Patients who suck up to dialysis center staff

[Kitsune]

I know this hasn't been addressed here before, but I've got to vent!  First, I'd like to tell you about this guy Homer that rides in the van to dialysis with me. Homer goes to a different center than I do, and has been on  the transplant list for 7 years (or so he says). Howevcer, this is not about Homer's list staus, this is about his being a brown-nose. My friend Patty and I were talking in the van abo ut the renal diet and hoow it is killing this older man at our center and how we don't follow it (Her, because she is ineligible for a transplant, and I because I make a  good amount of urine and the only thing wrong with me is my creatinine is too high) Anyway, 'ol Homer butts in and says smugly, "Oh, I always follow that diet", and so I loo k back at him, and say, "Good for you if that's what you want to do, Homer." So he starts up with some crap like, "Oh, if you don't follow the diet, they can kick you out of the center because you're being disrespectful to the technicians by not following the det, they know what's best for you." and goes on to say he doesn't miss eating the "forbidden" foods. All this, while dressing to the tens to go and dialyze when he knows he can get blood all over himself. If you met this guy you would see what a brown-nose he is. He acts like the van driver is God, he never questions anything his techs say to him, etc.. This doesn't get him anywhere except loathed by other patients because no one likes a suck-up.

My next beef is with a woman named Angie who goes to my center. She's the female version of Homer, except she tattles on people like a 6 year old when she's doing the exact same thing they are. She hangs around for about 15 minutes after they tell her she can leave and she sits and talks to the dialysis techs and her battle cry is "*****! *****!  So-and-so is doing this-or-that and they're not supposed to!" She does this so that the techs think she's some sweet angel who is just so worried about other patients.  But she isn't, because she's the same freak who claims she doesn't want a kidney because it could reject, but that it's good that I'm on the list, because mine probably won't, and she says it in such a snide way that I know she doesn't really mean a word of it, and she hopes my kidney will reject so I can sit there in Hell forever just like her. Also she comments on other people's diets but she sits there and orders two large pizzas and eats them both at once. Her sucking-up also gets nowhere except alone on a Friday night because no one wants to date her or be her friend, due to her constant tattling and brown-nosing.

[Adam_W]

Sorry about those two @$$es, Kitsume. They will eventually learn the hard way when their potassium and phosphorous shoots to the moon. That reminds me of a lady at a centre that I dialyzed at in another town before I got my NxStage machine. This lady would whine and moan about anything and everything, treatment related or not. I found out from the nurses that she would get piss drunk every night, would eat and drink till she was near bursting, then wonder why her treatments went so bad when she would come in 15 to 20 kilos over her dry weight. My friend who I was visiting was in the waiting room and we were talking "through the wall" on our cell phones, and he said that he was relieved when she got called back to do her treatment because she was in the waiting room on her cell phone yelling and cussing about anything and everything. Normally I don't wish bad things on anyone, but I found myself relieved when they tried to stick her and her graft was clotted, and she had to go to the hospital to have it declotted. Dialysis is bad enough as it is, but rude, disgusting hypocritical patients just make it pure hell. I'm glad I do home dialysis now. I can relate to what you're dealing with. Fortunately not all patients are like this, but the ones who are just make me want to shoot someone (well, not really).

Adam

[Bill Peckham]

Stage five chronic kidney disease is an equal opportunity disease - any sort of person can be on dialysis. Usually societal conventions or our own actions can screen out the truly difficult personalities so we don't have to deal with them. Not at dialysis, at dialysis you have to deal with them; no doubt, it can be a challenge. Suffer, adapt or go home seem to be your options.

Ipods work well as a screening device.

[George Jung]

Even Homer has some good quality that you could learn from and focus on rather than ranting and getting pissed off about what you dislike.  It is difficult at times to show compassion but you can use Homer as an opportunity to become a better person yourself.  It is evident that you carry this negativity with you to some degree if you are posting it here, negativity that only hurts you, Homer doesn't even know about it.

We all need to practice being more compassionate and focusing on the good in people, which everyone has.  It is a negative mind set that only brings ourselves pain.

[angela515]

Sorry about those two @$$es, Kitsume. They will eventually learn the hard way when their potassium and phosphorous shoots to the moon.

Kitsume is the one not followig the renal diet... not "Homer".

[glitter]

But it is nice to vent when you need to isn't it?    Thankfully this is a safe place to gripe when you just feel the need, sometimes its just not possible to always be the compassionate, forgiving one. And sometimes a day goes by where you have 'learned enough' and need to expell some of the BS that gets thrust at you.

[Chris]

Even though someone is not following the diet, a brown noser is a brown noser no matter how you slice it. As suggested earlier, an IPod is a good screening device or a phone. If you don't like them, don't pay attention to them, don't even talk to them.

[angela515]

From what I read I don't see how this Homer person is a brown noser.

[Chris]

Not Homer, the lady telling on everyone. That to me is a brown noser. Homer just needs to not butt in..lol

[George Jung]

But it is nice to vent when you need to isn't it?    Thankfully this is a safe place to gripe when you just feel the need, sometimes its just not possible to always be the compassionate, forgiving one. And sometimes a day goes by where you have 'learned enough' and need to expell some of the BS that gets thrust at you.

Fair enough.  Sometimes we need to be reminded what it means to be compassionate.  A rant is cool when it is affecting you and you are in a seemingly helpless position (ie. Adam's graft) but over something like this I think we need to search within ourselves to be understanding.  We are all dealing with a horrible reality and we each have our own way of dealing with it so who are we to fault Homer.  I'm just saying ignore it or offer compassion but is it really worth being upset about.

[kitkatz]

I think a real good device is a pair of really good noise blocker headphones, and lots of patience.

[Chris]

Or a big dose of Xanax...

[Kitsune]

Angela,
 
But the thing is, my doctor tells me that I am on no restrictions, so how the hell would Homer know what my doctor wants and what he doesn't want? And the reason I said he is a brown-nose is because he walks around acting like he's so good, and saying he doesn't miss eating "forbidden" foods, yada yada yada. Also since my healthcare is between my doctor and myself, and my doctor says I'm doing well, I really don't think it's any of his business what my doctor tells me to do or doesn't tell me to do. So I amend my statement,

Homer is not only a brown-nose but he is also a busybody who really really needs to get a life. Also he's a hypocrite because he yellls and yells about taking care of oneself but then he doesn 't brush his teeth or have a reliable means to be contacted by when and if (and this is a big if because he uses his brother's cellphone as his only phone number, and it hardly ever works) because he is too cheap to get one of those dinky little $18 prepaids from Best Buy or something and put $20 on it, so maybe if he wants to yammer about taking care of  yourself, he should practice what he preaches

[RichardMEL]

From what you've written Homer does have one valid point - that if you don't follow what the staff (techs, dieticians say) then you WILL be considered uncompliant to treatment (because it does include all that stuff like diets etc) and that will go against you in a transplant evaluation - I am not sure how much though. In a way I can understand him suggesting it is a good idea to stick by the diet.. but I think what I would be saying if I was him more that you should follow the advice given by the staff because it may go against you if you're considered to be non-compliant.

Kitsune, it's great you have no stated restrictions (I am envious ) but I am concerned your venting shows you're spending a significant amount of emotional energy on worrying about what "Homer" or the other woman in your clinc is like and so on. Frankly if they want to "brown nose" or be annoying... that'sup to them... You might be better off for your own good to get an ipod or something and tune it up loud enough so you don't have to hear these people. It may seem rude, but it may also be more helpful for your own sanity not to worry about them.

One other though... I don't know this "homer" person and perhaps you don't really.. maybe he is in financial difficulty and HAS to rely on his brother's cell phone for contact. Yes - it might appear that he could do better, but that's also up to him.. what's it your business what he's doing? Now if his personal hygene is so questionable (and yeah it doesn't sound too good) then in the same spirit of "giving advice" as you don't like from him, perhaps you could suggest to him a tube of Colgate wouldn't go astray.

Personally though I tend to ignore such people. I reckon karma will come back at some stage. I try to do the best I can for me... so I watch my fluids and my diet and all that and am very compliant.. that may make me a brown-nose in your book, but frankly I reckon if I do the "pain" now I will so gain when my turn for a life changing kidney transplant comes along (please be soon! please be soon! Hey you.. up there.. are you listening??? I'm being REALLY good!! Just ask Santa!! oh well yeah I did have that coke today... oops!)...

just my thoughts for what little it's worth.

[George Jung]

Angela,
 
But the thing is, my doctor tells me that I am on no restrictions, so how the hell would Homer know what my doctor wants and what he doesn't want? And the reason I said he is a brown-nose is because he walks around acting like he's so good, and saying he doesn't miss eating "forbidden" foods, yada yada yada. Also since my healthcare is between my doctor and myself, and my doctor says I'm doing well, I really don't think it's any of his business what my doctor tells me to do or doesn't tell me to do. So I amend my statement,

Homer is not only a brown-nose but he is also a busybody who really really needs to get a life. Also he's a hypocrite because he yellls and yells about taking care of oneself but then he doesn 't brush his teeth or have a reliable means to be contacted by when and if (and this is a big if because he uses his brother's cellphone as his only phone number, and it hardly ever works) because he is too cheap to get one of those dinky little $18 prepaids from Best Buy or something and put $20 on it, so maybe if he wants to yammer about taking care of yourself, he should practice what he preaches

WHO ARE YOU MAN.  MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD FIND FAULT IN YOU AND GRIPE ABOUT IT.  It sound to me like you are the one that should get a life and quit worrying so much about Homer and worry more about yourself.     Nobody is perfect, get over it. 

[George Jung]

I know this hasn't been addressed here before,

There is a reason for that.

[goofynina]

WHO ARE YOU MAN. MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD FIND FAULT IN YOU AND GRIPE ABOUT IT. It sound to me like you are the one that should get a life and quit worrying so much about Homer and worry more about yourself. Nobody is perfect, get over it.

Sounds to me like the ol' George is back   

I know this hasn't been addressed here before,

There is a reason for that.

Anyone can rant about anything at anytime, that is the whole reason Epoman created this awesome site    miss you Boss 

[Zach]

Some patients may say I'm a "suck up."  And some staff persons may say I'm intimidating.
So I would say that I must be doing it just about right.
 

[Bill Peckham]

Some patients may say I'm a "suck up."  And some staff persons may say I'm intimidating.
So I would say that I must be doing it just about right.
 

You're just being renalistic.

[Zach]

You're just being renalistic.

How true.
 

[KT0930]

I don't see being compliant as being a suck-up. I see it as keeping myself feeling as best I can under very trying circumstances, and keeping myself as healthy as I can so that when my turn comes, I don't have to turn down a kidney because I'm not a suitable candidate for a very difficult surgery.

[angela515]

Angela,
 
But the thing is, my doctor tells me that I am on no restrictions, so how the hell would Homer know what my doctor wants and what he doesn't want? And the reason I said he is a brown-nose is because he walks around acting like he's so good, and saying he doesn't miss eating "forbidden" foods, yada yada yada. Also since my healthcare is between my doctor and myself, and my doctor says I'm doing well, I really don't think it's any of his business what my doctor tells me to do or doesn't tell me to do. So I amend my statement,

Homer is not only a brown-nose but he is also a busybody who really really needs to get a life. Also he's a hypocrite because he yellls and yells about taking care of oneself but then he doesn 't brush his teeth or have a reliable means to be contacted by when and if (and this is a big if because he uses his brother's cellphone as his only phone number, and it hardly ever works) because he is too cheap to get one of those dinky little $18 prepaids from Best Buy or something and put $20 on it, so maybe if he wants to yammer about taking care of yourself, he should practice what he preaches

WHO ARE YOU MAN.  MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD FIND FAULT IN YOU AND GRIPE ABOUT IT.  It sound to me like you are the one that should get a life and quit worrying so much about Homer and worry more about yourself.     Nobody is perfect, get over it. 

I have lots of faults, and I feel free to share them... nobody is perfect is my motto. I don't know this Homoer personal at all, but I was replying to what was being said, you know, joining in the convo

[paddbear0000]

Even Homer has some good quality that you could learn from and focus on rather than ranting and getting pissed off about what you dislike.  It is difficult at times to show compassion but you can use Homer as an opportunity to become a better person yourself.  It is evident that you carry this negativity with you to some degree if you are posting it here, negativity that only hurts you, Homer doesn't even know about it.

We all need to practice being more compassionate and focusing on the good in people, which everyone has.  It is a negative mind set that only brings ourselves pain.

Ummm...does anyone else besides me remember the soda tirade? George, you've had your moments of not practicing compassion too.

[glitter]

Georges soda rant was because he was being treated like a child, he wasn't nitpicking the techs personality, he was pissed about a dumb rule- I do not think you can compare this rant with that one- they are two dif. animals.

[George Jung]

Ummm...does anyone else besides me remember the soda tirade? George, you've had your moments of not practicing compassion too.

Do you mean this.....  
  http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=3465.40
How are the two similar?  

I know I am not perfect and I know we all have our moments that we need to just let out a bit if steam, I have that understanding.  Also, I am compassionate toward this particular topic too and Kitsune, although I feel what I said was warrented.  Usually my moments of weakness are when others are treated wrongly (bashing Homer and other patients without taking their situations into consideration) and I want to stand up for them, this is when it is most difficult for me to be compassionate.  I do however practice patience, understanding, finding the positives and basic goodness of life everyday.