I had to put my dog down today. I'm heartbroken

[kickingandscreaming]

It’s with a very heavy heart that I tell you all that my beloved dog, Roxie, is no more. I loved her with all my heart. She was 16 years and 4 month old so I must have done something right.  Her last couple of years were fraught because of a slide into dementia and arthritis.  So saying good bye to her is a mixed blessing.  She is free now. No more pain.  But I am exquisitely alone.  When she was at her prime, she was a wonderful companion and a very, very sweet soul.  A wonderful dog.  My last dog.  I am a dog person.  It’s hard for me to feel whole without a canine friend at my side. But I don't feel like I can do it again.

This afternoon, I took Roxie to the park for a walk.  Little did I know at the time that it would be our last.  We had only been there briefly when I looked over at her and saw her struggling to stand up.  Her hind quarters had given out.  She had had this issue before, but always snapped out of it.  So I was hoping.  I managed to get her back to the car and then home.  She was still struggling but was also quite stoic.  I thought we might ride it out.  But it was clear she needed help.  All the vets were closed so I took her to an emergency vet who told me that her hind leg/hip was out of its socket and there wasn’t much to do except set it and give her pain meds, but the issue was likely to happen again and again.  We discussed putting her down.  I didn’t wake up this morning with the thought that today would be my last day with my best friend, but life has a way of throwing curves.  I decided that the time had come— as painful as it was to come to terms with that.

So we both move on: Roxie to Rainbow Bridge where she can run free once again and me?  To who knows what.  Needless to say, I am heartbroken and bereft.

Please send your good thoughts to Roxie as she travels the last leg of her trip through life.  She was the best.  And she was my reason for stayng alive. I'm so sad.

[Cupcake]

My sincere condolences to you and Roxie. Remember the good times.

[Marilee]

My words are inadequate, but my heart truly is with you.
I am sad, so sad for your sorrow. We, too, share our lives with beloved dogs and have had to make the hard calls at their endings. It is a raw, lonely, profound time, those endings.
How blessed you were to share life and love with Roxie.

[PrimeTimer]

So very sorry for your loss. Roxie was lucky to have you as her human. 

[Blake nighsonger]

So sorry to hear about the loss of your dear dog. I know how much she meant to you.      Thank you for letting us know .

[Naynay99]

I’m so sorry.  I know how much our pets became family and losing them is tough. 

[Michael Murphy]

 I know the loss of a pet hurts,  in the last year I lost 3 cats I had for almost 20 years.  But I gave them the best life I could and have the memories of the time they shared with me. You fed and played with your companion, you shared a bond of love.  The reason it hurts so much is that you allowed that dog into your life and their life was improved by the bond and so was yours.  While you should be sad please celebrate the time you had together. In time the joy of your memories will outweigh the pain of your profound loss. Grieve but remember the wonderful life you gave your pet.

[Simon Dog]

I am so sorry to hear about Roxie.   I lost my buddy Simon last Christmas so I know how it feels.

[Paul]

I'm sorry, so very very sorry to hear that. My condolences to you, and my best wishes to Roxie.

Can I just suggest that after a while you rethink "It’s hard for me to feel whole without a canine friend at my side. But I don't feel like I can do it again." My father, who lost his dog when he was well into his eighties, decided he was too old to get another dog. Eventually, after some time, he changed his mind and took on a rescue dog, and the change in him was amazing. He is not someone who can live happily without a dog by his side, and I suspect you are the same.

[Charlie B53]

Prayers for Roxie and you as well.

We lost 2 of our three dogs early Spring last year.  Both to age.  We were distraught to say the least.  Having the one still helped emensely

Wife says that once this dog is gone we won't have another.  We will see.  What's meant to be will be.

Like Paul said, Rescue Dogs are a great idea. Two of ours came from there, and both of our cats as well.  They all seem to know that we have saved them from distruction.  They are very loviong.

So don't sell yourself short.  Give it time, you do have to heal some yet.

Take Care,

Charlie B53

[kickingandscreaming]

Thank you eveyone.

To Paul:  It's not my age that stops me, or my fear of the inevitable loss and grief.  It's my health.  I have had quite a few sudden hospitalizations in the last year or 2 and each one was made far more traumatic because I worried about my dog the whole time.  I'm alone.  No one else here. My ongoing health issues and the threat of my death or serious disability that would leave my dog totally in the lurch is   what prevents me from taking on another relationship like this.  I take this relationship very seriously.  I really love my dogs and I wouldn't want to cause such distress of dying and leaving my dog to the horrors of a shelter and who knows what else.  I know that I anthropomorphize but that is only a reflection of how deep my bond is.

PS.  I have mostly adopted rescue dogs(6 out of 7).  I couldn't do otherwise.  I know how wonderful they are.

[Marilee]

Now that I'm in my 60s and hubby is in his 70s, I often fast-forward to the days when it'll likely be "just me". I think that I cannot bring another pet into my life then because I might end up in the hospital and there'd be no one to take care of them, so I think it's better to be alone.
 
But when that time comes, I may have a change of heart because of groups out there like this one: http://petsforseniors.org/who-we-are/ that connect seniors (or others who need help from time to time) with the pets that nobody else wants. It's a way to give better days to the senior dogs and cats that have been given up by their previous families, and also provide a 'safety net' for those doing the adopting (i.e. the organization will help if/when needed).

In the mean-time, I keep an "In Case of Emergency" letter in my purse that tells first responders about my dogs, my neighbor and a friend who does animal rescue because I can count on their help in an emergency. I've provided for my dogs in my will, too.

[LorinnPKD]

K&S, I am so sorry to hear about Roxie.  I've always loved your comments about your bond with Roxie. She was a Very Good Girl!  You were her champion and protector.  I know right now there is a Roxie-sized part of your heart that is missing. Her love and kindness is your inheritance and you'll have it always.

Marilee has a good idea about groups that specifically help seniors.  We have a similar group in my town.  I completely understand not wanting to outlive your companion, but to be able to give a homeless dog even a little of what Roxie had may be one last gift to Roxie. There are also foster programs where you can keep a dog for a short time until it finds the right adopter, and it can be so rewarding.  It sounds like you have a real gift with dogs and could be a real blessing to one.

Dogs are the best people.

Thinking of you and Roxie today.

[Paul]

It's not my age that stops me

I didn't mean to infer it was your age. I simply mentioned my father's age, because that was his reason. However his reason was actually the same as your reason, he was afraid of dying of old age and leaving the dog alone. He had two solutions to this:

Firstly he adopted a dog that was not young. Not only does this decrease the possibility of him dying before him, but the older the dog the harder it is to find it a home, so the shelter is happier with him than with other rescuers.

Secondly he made arrangements with another dog owner that they would take his dog if he died first, and vice versa.

If you decide to go for another dog, the problems are solvable. I know you are worried about him/her ending up in a shelter, but remember - if you collect a rescue dog, you are taking that dog out of a shelter and giving him/her a home, even if only for a little while. If you don't adopt it, then one less dog gets a home, and spends its life in a shelter, so a dog will loose more if you don't adopt than a dog would loose if you adopted then died before the dog.

[cassandra]

I'm very sorry for your loss KaS, and wish Roxie a safe journey


   




Love, luck and strength, Cas

[MooseMom]

I am heartbroken on your behalf.  I am so, so sorry.

I know that when you are ready, you will make whichever decision regarding getting another dog that will bring you the most peace.

[kristina]

Dear K&S, I am so sorry about your terrible loss and I am thinking of you and send you my heartfelt condolences from Kristina.

[Rerun]

Furbabies are the best things that happen to us.  They make us laugh everyday except the one.  The last day.  I'm so sorry.  I wish you lived closer you could share mine. 

 

[justagirl2325]

I'm sorry for your loss too, she looked like a lovely dog.

[kitkatz]

So sad. They take a piece of your heart when they go.

[kickingandscreaming]

A big, big piece of my heart.

Thank you to everyone who commented. My house and my heart feel very empty these days.  For Roxie's last almost 2 years, she was falling into dementia (she was over 16 which is quite old for a dog her size.).  During those years there was a progressive loss of her personality, intelligence and desire to be in contact.  It was very very hard on me.  But through it all she remained a sweet heart. But her gradual withdrawal, although very painful to me, also prepared me for losing her.  In a sense, I was pre-grieving for nearly 2 years.  That softened the blow a bit when she was fully no longer here.  I really miss not having her soft ears to pet and her sweet face to look at and admire.  She was a wonderful friend for many years.  And for that, I'm extremely grateful.

[kristina]

Dear K&S,
It is very sad to lose such a dear friend like Roxy and it is also very lucky to have been with such a dear and lovely friend for many years and I am so glad that you have come to look at it in that way.
I am thinking of you and send you my best wishes from Kristina. 

[LorinnPKD]

Hi K&S, I was just thinking of you and Roxie this morning -- wishing you well.

[Michael Murphy]

Was thinking about your post and looked up care for dog if you were hospitalized.  Found out there are places and people who will handle this for you, many shelters will find a foster family for your pet when you are hospitalized, in some places Meal on Wheels will stop by feed and walk you pet.  If you check with your vet he or she may be able to tell you what’s available.

[kickingandscreaming]

Thank you.  I'm still in a lot of pain.  I miss her very much.