The Dialysis Patient Games

[kitkatz]

We are slowly planning to have a get together and meet for IHD.com.  Well I got to thinking and decided to come up with some easy to play games for us folks on dialysis.  They have the Transplant games and I thought we should have The Dialysis Patient Games.
To be eligible you have to be a patient on dialysis, a caregiver for someone on dialysis, or an employee, or a member of IHD.com.

Here is a tentative list of games:

The I am More Tired than You are Game: the best description of how tired you really are wins.

The How Much Stuff Game: Bring all of the stuff you bring to dialysis regularly, whomever fits the most stuff onto the little table without it falling down wins.

The Get Up From the Chair Game: Whomever gets up gracefully out of the dialysis chair wins.  We will have that special chair that does not go down at the feet without tech help.

Ice Crunch Game: Get the bag of ice into a container and crushed. First person with a full glass of edible crushed ice wins. Pieces have to be crunchable size throughout the cup.

Comparing Arms- Best black and blue spots, biggest fistula, biggest oops on the arm, etc.

How much weight have you got on today:  Compared to your dry weight how much weight do you have on? Lowest and highest win a prize.

The Can I Eat that Event?  The edibles are out and the dialysis patient will be tested on what is on his or her plate at the end of the buffet line.  Those who fail to pass the dietitian at the end of the line have to try again.  Family members can eat whatever they want to eat, unless they have a medical condition, too.  The patient who made the best food choices wins. (I hope someone brings rice cakes and water.)

The Can I Dialyze There Game: There are several computers set up. The object of the game is after being given a destination to go to and use of the internet, the patient has to find a dialysis center within an hour's drive of the destination.  Can you go there?

Saline Bag Races: Put a saline bag on your head and race with it. Three legged race holding a saline bag between the legs.

Stick the needle on the dialysis patient using a red cross dummy, find the fistula blindfolded and stick it.


That is all I can come up with tonight.  I am sure you all can add to it.

[jbeany]

Don't forget

              Who Has the Lowest Blood Pressure?  Bonus points for the most crashes in a single session.

              Consultation Capture  Who can get the doctor to talk to them the longest?  Points scored for getting him to answer medical questions, write a prescription, or do an actual physical exam of any body part that you have a complaint about.

                Blind Nurse Bluff  Who can outrun the nurse who can't stick anyone?  The nurse will be blindfolded, and armed with a 5 inch needle.

                 Dietitian Dodge Ball  Who can hold out the longest without getting hit while the dietitian throws pamphlets and cookbooks.

[okarol]

Ok Kit, Jenna came up with a couple more:

Best snarky comment: Whoever can make the best snarky to a dialysis tech. Categories: Best Sarcasm, Best Veiled Hostilty, Most Creative Muttered Attack

Top Rant: Most psychotic display of anger. Extra points for offensive lanquage, most eff words in a sentence. Singing while ranting earns top honors.

Best fake sleeping: Must be while social worker is attempting to talk to patient. Categories: Loudest snoring, Most realistic drooling.

[kitkatz]

And let's not forget

Rudest Patient: the patient who can burp, fart, throw up loudest or stink the worst.

Who has been on dialysis the longest?: the person who has been on PD and/or hemo the longest wins!

The Everlasting Drink: Everyone gets a drink placed in front of them during a meal. The one who can make it last the longest wins.

Ordering a drink: this one is for caregivers and techs and service people.  Who can get the ice cup full enough with ice so that when you add a drink the ice does not wiggle in the cup. This is a dialysis patient's drink. Get it right!

The Call: Run through an obstacle course set up like a house getting to the phone as fast as you can for THE call.

The ever popular Compare the Scars Game or Scar Wars: Whomever has the longest scar, smallest scar, best healed, ugliest scar, most scars. Everyone qualifies for this one event!

[okarol]

In Center Triathalon: Best time transitioning from parking lot (running) to scale (posing) to chair (reclining.)

Medicare relay race: Pass off your claims form, access online forms and publications, and receive coverage from Medicare in teams of 5, running while going nowhere.

Dry Weight Sudoku: The objective is to fill the 9x9 grid so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3x3 boxes contains your perfect dry weight.

Transplant Evaluation Gauntlet: Best time for participant who can Nag the coordinator, Jump through hoops, BS the social worker, Fudge the compliance code, Pass the blood test, and run the Medicare obstacle course and finally, polevault to the list.

[Rerun]

Most Surgeries Game - Whoseever had the most surgeries from birth wins.

Most Nephrologists Game - Whosever had the most Nephrologists since birth wins.

Most Dialysis Centers Game - Whosoever dialyzed at the most centers wins.

[okarol]

Biggest stick wins! 

[kitkatz]

Biggest stick wins! 

Got it covered over here. *Waves big stick in the air.*

[angieskidney]

THis is an awesome thread! We could even have some threads that cover some of these just for fun lol Like Scar Wars and most surgeries   

[kitkatz]

Bumping the thread

[okarol]

Boston Marathon Transplant Relay - My donor is healthier than your donor race.

Pill Gagathon - Largest handful of meds swallowed in one gulp. Upchucks disqualified.

Stump the Labs 24-hour Clearance Race - See how long it takes them to figure out you borrowed urine for the test and didn't have a miraculous recovery of function!

Disgruntled Patient Rifle Competition - Points for taking out the dietitian or tech - Bonus points for bagging a neph.

Phosphorus High Jump - Highest number wins lecture and scorn from dietitian.

Parathyroid Pull - Patient with most successfully hidden parathyroid glands wins.

[goofynina]

Boston Marathon Transplant Relay - My donor is healthier than your donor race.

Pill Gagathon - Largest handful of meds swallowed in one gulp. Upchucks disqualified.

Stump the Labs 24-hour Clearance Race - See how long it takes them to figure out you borrowed urine for the test and didn't have a miraculous recovery of function!

Disgruntled Patient Rifle Competition - Points for taking out the dietitian or tech - Bonus points for bagging a neph.

Phosphorus High Jump - Highest number wins lecture and scorn from dietitian.

Parathyroid Pull - Patient with most successfully hidden parathyroid glands wins.

   i know i'd have the Gold in the Phosphorus High Jump 

[Chicken Little]

Very funny.

How about the "When is the last time you pee'd?" award.   

[kitkatz]

No, no I get that award for high Phosphorous!

[goofynina]

No, no I get that award for high Phosphorous!

*throws back cape and draws her sword*  LET THE BATTLE OF THE PHOSPHORUS BEGIN!!!

[kitkatz]

Dons the hat with the feather in it....Draws sword and yells "En garde.  6.9!"

[goofynina]

Dons the hat with the feather in it....Draws sword and yells "En garde.  6.9!"

*bows in defeat*  Hail all mighty Phosphorite, we shall duel again next month 

[kitkatz]

"Ha ha! To the victor goes the spoils!"
"Where are the spoils? Don't I get any spoils?"
"Damn!"

[goofynina]

"Ha ha! The victor goes the spoils!"
"Where are the spoils? Don't I get any spoils?"
"Damn"

Allright Kit, you may have WON the battle, but you have definetly LOST your mind...  You lost me here girlfriend 

[kitkatz]

There is no prize?   I thought I won something for having the highest phosporous!

[kitkatz]

We will have to have awards shaped like kidneys for the winners.

[okarol]

We will have to have awards shaped like kidneys for the winners.

[Zach]

Sign up today for Transplant and Dialysis sports
http://www.transplantteamireland.com/Games-Latest/Sign-up-today-for-Transplant-and-Dialysis-sports.html

LH Ireland Wins Contest To Host European Transplant And Dialysis Games
http://www.athleticsireland.ie/content/?p=2507

Kidney patient in Games first
http://www.thisiswiltshire.co.uk/news/headlines/display.var.865798.0.kidney_patient_in_games_first.php

[icecream]

Very funny.

How about the "When is the last time you pee'd?" award.   

I like that one!i would winit..I have no kidneys

[mikey07840]

 

Thank you all.  I needed to laugh out loud.