No going back, ever?

[Tallons5]

Hello to all....well this is my last day before my pd catheter surgery, tomorrow morning at 9:00am I am terribly anxious and so many things to think about, I know its for the best and my wife keeps reminding me of the positives but she has left for work and the kids are off to school and I am left to my thoughts.
A year and a half ago I had surgery for a total shoulder replacement I had resisted the surgery for almost a year even tho I was in great amount of pain every day it was the knowledge of never being able to go back, there would not be a shoulder there if the metal was taken out, my kids even thought if was cool, dad part robot! My wife finally made the apt. because she couldn't take my crabby moods anymore!
Never going back, does anyone ever go back? that is with out the transplant?
I know I have never been very kind to my One kidney, years ago I used to drink alcohol and do all the other things a younger man would do, I was a Biker back then it has been 25 and some years since I stopped and began living a traditional(Native American) life, in the beginning because of getting in trouble and later because it seemed simply the right thing to do.
Am I on a one way trail now?

[RichardMEL]

yes mate it is a one way journey.. but it doesn't have to be a bad one.

Even with a transplant while the catheter will be removed obviously you'll still have that reminder. For me with my fistula I know I'll always have that. It doesn't bother me really. I am who I am... a bit of a deformed arm just makes me more of a character I reckon!! More unique.

I understand your anxiety about the operation and what the future holds, but when you need to use that cathether you'll be glad it's in and hiopefully dialysis will make you feel more stable and better about things.

It's just a different phase of life. It doesn't have to be a bad phase... it's what you make of it.

I like travelling

[Tallons5]

Thank you RM for such wise words, I am busy cleaning house, trying to keep my thoughts occupied, Imagine that! big bad ex-biker cleaning house, I am no neat freak but with 4 people and 7 cats there is lots to clean every day.
I think I will go for a ride to ease my mind maby some shopping too.
Again thank you for your words.

[Chris]

I get what you mean, reminds me of my first surgery ever and my latest surgery I had on my eye.

This time though for you though it is to preserve your life so can spend more time with your wife and kids by being able to do PD dialysis rather than the alternative of being 6 ft below ground.

[KICKSTART]

  Dont worry its not as bad as you think , a nice little sleep and its all done ! It does however take 6 weeks for all to heal properly. If you start to visit the PD section you will find all your questions answered. Ive just come off PD after a good few years and started on hemo and to be honest compared to this, i loved pd !!! Hope all goes well , best of wishes KS

[monrein]

I hope that you will start to feel better than you have in a while Tallons, once you actually start on the PD and start getting rid of those toxins.  That might help you to feel that even though there's no going back, you're actually glad to have gone forward because you will hopefully have more energy...to clean or ride or whatever.  I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

[peleroja]

If, by going back, you mean will your one kidney ever function normally, probably not.  However, you do have options.  PD, hemo, and transplant.  Even with hemo you can choose to go to the clinic or do it at home.  And, of course, you always have us.  All of us have been there, done that in one form or another.  Bring us your questions and concerns and someone will have answers for you.  Keep us posted on how you're doing.

[Tallons5]

Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragement, went for that ride to clear my thoughts and at one moment found a suv going wrong way in a one-way my lane! with car next to my right , 55mph to 0mph found meaning of life really fast...lost my 'bleeping' antenna, forgot my money, came home,went out again this time came home on slower road (safer?) going west the guy to my left swerved into my lane to avoid the car in front who had stopped, I swerved only to find a truck in the turning lane facing me! made it through obviously since I am typing this, second time today found meaning of life.
Oh! and found my antenna 2 blocks from home.

[Tallons5]

Construction crew is resurfacing the road in front of my house.....hmm should I go out again or stay home?

[Chris]

Wait till lunch when they all stop or at 4"45 pm, they should all be gone by then, Union rules it's the law!

[Tallons5]

I like that about union rules LOL! Well I went out this time took the van I figured if the'r out to get me I'd rather be in a vehicle.
The construction crew started with one little machine which promptly broke down this is going to take some time I think.

[kellyt]

Good luck with your surgery tomorrow, Tallon!   

[jbeany]

Forward is easier than back, tallon.   It's big and scary at the beginning, but it will eventually become routine.  Learn as much as you can - the better informed you are, the better choices you can make, and the easier it is to stand up for proper treatment if you do run into problems.

Good luck with the surgery!

Love the kitty picture!

[*kana*]

Hi,

We all know what you are going through right now.  I often get the feeling that everything in my life will change and all problems eventually have a way of working out, except this kidney failure thing.  I get a bit of anxiety over that feeling and often look at other problems as totally trivial.  There is no way out of kidney failure. 

I just had my PD placed a week in a half ago.  You will do just fine after the first 2-3 days.  Remember to mark a line on your belly where your jean waist line falls so they don't place your exit site there.     Good luck!

[marti824]

good luck tomorrow, hope all goes well.  the surgery is no big deal, you'll wake up and it will be over. thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Tallons5]

A thank you to everyone for your kind thoughts and words it has been a long day took my kids to the doctor for their checkup they needed vaccinations my son did great and my daughter...we it took 3 of us to hold her down just for one shot, to be honest I cried seeing what she was going through,(not the manly thing to do I know) but it was quick and I took them to the mall for Icecream later as my wife met us we had supper, something we never do, the mall is to expensive! I told my wife it felt like my last meal....overly dramatic I know.
Well not long now must try to sleep, thanks again for the encouragement.

[RichardMEL]

the kitty pic reminds me of David13?!!!!

[Tallons5]

Hello ML the kitty's name is Spunky he is my alpha male, the boss of the Kitty's he is like the Don of the Kitty's he lowers his head and each one licks or kisses his forhead!

[Tallons5]

Well I back....surgery went well the sturgeon or surgeon insisted on doing an upper chest exit site, he made it sound like that was all he would do or no surgery (didn't know they could do that) oh well its done, in some pain as expected and itching from all the tape they used and the exit site its self, must resist I know.
Biggest problem is having problems urinating, not supposed to strain but half to a little just to empty my bladder, hope this problem goes away like they say it will, the nurse didn't seem to concerned with my problem.
Anyway 3 weeks to heal and then the training starts, if I haven't accepted the whole kidney thing by now its to late!!
The worse thing is not being able to ride until it all heals!!
Thanks again for the words of encouragement.

[KICKSTART]

Glad its all done for you now ! Suprised they did a chest exit site ? why was that ? As for passing urine , there is no reason why you should strain , also no reason why you shouldnt continue to pass as normal , only it will probably be less now as dialysis takes a good part of that way now. Once you get into PD and are trained up ask to go onto APD ,(the nightime machine) then all your days are free !  PS ..sorry to bring this up but watch for constipation now , it can affect your drain !

[paul.karen]

Glad it is over for you.
You can be riding in about a week if all goes well.  I was back to work after a week and riding even lifting (i know thats a no no).
Not sure why your doc insisted for a chest exit??  But it is done now and the positive side to a chest exit is you can take baths and go into hottubs which you wouldn't be able to do if it exited your stomach or belly.
I agree with kickstart about APD.  I went straight to ADP, did a few manuals just to learn how to.  I am almost a month into this and the drain pain is gone and im sleeping as well as ever.  Which means not so well but i have never slept well.

Ps.  yeah eat some stool softeners i have never been constipated in my life, i know all to well what it is like now.  I eat a few every other day just to be safe.

[Chris]

Glad it went well Tallon, although have no idea what you said since not familiar with PD. I just thought it was a tube in the abdoment where a membrane helps filter and exits through that same tube.