Friends band together to help kidney donor

Friends band together to help kidney donor

By: NOELLE IBRAHIM - Staff Writer

NORTH COUNTY -- If acts of kindness cause a ripple effect, Chris Porfilio is creating waves.

After learning that Porfilio, a single mom from Lakeside, is donating her kidney and paycheck to help a friend get her life back, residents have been stepping up to give a little back to the woman who friends say gives so much.

"Chris is going to save the world, one person at a time," said Escondido resident Carla Bartolacci, who has been a volunteer scorekeeper at the Barona Speedway with Porfilio for six years. "This is just what she does."

Bartolacci partnered with Sisters Gift Shop in San Marcos to raise money to help Porfilio pay her bills while she recovers from the kidney transplant, scheduled for 5 a.m. Monday. While insurance will cover the surgery, it will not cover the three to six weeks Porfilio will be off work, Bartolacci said.

"Her resources are limited, so we're trying to help her cope with that six-week period," said shop owner Kristen Shipwash. "I don't know (Chris) personally, I just think it's the right thing to do."

After handling out fliers, passing the hat at Barona Speedway races and collecting change from customers in a jar at the store, Bartolacci and Shipwash, who have been friends since high school, have raised a little more than $2,300, but hope the donations will keep coming in. Though her bosses have been understanding, Porfilio is already out roughly $1,500 for missing work to attend nine doctor's appointments at St. Joseph Hospital in Orange County, where the transplant will take place.

"It's been hard for me to accept people helping me," said Porfilio, 42. "I assume anybody would do what I'm doing."

Porfilio is donating her kidney to Jen Barnette, 40, an Orange County resident who suffered renal failure after losing her baby in the eighth month of her pregnancy 2 1/2 years ago.

Barnette developed complications from placenta percreta, which occurs when the placenta penetrates through the entire uterine wall and attaches to another organ -- in Barnette's case, latching onto the baby and lodging under her rib cage and heart.

Barnette went into septic shock, causing her organs to fail.

Her husband Mike was told she had a microscopic chance (0.002 percent) of survival and 20 minutes to live.

"I thought, 'No, this isn't happening,' " he said.

While Barnette miraculously pulled through, her kidneys and thyroid did not. Barnette's kidneys function at 10 to 25 percent, she said. Three months later, Barnette had another medical emergency -- she had five strokes and needed emergency brain surgery.

"I'm very thankful God left me here for a reason ... " said Barnette, adding that she wasn't expected to walk or talk again. "As much as we've been through, gosh, I still think I'm pretty lucky."

Barnette undergoes dialysis three times a week, leaving her very weak and keeping her from working or sometimes doing everyday tasks like laundry or cooking dinner for her family. She is also on a very strict diet.

"You can't be on dialysis forever," she said.

Porfilio and Barnette were acquaintances at the Barona Speedway, where Barnette was secretary of the California Lightening Sprints racing association. When Barnette got sick, Porfilio took a sincere interest in her. She was so touched by Barnette's story and strength, she felt compelled to do something, Porfilio said.

"I'm like, 'Sign me up, I'll get checked (to donate),' " she said, adding that her 16-year-old daughter, Kelsey, supported her 100 percent.

However, a year went by before she got word that Barnette's sisters and mother were not matches and she was still looking for a kidney donor. Porfilio approached Barnette's husband again to let him know she was serious about her offer. After getting tested in June, Porfilio said she began crying tears of joy when she found out she was a match.

"Right from the beginning, I felt like it was not my kidney anymore, I felt like it was hers," she said. "Knowing I had the ability to help her and I didn't do it, I just couldn't live with myself."

Barnette said Porfilio has no idea the gift she's giving.

"She is giving me my life back," said Barnette. "It's the most selfless thing anyone could do, and I can't thank her enough, ever."

Though she's getting nervous about the surgery, Porfilio says she's honored to do it. She said she's more afraid of needles than she is of the actual surgery.

"Now, I've been poked and prodded more times than you can imagine," she said.

The fact the surgery is happening four days after Thanksgiving has a lot of meaning to Porfilio -- Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday, she said.

"For me, it's a time of family, more so than Christmas," she said, joking that once the surgery is over, Barnette is part of the family whether she likes it or not. "I don't think anything in this is a coincidence."

To make a donation, contact Kristen Shipwash at (760) 736-3126 or send a check payable to Sisters Gift Shop, Attn: Chris to Jen Fund, 576 E. Mission Road, Suite B, San Marcos, CA 92069.

Cards for Chris Porfilio or Jen Barnette can be sent to the address as well.

For more information, e-mail christojen@usa.com or visit www.myspace.com/christojen.

Contact staff writer Noelle Ibrahim at (760) 740-3517 or nibrahim@nctimes.com.

http://www.nctimes.com/articles/2007/11/24/news/top_stories/1_02_3711_23_07.txt