relationships

[RichardMEL]

re: lack of sex drive...I was with Randy for almost ten years. There was very little sex and none for the last 2 years. For some people it's a big deal but for a lot of people, sex is just a bonus, but not necessary.

yeah, and the "rules" do suck...probably made to be broken.

I'm male. I like sex... BUT sometimes all I really want is lots of cuddles...and you know that feeling when you can snuggle up to someone you love and who hopefully loves you and wake up with them there. That's what I miss the most/want... and the occasional sex would be nice too but.. there are other ways to please a partner.....

[G-Ma]

Oh Lord...my 2nd husb George cuddled..that's all he could do and he was great at it and communication, could have written a book on "Cuddling for Dummies"....and that is what I miss most of our life.  I didn't care that we didn't have anything else...we had each other ...and at the end of the day if you can say that, then you have had happiness.

[Wallyz]

.  "So are you dating anyone yet?  When are you going to find yourself a good girl?  You HAVE to get a girlfriend. 

I hate getting those questions also.
If it is so important to you, why don't you go find someone! Here's my criteria.

Here's my criteria.  She has to be an A Positive Person and very, VERY giving.  Yes I said "an A positive" as in blood type.  Yes I'm looking for an organ and not a girlfriend.  Is that a problem?

Hey I'm A+ and willing to give you my kidney!  In fact I'll trade you!

[RichardMEL]

Yeah G-Ma... I think if there's two things I've learned recently it's:

* Cuddling with someone special is way better than sex- requires far less energy, can be done for hours, and can express so much

* Being upfront and saying what you feel is important...

because

* Life's too short.

[G-Ma]

that's 3 most important things RM....You Rock....as my team used to tell me.   

[Razman]

* Cuddling with someone special is way better than sex- requires far less energy, can be done for hours, and can express so much

I hope my wife never reads this.  For thirty-five years I have been telling her the opposite !!!!!!   

[RichardMEL]

Well don't get me wrong - there's definitely a place (and need) for sex in a relationship.. I just feel it's not the be all and end all

[G-Ma]

Yes, we found sex in the dictionary..........

[highlite36]

Cuddling is GREAT....but get this....when I started dating in college, I was with a young gentleman who wanted to do nothing more than "cuddle."  About two weeks after he broke up with me, he came out of closet.  That has made me look at "cuddling" very differently. 

[RichardMEL]

Well last night I was given the "You're a really special and lovely guy with so much to offer... but not me" talk by someone I really liked. bleah. Well I actually knew that is how she felt, but it still hurt to have her come out and say it. The one positive thing I can say is that at least she treated me the way I wanted to be treated - she was up front and honest and didn't play any games or anything. So I'd much rather be told straight out than be given the run around, or lead on or whatever.

Relationships are hard!!

(of course, truth be told, given dealing with dialysis and it's effects - eg: tiredness, restrictions etc - I'm not sure how suitable I would be in a romantic sense to someone else... but it doesn't stop me wanting someone close like everyone else hey?)

 

[HSM]

I agree with a lot of whats being written. I'm a 23 year old male and on the surface people think I'm confident but it's hard to explain to people how you feel when you have scars from procedures and with the fistula one arm can look weird to people who don't know it's a fistula you have. But all in all I think you can see it either way the positive look or the negative one. Because on the positive if you meet people who judge you on a couple of scars/catheter do you really want someone like that around you? I think not, those people seem shallow to me and in that respect I don't want to know those sort of people. And for every person you meet that isn't the right one for you, you're one closer to the right one......I hope! That's just my view, it might seem stupid to others.

HSM

[boxman55]

Cuddling is GREAT....but get this....when I started dating in college, I was with a young gentleman who wanted to do nothing more than "cuddle."  About two weeks after he broke up with me, he came out of closet.  That has made me look at "cuddling" very differently. 

Highlite, I will put locks on all my closets, and I promise I won't go near them  ...Boxman

[florida.flyer]

RichardMEL, sorry to hear you got the boot, totally understand your feelings. I haven't been in a relationship for years, I put all my energy into spoiling the grandkids ,I know that's not really "living life" but it's as close as I can get, which will have to do. Hang in there!

[monrein]

RM, I hope you'll never give up although I do know that sometimes the fear of rejection and not wanting to "go through it all again" can lead one to think that's the best thing to do.  I just think that there's always a chance of finding a person who will be equally happy to have found you.  I'm stunned by how my friends rally round me and I feel a bit ashamed to type these next words but I'm not sure I would have been able to stick with my husband as he has stuck with me.  Of course I would have tried but I'm not sure I could have sacrificed all my own dreams and plans so young because of my partner's health troubles.  Fortunately, the world contains many who are better than me in this regard and I hope one of these types finds you RichardMel.

Same goes for you HSM.  Just keep looking for good caring friends and then there's always the chance that something more will develop.   

Way to go with the closets Boxman.

[twirl]

RichardMel
you are a wonderful person and someday your princess will come and I really mean that-
you are a warm and loving person
I'm proud to know you

[highlite36]

You know, RM, you are such an awesome person!!!  A good mind, a good heart, AND you LOVE to cuddle (Which is something that not all guys are willing to do!)!!!  You are BOUND to find the RIGHT woman....  WITHOUT DOUBT!!!  Have you ever considered coffee shops?  Has that been asked already?  I find coffee shops are AWESOME at having hot single women!!!!   

HSM, you've definitely got a great point: you never want to settle with one who doesn't accept you.  I gotta tell you, the SEXIEST thing to any man is confidence....regardless of the scars and "issues" that he may have...  If a man can look at me in the eye and tell me that he thinks I'm hot, I don't care how messed up he is, he's DEFINITELY got my attention....  :-)  Good luck on your search.  I know you're going to meet the perfect one!!!!

[annabanana]

I agree with Highlite...confidence IS the sexiest thing about a man.
And, of course, the ability to flirt. (and we all know who I am talking about...)

[RichardMEL]

Coffee shops are a dangerous place for someone on fluid restrictions!

 

[G-Ma]

RM, I am so sorry, but yes, you can "do" a coffee shop...get 1/2 cup of java, sip it, glance at the hot women from lowered eyelids, wink once or twice...ohhh sorry, this was a book I just read....oh well, it worked for him. Go for it, try again, leave all those doors open......except the closet doors as Boxman is on Guard.....       

[highlite36]

Honey, you don't need to DRINK anything!!!  Most coffee shops have AWESOME snacks!!  Rice krispie treats, cookies!  And you can chew half a cup of ice!  They always have ice!!!  And imagine how CHEAP it would be if you didn't have to pay for special coffee!!!

[RichardMEL]

Well the thing is I happen to enjoy the special coffees... so it's just soooo tempting!!! Before you know it I'll be on my third soy decaf latte machiato chocolate mocca!

The sitting around coffee shops making eyes at people thing isn't for me...

Maybe I'll just give up and make a beeline for one of Paris' daughters.... lol

[G-Ma]

your 3rd soy who de what?    ...plain old carmel frappachino for me..ha ha...once a year I do indulge.   

[paris]

They are getting their resumes and head shots together   

[annabanana]

My daughter wants to meet RichardMEL, too. 

[paris]

Well, Anna, sounds like if we can get RichardMelt-my-heart to come over, we can promise him a really good time!!  We will have the ladies lined up and waiting!