Andy in the hospital

[Desert Dancer]

He tried to kill himself yesterday. Using my dialysis needles to try to make himself bleed out. Luckily they kept clotting up and he didn't think of the heparin. When he lost enough blood to feel the effects he got scared and called me. It was the longest three miles I've ever driven, not knowing what he had done to himself except for "I've lost some blood", talking with a 911 dispatcher the whole time and begging them to break down the door if they had to.

He also quit his job on Saturday. It was his job - in very large part - that drove him to this.

He's now settled into a behavioral health ward of the hospital and has voluntarily agreed to stay inpatient for a week, though he's already trying to back off from it. I'm not taking him any clothes for that reason. I hope it doesn't come down to me having to commit him involuntarily but I will if I think I have to, though he may not forgive me for it for a good long while.

I have to go clean the bathroom now. It looks like someone was murdered in there and I just wasn't up to doing it at 2:00 AM when I got home.

I am not in a good place right now. The multiple repercussions from this are just too much for me to bear right now and I'm so tired of being strong.

[cariad]

Oh, Christ! Sweetheart, what a shock, what a nightmare.

I wish I were still in LA, I'd be back there in a nanosecond to hold your hand through this. I wish there were something I could do. You have phenomenal survival instincts my friend, do whatever you have to do to keep Andy where he is and keep yourself as calm as possible.

Do you need someone to talk to? I have a landline and a great rate but I don't know if you'd be charged for me to call you. I could Skype with you, just let me know if that would be of any use. I want to help.

[MooseMom]

Oh DD, please give Andy our regards.  I so hope that his hospital stay will be helpful.

Do take cariad up on her offer; I'm sure she can be of great assistance!

We are praying for you and Andy.

Please let us know if there is anything we can do at all to help.

I'm so terribly, terribly sorry.

[billybags]

Desert Dancer, I really feel for both of you. Andy must have been desperate to do this to him self and to you. To-morrow is another day. Sernding my prayers to you.

[willowtreewren]

Oh, noooooooo! How dreadful. 

Dear sweet DD, my heart is aching for you. I wish there were something I could do to ease your pain (and Andy's). He must also be in a very dark place. Please just take one step at a time. and breathe.

Aleta

[Darthvadar]

Oh no!... Poor Andy's mind must have been in a very dark place... I think you're right... The very best place for him right now is exactly where he is...

Thinking of you... Terrible fright for you....

Love to you both....

Darth...

[galvo]

Awful! I feel for you both.

[Poppylicious]

Oh, DD.  I'm so sorry.  My *huggles* may be ineffectual but right now they're all I can offer you, and I'm sending you (both) oodles of them. 

Thinking of you both.  Much love.

♥

[MaryD]

        
 To both you and Andy.

[big777bill]

 DD it broke my heart when I read this about Andy. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Hopefully he will get the help he needs and things will get easier. I will keep you and him first and foremost in my prayers. Take care of yourself and don't let your needs fall to the wayside. I can only imagine how difficult this must be but I am very concerned for your well being right now. Please keep up with your dialysis.                        Love and hugs, Bill and Patty
 P.S. You have my number call if you want to talk. 

[YLGuy]

I am so sorry to hear.  You are both in my thoughts.

[boswife]

Offering prayers and    Im so sorry,  how terribly awful for you to go through.. Im so sorry for you both and hope tomorrow brings some light to the situation..   

[Jean]

What a horrible thing to have to go thru. I feel very badly for both of you and pray that things will get better for both of you soon.

[monrein]

DD I am so saddened to read this.  I'm thinking of you both.  I feel quite numb and can only try to imagine what you must be feeling.   

[Desert Dancer]

Thank you so much for your replies and support; I can't tell you how much this virtual support network has borne me up.

Andy is a lot calmer now. He has been very angry and agitated since getting to the hospital and has spent the last two days threatening to both leave and do this again. He had agreed to voluntary treatment but then changed his mind. Luckily, he doesn't really have a choice in the matter and I've never been so happy to fall back on the word 'policy' (and you know how much I hate that word). They explained to him that if he doesn't co-operate they will get a court order and do it involuntarily. There is someone in his room with him at all times (which also agitates him, and would me, too) and assured me if he tried to leave they would call security to keep him there. So he's back to doing it voluntarily and they're trying to get him into a smoking facility. I think he'd change his mind again if they stuck him in a non-smoking facility so I'm going to call the social worker to make sure they can secure him a bed. The nicotine patches and gum calmed him considerably, too.

I think he's gotten just enough space now for his head to clear a bit and he was so much better last night than he was yesterday morning. I don't think he really comprehended what he'd done or what kind of state he's in until last night/this morning.

I've let him know you're all thinking of/praying for/pulling for him and he really does appreciate it, as do I. I think I'm rambling now so I'm going to stop here and head over to the hospital. I will try to update as I can.

On another note, I've discovered I can go five days without dialysis though I certainly don't recommend it. Got in a good, long 10-hour treatment last night and some food so I'm feeling much better, too.

[MooseMom]

Thank you very much for the update, and I hope you will have the time to issue another at your earliest convenience.

I'm very glad that things are looking up a bit for you both. 

[willowtreewren]

I'm so very glad that you were able to do something to help yourself! I'm sure you feel better after a treatment and some food. Please don't do that again! 

You and Andy have been on my mind these past days. I hope that with this help and intervention he (and you) will be able to fully recover from this dreadful episode.

  Hugs all around.

Aleta

[Darthvadar]

Thank God for a bit of good news!....

Long may it continue... As a former smoker, I understand the addiction....

Love to you both....

Darth...

[okarol]

  I don't know how to handle this, I just feel that you already have such a fight to stay healthy, and this has got to be so much on top of that. I wish you both all the best.

[lmunchkin]

Sorry to hear this DD.  Very concerning, and although he is a bit better, he still has a way to go.  I pray that you keep healthy while he gets the help he needs.  Again, Im so sorry, but hopefully, things will get better. We all love you DD.  Know that we are always here for you!

Please keep us updated.

God Bless,
lmunchkin

[cassandra]

                 all strength , and love to the both of you, and lots of love Cas

[gothiclovemonkey]

 
im sorry to hear this. those places can be a nerve racking experience on either side of it...
thinking of you both
 

[MaryD]

DD - How's things?    Thinking of you both.       

[willowtreewren]

I'm sending you long arms of supportive embrace.

I hope you are keeping your head above water and will let us know if you need anything.

 

I wish there were a big heart emoticon that I could send you. Many hugs. Much concern.

Aleta

[Darthvadar]

Hi DD...

I was wondering if there's any news... Not just of Andy, but also of yourself... You must be going through the mill right now....

Thinking of, and praying for you...

Love....

Darth...