Ignorant things people have said to you

[sandman]

I will confess to being ignorant (gasp!).    Before all this with Joe, I did not know anything about dialysis, kidney failure, etc.  I don't even remember knowing dialysis existed.  It was just something I had never been exposed to or educated on. 

Same thing here Sara.  I knew very little about kidney disease before I met Angie.  Now it's like I have entered a completely different world.  Rerun is right.  Why would a normal, healthy person want to seek information about something that does not effect them?

[angieskidney]

I will confess to being ignorant (gasp!).    Before all this with Joe, I did not know anything about dialysis, kidney failure, etc.  I don't even remember knowing dialysis existed.  It was just something I had never been exposed to or educated on. 

Well, I'm sure I say stupid things to liver patients or heart patients.  Why would a normal healthy person know about kidney disease?  But, once you are a patient you just get tired of the dumb questions......

exactly but it is more than that. I can handle questions as there are no "dumb" questions .. but it is the ones you explain to over and over again and don't get it that get to me. 

[jbeany]

It's not the questions that bother me.  When someone wants to know about dialysis, or kidney failure, or how to navigate getting disability, I'm glad they asked.  If they don't know anything, I'm glad to share what I do know.  My problem is with the people who don't know anything about it but assume that they know all the answers and solutions - the ones who think cranberry juice and cinnamon sticks will solve all my problems.  Those are the ignorant ones.

[sandman]

I think that in most cases, most people don't really know the difference between acute and chronic kidney failure.  That is what I have been noticing from my co-workers who start asking me questions about my girlfriend Angie.

[jedimaster]

I get the "weight" joke quite a bit....I DO offer my machine to anyone who wants to do dialysis just for fun. The other one I get is "it's just a needle (2)...I donate blood and it's not a big deal....yeah right.
I have a GREAT sense of humor. I can take a joke...but don't tell me that"you should be thankfull that this technology is available now a days...otherwise you would be dead"....I can't take that

[Panda_9]

I get the "weight" joke quite a bit....I DO offer my machine to anyone who wants to do dialysis just for fun. The other one I get is "it's just a needle (2)...I donate blood and it's not a big deal....yeah right.
I have a GREAT sense of humor. I can take a joke...but don't tell me that"you should be thankfull that this technology is available now a days...otherwise you would be dead"....I can't take that

How can they say "Its just a needle" The f&%&$ing needles are only one of the minor parts of being on dialysis!!! Do they give blood 3 times a week for 4-6hrs? And if they dont they will die? Pffft!!!

[angieskidney]

It's not the questions that bother me.  When someone wants to know about dialysis, or kidney failure, or how to navigate getting disability, I'm glad they asked.  If they don't know anything, I'm glad to share what I do know.  My problem is with the people who don't know anything about it but assume that they know all the answers and solutions - the ones who think cranberry juice and cinnamon sticks will solve all my problems.  Those are the ignorant ones.

exactly!!

I get the "weight" joke quite a bit....I DO offer my machine to anyone who wants to do dialysis just for fun. The other one I get is "it's just a needle (2)...I donate blood and it's not a big deal....yeah right.
I have a GREAT sense of humor. I can take a joke...but don't tell me that"you should be thankfull that this technology is available now a days...otherwise you would be dead"....I can't take that

How can they say "Its just a needle" The f&%&$ing needles are only one of the minor parts of being on dialysis!!! Do they give blood 3 times a week for 4-6hrs? And if they dont they will die? Pffft!!!

Ya and those needles are HUGE that we get cannulated with! 

[DeLana]

This is an enlightening thread!  I had no idea what some of you have to listen to. 

- It's fun to be in a wheelchair?!   

- The machine is a great way to lose weight?!     Yes, and so is an amputation.  But maybe they already had one - of their brain...

With the exception of those who ask such inexcusable questions, I think most people are truly interested and want to show their concern and support (at least I hope this is their motivation).  Many people really don't know much about ESRD and dialysis and don't understand the difference between long-term treatment of a chronic condition v. eventual cure; also, maybe they want to believe that dialysis is a cure because if ESRD could happen to you - a coworker, acquaintance - it could also happen to them; and that's a thought too frightening for many to entertain.

I have to admit I have asked patients about the transplant list; I had no idea you're so sick hearing about it.  Usually I would ask transient patients - to make conversation and show an interest - but sometimes even patients in our clinic (we averaged 76-78 pts, and unless you were assigned to a patient as the primary nurse the workload did not allow us to read many charts).   I'll try to get that info from my patients' hospital charts in my upcoming job.

DeLana   

[Fighter]

I had the winner yesterday, I was talking with my sister and one of her friends and explaining I was tired because I took off 5 kilos on dialysis last night.  Next question was how many pounds is that?  I sad about 12lbs and her friend acutally said "How can I get on one of those machines that would be awsome to loose 12lbs in 3 1/2 hours".  AMAZING!!!!!!!!!

I actually remember my Mom and my sister joking during my training that they would love to use dialysis as a way to lose weight (although neither of them is overweight), and then the head nurse answered that if that were possible, he'd be rich!

[meadowlandsnj]

I have to admit I have asked patients about the transplant list; I had no idea you're so sick hearing about it.  Usually I would ask transient patients - to make conversation and show an interest - but sometimes even patients in our clinic (we averaged 76-78 pts, and unless you were assigned to a patient as the primary nurse the workload did not allow us to read many charts).   I'll try to get that info from my patients' hospital charts in my upcoming job.

DeLana   

Don't stop communicating with your patients verbally.  You can only read the cold hard facts in the charts, you can't begin to get to know the PERSON through a chart.  I don't mind questions from people as long as they don't try to tell me how to cure myself with herbal teas and  coffee enemas!  (Yes... someone suggested that to me once)

[AlasdairUK]

I think the difference is between people asking a stupid question just out of not knowing about ESRD and showing an interest and people who think they know how to make our lives better with. `drink more water' or something similar and when you explain why we do not do that they just do not listen or comprehend that more water would be harmful.

I do not mind people asking me stupid questions as long as they are prepared to listen to what I have to say.

[goofynina]

I think the difference is between people asking a stupid question just out of not knowing about ESRD and showing an interest and people who think they know how to make our lives better with. `drink more water' or something similar and when you explain why we do not do that they just do not listen or comprehend that more water would be harmful.

I do not mind people asking me stupid questions as long as they are prepared to listen to what I have to say.

Good point Alasdair!!!   

[DeLana]

I have to admit I have asked patients about the transplant list; I had no idea you're so sick hearing about it.  Usually I would ask transient patients - to make conversation and show an interest - but sometimes even patients in our clinic (we averaged 76-78 pts, and unless you were assigned to a patient as the primary nurse the workload did not allow us to read many charts).   I'll try to get that info from my patients' hospital charts in my upcoming job.

DeLana   

Don't stop communicating with your patients verbally.  You can only read the cold hard facts in the charts, you can't begin to get to know the PERSON through a chart.  I don't mind questions from people as long as they don't try to tell me how to cure myself with herbal teas and  coffee enemas!  (Yes... someone suggested that to me once)

Oh, I wouldn't.  But I'm glad that working in the hospital dialysis unit will give me a chance to look at the chart first so I won't make a major blunder - like ask a pt who is ineligible for transplant due to a rare infection if he's on the transplant list.

DeLana

[Zach]

Just yesterday:  "What do you mean you don't pee?  Where does it go?"
 
I told the person I'm great on long trips!

[alrightstill]

Wow, so many of these things people have said to me!! It's ridiculous!

Some more that I haven't seen mentioned:

Myself a friend, and a friend of hers whom I've never met were on a crowded NYC subway.  I was sitting across from them.  The clueless friend literally YELLS across the friggin' subway: "So wait, you don't pee?  Do you still... you know... poop then?"  I just turned my head and acted like I didn't know her.   

Another one I get -- ALOT is, "Aw, but you're so young!"  --- yea, a-hole, like I don't know that?  I get that one SO often, it irks me.  Even doctors or nurses say it.

And my doctor, whom I've been seeing every month for the past 5 years - every.  single.  visit.  he says "So are you on the list yet?"  WTF man?  YEA!  I'm still on 4 lists.. One of my techs told me he just says that to make sure I'm staying on top of things.. yea.. right.

[DeLana]

Myself a friend, and a friend of hers whom I've never met were on a crowded NYC subway.  I was sitting across from them.  The clueless friend literally YELLS across the friggin' subway: "So wait, you don't pee?  Do you still... you know... poop then?"  I just turned my head and acted like I didn't know her.   

Oh, my - I'm speechless! 

DeLana

[angieskidney]

Myself a friend, and a friend of hers whom I've never met were on a crowded NYC subway.  I was sitting across from them.  The clueless friend literally YELLS across the friggin' subway: "So wait, you don't pee?  Do you still... you know... poop then?"  I just turned my head and acted like I didn't know her.   

Oh, my - I'm speechless! 

DeLana

Ya I have been asked that as well!

[kitkatz]

Myself a friend, and a friend of hers whom I've never met were on a crowded NYC subway.  I was sitting across from them.  The clueless friend literally YELLS across the friggin' subway: "So wait, you don't pee?  Do you still... you know... poop then?"  I just turned my head and acted like I didn't know her.   

Oh, my - I'm speechless! 

DeLana

Ya I have been asked that as well!

You should have offered to poop them a gold brick!

[Bajanne]

Myself a friend, and a friend of hers whom I've never met were on a crowded NYC subway.  I was sitting across from them.  The clueless friend literally YELLS across the friggin' subway: "So wait, you don't pee?  Do you still... you know... poop then?"  I just turned my head and acted like I didn't know her.   

Oh, my - I'm speechless! 

DeLana

Ya I have been asked that as well!

You should have offered to poop them a gold brick!

Kitkatz, you nearly killed me.    I am looking at this in a classroom in our community college.  A class next door is having a test.  When I read that, I laughed out so loud!!!

[kitkatz]

And the funniest part is...you couldn't share it with anyone!!!  Right Bajanne?

[Treasure]

Oh, I don't know if this qualifies as ignorant...and I'm not really trying to offend anyone...and this was said to my husband (not me) by a co-worker:

God told me your wife is going to be healed by her kidney transplant and everything's going to be fine.


I can't wait until I go to the next work function and tell Mr. Religious, "neener weener...either you were playing "telephone" with God and misuderstood what he said,  or God was trying to "punk" you.

Michelle  ~ Treasure   <~~~~  transplant lasted two months...pffth! and my son won't take it back, either, the brat!

[angieskidney]

God told me your wife is going to be healed by her kidney transplant and everything's going to be fine.

Holy crap I thought I was the ONLY one who had people tell me that!!!

I have had 2 people tell me that in the last 5 years!

Man if I took them seriously I would have been very disappointed as I was "supposed to" have a kidney transplant last summer according to the one man!! But instead I ended up in the hospital for 6 weeks and had to give up PD and go to HD and was taken off the list temporarily! Guess he was wrong eh? lol 

[vandie]

Oh, I don't know if this qualifies as ignorant...and I'm not really trying to offend anyone...and this was said to my husband (not me) by a co-worker:

God told me your wife is going to be healed by her kidney transplant and everything's going to be fine.


I can't wait until I go to the next work function and tell Mr. Religious, "neener weener...either you were playing "telephone" with God and misuderstood what he said,  or God was trying to "punk" you.

Michelle  ~ Treasure   <~~~~  transplant lasted two months...pffth! and my son won't take it back, either, the brat!

lol, DAMN KIDS!!!
Seriously though, what a wonderful gift he gave you.  Very selfless young man.
On the other topic, I believe people say things like that because it gives them some level of comfort in a situation they cannot understand. 

[devlinswife]

I was in the hospital last month and they wanted to cath me to do a clean catch urine, I tried to tell the nurse that I don't pee, but she kept insisting that I was not relaxed and that if I'd just relax she could get a specimen (as she jams the catheter tube around up inside me) Thank God for another nurse that happened to come in at the time, and when the mean nurse said she won't relax so I can get a specimen, the good nurse said, well she's on dialysis she doesn't pee!! Well mean nurse stomps out of the room like its my fault I don't pee. I wanted to give nice nurse a hug.

[Joe Paul]

I was in the hospital last month and they wanted to cath me to do a clean catch urine, I tried to tell the nurse that I don't pee, but she kept insisting that I was not relaxed and that if I'd just relax she could get a specimen (as she jams the catheter tube around up inside me) Thank God for another nurse that happened to come in at the time, and when the mean nurse said she won't relax so I can get a specimen, the good nurse said, well she's on dialysis she doesn't pee!! Well mean nurse stomps out of the room like its my fault I don't pee. I wanted to give nice nurse a hug.

OUCH! Sorry they put you through that...