Surgery Tomorrow

[Kitty Cat]

Plenty of news tonight...not good. I'm sorry...

The biopsy showed that it was the kidney and it caused him to reject. There hasn't been a whole lot of time to concentrate on that  because he is back in the hospital. On Tuesday morning after I left for work, I text messaged him because I knew he wasn't feeling so great but he promised me he was okay. Something happened, our daughter and I think he fell because of the injuries but he apparantly blacked out and hit his head. He came to, called the ambulance then me at work. Unfortunately he doesn't remember a thing. By the time we got to the E.R. he was very easily agitated with absolutely everything becoming a major issue such as he was so very upset with me for leaving work, things along that line. His stuttering was worst than I'd ever seen it and he couldn't remember things for more than 3-4 minutes. I kept telling them that this wasn't his personality and I didn't know what was going on. I couldn't stop crying which agitated him even more. I kept walking away so he couldn't see I was crying and how terrified I was (am).

He damaged his spine between the 6th and 7th vertebrae. He is going to have to have surgery because if he doesn't, he'll end up paralyzed and if he has it he can still end up paralyzed. No Guarantees. The doctors said that what happened was actually a good thing because his neck is so unstable that we could have been driving down the road, hit a bump and he would have been paralyzed. They have him in a neck brace now.

 I don't know what to do, we're in a holding pattern with the hospital. We don't know how quickly they're going to get to the surgery. I'm trying like crazy to be positive, for him I can be. Here by myself at home, I can't sleep (melatonin has become my best friend) everything keeps spinning through my mind. And not having answers is even worst. Hopefully tomorrow there will be some more answers.

What bothers me is that he's such a great guy, everybody loves him, he'd give you the shirt off his back if you asked for it. He keeps being slammed with one thing after another and all I want to do is to make whatever is hurting him hurt back. Sounds ridiculous and I am a very nonviolent person. I am so tired and heartbroken from watching him suffer so much. I can't protect him and I can't stop it. All I can do is try to support him and be there. That doesn't even feel adequate. I'm at a total loss.

I'm sorry this is so down, I'm not usually like this but I haven't been this lost in such a long time. I'll keep you posted, I'm praying for better news or just a tiny sliver of sunshine, something we can hang onto.

Thank all of you for your prayers and good wishes, I wish I had better for you, but we'll take it one day at a time and look for the sliver of sunshine.

[shay_pcb]

I don't really know what to say, except I'm sorry things are going so badly for you two. And I really hope things get better. You can only go up from rock bottom, right? 

[jbeany]

 

[Rerun]

Kitty Cat the sliver of sunshine is he wasn't killed.  Sounds like he could have been.  The other sliver of "sunshine" is YOU.  You need to get some sleep because you need to be well right now.  One day at a time and God will help you through the storm.  I'm sure your husband has lots of worries as well being the man of the house, but just keep him calm.  His job right now is to heal.

                                               

[Sluff]

Prayers for you and your husband are in abundance right now as everyone is praying for his quick recovery. Please take Reruns advice and try as best you can to get sleep and be strong. He needs you more than ever right now.

[paris]

Keeping you in my prayers 

[glitter]

you know -I know exactly how you feel-my husband was very injured this past year-then became a dialysis patient-sometimes the frustration level with wanting/trying to help/be there is overwhelming.He spent most of 2006 in the hospital,and as the caregiver and mom,you get stretched pretty thin....just remember to breathe,tears are okay too---plus you can always post here we are a very compassionate bunch. It has felt like our lives can't possibly suck any worse,then something will happen and my husband gets sick again, makes you want to bang your head on the wall.  Hang in there. have a little wine.

[jedimaster]

 

[mallory]

Kitty Cat, I am so sorry.  You are both in my prayers, I hope you can get some rest and that you both are doing better.  We're thinking of you!   

[Kitty Cat]

Thank you so very much, I just need to rethink things. Today I'm a little better, still exhausted but thinking more positive. You are so right, he is alive and he does have his sense of humor still. We're trying to stay positive and have found that surgery is Monday.

They are going to put a steel rod into his spine and secure it with a steel plate. There are a lot of "Ifs" but I"m going to start taking things slower and as they happen and I hope to remember that through the next few days especially.

Our Priest came in to see him today and it gave him a great sense of peace, I've been keeping him entertained with Aquarium Survivor. That is simply, I left for work yesterday to 5 little fish in the aquarium, I came home to 4. Now, I have no idea what happened to that fish, I have 2 young kitties who may have assisted that fish but they haven't really been near the aquarium. So I keep him entertained with different scenarios as to where the missing fish is. So we are still giggling about things.

I do apologize for being so negative, I know you all understand. Last night I couldn't find a positive thing in anything. Today I'm so thankful I can, plus reading the posts is a boost for being positive. I'll keep you posted, I may not be able to get back until Monday night/Tuesday sometime. I know surgery is 5 hours, but I'm still waiting for a time frame for it.

I have to tell you, without this site and your support, I have no idea where I'd be right now. They say everything happens for a reason and finding this site was a reason in itself.

[Rerun]

Kitty Cat.  A sense of humor is all we have sometimes. It is good to laugh.  Hope you get a restful weekend.  There is nothing you can do right now anyway.  Get a couple of DVD's and take them to the hospital.  Sometimes they have a DVD player at the desk that feeds into the rooms.

Do not Get "Million Dollar Baby" !! 

[Ohio Buckeye]

Kitty Cat

I am sorry you and your husband are going through such a difficult time.
I hope things improve for you soon.  I will keep you in prayer especially
Monday concerning the surgery and a quick recovery.  May God grant you
His peace and strength.

[kitkatz]

I wish I could hold your hand and be there.   I know how difficult it is to have your hubby injured and in the hospital.  You feel like you are walking through a foggy sock right now and every little thing sets you off.  Take it one thing at a time.  Do one thing at a time and let a lot of stuff go.  You are strong and will make it.

[Bajanne]

Yes, girl, it's one day at a time.  Keep on remembering that you have a whole lot of people with caring thoughts and prayers for you two.  All over the United States, in Britain, in Australia, and in the Caribbean.  Now that is a lot of good will!  Keep on the positive things and care yourself as well.

[Black]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband, and your entire family.  Please don't ever apologize for having a bad time -- we all have them and that's what we're here for. 

[nextnoel]

My prayers are with you - I'm so sorry you're having to go through so much! 

[Kitty Cat]

I got to the hospital at 6:45 this morning, hadn't slept much last night and they kept assuring us that surgery would happen today. The doctor came in and confirmed that nothing had changed, it had just been moved down to this afternoon. Around 2pm they came in and told us it was cancelled. Now we wait until Wednesday morning 7:45 am and it is guaranteed to happen then. I have no idea what happened and why everything changed just like that. But we weren't happy campers and then once it really sank in, my husband said he is very happy it was moved. The poor guy is in so much pain, but at least the area where they took out the kidney is doing fantastic.
They've taken out the staples and it's healing beautifully. I am grateful for everything but I am so stressed out right now it's unbelievable.  I"m going into work tomorrow, fortunately my work really takes my mind off of things and I can text message with him while I'm working so it won't be bad.

Now here's a chuckle..we really haven't had winter here in the northeast. We've been seriously spoiled by spring time temperatures and our flowers have started to come up. We knew it was only a matter of time until we were nipped by ole Jack Frost. We got more than nipped. It's been disgustingly cold. Yesterday in the parking garage at the hospital I have no idea how it happened but my car door froze while I was visiting him. The passenger side was fine but here I am debating about climbing through the car (by the way, did I mention it's a Ford Explorer???) and looking somewhat dignified about it. Well I finally got so cold I really didn't have a choice. I kind of threw myself across the seats into the stick shift and shoved the door open before anybody could see anything. It really was funny. I had him laughing about that last night. He's doing good, his spirits are up, it's a matter of let's get this going.

Thank you all for your responses and everything. I've been trying to get in and take quick peaks to keep up on what's going on, this place is my sanity. You all know how we're feeling and it really makes the difference.

I'm making a very quick dinner tonight and I'm following some of your suggestions. I've been curling up on the couch with my book and fleece blanket. That's been nice except for the kitties who think it's there for them and crawl all over me. (I love it when they do, don't doubt it for a second!)

Thank you so much again, I know I keep saying it but it really is heartfelt, I feel like I'm home when I"m here.

[okarol]

Hi KittyCat-
Wow, last time I checked it was the kidney -- now I see he fell too! Sheeesh! Poor Guy and poor You! That sucks. Thank goodness he was able to call for help. Now with the surgery put off the waiting gets tough. My hubby had a fusion on his spine 3 years ago. It's a big surgery but should stabilize him. I am so sorry. I have been sleeping in the hospital or sleeping near Jenna, last night was the first time I slept over 5 hours and it did help. Tylenol PM has become my friend! I feel for you sweetie, take care and hang in there, one day at a time!
Thank you for thinking of us with all you have to worry about!
All the best,
Karol 

[shay_pcb]

Glad everything is getting at least a little better!! I sitll wish more good luck with everything!!! 

[mallory]

Wow, Kitty Cat, you guys have been through a lot.  Glad to hear things are looking up.  Don't forget to take care of you, my prayers are still with both of you!

[Kitty Cat]

Well, I should have listened to you all a lot better than I did. I have run myself down and as of 4 am today, I have a stomach flu and could not go to the hospital to be with my hubby during his surgery. Sometimes I think somebody should knock me cold with a cast iron frying pan or something.

Anyway, the surgery went well, they are not going to put in the stainless steel rod or plate because it turns out that this happened a couple of years ago when he fell in 2005 and we can't prove it, but that's the only other time he fell. He did actually crack the spine at that time and the surgeon said it healed, not properly but it healed. So they're no longer calling it unstable. He cleaned up the disks and said there was no problem with any kind of movement where the crack was. After being told that he could end up paralyzed, I'm calling him my miracle honey. He has a very tired guardian angel. He has to! They said the only way to properly fix it is to break the spine where it healed wrong and re-do the whole area with the rod and plate. The surgeon said he does not recommend it because hubby isn't well enough to handle an operation like that. He also said that he expects healing to go a little slower than normal because of the hemo (has anybody else ever heard that?) and they have moved him off of the floor he was on where they wouldn't give him his meds and started ignoring his call button. The guy never complains about anything but the floor wasn't giving him his binders unless they actually thought about it and decided that giving him an injection of benadryl was easier than the binders. He scratched himself the other night and drew blood. The nurse came in yelling and he finally yelled back. So after that they were good about the meds but it shouldn't have come to that. Once he's home and settled, I'm going to write to patient relations and complain. Nobody should ever have to go through that.

So we're looking onward and upward but the final outcome is still going to be that he will end up wheelchair bound permanently. This is okay, he's not happy about it but if it means he's still here, I'll take it. I just have to find some organization that will help us change things in the house because this house isn't really wheelchair accessible.

I am heading off back to bed, I can't remember the last time I slept this much but now I'm relaxed because I know everything is good. I can't wait until I can get up there and see him.

[Rerun]

I don't understand.  I thought it already healed in 2005 and he is no longer unstable.  Why will he be in a wheelchair?

[Kitty Cat]

He has so much arthritis in his spine that it's actually fusing together. The surgeon tried to clean it up a bit when he was in there yesterday but he did confirm that the end result will still be my hubby in a wheelchair. Plus unfortunately the trauma team didn't find the break in 2005 so he can't look up, he can only look ahead, (because of the way it healed) there isn't any movement in his neck to be able to look up. He was doing physical therapy in the pool which helped him with pain management and gave him a little bit of motion but the insurance company knows best and said that they felt he wasn't getting any beneficial help there. His spine doctor argued with them, but the insurance company has the last word, as always.

Plus he has neuropathy in his legs from the kidney disease and can't feel his legs at all from right above his knees down to his feet. It's a problem if he steps on something because he can feel slight pressure telling him he's stepping on something, but a great example was the night he stepped on a thumb tack, his foot was bleeding and he had no idea.

[Sluff]

Well he sure is lucky to have you.

[tamara]

Well he sure is lucky to have you.

Yep, believe me we are all Grateful for our Towers Of Strength.     

Kitty Cat, doesnt sound strong enough for you, Should Be Tiger Woman!