Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?

[Romona]

Oleated Kilt Clan? Are they pappers or something? I think I have their CD.

[monrein]

Having just stumbled upon this noble thread and currently being a loyal member of the imposed leisure class of the dialyzor diaspora I would, with utmost humility my lord, seek bestowment  of a title.  Were it not for the inconvenience of the possession of a pair of completely useless scumbag kidneys with the addition of one now defunct kidney by transplantation I feel quite sure that my rise within the ranks would already have been duly noted by your lordship and my station elevated to a status suitable to my temperament.  Use your discretion kind Sir to reward my worthiness with something suitably grand.  Baroness of the Barrenlands holds some appeal for my adventurous spirit. But wait, I presume not to place words in your mouth Sir, I instead remain your faithful liege, until such time that I am in possession of said title and then I may well court the favour of the Purple Boa Brigade.  

[rose1999]

Thank you Sir Kenneth, I am indeed honoured at the gift of the title of Countess which you have bestowed upon me.  I graciously accept.

I have to pledge my alliegance to the Purple Boa Brigade as the Damn Dame would not rest in peace if a lady should join the Pleated Kilt Clan (and I hope that in true and time honoured fashion those wearing kilts shall henceforth go 'commando' ).

We shall go forth purple boas blowing (and shedding!!) in the breeze.......Petey ,purveyor of the purple boa ,where art thou, Sir Kenneth must bestow upon thee a suitable title forthwith.

God save the Kingdom!

Countess Rose

p.s. Okarol, where can we get the Tshirts?

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Having just stumbled upon this noble thread and currently being a loyal member of the imposed leisure class of the dialyzor diaspora I would, with utmost humility my lord, seek bestowment  of a title.  Were it not for the inconvenience of the possession of a pair of completely useless scumbag kidneys with the addition of one now defunct kidney by transplantation I feel quite sure that my rise within the ranks would already have been duly noted by your lordship and my station elevated to a status suitable to my temperament.  Use your discretion kind Sir to reward my worthiness with something suitably grand.  Baroness of the Barrenlands holds some appeal for my adventurous spirit. But wait, I presume not to place words in your mouth Sir, I instead remain your faithful liege, until such time that I am in possession of said title and then I may well court the favour of the Purple Boa Brigade.  

I have discussed this matter with Her Majesty (Lizzie) and she has agreed to grant you the title of Baronnes Monrein of Barrenboimbingbongbangerland. For thy trials and tribulations you are granted the elevated status of Barroness, please conduct thyself with honour and dignity and always ensure that thou art scantily clad in allegience to the court of King Kenneth and the Pleated Kilt Clan.

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Oleated Kilt Clan? Are they pappers or something? I think I have their CD.

 Romona I said PLEATED not OLEATED. Whats Oleated anyway? Have I said one of those things which are described by two different words whichever side of the pond you live. LIke 'nappies' = 'diapers' If that is the case then in England if a piece of fabric if pressed into strips of about half inch to two inches wide so that if you viewed it end on it would look like wwwwwwwww joined up then those are called pleats.
Kilts are and example of pleating.

[rose1999]

sorry Sir Kenneth I do not wish to be discourteous but I am laughing at your (very accurate really) description of pleating 

[monrein]

Oh joy oh bliss I now have a title that befits my aspirations.   Given my age, I will restrict the scanty cladding to copious yards of draped diaphanous fabrics so as not to frighten innocent children in the street nor be mistaken for that most pathetic of aging vixens.....mutton dressed up as lamb.

With gratitude King Kenneth, I remain thy loyal liege

Baroness Monrein of BBBBBland.

[kevno]

A better name for your band of feathers.

Suffragettes Brigade! Kit will remember when the name was used the first time around, When the sister were uprising  Kit and Ms Pankhurst most likely Best of friends in the early   20s

Maybe THE GRANNIES BRIGADE! 

Right I'm off before I get attacked with kits big stick.  She is one old mean Lady Kit!


Peasant Kevno

[rose1999]

Grannies indeed - we could show you a thing or 2  OFF WITH HIS HEAD 

[Romona]

Oleated Kilt Clan? Are they pappers or something? I think I have their CD.

 Romona I said PLEATED not OLEATED. Whats Oleated anyway? Have I said one of those things which are described by two different words whichever side of the pond you live. LIke 'nappies' = 'diapers' If that is the case then in England if a piece of fabric if pressed into strips of about half inch to two inches wide so that if you viewed it end on it would look like wwwwwwwww joined up then those are called pleats.
Kilts are and example of pleating.

I was typing in the dark. It came out all wrong. Can you describe a dart as used to make a garment fit the body? 

[monrein]

What should be done about this insolent cur called Kevno?  Must we endure the darts and arrows of his poisonous tongue?  His lack of respect for those of higher station is shocking in the extreme but not surprising due to his ignoble rank.  Lady Emmeline Pankhurst would concur I suspect although she was of course nothing but a courageous and persistent commoner.
I would suggest, my lords and ladies, that we send this Kevno  for a week's idle in the stocks and should that not cure his insolence, we could have his tongue, the very tool of his disrespect cut out just prior to the public beheading which Countess Rose so wisely advises.  His silence would thusly be assured and our ears and sensibilities forevermore protected.

[Sluff]

Talk about no mercy.  Sir Ken we must save our mate kevno before it is too late.

[Romona]

Too late. He can't be saved, but he can be ransomed. Do I hear a brand new toyota and a tank of gas?

[kevno]

My Ransome as gone up last time it was two chickens. Plus a week in the stocks (IS THAT ALL) it's the only chance I have getting some decent food 

But don't worry I am of to Sherwood Forest to hide, from the mean Old Grannies. There is only one problem I can see with that the Sheriffess of Nottingham

[thegrammalady]

mean old grannies, whatever do you mean?  there isn't a mean bone in my body (well maybe if i don't get my tea)

[rose1999]

Too late. He can't be saved, but he can be ransomed. Do I hear a brand new Toyota and a tank of gas?

With the price of fuel here in the UK I think a tank of gas may be too high price to ask. ................but it all depends on you, our Knights and Lords, how much does the cur Kevno mean to you?  What is his worth my Lords?  Do we have any advance on a Toyota, a tank of gas and 2 chickens..................or is it to the stocks with Kevno................

Sherwood Forest you say...........well you can run but you can't hide................ the Sheriffess of Nottingham will see to that. [Or if not her then my Auntie Joan who lives at Bilborough...].

I'm off now on my trusty steed to put bread upon the table, but I shall be back anon to ensure that the Ladies of the Purple Boa Brigade are gathered as one to go forth and ................oh.... do whatever purple boa brigades do 

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Fear not Lord Kevno (Have I given you a title yet?) well I have now,

ARISE SIR KEVNO OF KEVNOTTINGHAM HALL!

We shall come to your rescue. As I speak Viscount Sluff is riding to your aid on his bicycle of fire and I will mount my trusting thrusting stallion (if he doesn't mount me first) and we will meet you in the forest next to the "*?#~^*/& Viscount Sluff will send you the code cipher by semaphore.

You will be safe with us from the Purple Boa mean Old Grannies brigade for they are  greatly in fear of the Viscount's Mighty Weapon. From our rendezvous we will ride to the castle where your safety is guaranteed (they won't fool us with baby oil again.) where we will partake in a grand banquet smoke the leafy compound and have sex with goats. 

[Sluff]

Too late. He can't be saved, but he can be ransomed. Do I hear a brand new toyota and a tank of gas?

Which is worth more, the tank of gas or the new Toyota.

[monrein]

Attention farmers of the realm!!  Gather ye goats while ye may.  There are those abroad in the land that would sow their wild oats with thine goats.  Mayhem will ensue if ye fail to heed the warming and ensure goat safety.

[rose1999]

Viscount Sluffbunny's mighty weapon doesn't scare us (nothing scares me after that porn I accidentally looked at on here the other day, pertaining to be about cricket!!).............it may make us laugh though    And I think the goats are a bit worried...........come Purple Boa Gang, join with myself and the Baroness Monrein and let us go forth and rid our Kingdom of these insufferable knights....before they get our goats 

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Attention farmers of the realm!!  Gather ye goats while ye may.  There are those abroad in the land that would sow their wild oats with thine goats.  Mayhem will ensue if ye fail to heed the warming and ensure goat safety.

 
Most goats of the realm are safe. We only go for the obedient and good looking ones    What say you Viscount.

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Lord Kevno you do not reply. Are you held by the Purple Boas traitors so they be before we have had chance to rescue thee?
 

[Romona]

Try as you might, you will never find him. Don't look for him at the mall holding our purses while we try on mountains of shoes.

[paris]

Hmmmm when you talk about goats, are you talking about the "old goats" that think they are in charge of the kingdom?

[thegrammalady]

hmmmm just because i have a purple boa, doesn't make me a mean old grannie. (jaden, chayton, declan and damian would simply be crushed it that were true)