This is really bothering me

[Falkenbach]

This has been big news here, not sure if it's been reported overseas. The reason it bothers me so much is kind of two-fold - first, the sheer tragedy of it and second, the fact that the I know the mother of one of the girls via internet and I spent the whole week they were missing thinking (and even voicing my opinion, stupid, careless, thoughtless me) that they would be home within days, just fine. I thought they were just at a friend's place having a teenage tantrum or something (I didn't word it like that) and that they would be home real soon. Then the news hit of this "suicide pact" and I was just dumbfounded.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21603165-421,00.html?from=public_rss

Police confirm teens' deaths

April 23, 2007 07:04am


Girls were missing for a week
Both had taken their own lives
Internet may hold clue to deaths

TWO teenage girls missing for a week were found dead in bushland in the Victorian Dandenong Ranges yesterday.

Police said Jodie Gater and Stephanie Gestier, both 16, took their own lives.

The girls, from Belgrave, had not been seen since they told their parents they were going shopping in Ringwood on Sunday last week.

Their parents had pleaded for the girls, who had known each only for about six months, to return home, but their worst fears became a reality when the two bodies were found in scrub near Walbundry Ave, Ferntree Gully.

Sgt Andrew Herdman, of Belgrave police, said a man found the bodies on his property about 2.45pm.

Father handed out flyers

Hopes were raised a day earlier when Jodie's father Robert Gater handed out flyers seeking information about the girls outside Melbourne's Crown casino.

People told him they had seen the girls near the casino about 30 minutes earlier.

But the report proved false with police revealing the girls died several days ago.

Internet may hold clues

Mr Gater went public last week in a desperate plea for his daughter and her friend.

He feared the internet could hold a key to their disappearance.

Jodie's MySpace site has a heading that reads: "Let Steph n me b free".

It also has a message written by Jodie to a friend.

"I luv u sooo soo much allan. miss u heaps xoxoxoxo. I will always remember you," it says.

Jodie last used the site the day before she disappeared. But Mr Gater said she had shown no signs that anything might be wrong.

Mr Gater said Jodie recorded a new voicemail message on her phone after she disappeared, which he described as disturbing.

"It is her speaking. She'd never set it up before so it's only been set up in the last couple of days," he said.

Residents shocked

The grim discovery shocked residents in Walbundry Ave.

Neighbour Garry Dickeson said he was upset by the tragedy.

"I feel for their parents," he said.

Police will prepare a report for the coroner.

With The Daily Telegraph and Herald Sun

[Sluff]

So tragic, I don't understand what would drive someone to this point at 16 years old. I lost a friend at about the same age who took his own life. There are no answers sometimes.

[goofynina]

We never goes on in the mind of these kids nowadays, i am feuding with my 16 year old Goddaughter because she is insisting on being with this little wannabe thug that abuses her everyway possible but to her, he is her world, so i have sadly disowned her, i couldnt take the stress of seeing her unhappy all the time.  She is still with him and she knows her Nina is still here for her, just not while he is in her life.  God Bless those girls and hopefully He forgives them for taking their own lives.  Poor babies never even had a chance to enjoy what life was truly about.  thanks for sharing that Cycobully. 

[Duane]

It's always sad to read stories like this one. I pray for God's blessing and Love to over shadow their family and yours. May the peace of God rest on your heart today and forever.

[jbeany]

cycobully, it wasn't stupid, careless or thoughtless to try to reassure a friend that her child was okay.  Tragic that it didn't turn out that way, but not thoughtless to try to help her when she was upset.

, so i have sadly disowned her, i couldnt take the stress of seeing her unhappy all the time. She is still with him and she knows her Nina is still here for her, just not while he is in her life.

Nina, can I relate my own experience on this?  My father started dating a horrible woman.  The rest of the family hated her so much that they refused to see either one of them.  I was the only one still in contact with him.  When they finally ended the relationship (because of the cops, an assult charge, and a court order, but that's looooong story), I was the only one my father was able to turn to for comfort.  The breach with the rest of the family still hasn't fully healed.  He's been unable to totally forgive them for cutting him off, even if they were right about his girlfriend.  Please don't cut her out of your life, Nina - or she won't think she can come to you when she needs you the most.

[goofynina]

I appreciate what you are saying JBeany but if you only knew the whole story.  I must sadly admit that since i have "cut her out of my life" i have been having less headaches and heartaches,  my stress level has came waaay down (and probably my blood pressure too) and i have a better relationship with my mother (she has full custody of this "child")  where as before, i couldnt even talk to my mother because it would always end up a conversation about Lil Susie then a very heated arguement,  now, i can talk to my mom and not have to worry about what she is going to complain about Lil Susie now.  She doesnt say nothing, and i dont ask nothing, it seems to be working out for the best.   Lil Susie knows i will always be here, i just refuse to be in her life as long as she has that PUNK in her life as well.  I am sure its just a matter of time before he gets locked up or he finds someone else (again) KIDS, UGH 

[Sara]

That's really sad.     You supported your friend, and people have to keep hope that their loved ones are still alive when they go through times like this.  I'm sorry for their families. 

[Falkenbach]

Thanks everyone - I shouldn't give them impression that this is a huge personal impact on me, I should clarify - I know the mother only via internet. For a number of years she's been a member of a dog mailing list that I am also a member of. But the news sure did knock me around a bit, all the same. The second I heard it, I just covered my face and shook my head, I just couldn't believe it.

I have sent a sympathy card to the mother and now backed well away, to give the family room and peace, in order for them to grieve.