how long can one live on dialysis?

[goofynina]

The Serenity Prayer
  God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

 

[Hephs-little-lady]

Goofynina, thank you for posting that this morning, I really needed to read something encouraging like that today. It really cheered me up, well, made me want to cry, but in a good way! 

[Bajanne]

The Serenity Prayer
  God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr
 

AMEN AND AMEN!!!!

[angieskidney]

How about "I met my fiance and got my degree despite kidney failure"  DESPITE this F**ing disease that has ruined my whole life!

You know .. you got a point there. I was going to say I only met Sandman because of kidney disease because in all honesty .. if I didn't lose my transplant I would still have been working at my old better job I had for 9 years, I would have gotten the promotion I was guaranteed if I didn't have to turn it down when my transplant failed, and I still would have been working 12-hr shifts too busy to get a computer or the net (I didn't get a computer until I had all this time on my hands) .. but who knows .. maybe I still would have met Jeff despite it all even if I didn't have kidney disease if it was meant to be. Who knows .. we can't say. The main point is that we have to just live our life to the best and NOT LET KIDNEY DISEASE HOLD US BACK! I mean .. yeah look at Epoman! How successful his site is? Or look at Lori Hartwell who was on hemodialysis when she was only 2 years old and yet now gives talks at kidney symposiums all over North America (Canada and the United States of America!) and used to pay for Jamie to do Magic shows all over North America, or speaking of Jamie, he loved to do magic shows and got the chance to travel all over North America to do what he loved best! Sure Jamie is not with us any more but that brings about another very valid point! We can't just sit on our asses feeling sorry for ourselves! We must live like we have no tomorrow, LIVE despite our disease and be glad that at least it is kidney and not lung or heart! We can still live and we can't let it stop us! Yes, we have had it hard but look how many other things people have had go wrong and despite it all the get passed it and keep on living and not just surviving! We can get mad at what others say because we do NOT agree with it but who says we have to be in total agreement of every perspective everyone else has in life? Who cares? Life is too short to squabble over other's opinions! As anyone going through kidney disease knows, every day can be a battle but somehow we make it don't we? I am glad I have met all the people I have during my journey through kidney disease but I am sure I would be glad to meet all the people I would have met if I had been 100% healthy as well! But the only life I know is the one I am living and so I can only be grateful for the life I know. I am glad I met Sandman as he is the one I want to marry. I am 32 and have never been married because it takes a special man and I have never had kids because I believe in marriage before starting a family. My mom has had it hard and wishes her mother didn't die of cancer when my mom was only 17 and my dad wishes that his dad didn't die when he was only a little boy. We all have regrets (mostly wishing we didn't have kidney disease) but we can't change that now can we? All I have to say is one thing (while keeping this on topic) .... how long can one live on dialysis? As long as we keep on fighting and never give up and live life to the fullest!

When I lost my transplant I honestly felt like my dreams just were swept down the drain! I had soooo many plans and was even putting my doctor appointments on the back burner til I could get that promotion. I had plans damnit!! How could this happen to me?!?!? I was guaranteed that promotion and was supposed to go the same path as my friend Javier! I was supposed to be able to get a raise, a better position, benefits, be able to buy a house so I wouldn't have to worry any more and could do at home dialysis, be able to buy a car that won't break down so I could drive to London Ontario where the closes transplant hospital was! Or even move to London and buy a house! Transfer to the plant in London and be in charge of my own division like Javier did! I had dreams damnit!! And I lost the transplant just a bit to early!! NOOOOOOOOO!!! WHY ME!?!?!?!?

But here I am 5 years later. I some how am still okay. I am not fighting for my life! I am LIVING MY LIFE!!

[Mom3]

When I was diagnosed with my PKD I was ecstatic. Seriously ecstatic. The nephrologist absolutely did not understand. He said I really don't think you understand what I'm telling you here. Your kidneys will probably fail. Looking at your ultrasound, I'd give you maybe five years before dialysis (that was nine years ago!)

I looked at him and said. "You don't understand...My gynecologist told me he thought I had liver cancer. I've been making funeral plans.... Who would take care of my son?"

I think we have to give our lives purpose. That is our responsibility, whatever our circumstances. My son does it by being a good friend (in my opinion sometimes too good a friend, but that's another rant!) and by being so caring to older and "sicker" people. He is a person of tremendous compassion. The older patients at his old clinic really hated to see him move, and his first day at his new clinic, he saw an elderly woman he had been in the hospital with and immediately began talking to her. I could tell she loved it!) He was the mainstay of an older unrelated neighbor until she died, despite his being on dialysis...

I also think that almost no one gets out of life without a lot of suffering. The suffering takes different forms for different people, and happens at different phases of their lives, but all suffer, and in my experience, physical suffering is far from the worst kind.

Do you think you might be having one of those "dialysis moods", Rerun? I think Rerun is needing a big group hug! And let's hope she gets past it by the time she is interviewed...


And if my son had not gotten sick, Angie, I would have gone on to graduate school... Perhaps I should have anyway, but I chose to make him my first priority...This disease has clearly impacted a lot of people's lives but like Epoman so many find purposes, large and small.

Mom 3

[angieskidney]

The Serenity Prayer
  God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

 

I didn't realize there was a whole 3rd page before I posted (wow going to sleep at a normal time made me miss a whole new page of posts??) But I just wanted to say that this post was perfect! Thank you! I really have to get this on my wall to remind me Thx

[slothluvchunk]

There are basically two types of people in the world.

Those with character and those without.  Unfortunately the vast majority of the world falls into the latter classification.  The few in the first group though understand that life goes beyond our diaphragm's ability to create a vacuum in our chest, and beyond our heart's ability to pump blood through our veins so that we can profuse.  They understand that life goes way beyond that. 
They also understand though, that we have sole responsibility over what we do in this life.
Disease isn't easy - nor is working around it to create a life that is suitable for you.

ESRD hasn't robbed me of my life, it has given me the rare chance to learn one of life's biggest, and most important lessons.
Can I for one minute get away from ME ME ME ME ME and look at what's around? 
I am not the most important thing in my life - and anyone who disagrees with that statement falls into the latter category we discussed earlier. 
My life is not defined by my ability to physically participate in it
it is not defined by how convenient my day to day actions are for ME and MY TIME
It is not about me...

in the end it is about others.


We all like to bitch and moan sometimes, and that's fine.  We can't change how we feel about things - but we can (and should) be aware of how we react to those feelings, and how we choose to act on them.
This is not pointed at this exchange, but is a reminder to us all.

I am sorry to hear Rerun, that you lost your life because of all of this.  I am sorry for the grief that you've been through, and continue to go through.  I really am.
No big "but" coming either.

Remember, it's not about me and what I want to say - it's about whether or not I can get beyond myself long enough to hear what you're saying.
Sorry things have been tough for you, and I hope you'll choose to move forward in your life.

[angieskidney]

There are basically two types of people in the world.

Those with character and those without.  ...Remember, it's not about me and what I want to say - it's about whether or not I can get beyond myself long enough to hear what you're saying.
Sorry things have been tough for you, and I hope you'll choose to move forward in your life.

Everything you said is good advice.

[Rerun]

Thanks, I admit I had a bad day.  Attended a funeral of an 18 year old girl and was asking God why he didn't just take me and leave Lauren alone.

My poem:

If you love something set it free,
If it comes back it is yours,
If it doesn't, track it down and kill it.

[Joe Paul]

My poem:

If you love something set it free,
If it comes back it is yours,
If it doesn't, track it down and kill it.

Thats a great poem Rerun 

[Panda_9]

Im sorry that you are having a hard time rerun, so are most of us probably. That doesnt make it ok to make offensive comments about things you know nothing about.

[Rerun]

Not only is it "alright" to say what I feel, but that is what this forum is for.  It is to tell the truth.  And I'm not going to sit by on "ihatedislysis.com" and listen to why you are "thankful" to be on dialysis and how grateful you are because that is how you met your fiance .  OMG that is just lame!

I'm not telling anyone how to feel, I'm just saying what "most people" probably thought when they read that post.  That's all.  I let a LOT of posts go and just gag and go on.  But, I couldn't this time.   

I've made a really nice friend of a 70 year old woman who can't drive anymore so I go get her and take her around.  She is on dialysis.  So, YES, I live in the present, but I am NO WAY thinking GOD gave me kidney failure so I could drive this old gal around.  SHE could get a taxi and I could be flying somewhere to a meeting!

Don't EVER tell me not to say or do something.  In doing so, you need to take your own advice.

[angieskidney]

Not only is it "alright" to say what I feel, but that is what this forum is for.  It is to tell the truth.  And I'm not going to sit by on "ihatedislysis.com" and listen to why you are "thankful" to be on dialysis and how grateful you are because that is how you met your fiance .  OMG that is just lame!

I'm not telling anyone how to feel, I'm just saying what "most people" probably thought when they read that post.  That's all.  I let a LOT of posts go and just gag and go on.  But, I couldn't this time.   

I've made a really nice friend of a 70 year old woman who can't drive anymore so I go get her and take her around.  She is on dialysis.  So, YES, I live in the present, but I am NO WAY thinking GOD gave me kidney failure so I could drive this old gal around.  SHE could get a taxi and I could be flying somewhere to a meeting!

Don't EVER tell me not to say or do something.  In doing so, you need to take your own advice.

Exactly! Even though I can understand how everyone feels, I have gotten the impression from Epoman that this is the perfect place to speak your mind and that no one should be able to say you can't say this or that! Everyone on dialysis feels like crap and things in our life are not exactly what anyone could be joyous about. I don't believe God gives ANYONE kidney disease. I was just trying to find the silver lining. But I am glad when I see that people can vent and speak their mind. It encourages me to open up and speak my mind even when others have tried to get me to change posts.

I still remember what Epoman said here:

Yes! DO NOT EDIT your posts just to make another member happy.

It is important to remember, not everyone will agree with what you say or how you feel but who cares? You have every right to feel exactly how you feel! No one should invalidate your feelings! They are a natural result of your life as it is! And we all share in that life! That is why this forum brings us all together! That is why I am here! I don't feel alone here. Sure, at times I feel like I don't belong in the "inner circle of IHD" but still .. you guys understand the daily lives of any dialysis patient more than any of my friends or even my family!

I hope that people become more understanding of each of our moodiness and are more accepting of different posts which express any negativity in any way! After all ... it is normal with our lives. We shouldn't be made to feel bad for our feelings or our posts!

I know I am enjoying reading everything in how honestly it is written! We shouldn't have to recheck ourself. I think that is why I was originally against the spell check even though I must admit it helps me. This is a really good site and I would hope for more acceptance of people's posts even on their "down days".

I hope this makes sense .. I am lacking sleep right now ... 

[Padster]

Don't back down Rerun. You are entitled to your opinion, and because this is a KIDNEY forum, your thoughts are no less valid than anyone elses. Yes, we should be thankful for the dialysis machine and to the guy who invented it, for without it we would be worm food. But, lets not pretend that given the choice we would all take this 'path' because we wouldn't. I would rather have a healthy kidney (just one would do, I am not greedy) and I would love a natural human hip made out of my own bone, instead of this metal thing that feels totally alien to me.

I agree though, that acceptance is the only way forward, as hard as it is. I haven't found true acceptance yet, but I hope I am getting there. There is no real alternative anyway.

[Rerun]

Don't back down Rerun. You are entitled to your opinion, and because this is a KIDNEY forum, your thoughts are no less valid than anyone elses. Yes, we should be thankful for the dialysis machine and to the guy who invented it, for without it we would be worm food. But, lets not pretend that given the choice we would all take this 'path' because we wouldn't. I would rather have a healthy kidney (just one would do, I am not greedy) and I would love a natural human hip made out of my own bone, instead of this metal thing that feels totally alien to me.

I agree though, that acceptance is the only way forward, as hard as it is. I haven't found true acceptance yet, but I hope I am getting there. There is no real alternative anyway.

At least Padster knows what I'm trying to say.   

[Epoman]

Don't back down Rerun. You are entitled to your opinion, and because this is a KIDNEY forum, your thoughts are no less valid than anyone else's. Yes, we should be thankful for the dialysis machine and to the guy who invented it, for without it we would be worm food. But, lets not pretend that given the choice we would all take this 'path' because we wouldn't. I would rather have a healthy kidney (just one would do, I am not greedy) and I would love a natural human hip made out of my own bone, instead of this metal thing that feels totally alien to me.

I agree though, that acceptance is the only way forward, as hard as it is. I haven't found true acceptance yet, but I hope I am getting there. There is no real alternative anyway.

At least Padster knows what I'm trying to say.   

I understand to, and he is right. You can say what ever you want in this forum, speak your mind, say how you feel. Of course I'd rather be a executive at a corporation, but I was just saying how running this site and helping others has given me a purpose in life (besides my family) that I have been lacking, I do not believe GOD gave me this disease, BUT I do believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason, even if it seems horrible at the time, for example Rerun, remember when I told you the story about how my wife got this WONDERFUL career AFTER and only because I broke both of my hips. Well I can honestly say it changed my life for the better, and I would break my hips all over again if it meant my wife would have this same career again.

Believe me rerun, I understand where you are coming from, but instead of me sitting around feeling sorry for myself like I had been for years, I said p*ck THIS, I'm starting a support site, I'm getting away from DUH-Vita, I'm doing daily hemo I want to live longer, and now I have completed 3 of my goals, now I have 3 new goals to look forward to on the horizon.

But like I have told others rerun, you do not have to defend yourself. SPEAK FROM THE HEART, positive OR negative. And never edit a post you created to please another member. 

[angieskidney]

Amen!!

[kitkatz]

Rerun, I agree with you.  I have felt they way you do.  Dialysis and kidney failure suck.  They suck big time.  My life is not better because of dialysis, it is only longer.

Katherine

[angieskidney]

I find what is harder than the dialysis is the people around me especially at work who don't understand and actually make things harder on me.  If it was not for dialysis I would tell them they can shove this job and I would be in a job I was trained for in College instead of one with flexable hours that disrespects me.

[Panda_9]

OMG can you get any more nasty? I dont even want to talk to any of you.

[goofynina]

Amber, who are you referring to??

[Epoman]

Amber, who are you referring to??

Yeah, who are you referring to?

[Panda_9]

I am offended by everyone who has agreed that what rerun said to me was alright to say.

Rerun, if you don't want people telling you what to say or do, then I suggest you don't tell people what to say. Don't tell me not to settle, and don't tell me what I could and couldn't of done, or how to say things. Debate with me all you want, but I don't appreciate nasty comments about my private life. Telling me not to settle because I'm sick is a load of shit. This is not the first relationship Ive had, and I am more than ready to settle, sick or not. And FYI, he is a hunk to me, I don't give a rats what anyone else thinks. After all the things Ive been through with this illness, all of which is new to my fiance, I am glad he is still with me.

[sandman]

I can agree with you amber, that rerun did get a little to offensive with some of her remarks and comments for my tastes.  But I think im going to bow out of this one because I have a feeling major trouble is brewing and I am not getting caught in that crossfire.

[Epoman]

I am offended by everyone who has agreed that what rerun said to me was alright to say.

Rerun, if you don't want people telling you what to say or do, then I suggest you don't tell people what to say. Don't tell me not to settle, and don't tell me what I could and couldn't of done, or how to say things. Debate with me all you want, but I don't appreciate nasty comments about my private life. Telling me not to settle because I'm sick is a load of shit. This is not the first relationship Ive had, and I am more than ready to settle, sick or not. And FYI, he is a hunk to me, I don't give a rats what anyone else thinks. After all the things Ive been through with this illness, all of which is new to my fiance, I am glad he is still with me.

aMber_79,

I'm sure Rerun did not say those things to try to hurt you, rerun is not that way. As you are well aware emotions are lost in a text post on the internet. I was not condoning what she said, I was condoning her being allowed to express herself and as long as members do not get into a name calling flame war then it is ok. As you know we all have our good days and our bad days, well I think rerun was having one of those bad days.