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Author Topic: Silly Riddles  (Read 10654 times)
kitkatz
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« on: February 01, 2017, 09:38:28 PM »
Why do eggs not appreciate jokes?

It cracks them up.
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
Simon Dog
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« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2017, 10:21:26 PM »
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the forrest?
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Rerun
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Going through life tied to a chair!
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2017, 09:38:53 AM »
Can vegetarians eat Animal Crackers?
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Riki
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« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2017, 10:43:26 AM »
If a dog sweats with it's tongue, what are it's armpits for?
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Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
transplant - May 22, 2001- May 2004
dialysis - May 2004-present
PD - May 2004-Dec 2008
HD - Dec 2008-present
Rerun
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« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2017, 12:20:33 PM »
How many animals did Moses put on the Ark??
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Simon Dog
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« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2017, 05:48:01 PM »
Quote from: Rerun on February 03, 2017, 12:20:33 PM
How many animals did Moses put on the Ark??
A classic, right up there with "If a plane crashes on the US/Canada border, and the passengers are all Mexican, in which country do they bury the survivors?".
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Rerun
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« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2017, 07:51:35 PM »
Thus the topic...

    :rofl; 
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Riki
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« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2017, 10:01:02 PM »
If you live in a house with 4 walls, and all walls face south, who are you?
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Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
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Riki
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« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2017, 10:05:18 PM »
Here's another one I like.. just cuz it's a bit of a thinker

You're driving a bus.  At the first stop, 3 people get on.  At the second stop, 2 people get off, and 5 get on.  At the third stops, 4 people get off and 2 get on.  What color is the bus driver's eyes?
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Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
transplant - May 22, 2001- May 2004
dialysis - May 2004-present
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Simon Dog
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« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2017, 06:04:07 AM »
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
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Charlie B53
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« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2017, 06:14:30 AM »

I'm going to Hell for this one.

Why aren't the Seattle Fairyboats in San Francisco?
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Rerun
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« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2017, 08:20:52 AM »
 :rofl;  :rofl;

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cassandra
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When all else fails run in circles, shout loudly
« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2017, 10:37:55 AM »
What did the monkey think when he gave birth to the first human?
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
2020 start Gambro AK96

       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
Rerun
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« Reply #13 on: February 06, 2017, 12:13:07 PM »
Quote from: cassandra on February 06, 2017, 10:37:55 AM
What did the monkey think when he gave birth to the first human?

 :rofl;
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Simon Dog
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« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2017, 09:40:10 AM »
Which came  first, the chicken or the egg?

I say the chicken, since the chicken had to get laid before the egg could be laid.
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Charlie B53
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« Reply #15 on: February 07, 2017, 03:29:28 PM »

Are you SURE?

It may be possible that a Lizard egg was genetically modified by radiation from a nearby meteor strike. A VERY strange creature emerged from that/those egg(s).. the nose(s) hardened, the rear legs were thinner, longer, the upper arms no longer had fingers, and the whole body began growing feathers.

Allakazam, presto-chango, the chicken (sort of) was born.
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Rerun
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« Reply #16 on: February 07, 2017, 03:43:33 PM »
Is a glass half full or half empty?
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Simon Dog
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« Reply #17 on: February 07, 2017, 04:51:36 PM »
Quote from: Charlie B53 on February 07, 2017, 03:29:28 PM
Are you SURE?
No.
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Riki
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« Reply #18 on: February 07, 2017, 08:13:12 PM »
You're lost in the woods in the middle of the night.  It's cold and dark.  You stumble upon a cabin.  Inside you find a match box with one match in it, an oil lamp, and a wood stove.  Which do you light first?
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Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
transplant - May 22, 2001- May 2004
dialysis - May 2004-present
PD - May 2004-Dec 2008
HD - Dec 2008-present
Rerun
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Going through life tied to a chair!
« Reply #19 on: February 08, 2017, 09:01:26 AM »
ahhh I know but don't want to ruin it.    :thumbup;
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Charlie B53
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« Reply #20 on: February 08, 2017, 09:06:28 AM »

I prefer to use my Zippo.
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cassandra
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When all else fails run in circles, shout loudly
« Reply #21 on: February 08, 2017, 09:10:51 AM »
The oillamp if there's oil in it?
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
2020 start Gambro AK96

       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
OldKritter
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« Reply #22 on: February 08, 2017, 12:20:25 PM »
the match -
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Xplantdad
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Health is not valued till sickness comes. T.Fuller
« Reply #23 on: February 08, 2017, 12:28:46 PM »
If you have 25 odds and ends on a table...and 24 fall off, what do you have left...an odd or an end?  :rofl;
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My name is Bruce and I am the caregiver for my daughter Holly who is 31 years old and received her kidney transplant on December 22, 2016 :)
Holly's Facebook Kidney  page: https://www.facebook.com/Hollys.transplantpage/

Holly had a heart transplant at the age of 5 1/2 months in 1990. Heart is still doing GREAT!  :thumbup;
Holly was on hemodialysis for 2.5 years-We did NXStage home hemo from January 2016 to December 22, 2016
Holly's best Christmas ever occurred on December 22, 2016 when a compassionate family in their time of grief gave Holly the ultimate gift...a kidney!
Jean
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« Reply #24 on: February 09, 2017, 01:07:58 AM »
I want answers, PLEASE!!!!
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One day at a time, thats all I can do.
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