hi Everyone, Lillupie is back- miss everyone here

[Lillupie]

hi everyone
 I have been gone from here for a very long time. and I am sorry. First off I am still writing my book. Even though I Have not had much time I still intend on writing it. I now have about 160 pages.
 I have been soo busy it is not even funny. Well in the start of December I met with a guy I used to have a crush on back when I was in Junior high. We both went to church together, and I decided I would give him a chance. BAD MISTAKE. The month of December was awesome. I found of that my 4 year old daughter was being molested by her 13 year old cousin when she was at her dads. This guy I started dating, Mike, was there for me and even insisted on going to the police with me. There was a LOT of drama there.
 It’s been hard for me because I really like Mike, I liked him back when he was 15 and I was 11 (he is 30 now and I am 27). His family knows me and remembers me.
 Mike has several problems and is taxing on me and a drain. He has bipolar. The truth be told no one should ever, ever date anyone with bipolar! I thought I could deal with him since the guy I dated before him had bipolar. Mike not only has bipolar but also has disc degenerative disease with a rod in his back. So he can relate to me in having an illness.
 But, NOT! UGH! December was soo hard on me. See, MIke has other problems. I guess after Christmas his mom started getting addicted to pain pills and xanx. Then he claims that he can’t count on her for anything so I feel stuck/obligated. It’s just been such a drain on me. Because of his back I have had to take him to the ER 3 times just in the month of February and he wont let me just drop him off, so I am obligated to stay with him until he gets a room or is discharged, either way I end of staying the night with him there without my dialysis, and by the next day I am so exhausted from the night before that I don’t get dialysis but maybe one or two exchanges
Now this relationship has been such a drain on me financially, physically, and emotionally that I now have to give up on it. This is going to happen very soon. The sooner the better the sooner I can continue writing my book on raising awareness about kidney failure and its options.
IM BACK

[YLGuy]

It is great to have you back.  You cannot sacrifice your health like that.  You are a mommy. 

[sico]

Good to see you back on here Lisa.

Thats horrific, whats happened to your daughter.

Sounds like you've got a bit on your plate.

But shouldn't skip that much dialysis.

[Jean]

I wondered whee you had gone. You are always so bright and cheerful, I am glad you are back.Terrible things have been happening to you and I am so sorry about your daughter. Hope you get rid of the current boyfriend, that is more than you need to handle, either now or in the future.

[lou]

Hey Lisa great to have you back. So sorry to hear what a stressful and dramatic time you have been having - you must be knackered!

Really hope your daughter is doing ok. This guy does sound like a bit of a nightmare to be honest. I understand he has his own problems to deal with but he should be insisting you go to dialysis - I know we all hate it but it is really important isn't it and you must look after yourself.

Anyway hope you are feeling ok (mentally and physically) and its lovely to see you again
Lou  x x

[galvo]

Good to see you back. I hope things brighten up.

[Pam]

Glad you are back Lisa. Don't put off ending that relationship. It will only make it harder! You've got to take care off you so you can take care of your daughter.
Pam

[looneytunes]

Hi Lillupie...glad to see you posting again though it sounds like things have been pretty tough for you.  I hope your daughter comes out of this all right, what a horrible thing for her to go through.  And as far as Mike goes, it's been my experience that any relationship that is so one sided that you are giving until it becomes unhealthy for you (and missing dialysis sure would qualify as unhealthy not to mention the mental/emotional stress) is one you need to strongly consider walking away from.  It's tough to do when you really like that person but you have to be able to take care of yourself in order to take care of someone else. 

I hope things get better soon for you and I'll keep you and your daughter in my prayers.   

[Chris]

Hi Lillupie,
Sorry to hear about what has happened.  Sounds like you need a vacation getaway. That wasn't fair of Mike of letting you miss dialysis because he's waiting on a rom. It's not like you can make things happen faster by sitting there, especially in those uncomfortable chairs they have. Your health comes first before him.
 
Sorry, not going Jerry Springer on this 
 
Good Luck getting back to your writting.

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Good that you are back. Oh, and dump the looneytune you have enough problems without him.

[Rerun]

Thanks for checking in.  I'd lose any guy that didn't put my dialysis first.  Especially when he is in the hospital and being taken care of.  I hope your daughter is alright.

Work on your book!  We can't wait!

             

[monrein]

Welcome back Lillupie.  Sorry things have been so messy and crazy for you.  You obviously know what your priorities are and since your guy Mike's own issues are getting in the way, you'd be better off without him.

[Sluff]

I'm glad you gave it your best shot with Mike because you will never have to say what if. Everything for a reason? right.  Anywho I'm glad you have seen the light for your own well being. Have you met Richardmelt here at IHD yet? Maybe you should because then maybe just maybe I would have a shot at .... ooops I'm married    shame on me...   I really do wish you the best and welcome back to IHD.

[cdwbrooklyn]

Welcome back Lillupie; sorry to hear what you been going through.  Please do not hesitate to get help for your daughter so this don't effect her badly.  Also, if it's possible, see if that 13 year old old can get help to.  He must have pick this up from somewhere or someone.  He is young and can get help.  Maybe it happened to him and noone got him help so he thinks its okay to do it to someone else.  However, I'll say a prayer for your daughter well being.   

Although we all need someone to love and we to love someone, if it's not a two way street, it''s not worth pursuing.  Base on what I've read, Mike seems to be a very self-centered.  Your treatments are important as well as him being at the hospital.  If he cannot see that you get your full treatments so you can be healthy for him, than he is not worth your time or enegry.  However, don't give up on dating, there are others out there that are not self-centered. 

Good luck on your book - hope I can read it one day.

CDW