Gift of organ donation keeps mother going despite loss

[okarol]

COMMENTARY
Gift of organ donation keeps mother going despite loss
By MARY SANCHEZ
The Kansas City Star

Despite the tears, the sorrow in her expression, Cynthia Pecina will convince you that her son Joseph is still living.

Her voice is calm and assured as she explains: A 65-year-old real estate agent, married 46 years and a father to three children, received Joseph’s heart.

A 43-year-old, also married, with two children, has Joseph’s liver.

A 14-year-old girl will return to school, freed from a dialysis machine because of Joseph’s kidney. Its mate ended a man’s two-year wait.

Two people now see with Joseph’s corneas. His marrow will go to cancer patients, grafts will be made of his bones and connective tissue. Amputations will be avoided. Veins will be transplanted.

Dozens will experience a better life through the death of one 18-year-old, Joseph Pecina-Pine, who — just hours after proudly crossing a stage to accept his high school diploma — suffered fatal head trauma in a May car wreck.

As his mother learns more details from the Midwest Transplant Network, she talks of her loss as an unimagined gift, a way to appreciate life. But this Kansas City mother always held those values.

Joseph’s death was just the tragic trigger to bring them into action.

Pecina had long preached about the selfless gift of organ donation. It was a bit of a family joke, how so little of her body should be left that just a few ashes would remain to scatter in Mexico.

So that horrible night when doctors declared her son gone, her first wish was to find his wallet. He had insisted on signing the organ donor option.

“Save every part of his body for others,” she recalls saying. “I want him to live for others.”

Despite our fascination with medicine, a plethora of hospital-related TV shows, only 38 percent of licensed drivers are registered to be donors.

Pecina would like to tell them how preparations for harvest gave her time for a goodbye. She rested beside her son. She held his warm hand, listened to his heart beat, smiled at the gel in his hair, the smell of his familiar cologne.

A friend of Joseph’s, 21-year-old Evaristo Limas, also died that night. He was driving the pickup that sped from police and rolled four times. Pecina’s aware that the other young man had mixed drinking with driving before and was on probation. The accident toxicology reports are not yet available.

“It’s not his family’s fault,” she says, with not a hint of hesitancy. “They lost a brother, a son, just as we did.”

Pecina’s sorrow is as deep as any parent’s in this situation. But it’s also different. I suspect this is because of how she chooses to live through her son’s passing.

The name Joseph means “God increases.”

“It keeps me going, knowing that he is still alive in somebody, that is the biggest gift,” she said. “He’s going with God, but he is still living.”

To reach Mary Sanchez, call 816-234-4752 or send e-mail to msanchez@kcstar.com.
Posted on Wed, Jul. 29, 2009 11:14 PM

http://www.kansascity.com/115/story/1354023.html

[crupert]

COMMENTARY
Gift of organ donation keeps mother going despite loss
By MARY SANCHEZ
The Kansas City Star

Despite the tears, the sorrow in her expression, Cynthia Pecina will convince you that her son Joseph is still living.

Her voice is calm and assured as she explains: A 65-year-old real estate agent, married 46 years and a father to three children, received Joseph’s heart.

A 43-year-old, also married, with two children, has Joseph’s liver.

A 14-year-old girl will return to school, freed from a dialysis machine because of Joseph’s kidney. Its mate ended a man’s two-year wait.

Two people now see with Joseph’s corneas. His marrow will go to cancer patients, grafts will be made of his bones and connective tissue. Amputations will be avoided. Veins will be transplanted.

Dozens will experience a better life through the death of one 18-year-old, Joseph Pecina-Pine, who — just hours after proudly crossing a stage to accept his high school diploma — suffered fatal head trauma in a May car wreck.

As his mother learns more details from the Midwest Transplant Network, she talks of her loss as an unimagined gift, a way to appreciate life. But this Kansas City mother always held those values.

Joseph’s death was just the tragic trigger to bring them into action.

Pecina had long preached about the selfless gift of organ donation. It was a bit of a family joke, how so little of her body should be left that just a few ashes would remain to scatter in Mexico.

So that horrible night when doctors declared her son gone, her first wish was to find his wallet. He had insisted on signing the organ donor option.

“Save every part of his body for others,” she recalls saying. “I want him to live for others.”

Despite our fascination with medicine, a plethora of hospital-related TV shows, only 38 percent of licensed drivers are registered to be donors.

Pecina would like to tell them how preparations for harvest gave her time for a goodbye. She rested beside her son. She held his warm hand, listened to his heart beat, smiled at the gel in his hair, the smell of his familiar cologne.

A friend of Joseph’s, 21-year-old Evaristo Limas, also died that night. He was driving the pickup that sped from police and rolled four times. Pecina’s aware that the other young man had mixed drinking with driving before and was on probation. The accident toxicology reports are not yet available.

“It’s not his family’s fault,” she says, with not a hint of hesitancy. “They lost a brother, a son, just as we did.”

Pecina’s sorrow is as deep as any parent’s in this situation. But it’s also different. I suspect this is because of how she chooses to live through her son’s passing.

The name Joseph means “God increases.”

“It keeps me going, knowing that he is still alive in somebody, that is the biggest gift,” she said. “He’s going with God, but he is still living.”

To reach Mary Sanchez, call 816-234-4752 or send e-mail to msanchez@kcstar.com.
Posted on Wed, Jul. 29, 2009 11:14 PM

http://www.kansascity.com/115/story/1354023.html

WOW!  Just have to say wow and share our story with this board.
This article was posted in July 2009, two months after Lindsey received her transplant but I never saw it.  It wasn't until recently, after connecting with Lindsey's donor family that I found this article posted on IHATEDiaLYSIS.com. 
Lindsey was the 14 year old girl on dialysis mentioned in the article.  Cynthia Pine and I chat regularly and I'd like to think that Lindsey's story is comforting to her.  Cynthia has set up a scholarship in her son's name at the school he graduated from.  On May 24, the 3-year anniversary of the actual transplant, Lindsey will join Cynthia to present the scholarship at the graduation ceremony at the school Joseph graduated from.  It gives me goosebumps !

Blessings,
Connie