Anything you can do I can do better

[Deanne]

Do you feel like you need to be an overachiever in the workplace to prove you're as good as your coworkers? Or is it just me? No one has said a single negative thing to me about anything, but I still feel like they're probably watching to make sure I'm productive at work. We've had layoffs before and I don't want my name to come up if they do it again. So I'm often one of the first to volunteer to cover for coworkers when they'll be gone, or for special projects, and I try to respond immediately to email.

An in-person "mandatory" meeting is scheduled in December and I hate it that I had to tell them I won't be there because it draws attention to being on dialysis. I know it's possible to travel on dialysis, but it's just too much cr*p to haul across the country for a one-day meeting.

[MooseMom]

Are you asking this as a general question or as a question for dialysis patients?

If it's the former, yes, I felt that way while I was working because I was the only female in the history of the company to work on the broking floor as a broker and not as a secretary.  Plus, I was the only American ever to have worked there.  But I think the pressure I felt was self-imposed.  My co-workers were great, actually.

This probably doesn't answer your question.

[Deanne]

As a dialysis patient, wondering if others feel the need to put more pressure on themselves to compensate. I think it's pretty much the same as you experienced as the sole woman on the broker floor. I've been the sole woman in jobs before, too, and it feels much the same. "I'm noticably different from you in some way, so I need to prove that I'm better than you so you think I'm your equal."

[noahvale]

As a dialysis patient, wondering if others feel the need to put more pressure on themselves to compensate. I think it's pretty much the same as you experienced as the sole woman on the broker floor. I've been the sole woman in jobs before, too, and it feels much the same. "I'm noticably different from you in some way, so I need to prove that I'm better than you so you think I'm your equal."

Absolutely and I relished doing so. 

When I started dialysis in 1978, 98% of the country had no idea what it was.  I took it on myself to not only show I could do all things as any peer, but to be a role model for other kidney patients.  Interestingly, I felt the most pressure when an NKF of GA staff member.  During that time period I was an anomaly to the NKF's fundraising propaganda portraying dialysis patients as poor, pathetic and sorrowful souls who desperately need transplants to once again lead normal lives.  Although I took off on MWFs around 3:00 p.m. for treatment, I over compensated by working two-three times the amount of time needed to make up for the missed time (to be quite honest, that didn't bother me at all - I totally enjoyed what I was doing).  However, I also think I helped to change some folks negative perceptions of kidney patients on dialysis.  Now, I'm self-employed and the vast majority of people I deal with have no idea about my medical situation. 

Plus, I don't look sick.      

[Deanne]

Sometimes I don't like it. I want to be a slacker, but instead, I grit my teeth and ask for the next project. I know it's self-imposed. My manager and coworkers all tell me they think highly of me and so far they let me get working from home when overall working remotely isn't really allowed anymore. It just makes me pay even more attention to my performance so they continue to overlook it. With dialysis taking 10+ hours every night, being told I must drive into the office every day could push me into disability or partial disability.

[UkrainianTracksuit]

I agree with you on so many points, Deanne.

When I was a kid, where I come from, it was common for a “sick” child to receive a retirement or disability certificate.  It will state the reason for the certification is that the child is a “lifelong invalid”.  So, I’ve been retired since I’ve been a toddler! Anyways, as I grew up, I decided I wouldn’t let this stigma define me.  Even though it was a “carte blanche” to loaf, to me, it was a kick in the pants to prove I’m capable.

As a researcher, I’m not able to conduct field work in places I should due to my health.  For this reason, I feel there is a lot more pressure on me to work harder and devote more time to find sources without traveling to backwoods or "kidnap valley".  Before I took this term off to prep/start dialysis, I took on extra lectures, speaking arrangements, worked on more local conferences and naturally, offered more help to others in their areas.  The reason I did that was to show that even though I’m going to be considered “even ill-er” now, I am capable of excellent quality work.  I feel the onus is on me to show I’m normal like everyone else!  So, the short answer is yes, I find myself overachieving.