]

G-Ma, I personally think depression goes along with dialysis. Others here will disagree.  You have found a great site for honest information and loving support from folks that have been through it all. I am a caregiver and I know my husband went into a horrible depression when he woke up from what was suppose to be a 5 day hopsital stay 6 months later and was on dialysis. They gave him some anti-depressants medication that work for him. He is also 59 (will be 60 in Aug) and had no choice but to stop working. He just couldn't do what the job required anymore.

Post often and keep reading. We will answer any questions you have and share all our experiences. 

[G-Ma]

Thank you and nice to meet you.

[flip]

Welcome to IHD, G-Ma. I'm one of those that doesn't get depressed over dialysis. I don't know if I'm just too stupid or it's the fact that they pay me for doing it. Anyway, keep your chin up and hang out with us. It's informative and entertaining.

[bolta72]

Welcome, try to find something that will take your mind off dialysis. After close to 2 years for me I have pretty much accepted it as part of life. O, and thanks for the stardust.

[G-Ma]

Thanks Flip and Bolta....I am working on being more up...people usually think of me as "The Strong One" so I guess I'm really throwing us all for a loop.   

[monrein]

Hi G-Ma
Welcome to IHD.  Very many of us are not strangers to depression although I'm sure that it manifests itself differently for each of us.  We are lucky to be alive but for sure there's more to life than just existing on the planet.  Hopefully this site can help you to feel less alone, there are many of us here with a vast range of experiences.  I look forward to getting to know you better so post often OK.

[xtrememoosetrax]

 . Glad you found your way here. This is such a great site, with tons of information and support.  Looking forward to hearing more about your journey.

[Bajanne]

Welcome to our community!  So glad that you "stumbled upon" this site.  This site is on great thing that happened to me when I found out that I would have to start diaysis.  Though I cannot love dialysis, I do appreciate the extension of days that it has given me.  I have a grandson whom I want to see grow up.  We are contemporaries.  A friend of mine insists that 1950 was the last year for good people!! I just squeezed in.  Please read as much as you can, and post as much as you can.  You will discover that this site has become a bonafide family - caring, sharing and supportive.    Feel free to rant, rage, rave, vent as much as you want.  Looking forward to hearing much more from you.


Bajanne, Moderator

[boxman55]

hey G-Ma glad you took the time to find us. We are pretty posiitive and upbeat most of the time around here so stick around where glad your here

Boxman, Moderator

[MyssAnne]

G-Ma, welcome!!!!!!

As for depression, join the club!!!!  It's part of the dialysis experience that we all love and cherish. Yes, that was sarcasm!!

It does get better, somewhat. The depression that is.  Being busy sometimes helps. Sometimes it doesn't.  Are you on an
antidepressant? Even a mild one, I"m on Lexapro helps.   TELL your neph you want something. That's a tip by the way.
You TELL your nurse, your neph, everyone over 'THERE' that YOU know your body, and what you need. 

Sure hope you find some consolation here!!!  We've got lots of shoulders and ears!!!!!

 

[Romona]

 

[thegrammalady]

  glad you found us. this is a great place to land.

[ndl0520]

  G-ma!  This is the best site that will give you all the support that you need.  Don't let depression beat you.  Just remember we are all here for you.

[petey]

Welcome to IHD, G-ma!  I'm glad you found us, and I hope you'll come to think of us as family!

[angellady07]

Welcome. Whenever you feel like crying just know that you are not alone. We have awesome people on this board who are willing to listen and help. Glad to have you here. 

[Sluff]

Welcome G-Ma to ihatedialysis.com,

The best thing about this site is everyone knows how you feel both physically, mentally and emotionally. Glad you found us and I hope you find comfort through knowledge and the fact that you are not alone.

Sluff/Admin

[annabanana]

Welcome G-Ma! That stardust sounds good! (And an Angel on your side is very good, too!)

I am a caregiver to my husband. Depression has been a problem for him, too. He, also, has been known as "The Strong One" so it's hard...This site will help you, I promise! 

I am a craftsperson and am curious about what you mean by "downsizing". Maybe you can start a new thread about this. Also, there are a few threads here about stuff like that.

[ponybill]

Depression is an ugly thing but it can be beat. I was on dialysis twice, once when I was 13 and just this year when my transplanted kidney from 1983 failed. I know how you feel. If you have a support system, it can really help.

[G-Ma]

  Thank you all so much.  I am feeling better just knowing you are in my life.  More another time on the downsizing I'm doing.  I have to get to bed, try to sleep as I meet with the surgeon tomorrow.  I have wimped out on visiting the NX Stage, just don't know if I'm ready for that yet, I may want to work on the buttonhole first and not sure about meeting with the transplant committee or just shelving that one. Thanks again.
Ann 

[annabanana]

Another "Ann" YAY! 

[MyssAnne]

LOL!!!! YAY!!! Did we ever count how many we have? So far I have counted four, are there more than that? That's including all variants of course!!!

[G-Ma]

Thanks all.  Well beginning Access surgery again mid May, 2 step procedure...very nice surgeon and office and I ended up in the Davita Counselor's lap or ear this morning crying again so she and I will be buddies for awhile I guess..by the way, this Davita clinic is great..Monroe, NC...I have been on antidep since first hubby's murder but may need something else or whatever.  We shall see.  Perhaps this is where I need to be at this time and I am so glad I found you all.   
Ann

[migaguiar]

G-Ma,
I lost some percentage of my hearing with my disease (Alports) but i have to admit you have gone through alot. Probably more than i have.
All I can suggest is that maybe you can help others who need help. Im sure there is something you could say especially with all that you have gone
through to help. Even if you helped one person and made their life a little easier it might seem that all your suffering wasnt meaningless. Right? Would
that be worth something to you?
mig

[Ang]

ann  welcome  aboard,try  and  find  something  that  occupys  your  time  besides  dialysis,