Being a Caregiver Can Make You Religious

[drgirlfriend]

After 2 months of complaining about doing manual pd exchanges, my darling bf is starting his cycler routine tonight. All that time he kept going on about how his days are ruined, he has no time, etc. Well, right this minute he is complaining about it taking too long, he might as well quit right now, manual was easier, he's swearing and running around, knocking things over, throwing things, asking for my help then ignoring me. I haven't seen a single minute of my football game.

I was raised going to church but don't consider myself religious anymore. But so help me God if he lives through tonight, it will be a miracle.

[willowtreewren]

 

[Poppylicious]

 

Did you both make it through the night?  Did you let him live so that he can complain anew again today?  You know our lives just wouldn't be the same without the grumbles and moans of our lesser-halves.

[rsudock]

hang in there!!!

xo,
R

[boswife]

oh lordy, (someore religion  )  How i love this place...  I do hope all is well in grumpland... Its so awful to hear but it does make it  *live through able* when it's our turn...   

[drgirlfriend]

After watching my team go belly up yet again, I finally fell into a fitful sleep on what was left of the couch around 2:30am. Oh, did I mention that he started tearing apart the couch and jamming cushions under the mattress to make the bed 1' higher than the machine. He remembered this little detail right before he went to hook up. (I will never skip a procedure training ever again.) And of course he was only thinking as far as his side of the bed. That's when I got pissed.

It was one of those "sleep with one ear open" situations so I'd hear if he needed help. He called to have me turn the heater back on, but I got up twice otherwise to check on him and the machine. The treatment went well, so thank goodness for that. My eyes are burning from lack of sleep and I have vague memories of little snippets of Popeye cartoons that were playing every time I woke up.

The morning was full of apologies, but no time for a real conversation about the evening. I realized that having the luxury of not being the patient makes it easier for me to stay on task. I certainly get scared. I can imagine more things that could go wrong than ever could happen. But my fear is nothing compared to what my bf is going through. His freaking out is clearly rooted in fear and not being in control and I can usually see that and not get hooked, but after a week of moving, cleaning and training on the cycler, I'm worn thin.

[boswife]

Bless ya for hangen there and understanding .........  it's sooooooooo hard to sometimes, but somehow, we manage and go on to happier times...  I sometimes forget that hubby is actually the one with the disease, and different fears than mine 

[MooseMom]

Yeah, the fear of death can ruin your day.

drgirlfriend, are you an Eagles' fan?  That can ruin one's day, too.

[big777bill]

Yeah, the fear of death can ruin your day.

drgirlfriend, are you an Eagles' fan?  That can ruin one's day, too.

                                     I'm an Eagles fan and they ruined our season didn't they!

[fearless]

I've spoken about this here before, but the so-called "Liberty" machine is, I believe, enough to drive anyone stark raving mad.  I had several emotional breakdowns during the brief time I used that machine - (I had been using the Baxter cycler and then switched to hemodialysis).  That machine is a monster.

[lmunchkin]

For PD lovers, I personally wish they would bring back the ole Newton IQ cycler. That is what we used, and I don't remember having all these problems with it.  Every now and then over the 5yrs we were on it, we had to replace pump 1-2 times. It worked beautifully for us!

lmunchkin