Holiday blues

[Ohio Buckeye]

It is that time of the year when you go into the stores
and the Christmas items are already going up and last night I
already felt the twinge of the holiday blues.  Always comes about mid-October.
winter coming on, Thanksgiving around the corner. then Christmas.
For me it is the worse time of the year.
I've lost my parents, a son, 2 brothers and then my husband and at that
time of year I miss everyone the most.  I always dread this time coming on.
A friend who lost her husband in March said she already has felt it too.
I keep telling myself just to be thankful that I have 2 sons, a grandson and a sister but I
find that I really have to push myself to get thru the dreaded holiday season.
Does anyone else have these feelings about the holidays and what do you do
with them?  My son and his wife always go to NY to be with her family and I
feel like I have to stay here otherwise my other son would spend holidays alone.
One year we all went on a cruise, was fun.  That's not possible now.
Just wondering.

[Rerun]

They do have cruises with dialysis available.  Check with your social worker.  Yes, I get them.  I've lost my parents, I have no kids and I'm divorced.  So, what I do is put my sights on Jesus.  He is the reason for the season anyway.  When I realize it is not all about ME then I can enjoy the lights, singers, and pretty packages.

Join the santa swap on IHD so you will have some fun too. 

http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=1567.0

[Ohio Buckeye]

Yes, you are right Rerun, He is the reason for the season.
I love the Lord so, and He has been and is my Anchor thru it all. 
I guess it is just that Christmas used to be so big in our family and
I just miss it all. Especially Christmas eve.  I guess I just have to keep
my eyes on Him and forge on thru this holiday season.  Maybe commit
it all to Him and see what He can do with it.  But I don't even like all the
greediness, etc. of Christmas where everyone is trying to make the extra
dollar.  Even people who don't believe are racing around doing the Christmas
thing, don't know why.  I've thought about adopting a family or helping out
at some volunteer thing around Christmas to make it seem better.
But you are certainly right, I need to look at Him and not me.
I sure am rambling on today.........

[Black]

Could be situational depression made worse by Seasonal Affective Disorder -- light therapy might help.

"...Throughout the centuries, poets have described a sense of sadness, loss and lethargy which can accompany the shortening days of fall and winter. Many cultures and religions have winter festivals associated with candles or fire. Many of us notice tiredness, a bit of weight gain, difficulty getting out of bed and bouts of "the blues" as fall turns to winter.

However some people experience an exaggerated form of these symptoms. Their depression and lack of energy become debilitating. Work and relationships suffer. This condition, known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) may affect over 10 million Americans while the milder, "Winter Blues" may affect a larger number of individuals.

The typical symptoms of SAD include depression, lack of energy, increased need for sleep, a craving for sweets and weight gain. Symptoms begin in the fall, peak in the winter and usually resolve in the spring. ..."

Read more here:

http://www.ncpamd.com/seasonal.htm

[goofynina]

Yes, you are right Rerun, He is the reason for the season.
I love the Lord so, and He has been and is my Anchor thru it all. 
I guess it is just that Christmas used to be so big in our family and
I just miss it all. Especially Christmas eve.  I guess I just have to keep
my eyes on Him and forge on thru this holiday season.  Maybe commit
it all to Him and see what He can do with it.  But I don't even like all the
greediness, etc. of Christmas where everyone is trying to make the extra
dollar.  Even people who don't believe are racing around doing the Christmas
thing, don't know why.  I've thought about adopting a family or helping out
at some volunteer thing around Christmas to make it seem better.
But you are certainly right, I need to look at Him and not me.
I sure am rambling on today.........

Ramble on girlfriend, that is what is so awesome about this site, we are here for you too!!   The thing that depresses me about Christmas is the greediness of the kids that have everything and want more, what about all the kids that have nothing?   What gets me the most is that i spend literally hours trying to pick the "perfect gifts" and when it comes time to open the gifts, they open it, throw it to the side and go grab another,  after it is all said and done, you ask them, did you like the gift and they say, what did you get me? Grrrrrrrrrrrr.    I think adopting a family and bringing some cheer to those unfortunate will make you feel better.  If you know of any organizations, please let me know, i'd love to look into it too 

[paris]

Several families I know who are very well off, only give 3 gifts per child - to represent the three wise men. Their children don't feel disappointment and learn the true reason we celebrate.  I think the holidays make all us us sad to some extent.  I miss my Mom, my grandmother, etc. But, when I am stuffing the turkey, or wrapping presents I think of all the woman across America who are doing the same thing the exact same moment.  I feel a real comradery toward my fellow sister "turkey stuffers"!     Then I look at my kids and wonder how many more Christmases I will have with all of them. It is hard not to become depressed.  I am working  on a cookbook to give them for Christmas, with their favorites from childhood and recipes handed down thru the generations.  I always have to have a project going because it helps me from falling into the "poor me" trap.   Let's help each other get thru the next two months ---and then it will be a new year!

[vandie]

Several families I know who are very well off, only give 3 gifts per child - to represent the three wise men. Their children don't feel disappointment and learn the true reason we celebrate.  I think the holidays make all us us sad to some extent.  I miss my Mom, my grandmother, etc. But, when I am stuffing the turkey, or wrapping presents I think of all the woman across America who are doing the same thing the exact same moment.  I feel a real comradery toward my fellow sister "turkey stuffers"!     Then I look at my kids and wonder how many more Christmases I will have with all of them. It is hard not to become depressed.  I am working  on a cookbook to give them for Christmas, with their favorites from childhood and recipes handed down thru the generations.  I always have to have a project going because it helps me from falling into the "poor me" trap.   Let's help each other get thru the next two months ---and then it will be a new year!

I love the cookbook idea for a present.  My mom passed away in 2000.  I have a shoe box full of recipes that she used to make, as well as several old cookbooks.  It would be fun, and theraputic, to put together a book for my daughters. 
Thank you.   

[mallory]

Vandie,  after my Mom and my Grandma had both passed away, my sister and I wanted to make a cookbook for our families using their recipes.  Like you, we had a lot of recipes they had used over the years.

One thing that we did that was fun was that we scanned some of the recipes that were in their handwriting and put them in the book the way they had written them.  It was a nice personal touch and it's nice to see their handwriting in the book.  It made it more special and personal. 

We also included family memories about some of the recipes.  We found people have a lot of good memories associated with certain foods so we included a paragraph with some of the recipes.  We also had a few family pictures that we included in the book.

We just printed them up ourselves, we don't have a very big family so we didn't need a lot of copies.  Everyone really liked them.  It's a great idea, and a good way to spend some time during the winter months doing something that makes you feel productive and close to your family.

[Bajanne]

I am a Christian, but I don't believe in celebrating Christmas as such.  At least for me it is not a religious celebration, but it is a family time.  The very weather changes (of course, only a few degrees in the Caribbean!) signal the season.  With it comes lovely memories of my childhood.
This year I will be visiting my home again.  It will be a very joyous celebration.  The 100th anniversary of my dad's birth is December 29 (conveniently in the season!) and so the family will be gathering.  He has 5 children alive, 25 grands, 25 or more great grands, and some great great grands!
Christmas time is such an active time in our culture that there is not enough time to have the blues.

[paris]

Re: the cookbook idea. I have also included hand written recipes from past generations, but found if I color copied them, they look like the original (yellowed, stained, aged).   Would appreciate any more ideas on this subject. If we all are busy helping each other, there will be less time to be "blue".

[Ohio Buckeye]

I've never did a cookbook but some yrs. ago I put together a book of
religious type poems that I wrote and printed up, even copyrighted it. 
It was a fun project.  Years ago I was a typesetter for a printing company
so I knew pretty much how to go about it.  I titled it Nighttime Inspirations
because 95pc of them were written during the night hours.
I wrote devotion for devotionals.  Lately been thinking about writing again.
All the ideas for the cookbooks sound great with family recipes, pics, memories,
that will be fun projects for you to do. Old family recipes are the best.
I guess I will have to think of a project. Sons are not interested in cookbooks.
maybe family pic. album or something.
Bajanne, you must be so excited with your family gathering coming up.
I know you must be eagerly looking forward to that time. I'm glad for you.

[jbeany]

I think we all end up with the blues because they start hyping Christmas and Christmas shopping so early and for so long.  It becomes one giant consumer frenzy and we don't focus on anything that is really important. 

Christmas was my mom's favorite holiday, so it always seems like I miss her more at Christmas than any other time of the year.  She went crazy with decorating and baking and gifts.  It's sort of an impossible standard to live up to now, and I've had to step back and realize that I can't match it, so I shouldn't try.
 
No one in our family has that much time or energy to spend going all out like she did, so now we try and focus only on the things we miss most.  The food usually tops the list.  I make everything from scratch - cinnamon rolls, cookies, fudge, candies - lots of stuff I can't eat more than a nibble of, but I find that the baking is more important to me than the eating.  (I've always got plenty of volunteers for the eating part of things, anyhow.)  We don't decorate much - a small tree and a few lights, but it always looks Christmasy with all the snow we get anyhow.  And last year, we finally got smart enough to stop doing gifts for anyone except the little kids.  (It took me a while to convince everyone that no one's feelings were going to be hurt if we stopped doing gifts, but it was worth the effort.)  Without the gift shopping, it was the least expensive, most relaxing Christmas we've ever had.  Shopping for the kids was easy - one trip to the toy aisle, pick a theme and it's all done.  Last year, everyone got a little metal lunch box with little pads of paper and markers or crayons.  This year, I'm thinking art supplies for everyone according to their ages.

We end up spending the day cooking, eating and talking.  It only takes the kids a short while to open presents, so that's no longer a giant production. 

My motto for holidays now is "Simplify, simplify, simplify."

My step brother will be in Iraq for Christmas this year, so all the things we want for Christmas won't come gift wrapped from a store anyhow.

[mallory]

Paris,  When we made our cookbook we scanned the recipes instead of copying them.  That takes out the yellowing and the aging, but sometimes you still get some marks from stains.  You can remove most of them on your PC, but if the recipe was too badly stained, we just typed it.  Also, my Mom wrote a lot of stuff in pencil and that was harder to scan.  But it was a fun project and does bring back good memories.

Ohio Buckeye,  I'll bet your sons would love a family scrapbook or photo album.  We made one for my uncle that had pictures from when he was a growing up and he just loved it.  We had a bunch of 35mm slides that my Dad had taken, and we have a scanner that can scan slides.  We scanned the slides and then printed the photographs and made them into a scrapbook.  He really cherishes it because his family didn't have a lot of photographs, so it's a very nice memory for him. 

For me, the hardest month to get through is January.  The holidays are over, it just gets colder and gloomier here in Utah, and it seems like there's nothing to look forward to.  I'm going to have to plan my project to work on during January, I'm thinking of getting my sister to teach my how to knit.  I'm terrible at that domestic kind of stuff, but at least it would be a challenge!

[paris]

Mallory, I probably wrote my post wrong. I color copied so they could see how old and how used the recipe was. I could have scanned or retyped, but wanted it to look like the original.  I also include a short memory with the recipe.  It is fun to see everyone coming up with ideas to "get thru" the holidays.  I do look forward to the Christmas break ( I teach) and getting more rest than usual . 

[Sluff]

   For those that need a little pick me up. I hope this helps.


Always Have a Dream

Forget about the days
     When it's been cloudy,
 but don't forget your hours in the sun...

Forget about the times
      you've been defeated,
 but don't forget the victories you've won.

Forget about mistakes
     that you can't change now,
 but don't forget the lessons
     that you've learned...

Forget about misfortunes
     you've encountered,
 but don't forgetthe times
     your luck has turned.

Forget about the days
     when you've been lonely.
 but don't forget
     the friendly smiles you've seen...

Forget about the plans
     that didn't seem
         to work out right.

 but don't forget
     to always have a
           dream.

author: AMANDA BRADLEY
     

[Ohio Buckeye]

That is good, Sluff.
Thanks for sharing that.

[jasperkat]

I wanted to wish all of you a Merry Christmas.  I figured this would be a good place.  This year is so much better for my husband and me.  Last year he was in the emergency room on this date and then into the hospital and onto Hemo.  On Christmas eve he was discharged to a nursing home because he was too week to come home.  We spent Christmas and New Years there.  I am so thankful that he is back home and continuing to improve.  After the holidays were are going to begin the transplant list process.  He is 77 years old so I don't know if this will work. But for right now  It is Christmas and we are together.

[mallory]

Merry Christmas to you and your husband, jasperkat!  I'm so glad you're having a better year.  I hope you have a wonderful holiday and an even better year in 2007!   

[anja]

  Thank you jaspercat for the good holiday wishes!  May all go well for the two of you in the new year!

[paris]

Wishing you a good holiday and a calm new year.