An update.....

[Kitty Cat]

My husband has been through so much in the past 11-12 yrs, however, lately we'd had some whispers that he may have cancer. I didn't pay a lot of attention because within the past 2 yrs, he'd had kidney cancer and beat that.

This one he isn't going to beat. He has liver cancer, ithe mass has grown substantially and the best we've been given is 3-4 months.

I'm beyond numb right now, I've spoken with his surgeon who has been with us through everything and then some, she is going to help me get care set up for him so that he can pass at home. She is absolutely wonderful!! I don't know what I'd do without her.

At this point, I'm going to focus on him and move forward from there, now it's baby steps instead of one day at a time.

Right now he's in the hospital, he was rushed in by ambulance yesterday morning, so I'm going to head there to be with him.

[billybags]

oh Kittycat  there is nothing I can say that will take your pain away, I am so sorry to hear this . I some times wonder what it is all about. You watch your husband struggle through this and that, you are with them when they are fighting to beat things that come a long and now this. Make the most of this time you have together. I will be praying for you both. Life seems so unfair.

[Alisa]

Saying a prayer for you and your husband. So sorry.

[boswife]

Bless you both and peace be with you....  Im so sorry 

[willowtreewren]

My heart goes out to you, Kitty Cat. I hope that you and your husband can cherish the time that you have left together.

I know that you must be feeling such grief, along with the need to be strong.

 

Aleta

[Darthvadar]

Oh no!!!...

I'm SO sorry to hear this...

Hope you get all the help and support you need...

Thinking of, and praying for you...

Love and 

Darth...

[Kitty Cat]

Thank you so very much.

I had spoken to his surgeon, as you know, she's been with us the whole way since the beginning. She has gotten him onto the hospice list and as soon as he was able to be placed into a room, they came to see him. They are going to meet with us to get us the help we will need through this. I was insistent that he pass at home where he's comfortable. He's done so much time in the hospital, I don't want it to end that way for him too.

It's a good thing that I lost my job when I did. Otherwise, I'd have to fight for the time off to stay with him. One less thing to worry about.

[okarol]

Kitty Cat,
I am so sad to hear this news. I think it's so nice to have him come home, hospitals are not where I would wish to spend my final days. Best wishes to you, please know we are here for you.
HUGS 
Karol

[del]

 

[lmunchkin]

Iam lost for words, right now and my heart aches for you and your husband. We all know we will not live forever, but when it happens, it seems so unreal!  God Bless you, Kitty Cat!  You have been there for him through it all!  You are an Angel!

So sorry to hear this.  This is so hard!  You are in our thoughts and prayers 

lmunchkin

[looneytunes]

KittyCat, I am so sorry to hear this.  My heart goes out to both of you.  Bless you for being there for him through it all.  You will both be in my prayers and we are here for you.   

[Poppylicious]

Oh, I'm so sorry Kitty Cat. 

*huggles*

[boswife]

Thinking about you kittycat and hoping your holding up..  more prayers dear lady..

[lola]

 

[Kitty Cat]

Thank you all so much

He came home today from the hospital. I was surprised, even though I've seen him in the hospital that he looks so weak. Within a few weeks, he will be permanently in a wheelchair. No longer an option.

He has spoken to our Priest about getting the service set, we're trying to do everything possible so later on I don't have to say "now what?"

This is still so surreal, I've had a couple huge meltdowns, one on the way home from running errands, shouldn't have been driving through that one. I've decided to help him as best I can, worry about myself after the fact. Only because I want this to be as peaceful as can possibly be for him. I don't want him worrying about me.

Right now, our daughter and her family are staying with us for a couple more days, the company has truly helped. Especially with the baby, he's such a ray of sunshine that you can't help but laugh at his antics.

I never want to look back on this time with regrets, this is something I've said all these years too. I can be proud of the fact that I did my best, all you can ask for. I want us to enjoy what time is left, we're taking him to a restaurant on the beach for his birthday. Every hug, look, kiss means even more than I could have ever thought.

Your support helps more than you can know. Over the years, you've all been here to help me through all the craziness with family and especially with this disease. Thank you so much. I will still be around, probably hysterical at times as this progresses. I don't think I've fully accepted any of this...

[aharris2]

 

I wish you a wealth of beautiful new memories as you, your husband, and your family go through this time.

[Darthvadar]

Thinking of you, your hubby, and all of your family...

You're travelling a hard road...

We'll be here for you all the way... Cyber friends are still friends...

A little Irish saying....

There are good ships, and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships are friendships,
And may they always be.

Love...

Darth...

[galvo]

My best wishes are with the pair of you.

[looneytunes]

Kitty, I'm thinking of you and your hubby and sending you daily cyber-hugs.   

[boswife]

I wish this all wasnt so..  Im heartbroken for you and pray that you can have the strength to get through.  I fear i wont if indeed im in your position.  Bless your heart, i wish you so much comfort... 

[Kitty Cat]

Thank you all for the prayers and hugs! I keep coming back to read it when I need a boost to keep going.

My hubby is going to try a bit of chemo. It will not stop the tumors (they are now in his esophagus and his stomach, possibly in his lungs) He wanted to do this because it may give him an extra couple of months. My only worry is that he ends up with an active mind in a body that doesn't do anything. I can't imagine anything worst. This chemo requires 2 weeks worth of IV chemo and 2 weeks worth of pills. So we've got the appts set up for the IV's and will be starting the week after next.

We have been trying to get out and do things, we've been to the beach with our daughter & grandson. That trip was so amazing!! We're going to try and go again really soon.

We've also started planning the service. I've decided I don't want a funeral mass per say but a celebration of his life. He even told our Priest that he wanted him to play "Don't worry be happy" at the service. I wouldn't promise, but our Priest did. He was trying so hard not to grin when my husband asked him. I was stunned but didn't say anything. I understand it now, but at that moment I just didn't get it.

Then there is my mother in law. You're pretty well all familiar with that whatever it is. When we told her, she looked at me and was so shocked says to me, "you've stuck by him through everything". Really?? After almost 30 yrs she gets a slight clue?? I'm keeping my distance but trying to keep it to a dull roar for his sake. Afterward, all bets are off.

I spoke to the college I've been accepted at and they are pushing me down for a semester, so I'll be starting in Feb 2012. This is even more near & dear to my heart. I will succeed at this. By using my life lessons and reading what you all have to say about what social workers should know and how they should help patients & families, I will take all of you with me into this journey.

Some days are better than others. I never know when a melt down will hit and I'll just sit and cry, but I try so hard for him not to see me because he feels hurt when it happens and that's not what I want to make him feel at all. Time is so unbelievably short. My sleeping cycles are all off, I can only get 3-4 hrs a night now and my appetite is so bad, the first thing I ate today was around 1pm. The good part about that is that I found my favorite pair of overalls that I haven't been able to wear in about 6 years and they fit so well, at least something good happened. My doc is totally aware of everything and working with me to keep me going. 

Thank you for everything. I'm sorry I'm not posting as I should, I'm trying to squeeze in so much in a short time...

[boswife]

You've been on my mind a lot and im glad you came to update.  Oh lord it must be hard, but you seem to be handling it.  What else can you do i guess. I sure say my prayers for some comfort to you both..   Bless you, and im proud of how your handling it all. 

[paris]

Thank you for the update.  I wish I had wonderful words of comfort.  My heart is so sad for your family.  I can't imagine the depth of your pain.  I will keep saying lots of prayers for you.  May God wrap His loving arms around you and bring you peace.   

[boswife]

This eve,I talked to my hubby about what your going through. I just cant face the thought and  broke down afterwords once alone..  Im just so sorry dear lady that you are going through this.  Just thinking about it is enough to send my head and heart wheeling.  Which is what i ment when i was saying that i guess you have no choice at this point to just deal and accept.  I feel i cant, couldnt,  so thats also why i can say how proud of you i am.  Your doing it, and living it, and keeping at least part of your attitude (the part that matters) in tact.  I wish i had words, or something that could change it all, for you and all of us.  I wish for you that you will have comfort in your and our prayers and peace in your heart.   

[okarol]

I am sorry. I think you're doing the best you can, and that's all you can do. You are facing this together and I admire that. Yes, squeeze in what you can - thanks for keeping us updated. Big HUGS for you both.