How Have You Reacted

[George Jung]

Very recently I have made a decision to pursue transplantation and for one reason or another I have been approached and offered by some friends to be tested for me.  My problem is that when it has happened I haven't know how to react to the offering.  I did send out an e-mail with links to information but when I am met face to face I just clam up.  Even if I knew someone would be ineligible it means alot to me to know they would like to help and I am not sure how to react ot it.  I don't want to brush them off or count them out right off the bat and I don't want to be the one to tell them they aren't healthy enough to help me either.  My best friends mom says she "won't let him" donate to me because his son might need it someday but little does she know that with the kidney stones he has had that he would most likely not qualify to help anyone at anytime.  I don't know........who wants a kidney full of rocks anyhow!  So I am just wondering how any of you guys confront similar situations.

[okarol]

I was always surprised by offers to donate and felt awkward face to face, it's such a huge gift to accept. Luckily it's not up to you to determine who and and cannot donate. Just be grateful and pass them along to your transplant coordinator. The TC will help answer questions and begin the process as to whether or not they will be a suitable donor. Then the donor's confidentiality begins, and you are not involved in the process until the team feels it's a good match. That was our experience anyway. And the hospital will tell them if they are a good candidate or not.
With our first hospital, the TC was lax about returning the calls of the potential donors, which was really discouraging. So I often would say, "Please call the TC directly. But if you don't get a prompt response please let me know." It would make me crazy to think a donor would lack confidence in our transplant team due to the initial introduction. That's part of the reason why we changed hospitals eventually. The next hospital treated the potential donors with efficiency and respect.
If there was a person that offered but I personally felt they probably wouldn't be accepted as a donor, I didn't want to waste their time or the TC's, so I would say something like, "I have a donor who is currently being evaluated. Thanks so much for your offer. If this person doesn't work out I will let you know." Most teams we dealt with would only look at one donor at a time, but I hear that is different at some hospitals.
Like you say, it means a lot that they would even offer, and I still remember every person who considered donating. I will never forget.

[Lori1851]

George,
I dont know what to tell you. When ppl have askd to be tested I have gave them Dustin's transplant coordinator phone #. Just tell them thank you for offering and thinking about you.
My bestfriend wanted to be tested but Gold love her she is goin through a terrible divorce. Im not in your situation but,,,, I tear up when people offer.
Lori

[keefer51]

George, When i had my first transplant my brother came forward and donated one to me. If it wasn't for those a-hole doctors i would have received it before dialysis. I also had some other friends and family tell me they wanted to. My other brother was truthful however and told me of his concern because he has children. I love him for that. I always told the people that approached me the same thing. It takes allot to transplant there is time, money, energy, and everyones health to consider. There is also that small chance it rejects in a small amount of time. The powers to be have made transplants into a simple operation, one, two, three it's over. But George ole buddy you will be hard up to find the love someone has for you that says; "I'll be tested."

[Romona]

I put my sister in charge of the offers. I would say "thank you" try not to cry and tell them if they would like more information talk to her.