Problems at work - Is this normal?

[sgcline]

I'm an accountant.  I'm still working full time.  My GFR is at 12 and has been for the last year.  I am to the point I can't keep things straight.  I have major memory problems.  I will work on something and think I have it right.  My boss will look at it and find things wrong right off the bat.  It's so frustrating.  It makes me feel like such a failure.  I've always taken pride in my work and strive to do good.  I'm sure I would have been fired by now if my boss wasn't aware of the Kidney failure.  I keep thinking I can "fix" the problem.  I write more notes and make more check lists.  I have sticky notes all over the place.  Of course, that only helps if you remember to read them.  AGGGHHHH!!! 

I think I'm going to have to cut back.  I don't know if that will help or not, but I have to do something.  Down side is my husband is out of work right now.  Yep..that's going to hurt the pocket book.  Unfortunately, my job doesn't allow for mistakes.  It could mean the IRS is after you. 

What are you thoughts?  Is accounting too much for me?  Will part time help?

PS - the replies to my introductions already have me feeling better.  Its great to have others to talk to who know you I feel.

[RichardMEL]

I hate to say it, but I would say some of these things are normal. You are very near, or at ESRD and all those toxins running around your system will create memory problems and some folks have even talked about confusion and stuff - and on top of general tiredness (again very normal). Just my humble opinion but I am not certain that going part time will help THAT much - it could do in a general sense, but these symptoms you are experiencing might really be telling you that it's time to consider dialysis to clear those toxins out. (sorry)

btw with dialysis I work full time(apart from when I'm at D) and my mind is fairly clear and I make few mistakes(well I am human afterall!  ) and I actually enjoy having work to go to and spend time with my mates and so on - it's actually quite valuable.

[Henry P Snicklesnorter]

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[sgcline]

Thanks for the information.  I have an appointment with my Neph this week.  It will be a big topic of discussion.  I'm glad to hear the energy levels and memory problems went away after starting dialysis.  I really thought I was starting to go crazy.  Sounds like I'm just "normal" for the kidney failure world.

[Jie]

Don't have a BIG hope that after dialysis, these things will go away. A BIG hope is most likely coming with a BIG disappointment. Some patients may have big improvements for memory and concentration after dialysis, and lots of patients will not see big changes. I found out that after dialysis, my productivity is about 30% of my healthy levels. Memory and concentration are big problems for ESRD patients. We just have to accept the fact that we cannot work very productively any more and find a way to deal with it.   

[RichardMEL]

I tend to agree that you're not going to come out of dialysis feeling like superman and albert einstein combined.... you might feel a bit clearer in your head, and have a bit more energy, but you won't be running marathons.... although everyone's different and you *may* feel much better than that (sure hope so!)... just don't expect miracles.

[Henry P Snicklesnorter]

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[Hazmat35]

I work Full-time and do Dialysis 3X per week.  I work full days on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, and 1/2 days on M,W,F when I go to Dialysis. 

I too, find myself in a "fog" sometimes and can not concentrate like I use to.  Before I started Dialysis was worse than it is now, so, things have gotten better.  Of course, I have a lot more to deal with "mentally" so I think this is the cause of my "confusion" or eye to detail. 

I look at building plans and specification sheets all day . . . If I make a mistake, someone could get seriously hurt!!!!

[Des]

I don't get a fog or maybe I do and don't know about it like Altsheimers.    Well I still don't have my regular job back after 10 months. I am just sitting here and doing all sorts of crappy things. 
I just want to be able to do all the things I use to do!!!!

[RichardMEL]

It's an interesting point actually. I feel pretty good in the head dept most of the time with the odd memory lapse, but then I read people who have got transplants who talk about their minds feeling so much clearer.. so I wonder if it's just like any other facet of ESRD - specially in a chronic condition where it moves slowly - that maybe the "fog" comes along so slowly that you sort of get used to it, and adjust to it within yourself, so it doesn't seem like it's anything significant - sort of like walking around with dirty glasses - you can see but it's not as good as if they were shiny clean.

I guess I won't know that answer for myself till I get a transplant and experience it for myself - and as discussed everyone is different anyway.

[Jie]

It's an interesting point actually. I feel pretty good in the head dept most of the time with the odd memory lapse, but then I read people who have got transplants who talk about their minds feeling so much clearer.. so I wonder if it's just like any other facet of ESRD - specially in a chronic condition where it moves slowly - that maybe the "fog" comes along so slowly that you sort of get used to it, and adjust to it within yourself, so it doesn't seem like it's anything significant - sort of like walking around with dirty glasses - you can see but it's not as good as if they were shiny clean.

I think this is a pretty good description of the situations for ESRD patients. After so many years of slow changes, we don't know what is "normal" any  more. When we were healthy, we wanted to do the best job. Now we just want to do an OK job.

[kitkatz]

I, too, am coming to the point where I need to consider slowing down and maybe retiring.  I have been on dialysis almost 12 years and I am getting tired of it all.  I am going to see my primary care doctor today to talk about time from work.  Tehn I will call my salary insurance people and get the forms filled out. It is hard to consider giving up work that I love.

[ChickenLittle56]

I am sorry to hear that Kitkatz, my dialysis neighbor is a retired 3rd-4th grade teacher and she retired early because of dialysis and she misses going to work. She retired after 30 years in the school district. Some of her former students are PCTs here at the clinic.