That's Outrageous!

[MooseMom]

BrightSky's thread

http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=23755.0

struck me as really outrageous, and that made me wonder what has been the most outrageous thing that has ever happened to you?

(Move this topic if you want, but it occurred to me that "the most outrageous thing" for some IHDers may/probably has to do with dialysis!)

Who's first?

[rsudock]

When I was in junior high my supposed best friend depants me in front of my boyfriend!!! OMG outrageous indeed!!!

[boswife]

ohhhh i love it!!  hope theres lots of responces on this..hehe  cant think of things myself..heck it's almost 9pm and im tuckered... but LOVE rsudock's..hehe

[peleroja]

Before I post mine I'd have to know just what y'all mean by outrageous.

[MooseMom]

Before I post mine I'd have to know just what y'all mean by outrageous.

If YOU think it's outrageous, then it's outrageous.  If it left you shaking your head in disbelief, it's outrageous.

[Poppylicious]

When I was in junior high my supposed best friend depants me in front of my boyfriend!!! OMG outrageous indeed!!!

I don't have an outrageous anecdote but this made me giggle muchly because when we say 'pants' in the UK we aren't talking about trousers.  No, pants here are what you wear under your trousers; if your best friend had 'depanted' you in front of your bf over here, it would have been doubly outrageous!

 

[jeannea]

Don't know if it's the most outrageous but it happened recently. I was in the hospital and they wanted a rectal temp. My sister and mother left the room. My sister in law didn't feel the need to leave! I was unhappy but too sick to protest.

[tinastia]

I have a n outrageous story........

My family and I have recently moved out of my Mother in laws house,  While we lived there Every time I had to go potty, we had to go to the gas station down the road.  I was not allowed to use their bathroom, I did a bed bath type of cleaning for personal hygiene, and peed in a bucket, because she would not let my husband clean her bathroom to make it safe for me( they have a lot of mold in there),and their plumbing was terrible and all problems were blamed on me. 

I have not let my husband tell his parents where we live, but Gram-pa is sick now and they need him, they want him to drive all over the state for them and take G-pa out to do his can collecting, we do take them to the store, but the rest is extravagant so we told them no to the extra stuff.

After the way they treated me we shouldn't even do this for them, but there is no one else to help.  My MIL is such a bi*** no one, not even her own children will help.

[jbeany]

There ought to be a line in bold print on the marriage license that reminds you that you really ARE marrying the whole family.

[rsudock]

There ought to be a line in bold print on the marriage license that reminds you that you really ARE marrying the whole family.

Agreed!!!

Our first Christmas together Aaron try to set up his room all romantic (flowers, gifts, candles, etc...) He was giving me a promise ring...well lo' and behold who is there when he is presenting me with this beautiful ruby ring....his mother...totally ruined the moment. I thought to myself get a freaking clue lady?!?!   

[Brightsky69]

Wow....crazy stuff.
I know I don't want to marry into my BF's family. Dysfunction with a capital D. Although...my quasi in-laws are really sweet people. My BF's mom is probably one of  the nicest ladies I have ever met. I hate to see it but,  certain family members do take major advantage of her niceness.

[jbeany]

See, all of my "OUTRAGEOUS stories I'm thinking of aren't family related.  (Mostly because I prefer to never think about my former step-mother at all, if I can help it.)

Managing the family restaurant/motel/gift shop and bar left me with lots of outrageous stories though.  Customer service will do that to you!

I lived in the apartment in the building.  Staggered out of bed one afternoon and into my little kitchenette to find a flood pouring from the ceiling.  (I had the night shift - rarely got to sleep before 4 am, so afternoon was my morning.)  I still wasn't dressed, so I was hopping around in jammies, grabbing buckets and trying to find my dad.
There was a rented motel room directly above my apartment.  My dad, loaded with his tool box, scrambled upstairs.  Expect for the father, the family who rented the room had taken off to do touristy things shortly after breakfast, with the band of heathen children they had brought along.  "Pa" was parked on the balcony in ratty boxers and a wife-beater t, already half way through a 6 pack, and it's still just past 1.  My dad pauses long enough to ask if the "gentleman" had noticed any water leaks.

"Yup.  Your toilet broke in there."

One of the kids had apparently attempted to flush an entire roll of t-paper.  When the water started pouring over the sides - they just left it and went shopping.  No one said a word at the desk, no one shut the water off - and no one yanked out the roll of t-paper, which was all it took to fix it.

I, on the other hand, got to replace my ceiling tiles, repaint my cupboards, and re-lino the floor in my kitchenette.

[RichardMEL]

I have moved this topic to the "Off topic" forum - mostly because the responses are of a general nature rather than dialysis related. MM I saw your point, but I think this is a better place for the subject.

RichardMEL, Moderator

btw Rachel - wow how old were you when you were depanted in front of your BF at school?!! I hope you had nice underwear on!!! Kids at school can be horrid. I remember when I was in highschool I witnessed a girl having her dress pretty much pulled off her (!) - well pulled UP anyway (I won't comment on her underwear!). I don't know what happened there, as I wasn't involved or knew the people involved but I actually felt for the girl because it was pretty much in front of lots of people and the poor thing would have been so humiliated - as you would have been.

[MooseMom]

That's cool, Richard, but is it OK if someones outrageous story is dialysis related?  Can they post about it here?

Jbeany, outrageous stories certainly don't have to be family related!

When I started college, my roommate was picked randomly.  She was from a different part of the state; we were not at all alike, but we became the best of friends.  One summer, I went to visit her and her family, and the next summer, she came down to my house to see me.  We'd talk on the phone during school holidays...you get the picture.  Well, the first day the dorms opened at the beginning of my junior year, I arrived at college, eager to room with my best friend again.  I walked into our room, and she refused to talk to me.  She treated me like I was the vilest creature on earth, and I have absolutely no idea to this day what happened.  I practically begged her to tell me if I had done something wrong, something that had hurt her without realizing it, but she wouldn't say a word.  It was a [Laura Petrie] "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!"[/Laura Petrie] sort of scene.  It was not a happy term, and the following term, I went to Madrid to study, and she left and went to Boston College (or so I was told).  She amputated me from her life like I was gangrenous.

I thought that was pretty outrageous, and still do.

[Chris]

I have nothing, just something I did stupidly in junior high which maybe in part why I have back problems.

[MooseMom]

I have nothing, just something I did stupidly in junior high which maybe in part why I have back problems.

Well, now you have to tell us all about it so that we can exclaim, "That's OUTRAGEOUS!"

[Chris]

It wouldn't be in the catagory of outrageous at all, just pure and utterly stupidity while noone was around and luckily noone wasn't to save embarassment from pain.

[RichardMEL]

It wouldn't be in the catagory of outrageous at all, just pure and utterly stupidity while noone was around and luckily noone wasn't to save embarassment from pain.

oh you SO have to tell us about that one time at Band Camp..... 

MM: of course if someone has an outrageous D story to post it here if they like. I just felt since folks had already posted non D stuff it was better in here but I'm not suggesting a D-only thread be started for "outrageous dialysis stories" or something.

As for the weird roommate transformation story.... I think its just more pathetic and sad (on her side) than outrageous. I mean heavens.. obviosuly SOMETHING happened to make her so upset - either wih you in particular or with life in general. It's really disappointing that even someone you felt was a close friend couldn't even tell you what was going on. That's pretty poor in my view. How did she respond when you asked her??

It does remind me of something from my own past (not at band camp) that maybe my gf(at the time) felt was outrageous. In a nutshell, it was the early 90's and I was working at a university (in IT, not in any kind of teaching role) and I met this student. She was only a year younger than me, and we hit it off very well (well OK, she seduced me *blush*) and we really connected.. however  she went off to China for the summer to spend time with her parents (her father was ambassador to China) and we had very little contact (this was in the days when the best way to stay in touch was via, wait for it, fax!!!). Anyway at the same time I decided to move out of my mum's place and into my own place for the first time. A few months later she was due to come back from China for the new university year, and was faced with the prospect of living with some relatives, that she wasn't thrilled with. Me, being young and stupid (and filled with lust) suggested hey, why not move in to my place?!! She agreed, and when she came back she moved in with me.

oh boy.

Now it's REALLY easy with hindsight to see this was a disaster in the works, but the point of relating this will soon be clear(I hope).

So she moved in and it was all good... at first.  Now there was NOTHING wrong with her. Nothing at all. However I would be at home with her, and I just felt "wrong" - like there was something not right, but I didn't know what it was, but as time went on it felt more and more wrong, or I felt uncomfortable, or something like that. Now here's the point. All i could tell her was that things "felt wrong" - what kind of a lame thing is that to say???! Of course she got upset, and I don't blame her because I could give her no real reason why. She actualy thought I had met some other girl and was interested in her (NOT!) and became quite offended. Soon after she did move out, and obviously our relationship died. Totally my fault. And, looking at it from her point of view, yeah absolutely - what would you think? Some guy saying it's not working for you but not being able to give any kind of reasonable reason why?!

Only  after time had passed, maybe a year, with much soul searching, did I realise what the problem was. It wasn't her (which I knew anyway). It was really a factor that I had just moved out of home and had still not gotten used to my own space and living by myself. Then, she came along and was with me all the time when I was home. Obviously that had its appeals on certain levels  but what was going on is that all of a sudden I didn't have my own "space" anymore. I didn't feel comfortable to reteat to my own stuff and chill out watching my geeky TV shows, or listening to my music etc (she didn't care much for either)... so I was sort of trapped with no outlet.. or basically just wasn't ready to be in that kind of situation with someone. But.. at the time I couldn't tell her that.

I guess the difference between me and the roommate was that I wanted so much to tell her, and I expressed to her that I wished I could explain in more detail, but I just had nothing. I felt so bad about the whole thing and of course when I figured it out it made a lot of sense, but way too late by then.

Many years later though I did get to explain it to her, and felt a lot better for that. It didn't change anything of course (and her father was VERY undiplomatic to me!!! can't blame him though) but I at least felt better that I could tell her what that was all about.

Boy I ramble on with stuff sometimes. Sorry!

[MooseMom]

Richard, I agree that moving this thread to Off topic is entirely appropriate, so thanks for that.

Re your gf, at least you tried to tell her what was wrong, and even if you could not articulate it, you did try.  I can see how, at the time, you couldn't really define it for yourself, much less for her.  I can understand her being baffled and angry, but at least you tried to explain.  Whenever I asked my roommate what the problem was (and I asked MANY times), she just turned away.  Even if she had yelled at me and screamed that I did this or that to her, I would have appreciated just knowing.  But no...she just cut me off.

I got to the point where I realized that no person should ever treat anyone like that, so my affection for her disappeared in the wink of an eye.  I decided the problem was hers, not mine.  I can honestly say that she had been my closest, dearing friend for two years, and for her to treat me in such an outrageous way made me see that perhaps she was not worth my time.

If I had to guess, and this would be a wild guess, I suspect that she may have been coming to the realization that she was gay and that may have been the reason she cut me off.  Maybe she was frightened.  That's the only thing I could think off.  If that was the case, I would not have shunned her, but she had no way of knowing that.  She never gave me the opportunity to understand why she hated me so much, nor the chance to defend or explain myself.  She saw that I was heartbroken, but she didn't care.  So, I stopped caring, too, but I've never had a close female friend since.  And that was back in 1977.

[RichardMEL]

phew. maybe she DID care, but didn't know how to handle her own feelings and emotions (sort of like me with my gf all those years ago!), Maybe, if she was attracted to you she was scared, didn't know how to handle it.. maybe knew you weren't that way inclined and was scared of rejection so handled it poorly.

whatever the reason I totally agree the worst part is not ever knowing. I have a few situations like that where I've been excluded and never told - and that actually hurts more than the actual act - not knowing why. Not having the chance to potentially learn from a mistake, or accept that maybe the issue was just with the other person and not me, etc.

One thing that's important in ANY relationship - be it a romantic one, friendship, family etc is communication. Your example hilights just how important that is.

I totally agree if it was me I'd rather be yelled at or told unpleasant truths than be left guessing and hurting with no explanation. She was probably hurting too in her own way, even if it didn't seem like it to you.

Well MM, it's her loss she decided to disolve the friendship. Wherever she is now of course I hope she's happy and well, but she's lost out without you in her life.

[MooseMom]

There was a reason for her total rejection of me; it's just that I don't know what it was.  But it must have been pretty major for her to have completely removed me from her life.  I've often thought that she was angry or hurt or frightened, but in not talking to me about whatever it was she was feeling and why, she never gave herself a chance to resolve things in her own mind.  If she had just talked to me, maybe I could have helped her.  But she chose to cherish her anger, so that's what she was left with.  It's a shame that she didn't give herself the opportunity to feel better. 

[Chris]

Do not get band camp referrence 
Hindsight always 20/20, but I would have said Was it because I ate your chocolate you left on the table? Sorry I didn't give you the message from so and so, Was it about me copying your homework and getting a better grade than you?........... and the list can go on and on 

[Riki]

Do not get band camp referrence 

You've never watched American Pie???

[Chris]

Do not get band camp referrence 

You've never watched American Pie???

No, not into teen movies so never saw it. Just know some scenes from commercials.

[Poppylicious]

If I had to guess, and this would be a wild guess, I suspect that she may have been coming to the realization that she was gay and that may have been the reason she cut me off.  Maybe she was frightened.

I was going to suggest that maybe she'd developed feelings for you but knew you wouldn't feel the same; it was easier for her to make you hate her than have to watch you flirting with men or rejecting her advances.