I don't know how to feel

[pagandialysis]

There's a person in an operating room right now, their family is worrying about them and praying for their well being. If that person should die I might get their kidney in the morning, or I might not. It just seems so wrong to be excited about that.

 

[Deanne]

It's a very confusing feeling. Empathy for the other family and at the same time happy for a chance at an improved life. I tried to keep in mind that benefiting from the loss that the other family experienced doesn't mean I feel less about the pain the family is suffering. They were going to suffer regardless of me benefiting from the loss. From what I've read and heard from donor families, the felt better about the loss knowing that they were able to help someone else.

I try to remember their loss and remember live my life in a way that demonstrates respect for them.

[Charlie B53]

Look to your Faith that whatever will be, will be.  You can only control yourself, what ever else happens is beyond your control.

Yes, you can be saddened by the loss of a Family member, and at the same time be thankfully that are a donor by choice and you may be able to keep a small part of them alive, in you.

Like Deanne said. 'continue to live your life in a way that demonstrates respect for them."

Your mixed feelings are perfectly normal.  Do not be afraid to share them with the Family, you  may be surprised how they may understand.  Share your confusion.

[jeannea]

Yes, it's a paradox. However, you did not cause that person's death. If the family decides to offer you this gift it's because they want to do it. It's ok for you to accept it. At this point, I did not feel excitement so much as apprehension. My first transplant was living donor. I found the cadaver donor process to be a little overwhelming. To me it felt like I had lost a little control as well. Once I said yes to the organ I was just riding the roller coaster. I kept wanting to say Slow Down!

It's alright to feel conflicted. I hope that things go well for you and the kidney begins working. Try to enjoy the new feelings.

[Michael Murphy]

Remember the person signed a donor card and wanted something good to come from their death.  Yes it's sad but in the ultimate act of charity the person who died wanted to leave some person the ultimate gift.  Accepting the gift is in a way honoring the choice the deceased made of this final act of charity.  Feel sorry for the family and the deceased but rejoice in the knowledge that some people just want to help others even after they have passed on.

[Darthvadar]

Hi pagandialysis

I remember speaking with a lady who donated her son's organs... We got to talking about why she decided to donate... She replied 'Why not???... Whether or not I had agreed to the donation, he was still dead... He would have been no less dead if I hadn't!'

She was right... Yes, this is awful for the family... They ARE losing their loved one, but that person is not dying to give you a kidney... The person is dying, and something beautiful will come from that!... The poor unfortunate donor has died, and his/her family has a dreadful loss to deal with, but whether or not you get a kidney, that will not change!...

Hoping you get your miracle, and the donor family find comfort in their generous decision....

Love...

Darth...

[willowtreewren]

Would love an up-date.....

[pagandialysis]

I'm in the ICU and had my transplant yesterday. That's all I'm up to saying right now.

[jeannea]

Rest. Let yourself heal.

[Darthvadar]

Congratulations!!!...

Here's to a speedy recovery...

Onward and Upward!....

Darth...

[Michael Murphy]

I hope you and your new kidney have a long and happy life together.

[pagandialysis]

I'm going nuts but I've never been sooo happy to suffer for something.

[willowtreewren]

Don't rest TOO much. Walk as much as you can or are allowed. That is the fastest way to gain strength and heal!

AND, congratulations. 

Aleta

[MooseMom]

What a great holiday gift!!!

Happy New Year!!!  Fantastic!   

[cassandra]

Fantastic news!!!

     


Lots of love, and strength, and have an extra drink on me

     

[pagandialysis]

I'd love to Willow but they aren't helping me. I sat up at 9:45am and that was painful. I've been calling since 1:15pm for help and pain meds (it's 2:35pm) and no one is coming.

[willowtreewren]

I'd love to Willow but they aren't helping me. I sat up at 9:45am and that was painful. I've been calling since 1:15pm for help and pain meds (it's 2:35pm) and no one is coming.

Where ARE you? They were so supportive and solicitous when Carl had his TX. They wanted him to be walking as much as possible. It gets everything (read that digestion!) working better than anything else and a good poop was required before they would discharge him. Even after he got home, he walked in circles around the house.

 

I'm sorry you are hurting. Heal quickly, dear Pagan.

Alet

[jeannea]

I'm so sorry you're hurting. Of course it hurts but you should get your pain meds. Try to do some things. Roll over a little, sit up with help, brush your teeth. Keep asking for the help you need.

[pagandialysis]

So I've been at my sisters home for about a week now. Recovery is still rough but I'm doing alright.

[okarol]

So I've been at my sisters home for about a week now. Recovery is still rough but I'm doing alright.

Good to hear from you. 
Best wishes for healing and health!
Said a prayer for the donor family. 

[jeannea]

Glad to hear you're home. You're going to get through it.

[Simon Dog]

I'd love to Willow but they aren't helping me. I sat up at 9:45am and that was painful. I've been calling since 1:15pm for help and pain meds (it's 2:35pm) and no one is coming.

Call the hospital switchboard and ask for patient relations.  Once you explain the lack of response to them, stuff will start to happen.

Ooops.... too late, just notice you are home.    How many days were you in?

[pagandialysis]

Dec 29 - Jan5

[*kana*]

Congrats on your Kidney!

I'm not super religious and I stopped praying a long time ago, however, my good friend always tells me she and her entire church pray for me.  I get VERY upset and tell her to STOP praying for me to get a kidney.  Makes me feel like she/they are praying for someone to die to make my life better.  I get how you feel.