Ignorant things people have said to you

[jbeany]

I always tell them it's because I'm not in uniform.

[Joe]

I had an xray tech tell me I did not look like a dialysis patient.

I also hear that a lot - I offer to show them my catheter...

[MomoMcSleepy]

Last Friday I was talking to a nurse about being a dialysis/transplant patient. He was very interested and kind, and as we ended the conversation he said, "Well hopefully that will be able to grow one out of your own cells someday." When the stupid case manager and dietician chimed in and said, "uummm I don't know...that is stepping on God's turf. I don't know if they will be able to do that since it was created by God. etc..."

.......

 People are ass hats!

xo,
R

lol, yes, yes they are.  How is hooking people up to dialysis, or even just giving them antibiotics "stepping on God's turf?"
sheesh, nice case manager you've  got there...

[nanadar]

I had a co-worker ask me " so how long do you have to do this for... a week or 2 weeks ?"   DUH... the rest of my life you moron. It's NOT a cold that I will "get over soon".

[Annig83]

Today, I went for about a 2 mile walk with my son.  I live off a busy street in Indianapolis.  3x I had young teenagers yell out their windows at me to lose some F-ing weight!  It wouldn't have bothered me so much normally, but my confidence has been down lately.  My doctor wants me to lose 30 lbs and I thought I was doing something good for myself?  What A**HOLES.  If those jerks only knew what I go through everyday... ugh I wanted to punch them in the face!

[jbeany]

I find the fastest way to shut up teenager boys being rude is to tell them that with that attitude, they're never gonna get laid.  (Worked wonders with my mouthy nephew!)

[sarahmanda]

A guy that worked with my best friend had come over one night with a bunch of their co-workers and he was kind of hitting on me, then he spotted my arm and my alien eggs (what I call my fistula, haha) and asked me point blank "Whoa, do you shoot up?" after I had already explained to him that I didn't really drink and have never done drugs. Oh and he asked me if I was pregnant (I'm a bigger girl)...so sweet of him...and after his super polite comments he still asked me if I would go out with him. Whatever/

[cariad]

Today, I went for about a 2 mile walk with my son.  I live off a busy street in Indianapolis.  3x I had young teenagers yell out their windows at me to lose some F-ing weight!  It wouldn't have bothered me so much normally, but my confidence has been down lately.  My doctor wants me to lose 30 lbs and I thought I was doing something good for myself?  What A**HOLES.  If those jerks only knew what I go through everyday... ugh I wanted to punch them in the face!

Oh, Annie. Not fun to deal with obnoxious little cretins.

What I would do in Milwaukee might work in your area depending on laws and what sort of police force you have. If it happens again, write down the addresses and then call the non-emergency number for the police and say you have a nuisance complaint and want the house issued a ticket. In Milwaukee, because it is such a college town, not only do the police HAVE to give an expensive ticket to the property if it is requested for certain violations, but they are not allowed to disclose who called in the complaint. If the people at the house want to know, they must contest the ticket in court in front of a judge. The police do not need to witness the violation either.

In Milwaukee, you need an address in order to register such a complaint. When Gwyn and I lived closer to campus, we routinely phoned in noise complaints. Homeowners used to walk around at night collecting addresses. One night a drunken idiot shouted down to Gwyn "We're at [the exact address], a-hole!" Two women who were out on the balcony with the person clamped their hands over his mouth and dragged him inside. The police not only responded but when I said I did not think my husband should ever be talked to that way, the policeman said 'oh, I agree with you!' You don't always get such nice ones, but we lucked out that night. The drunk individual must have dug a bigger hole for himself, because the police followed up with us and said that they could not give us details, but there had been an arrest.

If you get a nice cop to help, and especially if this is a repeated problem, they will probably go to the house just to scare some sense into the boys. (I assume these were all boys?) I would not hesitate to pour on the drama, too. "I am a mom doing the best I can even though I've got a terminal illness, and my doctor told me that I need to get some exercise and lose weight in order to qualify for an organ transplant. Walking is all I can manage. I think I have the right to walk down the streets of America unmolested, don't you?"

When I was in school our gym teacher was one of these women who wanted to teach us girls to stand up for ourselves. Can't say I learned a lot athletically from her, but I do remember her telling us that she used to go jogging every day past a construction site and all the men would catcall and make fools of themselves. She called up the construction company and told them "I am in a sorority at the local university. If this doesn't stop, I will have 300 women picketing your site tomorrow morning." The next day she jogged by and was met with complete silence. (And the sorority story was all a superb bluff.)

[Annig83]

Thanks guys.  Cariad- I would love to report them... unfortunately they were in cars... would it work for the license plates?  Next time, I'll be sure to bring a pad and paper with me.  People can be so mean. 

[cariad]

Aaaaah, cars! Of course. The true coward's way.

In that case, I think you just have to accept that it happens to all of us. Gwyn and I were walking in Ann Arbor once and someone threw a lit cigarette at Gwyn and it left a mark on his very expensive suede coat. I have to think these people have miserable lives if this is what passes for fun. Don't let them intimidate you out of enjoying whatever exercise you choose.

[rsudock]

wow...I read through this page of replies...man oh man....teenagers yelling at people to lose weight, asshole dates, & people who are just generally uninformed about what dialysis entails....

hang in there peeps....

xo,
R

[MooseMom]

You know, I can understand people being ignorant out of being uninformed.  There is no real reason for the average person to know anything about dialysis, so if someone wonders if it only takes about a month or so for dialysis to cure you, well, I take the opportunity to educate and inform.  There's a lot of stuff that I don't know because I don't have to know it, but that doesn't make me stupid; it just makes me uninformed. 

But being cruel is a whole 'nuther thing.  I can't stand that.  Bullying and just being generally unkind is the one thing that I just will not tolerate nor excuse. I do not understand the mindset of people who are randomly unkind.

[kitkatz]

I had some guy make a comment to me about my weight in a Baskin Robbins Ice Cream Shop.  I did not hear him, so asked him to repeat himself, and asked him again when I did not hear him. He said never mind.   I guess repeating himself was embarrassing.


Besides what gives anyone a right to say anything to anyone about weight or appearance?  They do not know anything about you or your life and challenges or victories.   

[gothiclovemonkey]

As you guys probably know I'm a big girl,and when I was pregnant I was eyeballing some sweet looking pastry in line st the grocery.when an old guy told me that I don't. Need those. I didn't want them but it kinds idled me but I smiled and said I know...
some people think the worst of big people.  I prefer salads and veggies over all else,but to lookat me you wouldn't think so.

[YLGuy]

I know this has been posted but I am soooooo tired of people telling me that I do not look sick.  I had 2 more people tell me that in church today.  I informed them that I have spent the last 2 weekends in the hospital as I ran a fever for 23 nights and had a temporary stroke. Response: Oh, well you look great!

[Whamo]

YI Guy,   That is the worst!  I hate it when people say I look great.  I have conjestive heart failure, advanced liver disease (HEP C), and kidney failure.  I have good days, but I have had a lot of really bad days.  I struggle to keep as healthy as I can.  One thing that helps is Quinogel, a bio-available form of Co!10, that's great for folks like me that are over 50.  I also hit the treadmill about six days a week.  But dialysis seems to suck the life right out of me sometimes.  It's a constant battle to keep kicking.

[MooseMom]

I dunno, I kinda feel the opposite.  Every single medical provider I've seen has told me how good I look despite everything, and I am thankful for that.  I may BE sick, but I don't want to LOOK sick, too.  It makes me feel that my efforts to keep myself healthy are paying off.

[big777bill]

 Moosemom what you said reminds me of a quote by Ricaldo Montelbond on, I believe, The Johnny Carson Show. He said "I would rather be sick than look sick", lol. And they say "vanity thy name is woman".

[MooseMom]

And they say "vanity thy name is woman".

LOL!  I'm old enough to know there's a difference between someone telling me I'm looking good despite having crap kidneys and someone telling me I'm good looking.  Sooooo not the same thing.

[big777bill]

It was Fernando Lamas not Ricardo M.  My memory is shot but It did come to me finally.lol He died not too terrible long after saying it.

[MooseMom]

It was Fernando Lamas not Ricardo M.  My memory is shot but It did come to me finally.lol He died not too terrible long after saying it.

You know, I DO remember that!  And Billy Crystal on Saturday Night Live used to do a parody of him...."You look maaaaahvahlus!"

[big777bill]

 That's the one! We're showing our age now.

[MooseMom]

That's the one! We're showing our age now.

Dunno about you, but I'm only 29.  My grey hair isn't real.

[amanda100wilson]

Oh, I had a classic one today.  I went into a herbal shop  to buy a vitamin and in talking about it, I mentioned that I was on dialysis.  The woman then tells me that she is a nutritionist which always raises,a red flag because any nutritionist that I've ever come across has always made ludicrous comments about kidney failure and/or what I should eat (normally, the advice is for things that I shouldn't eat).  Well, I wasn't disappointed because she then tells me that it's a shame I hadn't  come to her shope earlier then maybe dialysis could have been prevented!  Well, she is at least 23 years too late, and given my strong British accent, it may have been a rather long journey to have made 23 years ago to seek her advice!!!!

Inside I'm pretty p***** but I recognise that she is well intentioned, and as usual I feel obliged not to make the other person feel bad about the crap that they are spouting.  So I mumble something about my condition being terminal and that nothing could have,prevented it anyway.  I wish that I could just come straight out and tell people like this that they are just talking shite and afterwards I feel frustrated that,I didn't have the confidence to educate,them on their knowledge deficits!!!!!!  Grrr!   

[chiromac]

I have scares now on both arms, left elbow for fistula and right forearm (from my wrist to elbow) for my heart surgery.  I had someone ask were I got the cool tattoos, they look really cool.  I took a moment to look at my arms and told him St. Lukes Hospital, but this idiot actually ask "you can get Tattoos at a Hospital."