in the middle

[twirl]

I watch "Malcome in the Middle"from 6am to 7am during the first hours of dialysis.
Today's show was about kidney failure, Lois has a sister who needs a kidney.
Lois, in her way, forces the sister to take her kidney.
It's like the relationship between Lois and her mother. (love;hate)
A doctor tells Lois about her sister over the phone. Lois did not know about it.
The sister comes in to see her doctor and he tells her it is her lucky day.
She remarks, "where's my party hat, I have dialysis today"
then he tells her she is getting a kidney, Lois just had the surgery to get her kidney out.
If the sister does not get a kidney she will die and the sister gets the kidney and leaves town without saying thanks.
makes me depressed because I have a twin sister and she will not give me a kidney
she is in good health
She does not have high blood pressure or PKD
and I know it is her kidney
but I would give her one if I had one to give
and I do still love her
but.......... it is depressing

[cherpep]

Giving you her kidney has to be something she wants to do.  If she has made the choice not to give you her kidney, you really should not resent her for it.  I know it must be hard for you, but you have to find it somewhere in your heart to accept her choice.  You are asking someone to give you a piece of their body, really let the enormity of that sink in.  Not everyone can do that, and you can't expect them to, even if they are a sibling.  I don't know her reasons, and it's possible that you don't know all her reasons.  I hope you can come to terms with this.  If you believe in God, pray for understanding. 

[kimcanada]

Twirl..
I have two sisters, one went right away to see if she was a match, which she was, high blood pressure took her out of the running.
My other sister, the youngest of the three of us, is in perfect health, and has lied to me about 4 times, saying that she was in the process of being tested...

When I give myself time to think about why she won't donate , or even get tested, I fell to the lowest depths.  I can't understand why she won't , I know I would be there for her and my other sister.  I don't know what to say to you to make you feel better, except that I totally understand how you are feeling.

Kim

[KICKSTART]

Add me to that list, my brother wont even consider it either !

[paddbear0000]

Just keep in mind that she may come around over time. I do know how you feel also. My sister doesn't want to donate to me either. She's never had surgery and is very healthy. She's terrified to be cut open. I respect that because so am I.   

[vandie]

I know how difficult this must be for you, but dwelling on why people do or do not do things is so draining.  Believe me, we have all been there.

We cannot control other's actions, nor should we let it get us down when they do not do what we think they should or what we would do in the same situation.

Hang in there, twirl.

xoxo

[petey]

Marvin has four brothers, a sister, and 14 grown nieces and nephews.  Even after watching him struggle through dialysis for 13 years, NONE of them have offered to be tested to see if they match him.  On the other hand, I was his living donor (kidney lasted from 2000-2003), and my sister, my brother, and my brother's wife have all been tested to see if they match Marvin (my sister came the closest but she was ruled out after three months of extensive testing, and then SHE cried for three days).  My dad threw an absolute temper tantrum (it was ugly) when they wouldn't let him be tested (he's 71, very overweight, and Type 1 diabetic).  Some people can make the offer, and others simply cannot.  We can't change that, but we do have to accept it  --  but we still don't have to like it.

[KT0930]

I have two brothers. One has been tested twice - once in 2001, but we decided it would be better at the time to have our dad donate; and once in 2007, but because of my elevated PRA, he was no longer a match. My other brother (he's actually a half-brother) has never spoken directly to me about my kidney problems except to call and congratulate me after my most recent transplant. I don't know why. I'm sure he has his reasons, but I still love him and respect him because he's my brother. I know it's hard, but that's all we can do in a situation like this.

[Sunny]

I have 9 brothers and sisters (5 sisters and 4 brothers) and only one came forward to be tested for donation. She has high blood pressure and takes meds to treat it but insisted on donating to me anyway. My kidneys stabalized and I did not have the transplant. Looking back on it, I am sooooooooo glad I didn't take her kidney considering her high blood pressure. I would have felt guilty forever and in constant fear for her health. In the back of my mind, though, I often think about the fact only one of my 9 siblings came forward to offer donation. I had more offers from my husband's side of the family.

[boxman55]

Twirl, as you can see, most people here at IHD have the same dilemma. For me I have three brothers and three sisters along with thirteen first cousins and so far after 19 months on dialysis I only had one sister get tested. She was denied because of an auto immune diesease. They are all very supportive but for what ever reason not willing to donate, my friends are the same way. Its funny because now I have no problem saying I would donate but I am not so sure if the shoe was on a different foot. You have to try and not let it get to you...Boxman

[twirl]

If I had good kidneys ; I'd donate one to you

several times your comments have made me feel better

and you are funny; I like that is a person

[boxman55]

If I had good kidneys ; I'd donate one to you

several times your comments have made me feel better

and you are funny; I like that in a person

That is very nice of you to say, Thank you...Boxman