Davita's STUPID Newsletter Arrrg!!! GOD, they think we're so simple minded.

[Epoman]

So Davita has this monthly newsletter called "Life Lines" And the first article is always some made up story about two patients named:

Mr. Neg A Tiv
Ms. Hope Springs Eternal

and

The dietician named:

Ms. Dee Vita

 

And "Neg" is always you guessed it, negative and "Hope" is always you guessed it again, positive. They write these lame stories about how "neg" doesn't understand why he can't eat this and that or why "neg" can't understand why he needs 4 hours of dialysis or why he needs to take binders with his meals. And "Hope" is the perfect patient who is always upbeat, positive, sticks to her diet 1000% and is always sticking her nose in "Negs" business.

The stories are written so I guess 5 year olds can understand it, but it bothers me that they write these stories like we're so simple minded that we can't just read a fact based article. It's sickening I can't stand it. And my GOD the names, Mr. Neg A. Tiv Jesus who the hell thought of that? or Ms. Hope Springs Eternal WTF? also Ms. Dee Vita I thought it's pronounced DUH-VE-TAH.

Here's an excerpt:

Let me set it up for you. In the story "Neg" is telling "Dee" how he is going to a picnic and how they will have baked beans at the picnic, but he knows they are bad for him. The reason he is talking to "Dee" about the picnic is because "Hope" stuck her nose in whats none of her business and told "Dee" about "Neg" going to a picnic this weekend.

"I'm impressed you already know baked beans are high in phosphorus as well as potassium. So how about having just one tablespoon of baked beans to taste?

Oh man thats great, tell "Neg" to eat ONE spoonfull and no more just to taste it! For what? so he can see what he's missing? or to satisify his craving? yeah right.

This is what I'm talking about it's just ridiculous. They do these dumb stories every month. I may scan a article or two and post it in the humor section one day.

I wish Davita would treat us like adults and not sick little children. We are adults Davita treat us like it, save your theme parties and lame fictional newsletter articles. No one likes them anyway.

/end of rant

[LifeOnHold]

You should write your own newsletter article, featuring Mr. Braun Nozer and Ms. Bitemenow! 

[Wizard]

i didn't go to college and pay for an education to read that retarded crap!
DieVita has it in their heads they are marketing to brainless people.
I always find it strange when the technician tapes me down and then asks me what I am going to do the rest of the day?
I am going home for lunch and back to bed, I am drained physically and the day is shot is usually my response.
And heaven forbid if you show up for treatment in different drag than you normally wear then you get a hundred different questions and you spend 3 hours answering this was what was in my closet hanging up CLEAN. Trust me I can't go anywhere after you drain the life out of me, I can barely operate the car.  Usually the car knows where it's home is I just have to find a way to get it into the garage.

[Epoman]

i didn't go to college and pay for an education to read that retarded crap!
DieVita has it in their heads they are marketing to brainless people.
I always find it strange when the technician tapes me down and then asks me what I am going to do the rest of the day?
I am going home for lunch and back to bed, I am drained physically and the day is shot is usually my response.
And heaven forbid if you show up for treatment in different drag than you normally wear then you get a hundred different questions and you spend 3 hours answering this was what was in my closet hanging up CLEAN. Trust me I can't go anywhere after you drain the life out of me, I can barely operate the car.  Usually the car knows where it's home is I just have to find a way to get it into the garage.

Yeah the workers really have no clue when it comes to what we feel like even before and after dialysis. But back on subject yeah that newsletter makes me want to take a crap on it. I Hope DUH-vita sees this site and gets a clue.

[Bajanne]

I have to be truthful.  I LOVE this message board.   When I return to my island to have my pre-dialysis care I am going to tell the doctors and nurses about this message board.  They need to read it.  That might save me ( a high school and college teacher) from having to answer those kind of patronizing questions.  However, I do think that the guys at our centre (British spelling) are not like that.  A doctor there is the friend of a friend and she has treated me as an adult

[LifeOnHold]

The techs/nurses at my unit are, for the most part, professional and knowledgeable-- but there are a few in every unit that make going to dialysis a nightmare.  Thankfully, most of those don't last long in my unit... patients do speak up and the staff does pay attention to our complaints when they're backed up by evidence.

I guess the best thing you can do as you start dialysis is to be super-nice... and super-informed!  A patient who understands dietary and fluid restrictions and tries to adhere to them is in a much better spot than a patient who doesn't know what's going on, and doesn't care, either.  If the staff perceives you as someone who cares about her health, they'll respect you much more and will be more willing to work with you when you have problems.  A little 'schmoozing' goes a long way!   

[Treasure]

Oooh, another good topic. Hopefully, there's not a limit to how many times you can post in one day. If there is, ooops! sorry!

I haven't seen a Davita newsletter, but I have seen a bunch of other newsletters for patients. If I have to read one more "Roses are red..." poem by a patient, I'll scream.

But what bugs me most, is the dialysis patient pictures up in the waiting room. I wish there could be more diversity in the pics they display. No, I don't mean racial diversity. I mean, just once or twice, throw in a pic of someone who isn't 100 years old. One pic in my center is of an elderly man, who's so compliant, that he can go fishing  or gardening...or something like that. I am happy for him...very truly.  But that's not very inspirational to someone like me. I want to see a pic of someone doing PD while jumping out of an airplane (I thought about it, and I think it would be far too dangerous to parachute with a NxStage....hehehe) Hell, I think I will do a bungee jump and send that in as possible pic they could add in. I have other activities I could be photographed doing...but they would probably be too pornographic for the dialysis newsletters, hehehe. Might cause *additional* heart problems, hehehe.

What would you like to be photographed doing to demonstrate how you're "coping" with dialysis?


Michelle ~ Treasure   <~~~~~~ twisted, yes, but that's a good thing!

[angieskidney]

I have to be truthful.  I LOVE this message board.   When I return to my island to have my pre-dialysis care I am going to tell the doctors and nurses about this message board.  They need to read it.  That might save me ( a high school and college teacher) from having to answer those kind of patronizing questions.  However, I do think that the guys at our centre (British spelling) are not like that.  A doctor there is the friend of a friend and she has treated me as an adult

I just read this now. I think some of my nurses automatically think that I am bad with my diet just because I am one of the youngest (33 but they OFTEN think I am under the age of 25 and treat me like it!) even though I am proud to say that my blood work has been perfect for FOUR months now!

I wish they wouldn't steriotype so much ...

[Epoman]

Oooh, another good topic. Hopefully, there's not a limit to how many times you can post in one day. If there is, ooops! sorry!

I haven't seen a Davita newsletter, but I have seen a bunch of other newsletters for patients. If I have to read one more "Roses are red..." poem by a patient, I'll scream.

But what bugs me most, is the dialysis patient pictures up in the waiting room. I wish there could be more diversity in the pics they display. No, I don't mean racial diversity. I mean, just once or twice, throw in a pic of someone who isn't 100 years old. One pic in my center is of an elderly man, who's so compliant, that he can go fishing  or gardening...or something like that. I am happy for him...very truly.  But that's not very inspirational to someone like me. I want to see a pic of someone doing PD while jumping out of an airplane (I thought about it, and I think it would be far too dangerous to parachute with a NxStage....hehehe) Hell, I think I will do a bungee jump and send that in as possible pic they could add in. I have other activities I could be photographed doing...but they would probably be too pornographic for the dialysis newsletters, hehehe. Might cause *additional* heart problems, hehehe.

What would you like to be photographed doing to demonstrate how you're "coping" with dialysis?


Michelle ~ Treasure   <~~~~~~ twisted, yes, but that's a good thing!

No, there is no limit of the amount of daily posts, but in your case you MUST post at LEAST 10 posts every day.  I love your posts.

God I to used to hate seeing all the patients pictures in the waiting room, they took our picture sitting in the machine while on dialysis and they added little comments under everyones pictures like "likes to do..." I was so tempted to add things like..... oh nevermind I don't want to give people the wrong impression of me.  but think about it for a second and you will come up with some ideas I'm sure. 

By the way have you met "Rerun" yet, I am sure you two will hit it off. AND with this comment you made:

I have other activities I could be photographed doing...but they would probably be too pornographic for the dialysis newsletters, hehehe. Might cause *additional* heart problems, hehehe.

I'm sure you and "goofynina" will hit it off BIG TIME. 

- Epoman

[okarol]

I haven't seen a Davita newsletter, but I have seen a bunch of other newsletters for patients. If I have to read one more "Roses are red..." poem by a patient, I'll scream.


Michelle ~ Treasure   <~~~~~~ twisted, yes, but that's a good thing!

Arteries are red,
Veins are blue,
...................
....................

can't finish it.

[angieskidney]

Arteries are red,
Veins are blue,
...................
....................

can't finish it.

Arteries are red,
Veins are blue,
I hate living without any kidney
Do you think you could too?

[kitkatz]

Arteries are red
veins are blue
without the dialysis machine
what's a girl to do?

[okarol]

Arteries are red,
Veins are blue,
ihatedialysis.com,
Til a kidney comes through.

[Fighter]

Arteries are red,
Veins are blue,
If DaVita burns,
My wish will have come true.

[angieskidney]

That reminds me ... wasn't there gonna be an IHD book? These would be perfect for it!! 

[zekewolfy]

I know this is an older post and I am a Newbie. But i just couldn't resist!!!

I see that newsletter in the lobby of my clinic, read it and want to vomit.
I really want to BOP Hope in the head and stick 2 15 inch needles in her arse!

This Davita crap is really tiring, I have 2 degrees and these jerks address me like I'm 3 years old.

OH how I despise this racket

[goofynina]

I know this is an older post and I am a Newbie. But i just couldn't resist!!!

I see that newsletter in the lobby of my clinic, read it and want to vomit.
I really want to BOP Hope in the head and stick 2 15 inch needles in her arse!

This Davita crap is really tiring, I have 2 degrees and these jerks address me like I'm 3 years old.

OH how I despise this racket

Zekewolfy, you and Epoman should get together and compare notes, lol,  you two (and i am sure many others) have so much in common when it comes to "Duhvita" 

[jedimaster]

Couldn't agree more. Is very hard to make the doctor/nurse team to treat you as an individual and not as "another one" or, worse. as a child.

[Epoman]

I know this is an older post and I am a Newbie. But i just couldn't resist!!!

I see that newsletter in the lobby of my clinic, read it and want to vomit.
I really want to BOP Hope in the head and stick 2 15 inch needles in her arse!

This Davita crap is really tiring, I have 2 degrees and these jerks address me like I'm 3 years old.

OH how I despise this racket

See, I knew I would like you from your introduction thread. 

"I really want to BOP Hope in the head and stick 2 15 inch needles in her arse!"

Man that is signature line material.  LOL, her "ARSE" 

- Epoman

[Triker]

So Davita has this monthly newsletter called "Life Lines" And the first article is always some made up story about two patients named:

Mr. Neg A Tiv
Ms. Hope Springs Eternal

and

The dietician named:

Ms. Dee Vita

 

The first article is missing the cartoon characters. It's like a children's comic book. Some of the recipes are good though.

[Kitsune]

Fresenius is worse. They put a little comic insert in their newsletter called "Captain Binder", who is the supposed "champion of dialysis patients everywhere", bursting in on private meetings between patients and staff that are none of his stinking business to remind them to take their phosporous binders. Isn't that a breach of patient confidientiality rights or something? Dammit, we're not four, we already know we have to take our binders without being told by some half-assed Captain America wanna-be. This would be great for a pediatric center but for centers where most patients are over 21, this is insulting and demeaning! I didn't go to college to read this crud. If you want to present the facts to adults, do it in a fact-based manner and not with cutesy litle characters (Al Bumin, Captain Binder, Dialysis Dave, etc.) No one likes them, and the one person at our center who might get something out of it can't even read as he is profoundly mentally challenged with the mental/reading level of a six year old child.

[bdpoe]

For the most part, I find newsletters and kidney Mags useless rags.
AAKP being the worst unless you are affluent.

So I'm not surprised that dialysis chains publish their own propaganda
like lipstick on a pig!

What they should write is that if you have suffered economic catastrophe
because of your ESRD, you are basically screwed and we are for the most part
just pretending to care about you. We are in it for the money.

Oh and don't forget to take your binders.

[Kitsune]

For the most part, I find newsletters and kidney Mags useless rags.
AAKP being the worst unless you are affluent.

So I'm not surprised that dialysis chains publish their own propaganda
like lipstick on a pig!

What they should write is that if you have suffered economic catastrophe
because of your ESRD, you are basically screwed and we are for the most part
just pretending to care about you. We are in it for the money.

Oh and don't forget to take your binders.

But, we're so simple we should think they do. I mean, the one pretty much useless tech sits there and snidely says "You're welcome" in this snotty voice like she's doing me such a wonderful favor. Poor widdle baby, they don't pay her enough If the stupid woman hates her job so much, she should find another job.