HOW TO WRITE GOOD

[glitter]

Use this if you are in college or high school, if you aren’t, it is still good information.:-)

 

 

HOW TO WRITE GOOD

by Frank L. Visco

 

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

 

1... Avoid alliteration. Always.

 

2... Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

 

3... Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

 

4... Employ the vernacular.

 

5... Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

 

6... Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

 

7... It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

 

8... Contractions aren't necessary

 

9... Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

 

10.. One should never generalize.

 

11.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:

    "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

 

12.. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

 

13.. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary;

     it's highly superfluous.

 

14.. Profanity sucks.

 

15.. Be more or less specific.

 

16.. Understatement is always best.

 

17.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

 

18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

 

19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

 

20.. The passive voice is to be avoided.

 

21.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

 

22.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

 

23.. Who needs rhetorical questions?

 

[Bajanne]

I LOVE THIS.  As an English teacher, I find it hilarious!  I agree you must avoid alliteration always!

[monrein]

Great stuff.

[twirl]

do not use hardly no double negatives

[talker]

Use this if you are in college or high school, if you aren’t, it is still good information.:-)

 HOW TO WRITE GOOD

by Frank L. Visco

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

1... Avoid alliteration. Always.

2... Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3... Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

4... Employ the vernacular.

5... Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6... Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7... It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

8... Contractions aren't necessary

9... Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10.. One should never generalize.

11.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:

    "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

12.. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

13.. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary;

     it's highly superfluous.

14.. Profanity sucks.

15.. Be more or less specific.

 16.. Understatement is always best.

17.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20.. The passive voice is to be avoided.

21.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

22.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

23.. Who needs rhetorical questions?

And now, for a delightful moment, of stretching, twisting, and tormenting my English usage.
en dat I doon no haff duh words, am gotta keep butchering duh eng lish , or uz duh speel cheker.
gotta get me a knew copee ov dat dicttionairy buk, dang dowg et da ole wan

[Charlie B53]

I will print this and give it to Grandson in High School.   It wouldn't hurt him to learn a bit of humor, and writing skills.

Thanks immensely!