I'm a dialysis wife

[petey]

Hey, all!  I'm Marvin's wife and his dialysis partner.  Marvin found this site a couple of months ago, and he's been reading/sharing stuff from here with me.  I saw there was a section for spouses/partners, and Marvin said I should get my own login for this site so I could put my  in.  It took a while (and the brains of Hawkeye, willieandwinnie, and that mastermind Sluff  to get me in), but I'm now in!

We've been married for 22 years, but Marvin and I have been together on his ESRD journey for the last 13 years.  He started on hemo (in center) in 1995.  He tried PD, and I trained with him for that, but it didn't work for him (one kinked cath and then peritonitis).  He stayed on in-center hemo for 5 and a half years.  I gave him one of my kidneys (open surgery -- big scar) the day before our 14th wedding anniversary.  That lasted for three years and three months before the transplanted kidney caught the same disease that destroyed his original kidneys (IGA nephropathy).  He went back on in-center hemo in October of 2003 and back on the waiting list.  We trained for home hemo this past summer, and we're currently using NxStage.  We both like it a lot, but it does take a lot of time.  We think it's worth it.

I know the whole ESRD and dialysis thing is rough on the patients, but sometimes it gets tough on the spouses/partners, too.  I always try to be brave and optimistic in front of Marvin (I never, never cry in front of him in times of crisis -- no matter how bad it seems), but sometimes when I get by myself, I do break down a little.  I hope this site will be a place where I can share, cry, and vent because most of my friends and family really have no idea what we're going through.  Oh, they're attentive, interested, concerned, loving, and all that stuff, but you never really know what's it like until you've "walked a mile in our shoes."  You guys know what I'm talking about!

I'm so glad to be in a place (IHD) where I feel like I belong.

[boxman55]

Welcome petey, God bless you for being there...Boxman

[willieandwinnie]

petey,

So glad you joined us. I am/was the caregiver. My husband got a transplant 9/7. I know what you mean about crying, I use to get in the shower and bawl. I never wanted to let Len know that some days I was just upset. You have a lot of reading to do. IHD is better then family. Everyone here understands what everyone is going through and offers support and opinions. Take care and Welcome aboard.

[bolta72]

Glad to see you made it in    

[Sluff]

Welcome Petey,

That was pretty painless now wasn't it? Glad you made it and I hope you enjoy your visits and gain friendships, knowledge and above all the best way to help and you and Marvin understand things from both point of views.

Sluff/ Admin

[Romona]

 

[Joe Paul]

Welcome  Petey, good to have you aboard.

[kitkatz]

Welcome. Great to have you aboard.



kitkatz,moderator

[goofynina]

Hi Petey, Welcome to ihatedialysis.com    Looking forward to all you can share with us.   You've come to a great place for information and support    Looking foward to hearing more from you. 


Goofynina/Admin.

[Bajanne]

Welcome to our community!  it is always a very precious sign when a loved one joins us.  As you have learnt, IHD is now a genuine family, so we are always open to new members.  Please continue to post and take advantage of all the site has to offer. 

[MyssAnne]

Welcome, Petey!!

SO glad you finally got in!!! 

You caregivers mean so much to us.  I am single, but my fiancee takes care of me when
I need it, and I do have a family I report to every day. Or else!!  I don't take it as being
dominated, all they want is a quick email, yes I am at work, and am okay. That's it!  If I don't
I get emails/calls...WHERE ARE YOU?

So, you caregivers can be obtrustive and pushy, but WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

[2_DallasCowboys]

Hi,Petey!  Welcome!

I am also a "dialysis  wife" - my
husband Les has been on dialysis
since 3/31/06.  His kidney failure
happened quickly, resulting from
heart bypass surgery the month
before.
This site is  wonderful-the best people,
and so much helpful information- and
most of all, I think,  a very strong support
system.   
Please visit often and let us know how everything
is going.
Anne

[Ken Shelmerdine]

 

[KR Cincy]

 
Marvin is lucky to have you as many of us are lucky to have amazing spouses as well.
The journey is hard...but it's worth it if you're with someone you love!

[keefer51]

 

[Hawkeye]

Hello and 

Glad you got into the site ok.

[del]

Welcome I am a dialysis wife too.  Hubby has been on dialysis since Aug. 1997.  We trained for home hemo in Oct. 06.  It is a whole lot better than having to travel to in center.  We use a fresenius machine. Nxstage is not available in Canada

[Ang]

welcome  aboard,glad  to  hear  you  got  in  ok

[oswald]

 

[kimcanada]

 

[donnia]

Welcome Petey!

[Black]

Welcome from another NxStage wife.  I can soooo identify with you.  There are days that all I can do is, just get through it, and then I feel guilty because I know it's worse for him because he's the one on dialysis

[lola]

  IHD and the shower are my God send I to am a wife of pt and IHD has gotten me through some pretty dark days

[Lori1851]

 
Glad to have you aboard!! Know what ya mean about not crying in front of them. I have a son 22 on dialysis due to FSGS. I found myself crying today driving to go see my aunt in the hospital. I have days just like you so you are not alone
Lori/Indiana

[paris]

  This is the best place for you to be. It is a wonderful group and I lean on everyone here for so much support.  I am the one with kidney failure, but I also the one who never--never cries in front of anyone.  Late at night, when I am all alone- that is when I cry.   So, come here and we will all cry together!! And then we will laugh together!  Glad you joined our family