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Author Topic: Lost a Brother Today  (Read 2960 times)
Charlie B53
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« on: August 31, 2017, 08:56:27 PM »

Little Sister called me a few hours ago. Seems one of our Brothers, the one just before me (the #2) was at the VA Hospital Seattle this morning for minor surgery to remove some possibly pre-cancerous tumors in his chest.  His #2 Daughter and #3 Son had driven him over from Yakima for this 'Same Day' surgery.  May have had another massive heart attack as he passed away prior to even beginning surgery.  His #1 Dau has already flown up from CA and tells me that the VA will do the autopsy and provide cremation after harvesting at least the corneas, possibly more.

Conrad had a massive heart attack a few years ago.  We almost lost him then except the Dr's installed some sort of heart-assist balloon in his aorta that inflated immediately after every heart beat to assist in pushing the blood along.  He has never been the same since.  Never regained much of any strength or energy.

This sucks.  I am the one of the 4 of us boys that has most of the medical problems.  I always thought that it would be me.  I guess God has something for me to do yet.

No services planned other than immediate family has gotten together there.  Still not sure yet if any type of even semi-formal service will be held.  Cost is always a factor.  Funeral services are a racket. Most families are not thinking well and don't really take much time to 'shop' and compare costs, expenses, they just want to get it done, and get raped financially.  A dear old lady friend recently passed.  The local parlor charged her Daughter $8,000 for embalming and preparation, simple viewing services, no graveside.  With the casket, concrete crypt, 'opening and closing', it was slightly over $42,000.  Wife and I both decided to be cremated within 24 hours, no embalming required.

I have Dialysis treatments I cannot miss, also living on Social Security it isn't really an easy thing to just take off and be there.  I've talked with most everyone already.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2017, 09:00:07 PM by Charlie B53 » Logged
smartcookie
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« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2017, 07:07:05 AM »

I am so sorry, Charlie!  I will keep you and your family in my prayers. 
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I am a renal social worker.  I am happy to help answer questions, but please talk to your clinic social worker for specifics on your particular situation.
kickingandscreaming
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« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2017, 08:44:33 AM »

Very sorry for your loss, Charlie.  It's always sobering to lose a sibling.
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Diagnosed with Stage 2 ESRD 2009
Pneumonia 11/15
Began Hemo 11/15 @6%
Began PD 1/16 (manual)
Began PD (Cycler) 5/16
iolaire
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« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2017, 09:13:58 AM »

Sorry for your loss.
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Transplant July 2017 from out of state deceased donor, waited three weeks the creatine to fall into expected range, dialysis December 2013 - July 2017.

Well on dialysis I traveled a lot and posted about international trips in the Dialysis: Traveling Tips and Stories section.
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Going through life tied to a chair!

« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2017, 09:42:23 AM »

Charlie, I am so sorry for your loss.  The SMOKE from the wildfires here in WA are horrible.  None of us are breathing clean air and our hearts are struggling.  I wonder if that had anything to do with your brother's health.  I'm so sorry.  Prayers to your and your family.

 :pray;
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justagirl2325
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« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2017, 09:53:10 AM »

Sorry for you loss Charlie.
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Xplantdad
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Health is not valued till sickness comes. T.Fuller

« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2017, 10:12:29 AM »

So Sorry for your loss Charlie. Losing a family member just stinks :(


I just had to be an advocate for our next door neighbor (whose relative passed away). The local Funeral home/cemetery proceeded to "rape" them as well.  Two days later (with clear minds) they asked to cancel and rethink the whole deal. The place said no.

I read all of the contracts and saw that there was a 7 day cancellation clause. I went with them/recorded the meeting and asked them to cancel...and without any issues they cancelled.

Amazing....
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My name is Bruce and I am the caregiver for my daughter Holly who is 26 years old and received her kidney transplant on December 22, 2016 :)
Holly's Facebook Kidney  page: https://www.facebook.com/Hollys.transplantpage/

Holly had a heart transplant at the age of 5 1/2 months in 1990. Heart is still doing GREAT!  :thumbup;
Holly was on hemodialysis for 2.5 years-We did NXStage home hemo from January 2016 to December 22, 2016
Holly's best Christmas ever occurred on December 22, 2016 when a compassionate family in their time of grief gave Holly the ultimate gift...a kidney!
cassandra
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When all else fails run in circles, shout loudly

« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2017, 10:23:41 AM »

I'm sorry for your loss Charlie

Lots of love, and stay strong, Cas



    :grouphug;
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
kristina
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« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2017, 01:31:16 PM »

Dear Charlie,
Words seem so inadequate but I am truly sorry for your loss
and I send you my sincere condolences.
Thinking of you at this sad time,
Kristina.
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Bach was no pioneer; his style was not influenced by any past or contemporary century.
  He was completion and fulfillment in itself, like a meteor which follows its own path.
                                        -   Robert Schumann  -

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Jean
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« Reply #9 on: September 01, 2017, 02:11:11 PM »

So sorry for your loss Charlie.Just as an aside, there is a "legitimate" company which will come and take the body, use it for instruction, cremate it and return it to the family for absolutely free, no charge. They are very respectful of the family and the deceased. Hubby and I are already signed up. Science Care.com. Just write it down and look it up when you are feeling like it. They will take any one except those who pass due to Hep C

Not much fun talking about your own demise. Again, so sorry for your loss.
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One day at a time, thats all I can do.
OldKritter
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« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2017, 05:05:23 AM »

I'm sorry for your loss
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SooMK
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« Reply #11 on: September 02, 2017, 07:30:52 AM »

I'm so sorry Charlie.

I hear you about the funeral industry. There are groups pushing back on this model offering different options. But that means they have to be researched before there is a need for them. Not many people have the heart to do this at the time it's needed.
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SooMK
Diagnosed FJHN/UKD 2009
Transplant April 2014
Michael Murphy
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« Reply #12 on: September 02, 2017, 07:55:39 AM »

There is not much one can say to ease the pain caused by the passing of a family member.  You and your family are in my prayers. 
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Charlie B53
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« Reply #13 on: September 03, 2017, 06:22:02 AM »


I was reading when I  got the call.  I was on the very LAST PAGE of the book '90 Minutes In Heaven'.  I am not worried about Him one bit.  Acually I am quite relieved of his passing for he is no longer suffering with a disabled body, he is restored and healthy again.

Not this book but from many of the others I have studied I know that we will all be together once again, healthy capable, and joyous.  Even those of us that have not found redemption during this life and have to spend some time in purgatory, all will one day be ultimately forgiven and rejoice together with our Maker once He again conquers the Devil, unchains and throws him into the pit forever.
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« Reply #14 on: September 03, 2017, 01:46:24 PM »

Sorry for your loss, Charlie. Losing a loved one is the hardest. Sometimes our faith is tested. Mine sure has been, many a time. And especially these days but that's another story. I try to think like you, that our loved ones are now at peace and happy and "restored". That is a very good way of describing it. "Restored". Some of the loved ones I have lost have come to me in the form of dreams. In these dreams they speak to me and in other dreams they are just "there". They look the best they've ever looked and seem very happy. Some are excited and want me to know they are in a wonderful place. Sometimes they have even asked me to join them but I tell them "not yet". I try to believe them, tho about "this wonderful place". Once dreamt of a loved one who had passed. She was standing alone somewhere and when she turned around to see "who was coming", she smiled real big and said, "Oh, it's you!". And then there was three of them, all had passed, standing together all happy and smiling. I woke up from that dream feeling good about it. So yes, we can find peace in that and I hope you do. 
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Husband has ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his carepartner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
kitkatz
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« Reply #15 on: September 03, 2017, 08:26:31 PM »

The news of your loss is heart wrenching.  Love to your family and yourself during this trying time.
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Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
Vt Big Rig
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« Reply #16 on: September 05, 2017, 05:56:17 PM »

Sorry for your loss, Charlie
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VT Big Rig
Diagnosed - October 2012
Started with NxStage - April 2015
6 Fistula grams in 5 months,  New upper fistula Oct 2015, But now old one working fine, until August 2016 and it stopped, tried an angio, still no good
Started on new fistula .
God Bless my wife and care partner for her help
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