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Author Topic: Andy in the hospital  (Read 23610 times)
CebuShan
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« Reply #175 on: June 25, 2013, 01:54:03 PM »

Oh, DD, I wish I had the ability to make everything better for you both!
All I can do is say I'm so sorry and send lots of hugs your way.
   :grouphug;    :cuddle;    :grouphug;   :cuddle;
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Think GOD doesn't have a sense of humor?
HE created marriage and children.
Think about it! LOL!
MaryJoe
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« Reply #176 on: June 25, 2013, 03:01:36 PM »

Oh, DD, I am so sorry things are not better now that Andy is home.  Please do whatever is necessary to keep yourself safe - mentally, emotionally, physically.  I can't imagine the anguish all this is causing you and I wish there was something I could do to lessen your burden.  Hugs to you and Andy too for he must also be in intense emotional pain.

 :cuddle;   :cuddle;
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Whether the glass is half empty or half full is not as important as being thankful there's a glass and grateful there's something in it.
boswife
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us and fam easter 2013

« Reply #177 on: June 25, 2013, 06:11:19 PM »

Im glad you still have a clear vision (of healthy mind) for your life.  Partners can fog that and take away what we know to be right so keep fighting for yourself on this.  Im so dang sorry this is happening to you and wish it to have a fix somehow.  Love and prayers, jill
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im a california wife and cargiver to my hubby
He started dialysis April 09
We thank God for every day we are blessed to have together.
november 2010, patiently (ha!) waiting our turn for NxStage training
January 14,2011 home with NxStage
cassandra
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When all else fails run in circles, shout loudly

« Reply #178 on: June 26, 2013, 07:30:28 AM »

I do hope the job is 'helping' the both of you.

Lots of love, an strength Cas

      :grouphug;
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
RichardMEL
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« Reply #179 on: July 05, 2013, 04:49:10 AM »

So sorry to read all this ontinuing struggle and his actions, like with buying stuff and the CC plan is scary and yeah I am sure rational him would know that.

Wish I could give you hugs or some sort of advice that could help!
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
AnnieB
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« Reply #180 on: July 05, 2013, 03:16:20 PM »

DD, I am so sorry that you are going through this. It really sounds that Andy, in his current state, is not only self-destructing, but also doing everything he can to destroy what the two of you have. Don't let him drag you down with him. What I'm picking up from reading through your updates is how much you still love him, and how much this whole situation is tearing you up inside. You may need to step back, just to protect yourself, even if only temporarily. Know how many people here love you and are rooting for you to make it through this on the other side. I will be praying for you and sending lots of positive energy your way, like everyone else on IHD.  :grouphug;
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Jean
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« Reply #181 on: July 21, 2013, 03:47:18 PM »

DD you know we all care about you and worry about you. Don't let the feeling of " I am responsible for him" hold you back. Get into a shelter if you have to. At least you will be safe there. Andy is now beyond YOU caring for him and he needs help. This is the worst mess ever and I hope that it will resolve soon, so that you can have some sort of a life. Good luck dear and God Bless.
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One day at a time, thats all I can do.
boswife
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us and fam easter 2013

« Reply #182 on: July 21, 2013, 09:16:37 PM »

I've been thinking about you DD.. Hope things are better for the both of you.  Would love to hear how your doing when you get the chance.  Lots of love being sent to you ...  :grouphug;
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im a california wife and cargiver to my hubby
He started dialysis April 09
We thank God for every day we are blessed to have together.
november 2010, patiently (ha!) waiting our turn for NxStage training
January 14,2011 home with NxStage
natnnnat
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« Reply #183 on: July 21, 2013, 11:14:55 PM »

God, do I miss him. I knew I'd be lonely without him but I think I underestimated the depth of the loneliness.
Ach: tears. I hear ya. Terrible.
Quote
At least I know I CAN do dialysis alone if I have to... been doing it all month.  I mean, I've always done it alone but at least Andy was physically in the house then. I didn't realize how different it would feel in practice; however, the more practice I'm getting the more comfortable I am doing it alone. I guess people can acclimate to just about anything.
You can acclimatise and have and will again, but this aint over yet so don't give up.  More love from me to you  :grouphug;
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Natalya Sydney, Australia
wife of Gregory, who is the kidney patient: 
1986: kidney failure at 19 years old, cause unknown
PD for a year, in-centre haemo for 4 years
Transplant 1 lasted 21 years (Lucy: 1991 - 2012), failed due to Transplant glomerulopathy
5 weeks Haemo 2012
Transplant 2 (Maggie) installed Feb 13, 2013, returned to work June 17, 2013 average crea was 130, now is 140.
Infections in June / July, hospital 1-4 Aug for infections.

Over the years:  skin cancer; thyroidectomy, pneumonia; CMV; BK; 14 surgeries
Generally glossy and happy.

2009 - 2013 PhD research student : How people make sense of renal failure in online discussion boards
Submitted February 2013 :: Graduated Sep 2013.   http://godbold.name/experiencingdialysis/
Heartfelt thanks to IHD, KK and ADB for your generosity and support.
cariad
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What's past is prologue

« Reply #184 on: July 22, 2013, 02:39:31 PM »

How have things been, DD? Is Andy working again?

I think about you often, G tells me you have not posted any personal updates on FB.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
Desert Dancer
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« Reply #185 on: July 23, 2013, 09:20:00 PM »

I am sorry for being so stingy with the updates, but I know all of you can understand that sometimes Real Life pre-empts the online version and I've had to devote all my energy to it lately.

I find myself these days (cautiously) optimistic and I am (cautiously) happy to report that things seem to be turning around somewhat. Actually, they only just broke open in the last week to ten days. Andy is not completely himself again but he is starting to show through more and more; Sunday was the best day yet from start to finish. He has been working for several weeks now, regularly, and putting in 8-12 hour days depending on the job. Right now he's working through a temp agency but one of the companies they sent him to wants to hire him directly. He's still weighing that option - not crazy about the atmosphere or the hours - and did mention that he rather liked working for the temp agency. (I understand why, it's the reason I did so myself for over ten years.) At least he is getting out of the house and around people and has some structure and purpose to his days. It's a good thing, since he's still - for the most part - not leaving the house for any other reason. Except to shop. (To be fair, some of the money he's been spending - not all - are on tools he's required to have for the jobs he's been on. Things he used to own but gave away when we moved onto the boat. Sigh.)

He had been sleeping away all the hours he wasn't working but this weekend he finally stayed awake both days and took the initiative to get things accomplished. I woke up Sunday morning to an empty kitchen sink and he was outside fixing the front bumper of my car. When he was done with that he spent a few hours tearing apart his work van and getting it organized. I take that as a good sign, especially since he is making concrete plans for the future re: putting together his own welding rig. People who intend to check out don't generally make future plans, and certainly not with enthusiasm.

I've managed to persuade him to start eating real food for dinner again, mostly by just putting it in front of him and not giving him the cocoa krispies option in the first place. He's finally sleeping on his own, too, something he has not managed to do in well over seven months. He doesn't even need the melatonin anymore. I think that helps immensely.

There have been a few setbacks. The pharmacy shorted him on his pills last month and he ended up without them for four days. These are medications you absolutely CANNOT stop taking suddenly because there are very bad - even dangerous - effects to doing so. It showed. This month we counted the pills when he got them refilled to be sure that wouldn't happen again. There was another 'mood hiccup' when they switched him from one form of anti-depressant to the time-release version but that smoothed itself out. The lithium was giving him terrible hand tremors (not good for a weldor) so the doc lowered the dosage and has him taking them all at bedtime. That helped tremendously, too.

I got a lot of laughter out of him last week by showing him a steady stream of videos: Babies laughing, babies eating lemons for the first time, and Brazil's version of 'Candid Camera' (Camera Escondida). By this weekend there was even a little bit of the easy, teasing banter between us.

Perhaps I'm just being hopelessly hopeful but I find this all encouraging. The trick for me, then, is to not be lulled back into the old routines. It's too easy to say, "Oh, I finally have my life back" and slip back into not leaving the house myself but I am not allowing that to happen. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I am still trying to hit at least one AA meeting per day and have begun to make some friends just by virtue of showing up and becoming a familiar face. I'm actually the speaker at a women's meeting this Thursday. I was such a wreck when I began returning to meetings two months ago ("tore up from the floor up", as they say) but surprisingly it has been just like riding a bicycle. I really never forgot how to be sane and serene and have found that I've come up to speed rather quickly, though it's been surprisingly harder in some ways, too. Nothing that can't be overcome, though.

I've not opened my own account yet (I know!) not for lack of intent, just for lack of 'spare' funds to siphon off for that purpose. I have a lead on a part-time job that sounds like it might be a perfect fit (Peer Support Specialist for a recovery program) and so then I'd have a bit of income for myself that won't impact my disability.

Also (and this is HUGE): I finally managed to fix my own back. The physical therapist I went to was useless and completely disregarded any opinions I had as to what was wrong with my own body. SO... with just a few hours on Google and YouTube I put together my own physical therapy program and have been doing it faithfully every day. After only one week the pain - three years' worth of pain - was virtually gone. Within two weeks I found myself able to perform exercises and actions I haven't been able to do in years. Example? I can now put on my pants standing up, without having to lift up my right leg with my left hand and placing my leg in the pant leg. I can sit on the floor with my legs out in front of me, at a 90-degree angle, without propping myself up with my arms. I can do sit ups and leg lifts again. I can sit in chairs at meetings instead of on the floor on a pillow. Small things, but they are monumental to me. I worked so, so hard to accomplish this and I never, EVER gave up hope that if I just worked hard enough at it I could fix my back pain, and I always believed that tomorrow would be the day. And then suddenly, one day, it was.

What this means, of course, is I can move onto the next step: dancing again. That has been my goal all along. Now I think I'm finally ready, almost two years later than I'd hoped but I did it. It'll cost a little money for classes but it's important enough to me to be a priority - physically and mentally - so I'm going to do it.

In other news, our house was listed two weeks ago, which caused quite a bit of angst around here. We just found out on Thursday that it has been sold. How did we find out? The agent told me another inspector was coming to the house but instead it was actually the new owner who showed up.  And... he and his wife want to keep tenants in the place and rent it out. It's likely they'll raise the rent since they'll have to do a little work to it, but as long as it's modest and reasonable there's absolutely no reason we have to go anywhere. He was really impressed with how nicely we keep the place and I can't imagine they'd want to risk renting it out to someone else who could very well trash it. I can't even BEGIN to tell you what a relief this is.

So... a lot of good, not much bad, and no more ugly.  Just keeping the faith, taking it a day at a time and still marveling at the miracles that happen every time I allow people into my life. You'd think I'd've learned by now that reaching out is a good thing. Maybe this time the lesson will stick.

« Last Edit: July 23, 2013, 10:48:54 PM by Desert Dancer » Logged

August 1980: Diagnosed with Familial Juvenile Hyperurecemic Nephropathy (FJHN)
8.22.10:   Began dialysis through central venous catheter
8.25.10:   AV fistula created
9.28.10:   Began training for Home Nocturnal Hemodialysis on a Fresenius Baby K
10.21.10: Began creating buttonholes with 15ga needles
11.13.10: Our first nocturnal home treatment!

Good health is just the slowest possible rate at which you can die.

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty. The glass is just twice as large as it needs to be.

The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
galvo
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« Reply #186 on: July 23, 2013, 09:29:34 PM »

What a great update! I'm so happy at the improvement.
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Galvo
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

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« Reply #187 on: July 23, 2013, 09:46:22 PM »

 :2thumbsup; Really awesome about your back!
All good, and keeping up with your meetings keeps it real!
Thanks for catching up, hope things stay serene.  :cuddle;
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
MaryD
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« Reply #188 on: July 24, 2013, 04:52:58 AM »

Excellent news!            :flower;
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willowtreewren
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My two beautifull granddaughters

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« Reply #189 on: July 24, 2013, 04:57:20 AM »

Oh thank you, thank you! This was such a good read! I'm thrilled, dear DD. Onward and upward.
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
Mother to Meagan, who has PKD.
Partner for NxStage HD August 2008 - February 2011.
Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
Jean
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« Reply #190 on: July 24, 2013, 12:44:07 PM »

Great News!!!! Very happy for you. Keep up the good work!!!!
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One day at a time, thats all I can do.
RichardMEL
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« Reply #191 on: July 24, 2013, 09:46:06 PM »

Oh DD that sounds much more positive..... fingers crossed this continues!!!

 :clap;
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
cariad
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What's past is prologue

« Reply #192 on: July 26, 2013, 12:27:35 PM »

This news was a bloody good read. How impossibly stupendous that things have so turned around for you, DD. You've made your own luck, my dear, now enjoy it and long may it last. 
:cheer: :yahoo; :cheer: :yahoo; :cheer:
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
Angiepkd
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« Reply #193 on: July 28, 2013, 08:37:45 AM »

So, so happy to hear some positive news!  Keep on doing what you're doing!  Thanks for the update.  Sending prayers and hugs to you both!  :grouphug;
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PKD diagnosis at 17
Cancer May 2011, surgery and no further treatment but placed on 2 year wait for transplant
October 2011 first fistula in left wrist
April 2012 second fistula in upper arm, disconnect of wrist
January 2013, stage 5 ESRD
March 2013 training with NxStage home hemo
April 2013 at home with NxStage
April 2013 fistula revision to reduce flow
May 2013 advised to have double nephrectomy, liver cyst ablation and hernia repair. Awaiting insurance approval to begin transplant testing. Surgery in June.
June 2013 bilateral nephrectomy.
August 2013 finishing testing for transplant, 4 potential donors being tissue typed.
January 2014 husband approved to donate kidney for me
March 4th 2014 received transplant from awesome hubby. Named the new bean FK (fat kidney) lol!  So far we are doing great!
cassandra
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When all else fails run in circles, shout loudly

« Reply #194 on: July 28, 2013, 09:30:34 AM »



     :cheer:


Great news, keep up the good fight honey
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
MooseMom
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« Reply #195 on: July 28, 2013, 08:28:26 PM »

Oh, I'm so glad to hear some good news from you, DD.  Some real steps forward!  I'm particularly thrilled that your back problems have abated.  You can get back to some joyful dancing and can think straight now that the pain is gone.  Wonderful!
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
CebuShan
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« Reply #196 on: August 04, 2013, 07:58:02 AM »

   :clap;
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Think GOD doesn't have a sense of humor?
HE created marriage and children.
Think about it! LOL!
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