I felt bad because of how I felt upon hearing of a bad accident...

[RichardMEL]

Hi all,

I've been a little bit troubled recently. Not in a massive way or anything but I have thought about it from time to time so thought I'd post here and ask what everyone else thinks.

The other week there was a horrible accident here when a truck hit a train and I think 15 people died in the accident.

I was actually in the dialysis unit on the machine when the news came through.

What was my first thought?

I'm ashamed to say my very first thought was "gee, I wonder if there might be a kidney out of this?"

It was only quick before I considered the utter tragedy of the situation, how families would be grieving at lost family members, specially children and so on (incidently I understand one of the victims was on her way home FROM dialysis?!)...

Anyway I guess I have been feeling selfish because I thought of MYSELF (potentially) instead of anyone else and I didn't like that.

Perhaps because I've reccently been declined a living donor transplant and so my only real hope for a transplant is from a cavader donor - maybe that has a lot to do with it but I still feel a little uncomfortable that that was my reaction.

I did discuss how I felt with a nurse at the time and she was oh it's perfectly normal don't worry about it.. and a few others have said it's only natural and not to beat myself up about it...

I'm not beating myself up or anything but I still feel a little bad about thinking something like that.

Do others in a similar situation ever think like that if they hear about a big accident or something like that?

[glitter]

I think its only a natural reaction...of course you are a compassionate person, many of your posts show that you are a genuine guy.But your need for a kidney is a huge part of your life, whenever I see a helmetless motorcycle rider-I wonder if they will be donating a kidney......I don't wish them any harm really, I just want my husband to have a transplant. And he is not even on the list yet....but I still think it- then my brain says, 'darn it- thats mean' and I mentally apologize for being thoughless of that persons life. 

[okarol]

It's just an awareness patients on the list have -- seems natural to think that way to me. Sad, but unavoidable.
There's a big difference between wondering what will become of the deceased organs than there is from wishing someone would die so you can get a kidney.
The 2 times Jenna got called as back-up recipient for a transplant was on holiday weekends. That's when most accidental deaths occur. It's sad to say, but I always kept the pager and phone a little closer on holidays.

[tweetykiss]

It's just an awareness patients on the list have -- seems natural to think that way to me. Sad, but unavoidable.
There's a big difference between wondering what will become of the deceased organs than there is from wishing someone would die so you can get a kidney.
The 2 times Jenna got called as back-up recipient for a transplant was on holiday weekends. That's when most accidental deaths occur. It's sad to say, but I always kept the pager and phone a little closer on holidays.

How long was she on the list?

[okarol]

It's just an awareness patients on the list have -- seems natural to think that way to me. Sad, but unavoidable.
There's a big difference between wondering what will become of the deceased organs than there is from wishing someone would die so you can get a kidney.
The 2 times Jenna got called as back-up recipient for a transplant was on holiday weekends. That's when most accidental deaths occur. It's sad to say, but I always kept the pager and phone a little closer on holidays.

How long was she on the list?

3 years - would have been longer but fortunately a living donor offered!

[st789]

WTF?  Bush did it again.

Nancy Reagan would not be happy about this.

I guess Bush has not experienced anyone close to him on the waiting list.

[st789]

Sorry, I mean to post on topic of Bush veto stem cell.

[tweetykiss]

It's just an awareness patients on the list have -- seems natural to think that way to me. Sad, but unavoidable.
There's a big difference between wondering what will become of the deceased organs than there is from wishing someone would die so you can get a kidney.
The 2 times Jenna got called as back-up recipient for a transplant was on holiday weekends. That's when most accidental deaths occur. It's sad to say, but I always kept the pager and phone a little closer on holidays.

How long was she on the list?

3 years - would have been longer but fortunately a living donor offered!

That is even better......how are her labs?

[tweetykiss]

WTF?  Bush did it again.

Nancy Reagan would not be happy about this.

I guess Bush has not experienced anyone close to him on the waiting list.

This is still very funny and couldn't help but laugh.......

Guiness Book of World Records....."Laziest person to make the most money and known around the World"   George W. Bush.,.......

[kitkatz]

Okay back on topic.  You guys have to go find the stem cell topic. 

I think your reaction says that you have a sense of humor about life, your disease and death. 

[lola]

every time i see some moron fly buy on a "donor rocket" going 100 mph i always say "hope they have said they want to be a donor"..Don't beat yourself up we all have thought that at times

[Sluff]

Don't feel bad Richardmel it's a dog eat dog world out there. They were already dead before you had the thought. Now if you were wishing that someone would hit that train and die so you might get a kidney that would be different. just my 

[pandabear]

I work in a transplant center. I have to say, my first thought when I come in and see a donor packet of info on my desk is "Yippee!"

Then I quickly feel shameful because I didn't think of the donor's family in saying "Yippee!"

But I'm just so happy someone who has been through so much has been given a chance.

[RichardMEL]

Thanks everyone for your responses... even the Bush/Stem Cell one

I apprieciate what everyone has said and I feel I'm a good person.. I guess I was just shocked that it was the FIRST thing I thought of and well I hope I wouldn't be so selfish and just think of myself.

And no, I'd never wish anyone to die just for my (or someone else's) gain so I'm fairly sure my morals are OK in that dept.

so thanks I feel better now

[Romona]

If lighting struck everyone on the waiting list who has had a similar thought, there wouldn't be much of a list left. 

[mmmmdeedee]

I can't count how many times I thought the same thing when hearing of someone tragically passing away. I just hope that all the families are approached when one of their family members is on life support. I mean, it's a tough situation but if you don't ask.... I think after the shock is over and if it's explained in a calm and sympathetic way, I believe that most families would at least consider it. That's why it is sooo important to have your donor card filled out, your driver's license stickered, your family made aware of your thoughts on donation, or the donor website (in California at least) info filled out stating your preferences.