talker on Power of Attorney

[talker]

Ah yes, when and who makes the decision to 'pull the plug' (so to speak) on a dialysis patient or any person in a coma state.
Postings elsewhere speak of 'to old for dialysis', which actually should translate to 'being unaware of dialysis at any time'.
Short periods of memory lapses, is not the total criterion. Nor would a coma and dialysis be the final criterion.
Hard as it may be, any person, especially an older one, needs to have some one with "Power of Attorney' (POA).
Make that a notarized "Power of Attorney'.

Yes, some do recover from a coma. Yes, there have been numerous instances though, with long drawn out , expensive litigation.
So while one has all their senses, lucid, and active, take the necessary action to make a valid (POA) if getting major surgey, dialysis or just to have one.

talker

[jeannea]

Actually, it's better to have a Power of Attorney and a Health Care Power of Attorney. One is financial, one is healthcare. I have them and everything needed went smoothly when I was in a coma five years ago. The hospital knew what to do and the bank knew what to do. Everyone should have them, not just old or even ill people. Even married people. You should also have a living will. And here is the most important thing: TALK to the person so they know what you want. Otherwise, you get what they want.

[talker]

Actually, it's better to have a Power of Attorney and a Health Care Power of Attorney. One is financial, one is healthcare. I have them and everything needed went smoothly when I was in a coma five years ago. The hospital knew what to do and the bank knew what to do. Everyone should have them, not just old or even ill people. Even married people. You should also have a living will. And here is the most important thing: TALK to the person so they know what you want. Otherwise, you get what they want.

  my bad.   
Should have been even more precise as using 'Durable' and those you mention .
Mea Culpa

talker

[cattlekid]

Can you call my soon-to-be 88 year old grandmother and talk this sense into her?  We do not know if she has a financial POA or medical POA or living will/DNR.  Any time anyone tries to bring it up with her, she immediately shuts down and refuses to discuss the topic.  With nine children, if she doesn't have any of these documents, things are going to be a nightmare.

[willowtreewren]

Fortunately, my father made me his durable POA about 7 years ago. He has declined dramatically in the past couple months and I have had to take over all of his finances. Just now I got off the phone with the Nurse Practitioner at his nursing home. We were discussing the timing of when to change his care to palliative. All of this would have been a nightmare without that POA.

Aleta

[Simon Dog]

Hard as it may be, any person, especially an older one, needs to have some one with "Power of Attorney' (POA).
Make that a notarized "Power of Attorney'.

Depending on your state's laws, you may need a health care proxy, which is a separate document from power of attorney.

[estonb]

I know it is different from state to state, as well as dependent on your marital status. I have a partner, and when we entered into a "committed relationship" here in Texas we consulted an attorney and both drew up the following legal documents so that we were both  protected in case of any form of "tragedy" in our lives:

- Will
- Durable Power of Attorney (for access to each others financial accounts)
- Medical Power of Attorney (to give each other the legal right to make decisions if the other is Incapacitated and
                         can't make medical decisions for themselves)
- Directive to Physicians (specific directions that medical professionals are legally required to follow in specific circumstances)

We have yet to make a living revocable trust, but it is on our "to-do" list

[talker]

To all that had / took steps to create the mentioned documents             

Having done so, will avoid the need for making any heart breaking decisions under stressful conditions.   

talker

[jeannea]

Cattlekid, I would call and annoy the hell out of your grandmother until she found it easier to do it than listen to me. The real problem is if two kids disagree and then you have to go to court. Nightmare is right. Whichever offspring she likes best needs to schedule the appt with the attorney and take her there.

[talker]

Cattlekid, I would call and annoy the hell out of your grandmother until she found it easier to do it than listen to me. The real problem is if two kids disagree and then you have to go to court. Nightmare is right. Whichever offspring she likes best needs to schedule the appt with the attorney and take her there.

 

  Ditto 

 

[Darthvadar]

Our solicitor just visited Mum in hospital on Tuesday, and did all the paperwork for all of this (Thank you, Vincent!)...

I now possess an Enduring Power of Attorney... Big relief!...

One less thing to worry about!...

Love to all...

Darth...

[willowtreewren]

Darth,

I have been trying to get as much arranged now as possible. Judging from the fragility of my emotions now, I can hardly imagine the state I will be in once my dad dies. I do NOT want to have to make difficult decisions when I am an emotional mess.

Thinking of you as we traverse this difficult terrain.

Aleta

[Darthvadar]

Couldn't agree with you more, Aleta...

I may be 'performing' well now, but I expect to be a gibbering wreck when Mum dies!... The joys of caring, eh???...

Love to everyone travelling this route!...

Darth...

[estonb]

Something that hasn't really been addressed here is the power of having a LIVING REVOCABLE TRUST. This document is kind of similar to a will in that, once a person dies, the items in the trust are "passed on" to the other owners of the trust. It differs from a will in that the items listed in the trust are automatically passed on, WITHOUT THE NEED TO FIRST GO THROUGH THE PROBATE PROCESS, which can cost a lot of money and take a lot of time.Think about these advantages when it comes to passing down a house or a car or a savings account or anything substantial to someone other than your spouse. A living revocable trust allows the items in the trust to simply be passed down, compared to if these items where simply just put in a will - they would all have to go through probate court before they could legally be passed down to their new, rightful owners.

Just one more document I think it very important to have when preparing for end of life scenarios.

[jeannea]

A living revocable trust is more complicated and often needs a more specialized attorney. It is only needed in some financial and legal circumstances. For my life, it is not needed. My parents have some things in trust, some not. I got my will, living will, power of attorney, and healthcare power of attorney for about $200 in lawyer fees in about 2005. Trust documents cost more.

[estonb]

Yes, jeanna, trust documents typically cost more that other documents - but they prevent a whole of headache and time and, yes, lots of wasted money on attorney and court fees for those left behind when a person dies when their are things to be passed down to others.

[Darthvadar]

Oh, and if you only have one person with a POA entitling them to make care decisions for you, try to have a second lined up, just in case your first person becomes incapacitated....

A good friend, and our solicitor (also a good friend!) have agreed to take on that responsibility should I lose the capacity to do it....

Reassuring that she'll have people who know her well, and care about her will make those decisions should the need arise...

Darth...