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PrimeTimer
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« on: February 24, 2021, 07:50:32 PM »

If someone hires a lawyer to help you with a legal matter, does that give that lawyer the privilege or right to speak to the person who hired them about you and/or your case?

Another question: Is there such a thing as hiring a lawyer to tell relatives (or anyone for that matter) to leave you alone and stop harassing you about personal matters? TIA.
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Husband had ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his care-partner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
After more than 150 days of being hospitalized with complications from Diabetes, my beloved husband's heart stopped and he passed away 06-08-21. He was only 63.
MooseMom
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« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2021, 07:59:53 PM »

I am not sure I understand your first question.  Could you perhaps rephrase it or give an example?

As for the second scenario, no, not really, unless someone is seriously harassing you, like, phoning you 12 times a day.  But even then, each state has its own definition of "harassment".

I'm sorry you are having to ask these questions!
« Last Edit: February 24, 2021, 08:06:46 PM by MooseMom » Logged

"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
PrimeTimer
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« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2021, 08:35:26 PM »

I am not sure I understand your first question.  Could you perhaps rephrase it or give an example?

As for the second scenario, no, not really, unless someone is seriously harassing you, like, phoning you 12 times a day.  But even then, each state has its own definition of "harassment".

I'm sorry you are having to ask these questions!


Here, I will try to rephrase. If someone hires/pays a lawyer to help you, is that lawyer then allowed to speak to that person about your case or about you? Or does everything remain private between you and the lawyer?
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Husband had ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his care-partner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
After more than 150 days of being hospitalized with complications from Diabetes, my beloved husband's heart stopped and he passed away 06-08-21. He was only 63.
Simon Dog
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« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2021, 11:18:53 PM »

It depends.

I am part of a triumvirate that frequently funds legal cases for individuals.  Sometimes, it's an attempt to establish case law; have a law ruled invalid by mounting a facially or as applied challenge; etc.  Other times there are no public policy implications but we are trying to help someone who is getting screwed over.

We always require the person grant their attorney permission to discuss any aspect with the three of us or our attorneys (we are directors of a 501(c)(3)).   Attorneys have made it clear to us that they will not talk to us without permission as the person we are funding, and not us, is legally the client.  The usual sequence is we offer to fund; select an attorney with the person; and offer to pay provided the person agrees to that condition.   Our relationship with attorneys is such that we are never billed retainers, but are invoiced as the work is performed.

So, an ethical attorney will maintain confidentiality without a release from his client - but the easy solution is to ask, and make sure you are legally the client.

We have funded cases where our interest, and clients interests diverge when we want to push on to make case law; the subject wants to take an offered deal - not always a plea, but often "we do want you want for you, you go away, and we continue to screw other people" sort of thing.  In those cases, the person we fund is legally the client of the attorney, and as such, the attorney puts the clients interests above that of the funding org if they branch off in different directions.

So also make sure YOU and, not the person paying the attorney, are legally the client.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2021, 06:12:44 AM by Simon Dog » Logged
Simon Dog
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« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2021, 11:22:34 PM »

I am not sure I understand your first question.  Could you perhaps rephrase it or give an example?

As for the second scenario, no, not really, unless someone is seriously harassing you, like, phoning you 12 times a day.  But even then, each state has its own definition of "harassment".

I'm sorry you are having to ask these questions!
It depends on the state.  Here in MA one can often get a 258E harassment prevention order simply by telling the judge "I denounce this person as a harasser".
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kristina
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« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2021, 01:26:36 AM »

I am not sure I understand your first question.  Could you perhaps rephrase it or give an example?

As for the second scenario, no, not really, unless someone is seriously harassing you, like, phoning you 12 times a day.  But even then, each state has its own definition of "harassment".

I'm sorry you are having to ask these questions!


Here, I will try to rephrase. If someone hires/pays a lawyer to help you, is that lawyer then allowed to speak to that person about your case or about you? Or does everything remain private between you and the lawyer?

Hello PrimeTimer,

I am very sorry about your problem and I do hope, that if you instruct a lawyer about your problem and your wishes according to your and your husband's needs, they are  surely not allowed to stress you further by talking about you both to anyone else?  But - could the situation perhaps change if this someone else hired a lawyer for you both? After all, they would be paying for the lawyer?

Could it not be a good idea to ask advice at some Patient-Help-Groups (Kidney/dialysis National Help Groups & groups to help patients with extremely rare diseases like yours to find a sympathetic lawyer who could assist you?

I do hope that some help comes along soon and I wish you both all the best for a good outcome. Good luck and best wishes from Kristina. :grouphug;
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Bach was no pioneer; his style was not influenced by any past or contemporary century.
  He was completion and fulfillment in itself, like a meteor which follows its own path.
                                        -   Robert Schumann  -

                                          ...  Oportet Vivere ...
PrimeTimer
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« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2021, 04:47:35 AM »

Thank you all for the replies. My husband's family is trying to force me into doing something that I cannot do right now and do not want to do. They have retained a lawyer for me and I am sure they think by hiring a lawyer to "help me out" that I would feel obligated to carry through and meet with the lawyer...as if it's an offer I can't refuse. Well, I do refuse it. I did not ask them to hire a lawyer and this whole matter is none of their business. In fact, I wish I could hire a lawyer just to tell them to butt out of my business.

 :rant; As you all know, I am quite sick these days with a rare disease. I may get better, I may not and I may die. Hopefully and soon, I might be trying another medication that one of my doctors has had some success with but no guarantee. In the meantime, my in-laws are driving me to the brink. I don't think they realize that dying by hypoxia is painless and if I want, I can simply turn my oxygen off and that would be that. And no pain. The more stress I am under and the more nonsense these people put me the more I am thinking about it.   :rant;
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Husband had ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his care-partner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
After more than 150 days of being hospitalized with complications from Diabetes, my beloved husband's heart stopped and he passed away 06-08-21. He was only 63.
Simon Dog
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« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2021, 06:15:27 AM »

Thank you all for the replies. My husband's family is trying to force me into doing something that I cannot do right now and do not want to do. They have retained a lawyer for me
Ask that lawyer if you are legally the client, and what happens if they or any party in their firm represent your husband's family or any member thereof.  If the answer is yes, ask what happens if a conflict of interest arrives such as in the case of a dispute between you and the inlaws.

I had once retained a lawyer to represent me in a house closing.   When he discovered the person selling me the house was an attorney in his firm, he explained he could not ethically continue to represent me because of the conflict of interest that presented.   
« Last Edit: February 25, 2021, 06:16:35 AM by Simon Dog » Logged
MooseMom
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« Reply #8 on: February 25, 2021, 10:38:18 AM »

They're retaining a lawyer for you in a ploy to get you to do what THEY want you to do?  That's just bizarre.  Are they ultimately trying to have you legally declared incompetent or something?
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
PrimeTimer
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« Reply #9 on: February 25, 2021, 01:33:05 PM »

They're retaining a lawyer for you in a ploy to get you to do what THEY want you to do?  That's just bizarre.  Are they ultimately trying to have you legally declared incompetent or something?

They want me to apply for disability. My sister in-law seems to think that with a lawyer, this is something that is approved in just a couple of weeks. What she doesn't know is that there is no category for disability income for the rare diseases I have (I have two). I would have to jump thru hoops and go thru numerous tests to prove I'm disabled and then go before the state's medical committee and also be seen and tested by their doctors (in addition to my own doctors submitting their statements and tests results.)

For people who have what I have, the average time for a final decision can take 4-6 years, only to be denied. Not even specialists quite have all the answers to understanding the diseases I have. They are so rare that most doctors do not even see a case of it in their lifetime. You should have heard how excited one of my doctors got upon being told that I found a rheumatologist that has treated at least 3 others! I am very lucky for that. I highly doubt a lawyer would know enough about these diseases to navigate the murky waters. But what really pisses me off is that I do not want to go thru all those hoops and altho my in-laws have repeatedly been told to butt out, they continue using their proverbial battering ram to forge ahead with their ideas of what is best. It's only "piling it on me" now. And NONE of this is their business! I am too damn sick for their crap right now! And now it's starting to come between my husband and I because he won't defend me from his family. What if I wanted to go to hospice? Would they stand in my way of that? That also would be none of their business. None of this is their decision to make.

I am almost tempted to just lie and tell them that I spoke to the lawyer they hired and when they call me for updates, just keep telling them "it's being worked on". Sorry I am venting so much here but I honestly need rest and am not getting any now. I would go to the hospital but, like anyone else, want to avoid a Covid factory but really, there isn't anything more that a hospital can do for me that my doctors aren't already doing. And until I can try the new treatment my doctor wants to try, I have to just rest and do the best I can. Let me put it to you this way; I am lucky to be able to dress and feed myself. Everything is now a struggle, including my breathing and that's with oxygen on. I remove the O2 and my O2 level plummets to 70 in less than 60 seconds. You get a little headache and slight cough. But you get down to 40 and you feel like you are floating and there's no pain or choking. That level is what they call hypoxia and next comes death...which isn't painful.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2021, 01:37:42 PM by PrimeTimer » Logged

Husband had ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his care-partner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
After more than 150 days of being hospitalized with complications from Diabetes, my beloved husband's heart stopped and he passed away 06-08-21. He was only 63.
Simon Dog
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« Reply #10 on: February 25, 2021, 02:02:44 PM »

If you are applying for Social Security disability, you can either use a blue book disease (being on dialysis is one); or prove disability.  In the case of a blue book disease, all you have to do is prove you have the disease.  Diseases outside the blue book take a bit more work.

For the book diseases, hiring an attorney is a waste if you are somewhat literate and know how to read instructions and fill out forms.  I did mine without a mouthpiece when I was on D and it went through smoothly.   If you have one of the tougher "prove it" diseases you can hire a contingency fee SS disability attorney who will take 25% up to a max of $6000 and yes, you will probably get an initial denial.

So did they retain (ie, pay for) this lawyer or simply introduce you to to a contingency fee SS disability lawyer?

https://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/AdultListings.htm
« Last Edit: February 25, 2021, 02:38:19 PM by Simon Dog » Logged
PrimeTimer
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« Reply #11 on: February 25, 2021, 06:32:10 PM »

If you are applying for Social Security disability, you can either use a blue book disease (being on dialysis is one); or prove disability.  In the case of a blue book disease, all you have to do is prove you have the disease.  Diseases outside the blue book take a bit more work.

For the book diseases, hiring an attorney is a waste if you are somewhat literate and know how to read instructions and fill out forms.  I did mine without a mouthpiece when I was on D and it went through smoothly.   If you have one of the tougher "prove it" diseases you can hire a contingency fee SS disability attorney who will take 25% up to a max of $6000 and yes, you will probably get an initial denial.

So did they retain (ie, pay for) this lawyer or simply introduce you to to a contingency fee SS disability lawyer?

https://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/AdultListings.htm

They retained a lawyer. And my diseases are not in the book. They would have to choose a disease that is similar.

When people first read about Sarcoidosis, the internet would have you believing it is no big deal. However, for some of us it spreads, damaging other organs. So far it has spread to my lungs, skin, spleen and muscles and now possibly my bones. I have Stage IV Pulmonary Sarcoidosis, which is permanent scarring aka Pulmonary Fibrosis. I also have Sarcoid Myositis. It is nothing less than an insidious disease that leaves you feeling wiped out, not to mention the pain. If/when I decide to apply for disability it should be my decision, not anyone else's. Because of a toe amputation, my husband has been out of work for nearly 3 months while his foot heals. His family doesn't want to help with the groceries and bills (altho they can afford to...believe me). I don't blame them, we've been a thorn in their side these last few months. They have every right to say they don't want to help but....they have no right getting into my personal business and decision-making. People either help people out of the goodness of their heart or else move on. They shouldn't expect anything in return other than our heartfelt gratefulness. Thanks, Simon for your responses and sharing info with me. 
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Husband had ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his care-partner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
After more than 150 days of being hospitalized with complications from Diabetes, my beloved husband's heart stopped and he passed away 06-08-21. He was only 63.
kristina
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« Reply #12 on: February 26, 2021, 01:59:26 AM »

If you are applying for Social Security disability, you can either use a blue book disease (being on dialysis is one); or prove disability.  In the case of a blue book disease, all you have to do is prove you have the disease.  Diseases outside the blue book take a bit more work.

For the book diseases, hiring an attorney is a waste if you are somewhat literate and know how to read instructions and fill out forms.  I did mine without a mouthpiece when I was on D and it went through smoothly.   If you have one of the tougher "prove it" diseases you can hire a contingency fee SS disability attorney who will take 25% up to a max of $6000 and yes, you will probably get an initial denial.

So did they retain (ie, pay for) this lawyer or simply introduce you to to a contingency fee SS disability lawyer?

https://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/AdultListings.htm

They retained a lawyer. And my diseases are not in the book. They would have to choose a disease that is similar.

When people first read about Sarcoidosis, the internet would have you believing it is no big deal. However, for some of us it spreads, damaging other organs. So far it has spread to my lungs, skin, spleen and muscles and now possibly my bones. I have Stage IV Pulmonary Sarcoidosis, which is permanent scarring aka Pulmonary Fibrosis. I also have Sarcoid Myositis. It is nothing less than an insidious disease that leaves you feeling wiped out, not to mention the pain. If/when I decide to apply for disability it should be my decision, not anyone else's. Because of a toe amputation, my husband has been out of work for nearly 3 months while his foot heals. His family doesn't want to help with the groceries and bills (altho they can afford to...believe me). I don't blame them, we've been a thorn in their side these last few months. They have every right to say they don't want to help but....they have no right getting into my personal business and decision-making. People either help people out of the goodness of their heart or else move on. They shouldn't expect anything in return other than our heartfelt gratefulness. Thanks, Simon for your responses and sharing info with me.

Hello PrimeTimer,

I am so sorry what you and your husband have to go through and I send you my deepest sympathy for this terrible stress you also have to put up with.

... I have been wondering : Could you not present to the lawyer all medical letters from your "file", which, over the years have described your symptoms and also describe your two chronic rare diseases, their diagnosis and your constant medical problems, plus further medical problems with different flare-ups of these chronic rare diseases etc. ? Would such medical letters not go a long way in your plight? The more letters, the better? What do you think?

I wish you both good luck and send my kind regards from Kristina. :grouphug;
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Bach was no pioneer; his style was not influenced by any past or contemporary century.
  He was completion and fulfillment in itself, like a meteor which follows its own path.
                                        -   Robert Schumann  -

                                          ...  Oportet Vivere ...
iolaire
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« Reply #13 on: February 26, 2021, 03:43:54 AM »

Sorry for even more stress PrimeTimer.

You have zero obligation to talk to a lawyer if you don’t want to. You have your own right to choose representation or not regardless of who is paying. 
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Transplant July 2017 from out of state deceased donor, waited three weeks the creatine to fall into expected range, dialysis December 2013 - July 2017.

Well on dialysis I traveled a lot and posted about international trips in the Dialysis: Traveling Tips and Stories section.
Simon Dog
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« Reply #14 on: February 26, 2021, 06:14:59 AM »

Why the reluctance to take disability?

If you are eligible and you don't have to quit a job, why leave money on the table?   Remember, it is not welfare but collecting on an insurance policy you have been paying for through your SS payroll dedictions.

The good news is that if you apply later you get it retroactive to date of disability.
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PrimeTimer
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« Reply #15 on: February 26, 2021, 11:45:30 AM »

It's been a long time since I have worked but I started paying into Social Security with my first job at the age of 12. I am now 56. I am very leery about speaking to a lawyer paid for by in-laws. It's the whole ball of wax  -being told what to do as if I am stupid and being told what to do because these other people are paying for food on our table and a roof over our heads. They think it gives them the right to tell us what to do and if we don't, then we are being irresponsible and ridiculous and don't want to help us. While I understand their point of view it still leaves me with feeling like garbage and without control over my own life anymore. Nobody in the so-called family has even bothered to ask me what I think about this or even how I feel. Decisions are made without my input. But they treat my husband this way too. Heck, they treat everyone this way! First they do what they want to do and THEN tell you what they did. Even if it's not their place and despite being told to stop doing things like that.

I am also so damn exhausted and sick that just the thought of having to be on the phone, making appointments, explaining things, going to appointments and speaking to my doctors about this (because it will also create work for them too) has me super stressed and well, feeling more ill. These past few months have been hell. And thanks to Covid lockdowns, the months before that were no picnic either. Every time I need to see one of my own doctors or go for labs, some crisis hits that involves something more serious with my husband. It's not his fault but I've had to cancel or delay my own appointments. If I should start the application process for disability I am afraid it will only end up getting delayed or put off for "other reasons/problems" like I've already been experiencing. For instance, I could have possibly started a new treatment a month ago but need more tests but nope, hubby was in the hospital and I had no transportation or money. Now here it is again but....again, have to delay because altho hubby finally came home from the hospital he hasn't been allowed to walk on the foot that had surgery for at least 3-4 weeks. So again, still no transpo or money. A brother loaned me money to get a cheap used car but it takes two to use a rental and go looking for one, etc...Had to reschedule my appointments (again). For some reason I don't see a lawyer and my doctors taking too kindly being asked to help me apply for disability when I can't even keep appointments. Like I said, it's the whole ball of wax. I'm dead tired now.
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Husband had ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his care-partner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
After more than 150 days of being hospitalized with complications from Diabetes, my beloved husband's heart stopped and he passed away 06-08-21. He was only 63.
PrimeTimer
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« Reply #16 on: February 26, 2021, 02:51:04 PM »

My husband just got home from the doctor. He has to stay off his foot for another 4-6 weeks. The surgical wound is healing but not completely closed yet. Going to take a lot to wrap my head around this one. 
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Husband had ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his care-partner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
After more than 150 days of being hospitalized with complications from Diabetes, my beloved husband's heart stopped and he passed away 06-08-21. He was only 63.
kristina
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« Reply #17 on: March 01, 2021, 01:31:04 AM »

Hello PrimeTimer, I am very sad for these distressing news of yours and just want you to know that I think of you both in these difficult times and hope for a good outcome. Best wishes from Kristina. :grouphug;
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Bach was no pioneer; his style was not influenced by any past or contemporary century.
  He was completion and fulfillment in itself, like a meteor which follows its own path.
                                        -   Robert Schumann  -

                                          ...  Oportet Vivere ...
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