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Author Topic: Overwhelmed, angry and sad with cream on top.  (Read 14287 times)
Poppylicious
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« on: April 18, 2012, 11:42:27 AM »

Today is the six-month anniversary of Blokey becoming the proud daddy of my left kidney.  He's spending it in hospital with a creatinine of about 1000 (11.3 in AmeriSpeak). 

It's his own stupid fault; he's been poorly since last Thursday but despite my constant nagging he refused to see/contact anyone.  Then he obviously became worried enough to email the hospital and the transplant coordinator phoned him and told him to come to the hospital.  He went this morning; a scan of Our Kidney suggested it looked okay, but his bloods were all over the place and his creatinine had rocketed to stupid levels.  So he came home, grabbed some stuff and went back again.  Tonight they're hoping to get everything back under control with whatever magic they have up their sleeves, and if not he may have to have a biopsy tomorrow. 

*sad face*

I think he's probably incredibily dehydrated (he's had the squits and not been eating) so hopefully they're filling him with fluid.

In the meantime, I'm stuck here alone with Dora-cat because Mog-cat went missing on Sunday.  I feel completely overwhelmed, both with the fact that Blokey's risked losing Our Kidney (because he's a man and of course it will be okay) and with the knowledge that Mog is almost probably definitely dead (even the cat-stealing neighbours haven't seen him) but I'll never really know for sure.

Tonight I will probably cry myself to sleep.  I feel very empty.  Please send me *huggles*.
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- wife of kidney recepient (10/2011) -
venting myself online since 2003 (personal blog)
grumbles of a dialysis wife-y (kidney blog)
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Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
okarol
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« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2012, 12:14:28 PM »

 :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; So sorry, but keeping good thoughts for you all.  :grouphug;
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
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MooseMom
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« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2012, 12:15:56 PM »

Oh Poppy, your Blokey deserves a spanking (NOT the fun kind) for not taking care of Y'all's Kidney.  Please try not to panic just yet.  I'm sure the good hospital people will have Blokey up and running very soon.  And I hope that he has learned His Lesson!

*huggles*
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
drgirlfriend
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« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2012, 12:40:20 PM »

I'm so sorry to hear all this! Hold on to some hope that your kitty is wandering home right now. I've heard strange missing animal stories that ended well! And yes, Blokey should get a big time scolding from the medical staff. Unfortunately, in my experience, scolding from the significant other doesn't always take - even though it feels really good!  Hang in there!

*hugs*
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Boyfriend diagnosed with renal failure Feb. 2011. Cause unknown.
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cariad
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« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2012, 12:46:36 PM »

Yikes, that is a crazy-high creatinine, but I think you're on the right track with dehydration. So sorry. I do have much hope that the hospital can turn this around for him.

Don't isolate yourself, Poppy. Surely galvo's available to thrash at Scrabble? Just remember your American friends are awake all through the British night so there's no reason to be sad alone.  :grouphug;
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Traveller1947
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« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2012, 01:56:22 PM »

Sending you "huggles", Poppy.  Also, prayers and good wishes...
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big777bill
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« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2012, 02:21:57 PM »

 :cuddle;  Sorry to hear of Blokeys problems. The Docs should be able to get him back on track in no time. Mog-cat is probably out "catting" and will return soon. I had a rottweiler who was gone for over a month before he came back home. I think he was as glad to see us as we were him. That was the last time he ever took off. I'll bet he lost 20lbs. Praying for Blokey, you and mog-cat, Bill
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liver transplant 3/22/2005
CKD 2008
 
fistula 11/17/2011
 catheter 2/07/2012
 started  hemo-dialysis in center 2/07/2012
 fistula transposition 3/08/2012
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jbeany
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« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2012, 02:51:33 PM »

 :cuddle;

Hopefully, Blokey will learn a good lesson, but not a hard one from this.  Any time spent in the hospital is punishment enough.

I had an indoor kitty who sneaked out and wandered off for two weeks.  Came back sleek, fat, and quite pleased with himself, especially when I realized it was him yowling at the door and let him back in.  Guess he didn't like the neighbor's house as well as he liked mine.
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"Asbestos Gelos"  (As-bes-tos yay-lohs) Greek. Literally, "fireproof laughter".  A term used by Homer for invincible laughter in the face of death and mortality.

gothiclovemonkey
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« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2012, 03:16:31 PM »

 :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;
I hope things look up for you all soon!
Men are so stubborn sometimes!!! when he gets better, give him a nice little 'love tap' on the backside!!!
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"Imagine how important death must be to have a prerequisite such as life" Unknown
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paris
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« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2012, 03:46:27 PM »

How has his day been?  And yours?  I hope things get better for everyone, including Mog-cat.    Yes, men are stubborn - mine never listens.   Hope you get some good rest.   :cuddle;    :cuddle;
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WishIKnew
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« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2012, 04:02:53 PM »

Oh Poppy, "huggles".  Thinking of you and Blokey!

And on the cat front, our crazy cat, Hairy It, has gone missing for weeks and then just showed up meowing on the porch.  Let's hope!

 :flower; :flower; :flower;
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MaryD
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« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2012, 05:53:28 PM »

*huggles*
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willowtreewren
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« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2012, 06:22:41 PM »

Oh, Poppy,

"Huggles" and more "huggles."

 :grouphug; :cuddle; :grouphug; :cuddle; :cuddle; :grouphug; :cuddle; :grouphug;

And hoping that the Mog-cat is just out prowling.

but just to cover that..... more huggles.

 :'(

Aleta
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Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
kellyt
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« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2012, 07:27:14 PM »

Sorry you two are going through this.  I hope they get it under control fast.   :cuddle;
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1993 diagnosed with glomerulonephritis.
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glitter
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« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2012, 07:39:25 PM »

I am sorry your man is being so stubborn and i know how hard it is to watch someone be so darn stubborn-they wont even admit they are stubborn!!  :grouphug;

And I am so sorry about your cat, I hope she finds her way home.
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RichardMEL
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« Reply #15 on: April 18, 2012, 11:44:41 PM »

Oh Poppy - I'm sending you mucho cuddles and huggles and as much as I can get away with to a lovely married lady without getting in trouble.

My heart goes out to you because in both instances everything's out of your control - you've done all you can to find mog-cat (and your dora-cat must be missing her mate!) and of course Blokey.

I don't get this "I'm a man it will be ok" kind of thing - if it's a macho or pride thing I don't know. Maybe I'm not manly enough!!! I just don't subscribe to that point of view. It's like I said to KarenInWA the day she had emergency surgery on her kidney - it's WAY better to query a concern even ifyou feel it might be nothing than to DO nothing. If you come out of it feeling like you worried about nothibng then no harm done and your mind is set at ease for knowing you've been checked BUT if it *is* something, as it has been for both KarenInWA and Blokey then it's way best to get onto it ASAP rather than hope it will go away/get better - specially with such a beautiful and precious gift that we know are frigle and prone to all kinds of things.

Hopefully though if it IS dehydration this is a case of acute "failure" (I don't want to use that term but I don't know what else) and can easily be recovered... doesn't help how you feel - alone and helpless.

I so hope that come the morning, through the day etc that both Blokey responds to fluids etc AND that you have a furry surprise in the form of an unexpected return. Maybe mog-cat was sensing the problems with Blokey and your stress and perhaps she ran off and is hiding under the house or something. You never know.

my heart goes out both as a kidney lover and a kitty lover... for best news on all counts.

 :cuddle; :grouphug; :cuddle; :grouphug; :cuddle; :grouphug; :cuddle; :grouphug;
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
galvo
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« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2012, 12:00:18 AM »

Pops, I feels for ya.  :cuddle;
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Galvo
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« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2012, 12:07:36 AM »

Awwww, Poppy, so sorry all this crap is landing on you right now. So hope your kitty returns, and your blokeys common sense too.

Huggles
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One day at a time, thats all I can do.
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« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2012, 03:13:23 AM »

What they said.     :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
Come home kitty.  I've called and called for my cat akbah sometimes when he was off on a mission, barstard-cat that he is.
As for silly blokes who say it'll be okay there's nothing wrong there's no need to go to a doctor....  well I have one of them too.  They do your head in.   :banghead;
Hoping very hard that when you get time to get back to us, there's some number lower than 1000 to report.  Ay-yah, 1000!  No way.
 >:( :'( :( :o
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Natalya – Sydney, Australia
wife of Gregory, who is the kidney patient: 
1986: kidney failure at 19 years old, cause unknown
PD for a year, in-centre haemo for 4 years
Transplant 1 lasted 21 years (Lucy: 1991 - 2012), failed due to Transplant glomerulopathy
5 weeks Haemo 2012
Transplant 2 (Maggie) installed Feb 13, 2013, returned to work June 17, 2013 average crea was 130, now is 140.
Infections in June / July, hospital 1-4 Aug for infections.

Over the years:  skin cancer; thyroidectomy, pneumonia; CMV; BK; 14 surgeries
Generally glossy and happy.

2009 - 2013 PhD research student : How people make sense of renal failure in online discussion boards
Submitted February 2013 :: Graduated Sep 2013.   http://godbold.name/experiencingdialysis/
Heartfelt thanks to IHD, KK and ADB for your generosity and support.
Poppylicious
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« Reply #19 on: April 19, 2012, 06:32:19 AM »

Oh wow, now I remember why I love this place ... I felt really bad asking for *huggles* and I've been gifted far too many from you lovely people.  I popped on before I went to bed last night and the responses thus far (up to cariad at that point) made me burst into tears.  Bless little Dora, I think the violence of my crying scared her a tad!

Thank you for all your support, from the bottom of my heart.

Blokey was on a 5 hour drip last night and has had VERY expensive medication this morning (thank goodness for the NHS!!) and is now flat on his back following a biopsy.  His texts sound cheery which is a very Good Thing because when he feels pessimistic at the hospital it really shows in his texts; he's not good at hiding how he's feeling.  I don't know how long biopsy results take, and he hasn't said if his creatinine has gone down yet. 

I don't get this "I'm a man it will be ok" kind of thing - if it's a macho or pride thing I don't know. Maybe I'm not manly enough!!! I just don't subscribe to that point of view. It's like I said to KarenInWA the day she had emergency surgery on her kidney - it's WAY better to query a concern even ifyou feel it might be nothing than to DO nothing. If you come out of it feeling like you worried about nothibng then no harm done and your mind is set at ease for knowing you've been checked BUT if it *is* something, as it has been for both KarenInWA and Blokey then it's way best to get onto it ASAP rather than hope it will go away/get better - specially with such a beautiful and precious gift that we know are frigle and prone to all kinds of things.
I know!! I think the only reason he eventually emailed (not phoned!) the hospital was because I said something about how I would be really unhappy if something happened to Our Kidney given that I'd gone through copious amounts of pain in order for him to have it!  I don't ever want to say something like that to him again, because it's mean and makes me feel bad and sad.  I think next time he becomes even a little bit ill I'll be contacting the doctor/hospital on his behalf.  I wish I'd just done that in the first place but he was so insistent. 

As for Mog ... still no sign of the rascal.  I've put some ads in shops windows, spoken to lots of people and whilst walking round the neighbourhood I called for him. I've also contacted the local vets, the local RSPCA and even the environmental department of the district council (who collect deceased domestic animals from the roadside).  I've done all I can so now I'm just hoping that he'll turn up, whilst being pretty positive that I'll never see him again.  Everytime I look out of the window I expect to see him trotting along as if life is normal, but it's been four nights now, so ...

Thanks again for the *huggles*  I appreciate them - and the support - more than you can imagine.
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- wife of kidney recepient (10/2011) -
venting myself online since 2003 (personal blog)
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Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
billybags
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« Reply #20 on: April 19, 2012, 06:54:10 AM »

Poppy, so sorry to hear your Blokey is in hospital; So it wasn't your cooking then. Don't you worry they will sort him out, men!!!!!!!!!! I have one like this also. He can not get his breath and he is going to wait till next Thursday when the nurse comes, he might be frigging dead by then, I keep threatening to call the neph but he will not hear of it. I some times lose my patience and let him get on with it. Any way I hope all goes well to-day. You take it easy and when that cat does come home, kick its butt.         :Kit n Stik; Does the cat take after Blokey?
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looneytunes
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« Reply #21 on: April 19, 2012, 07:02:09 AM »

Aw Poppy...sorry to be late with the huggles  :cuddle;  :cuddle;  :cuddle;   :cuddle;   :cuddle;   but maybe you can use a few more today.  If not, store them up for use later 'cause they don't expire.   And I also would like to kick Blokey a few times (being married to a similar "manly" man myself)....  :Kit n Stik;
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« Reply #22 on: April 19, 2012, 10:25:27 AM »

another late huggler but sending some for today then :)  Hope to hear some good stuff soon and hope you are doing a bit better and he's doing GREAT too!!    :grouphug;  :grouphug; huby calling me or there would be more  :grouphug;  hehe
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im a california wife and cargiver to my hubby
He started dialysis April 09
We thank God for every day we are blessed to have together.
november 2010, patiently (ha!) waiting our turn for NxStage training
January 14,2011 home with NxStage
cassandra
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« Reply #23 on: April 19, 2012, 10:51:12 AM »

more huggles, and kisses from me, and hubby,

lots, and lots, and lots of love, and strength

Cas
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
2020 start Gambro AK96

       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
Poppylicious
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« Reply #24 on: April 19, 2012, 03:09:59 PM »

Just a quick update, lovelies ... Spoke to Blokey on the phone.  His creatinine was 940 (10.6) this morning.  Not much of an improvement, but definitely going in the right direction!  He's been on a drip all day (not sure what the five hour one yesterday was; some kind of meds mixed in perhaps?), has been peeing more and has been producing more solid poo (sorry, tmi), plus he's been eating.  And drinking, obviously.  If this hasn't helped his creatinine go down in tomorrow's bloods then goodness knows what's going on. 

They took three bits/slivers/whatever of kidney and weren't happy with any of them (too fatty apparently; that's my kidney!!) but are going to work on what they've got with a view to doing another biopsy tomorrow.  Please keep your fingers crossed that creatinine has dropped enough for them to realise another biopsy will be pointless.

We were supposed to be going out on Saturday to a comedy show, our first proper night out in yonks, but are giving the tickets to friends.  He'll be out by then (I remain positive of this) but it's easier to sort out alternative arrangements that be left with two wasted tickets.  I honestly thought that a transplant would put paid to having to worry about cancelling plans, but it doesn't.  *sigh*

I keep hearing Mog meowing loudly outside the window but when I go to it he isn't there, nor does he come when I open the door and call him.  The stupid cat is breaking my heart! 
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- wife of kidney recepient (10/2011) -
venting myself online since 2003 (personal blog)
grumbles of a dialysis wife-y (kidney blog)
sometimes i take pictures (me, on flickr)

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
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