QUESTION FOR THE LADIES

[bleija]

well, i know i read on here about the men and their erection problems, but does that correlate along with females and sezx drive. i am young, but i have no drive whatsoever.... My husband understands but hes a guy..and i dnt know what to do about it... when we do it feels like such a chore and i would rather not...if it was up to me it would never happen. i mean i feel bad, but i guess im lucky he understands... what do u all do.

[Cordelia]

Yes, females can have the same problem. I do.

[cattlekid]

I've had this problem for years.  Doctors have told me it's all in my head and I should just snap out of it.  No one seems to have any real answer.

[WishIKnew]

I'm right there with you!  It has literally been years since I had the desire for sex.....  It's sad, really!

[cassandra]

very sad indeed, for hubby, and for me. And Cattlekid its not in your head, its a few of the zillion things that kidneys are doing in a perfect world. Its being tired, its feeling ill, its feeling 'unattractive', its being depressed. What kind of a doctor comes out with things like that in the first place?

[cattlekid]

I think they say that when they literally have nothing to offer you.  It pisses me off to no end that men have an assortment of "little blue pills" and other options....women have nothing.

very sad indeed, for hubby, and for me. And Cattlekid its not in your head, its a few of the zillion things that kidneys are doing in a perfect world. Its being tired, its feeling ill, its feeling 'unattractive', its being depressed. What kind of a doctor comes out with things like that in the first place?

[jeannea]

Yeah I have no "drive" whatsoever. Luckily or not, I have no husband to torment. I don't think the doctors care. There are really no options for women. Men can use testosterone cream but that can be dangerous for women. I think you're doctor will probably say you're lucky to be alive and the sex thing is no big deal. Of course it would be a big deal if your doctor had the problem. I'm sending you sympathy.

[billybags]

I would rather have a ciggie and a cup of tea. That's sad isn't it. OK I am nearly 68, I keep telling him "I am looking after his heart" I am awful, but I can not be bothered.

[bleija]

eh thats what i figured... i dnt feel unattractive, i know thats not my issue... but my next question is  will a transplant change anything?

[KarenInWA]

eh thats what i figured... i dnt feel unattractive, i know thats not my issue... but my next question is  will a transplant change anything?

I am a single, 38 yr old woman with a transplant for 6 months. I was on D for 7 months, and actually felt pretty randy there for a while when I was on it! (Truth be told, though, I had no one to share that with). Now that I have a transplant, that feeling comes and goes depending on what is going on in my life. It took a little while for my meds to get adjusted - before that I had stomach issues, and for me, that never leaves me feeling sexy. Once all those issues resolved, I was feeling pretty good in that arena (but still, no one to share it with) and then BAM!!! I got hit with a nasty hematoma obstructing my new kidney! One emergency surgery, round of dialysis, and 2 units of blood later, I had to recover for a month. So now the feeling comes and goes, as long as Aunt Flo isn't around (she is a definite libiido killer for me. Always has been.)

My take on everything? Everyone is different, because everyone is affected differently. There is no way to know if a transplant will change that or not, because everyone's transplant experience is different, just like everyone's dialysis experience is different.  I know that probably doesn't give you the answer you're looking for, but I believe it to  be true. We're all unique!

KarenInWA

[Cordelia]

I'd be pissed if some doctor told me it was all in my head.       

[Brightsky69]

I will say that I had no desire while on dialysis…for obvious reasons. I could barely get up and go to work much less do anything romantical.
I’ve had my 2nd transplant for about a year and a half……still no desire.

Iam begining to think my lack of desire is more "relationship" based. I think back to an old boyfriend and let me tell you.....if that guy were readily avialble, look out!! 

[bleija]

aunt flo's a bitch, doesnt she know we dnt want her around, someone told me that when some women start dialysis they wont have one anymore.... and that even more common on hemo, i waited to b e free when i did my 6 month stent on hemo, nope not me every month

[cattlekid]

aunt flo's a bitch, doesnt she know we dnt want her around, someone told me that when some women start dialysis they wont have one anymore.... and that even more common on hemo, i waited to b e free when i did my 6 month stent on hemo, nope not me every month

I didn't have a cycle for several months when I was on in center dialysis. But when I started home hemo, she came back with a vengeance. The neph told me today to hold all heparin during my cycle, hopefully that will help.

[bleija]

okay well i guess i would rather keep mine, than piss her off, lol mine arnt too bad more annoyin than anything

[Rain]

I just to have the desire for sex all the time. That desire left when i started dialysis. At first it was because of the tube sticking out of my chest, i didn't feel attractive.  But 5 years later by beau is still by my side and loves me more every day. 
We haven't had intercourse in months, but he gets what he needs, and he tries to please me.  I find if i get enough exercise in a week, I feel more like sex, if i Don't i just want to sleep. 

[Cordelia]

The heavy monthly flow is caused from the Heparin. Thank you heparin,           it makes my flow heavy every month. The few months before renal failure mine went away and I LOVED it being gone. I didn't miss it. Needless to say, it returned after 4 months of in center hemo.       


I don't want my period anymore but I'm afraid to have any kind of surgery that may screw up a transplant. I'm wondering if maybe anti rejection meds will make it disappear? (I really don't know, but I'm hoping it will cause it to stop)     so I'm holding off to see what happens when/if/once I have a transplant.

[bleija]

I just to have the desire for sex all the time. That desire left when i started dialysis. At first it was because of the tube sticking out of my chest, i didn't feel attractive.  But 5 years later by beau is still by my side and loves me more every day. 
We haven't had intercourse in months, but he gets what he needs, and he tries to please me.  I find if i get enough exercise in a week, I feel more like sex, if i Don't i just want to sleep.

WAIT!!!! so exercise is the key??? at this point im willing to try...

[Cordelia]

Not for me, I excercise daily and it doesn't do anything to my libido.

[bleija]

eh well, taking any and all suggestions... so i may give it a shot

[Cordelia]

eh well, taking any and all suggestions... so i may give it a shot

I hope exercise helps you     

[KarenInWA]

The heavy monthly flow is caused from the Heparin. Thank you heparin,           it makes my flow heavy every month. The few months before renal failure mine went away and I LOVED it being gone. I didn't miss it. Needless to say, it returned after 4 months of in center hemo.       


I don't want my period anymore but I'm afraid to have any kind of surgery that may screw up a transplant. I'm wondering if maybe anti rejection meds will make it disappear? (I really don't know, but I'm hoping it will cause it to stop)     so I'm holding off to see what happens when/if/once I have a transplant.

Cordelia - regarding this issue. Everyone is different, of course, but my experience was this - I immediately had a period the day after my surgery, then didn't have one for 3 months! I thought that was great! But, eventually, she came back, and I have had 3 since she's been back (transplant was exactly 6 months ago). 

Doctors usually say periods come back after transplant. Mine never left, and I ended up taking the pill continuously while on D to try to avoid them. I ended up having one every 3 months or so, so it helped. Sure was better than the "heparin bleed" every month!  I have been off of the pill since my transplant.

There are other options to deal with the period issue. You can always call your transplant clinic to ask what they think of them. One thing you can do is get an ablation done that will either minimize or completely stop them altogether. My dr and I have talked about this. It's not major surgery, and it has a quick recovery. If you don't want to go that route, there is also the iud. Mirena specifically was recommended to me.  The thing is, you can still be a bit anemic after tx, and having periods doesn't help matters much. I had a hematoma incident in early April, had to have emergency surgery, lost a lot of blood, and Aunt Flo was there for the whole damn thing! I ended up having to have 2 units of blood while doing one round of dialysis. This was how I spent Easter. Fun, huh? Stupid Aunt Flo added insult to (literal) injury. I was NOT happy (about any of it!!!).

KarenInWA

[Cordelia]

The heavy monthly flow is caused from the Heparin. Thank you heparin,           it makes my flow heavy every month. The few months before renal failure mine went away and I LOVED it being gone. I didn't miss it. Needless to say, it returned after 4 months of in center hemo.       


I don't want my period anymore but I'm afraid to have any kind of surgery that may screw up a transplant. I'm wondering if maybe anti rejection meds will make it disappear? (I really don't know, but I'm hoping it will cause it to stop)     so I'm holding off to see what happens when/if/once I have a transplant.

Cordelia - regarding this issue. Everyone is different, of course, but my experience was this - I immediately had a period the day after my surgery, then didn't have one for 3 months! I thought that was great! But, eventually, she came back, and I have had 3 since she's been back (transplant was exactly 6 months ago). 

Doctors usually say periods come back after transplant. Mine never left, and I ended up taking the pill continuously while on D to try to avoid them. I ended up having one every 3 months or so, so it helped. Sure was better than the "heparin bleed" every month!  I have been off of the pill since my transplant.

There are other options to deal with the period issue. You can always call your transplant clinic to ask what they think of them. One thing you can do is get an ablation done that will either minimize or completely stop them altogether. My dr and I have talked about this. It's not major surgery, and it has a quick recovery. If you don't want to go that route, there is also the iud. Mirena specifically was recommended to me.  The thing is, you can still be a bit anemic after tx, and having periods doesn't help matters much. I had a hematoma incident in early April, had to have emergency surgery, lost a lot of blood, and Aunt Flo was there for the whole damn thing! I ended up having to have 2 units of blood while doing one round of dialysis. This was how I spent Easter. Fun, huh? Stupid Aunt Flo added insult to (literal) injury. I was NOT happy (about any of it!!!).

KarenInWA

OMG, that would be horrible having your period through all of that!!!       Definitely sounds like it was not a good Easter at all for you. I'm sorry to hear this happened.

Yes, I've heard of ablation.  I have done a lot of thinking about it.  Are there any risks to it before having a transplant, that's what I'm wondering.    I don't want to risk changing my antibodies before transplant. I already have high antibodies to begin with.

[Annig83]

I have always had a high libido... and even though I'm on D... I still do.     I do CCPD only at night when I'm sleeping... maybe that's the key?  As for periods, I haven't had one since December last year... but I am also on IMPLANON which is a birth control implant placed in my arm, kinda like an IUD, which also stops periods.  There's so many factors that play into a woman's body, the slightest hormone change, D, medication... speaking of which!!!  I had my son 18 months ago and I'm still lactating!!!  I didn't even nurse him since he was born premature!  The reason?  One of my blood pressure medications!  It changed my hormones up just enough to produce milk.  It doesn't bother me, but I always worry that somehow the IUD failed and I'm pregnant again! lol. 

[gothiclovemonkey]

Im very "lucky" that my bf doesnt have much of a sex drive i guess.. but i still do sometimes. (its RARE but when it hits it hits hard!)
BUT my last bf was a sex addict (im not even kidding, he was an actual addict!) and there were days i didnt feel well enough to do anything, so his go to was porn hah and if i wasnt feeling like doing it, but felt like helping, i would. *blushes* i wont get graphic, but im sure you know what i mean. Nothing wrong with giving without getting anything in return.