Happy and bummed...

[Lovebelle]

This week has been a bit of a roller coaster of emotions. My week began in a celabratory mood! This weekend an aquaintence received the call that we all hope for. He received his gift on Sunday and was doing exceptionally well. Then Monday I received notice that I was accepted onto the UNOS waiting list. So all seemed to be on a high note!

Then later that evening I received word that my friend who was in hospital 24hours post transpant passed away. From what I understand he had a heart attack and they could not revive him. I swear its like someone kicked me in the gut.

I cannot put into words how much this has shaken me to the core. You see these centers say how our young age (Early 30s) will work in our favor and recovery should be swift, and then this happens. My friend and I are about the same age and he was vibrant and doing well and extremely active for a dialysis patient. I know anytime you have surgery you have risks, but I guess I never really thought too much into it.

 Since I found out I was in End Stage in October I realized I never really focused on my mortality. Like always I put it in the back of my mind and became very task oriented and focused on what I needed to do in the moment. I never focused on the "what ifs". I know kidney failure is a fatal disease process (hell Im a nurse) but of course I took on the approach of that will likely not happen to me.

So now I just feel bummed. Grieving for a friend and finding diffiulty celebrating my good news. For the first time I feel afraid. Maybe its just a delayed response and how I should have responded months ago. But here it is now.

[willowtreewren]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can certainly understand how upsetting this is for you to comprehend AND handle.

 

Aleta

[okarol]

  So sorry about your friend.

[jbeany]

 

Oh, that is such hard news to hear, when you are sure things are going to get better instead.   

[rsudock]

Yes that is the hardest thing dealing with this disease being constantly faced with your mortatlity...I get overwhelmed with it sometimes....hang tough. RIP to your friend!

xo,
R

[olivia]

So sorry about your friend. So sad.

I also had a hear attack after my transplant a couple of months ago. I am recovering, and very lucky to be here today. No one expected it to happen this way.  I was so ready for the transplant to happen. I was not ready to code and be zapped back to life.

From what I understand, now, transplant patients are at highest risk of dying from a heart attack. I never new that or heard of that until I experienced my heart attack.

I hope it doesn't happen to any of us ever.

[rsudock]

So sorry about your friend. So sad.

I also had a hear attack after my transplant a couple of months ago. I am recovering, and very lucky to be here today. No one expected it to happen this way.  I was so ready for the transplant to happen. I was not ready to code and be zapped back to life.

From what I understand, now, transplant patients are at highest risk of dying from a heart attack. I never new that or heard of that until I experienced my heart attack.

I hope it doesn't happen to any of us ever.

Are there any other reasons besides the transplant that folks are having heart attacks? Is it in combination of high doses of medicines or other co-morbidities? Olivia glad you were able to survive that!

xo,
R

[kellyt]

 

[olivia]

Rsudock,

From what I have been told by my Cardiologist. Kidney disease and Heart disease go hand in hand. We are all at a higher risk.

My primary doc told me that It could have been the high doses of medicines, also the epo shots cause clots and heart attacks also. Or could be a heart defect?

But people with out kidney disease have heart attacks too.

So one disease at a time. One day at a time. And hopefully stay sane through it all.

[Lovebelle]

Olivia, So sorry to hear you had to go through that after transplant. I know there are risks with everything but I do think that sometimes people play down these risks. Dialysis in itself weakens the heart and from what I understand heart attack is the most common side effect of our illness. I guess this is why they try to make sure our hearts are healthy to withstand transplant. Yet the risks is still there. But I am so glad you made it through ok!

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. Last weekend was my friends funeral and while it was hard I know he doesnt have to suffer anymore. I am just moving forward and trying to keep my spirits up.

[jagermiester]

   Prayers lifted

[lmunchkin]

So Sorry to hear of your friend! Loss of Life is one of those things that happens, but is never easy to accept!

Again, sorry to hear!

lmunchkin

[olivia]