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Author Topic: Yet again, I don't exist!  (Read 11205 times)
cat
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« on: June 08, 2009, 04:17:48 PM »

 :rant;  It happened again and I am getting sick of it!

My husband and I went to a major retail store to buy a stove.  The salesman smiled at me a couple of times but spoke only to my husband!  If I asked a question, he directed his answer to my husband.  I guess if you are in a wheelchair, you must be deaf or something?  We found a different store!

This is not the first time either.  We were fishing at a small lake and a couple stopped to chat.  They spoke only to my husband.  They even asked him questions relating to me - as if I couldn't hear or answer for myself.  My husband is as frustrated by this kind of behavior as I.  He usually says something to the effect of "I'm not sure; why don't you ask her?"

The most frustrating experience was when my husband's cardiologist did the same thing.   Right in front of me, he asked my husband how I was doing!!   :Kit n Stik; 
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cat
dwcrawford
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Getting the heck out of town.

« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2009, 04:21:12 PM »

Oh my gosh, I'm sorry to hear that.  That is so rude.
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Come to think of it, nothing is funny anymore.

Nothing that I post here is intended for fact but rather for exploration into my personal thought processes.  Any slight, use of words with multiple connotations or other percieved insults are totally unintended.  I reserve my insults for private.
Rerun
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Going through life tied to a chair!

« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2009, 04:24:15 PM »

That is about all you can do is "speak" up and say "I'm right here.."  Or you could ask your husband, "what did he say?".... (right in front of them)   Hang in there.

                              :cuddle;
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cat
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« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2009, 04:31:32 PM »

Rerun, I like your idea.  BUT, I think I'll have my husband ask me "What did he say?"   :rofl;
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cat
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« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2009, 04:34:33 PM »

Quote
Rerun, I like your idea.  BUT, I think I'll have my husband ask me "What did he say?"   :rofl;

Oh that is gooooood. And I thought Rerun's idea was classic, but yours is even better!

 :rofl; :rofl;
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Rerun
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Going through life tied to a chair!

« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2009, 04:47:10 PM »

YES!  Next time have your husband "pretend" he is deaf and he has to look to you for interpertation!  You could do sign language and everything.  And remember to talk loud!  HE SAID THE STOVE IS ON SALE TODAY!!!

                                          :yahoo;

That will get you in the loop!     :cuddle;
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cat
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« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2009, 04:49:00 PM »

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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cat
kitkatz
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« Reply #7 on: June 08, 2009, 05:15:10 PM »

Rerun you crack me  up!   Great idea!
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Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

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jbeany
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« Reply #8 on: June 08, 2009, 06:00:36 PM »

Nevada Barr's novel "Hard Truth" features a character in a wheelchair.  At one point, after getting the same treatment, the woman yells, "It's a wheelchair, not a f***ing cone of silence!"   :clap;

hope you and your hubby have fun with the mime routine!
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« Reply #9 on: June 08, 2009, 08:09:01 PM »

We found a different store!
Good for you. I hope they understood that they lost your business because of their treatment of you.

Cat, we go through this a lot too.

When people ask me questions about Rolando and he is right there with me (in his wheelchair), I will frequently ponder their question briefly and say "Well, I don't know", then turn to Rolando and ask "Rolando... (repeating the question that was asked of me). Rolando will then answer me directly, and I will turn to the person and repeat Rolando's answer verbatim. It is such an absurd exchange that they usually get the point.

Alene
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MandaMe1986
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« Reply #10 on: June 09, 2009, 12:28:08 AM »

Wow I can't believe how people act.  How can you be so rude? :waiting;
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cariad
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« Reply #11 on: June 09, 2009, 09:41:45 AM »

Cat, I am sorry you are going through this. What an appalling lack of manners! I love your solution, though. If you end up using it, please let us know the details, so we can all have a good laugh at the next jerk's expense.

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dwcrawford
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Getting the heck out of town.

« Reply #12 on: June 09, 2009, 09:47:09 AM »

I'm very sorry about your problems, Cat, but remember this society all in all is a rude one.  It isn't you or your chair.  Its just rudeness.
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Come to think of it, nothing is funny anymore.

Nothing that I post here is intended for fact but rather for exploration into my personal thought processes.  Any slight, use of words with multiple connotations or other percieved insults are totally unintended.  I reserve my insults for private.
peleroja
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I have 16 hats, all the same style!

« Reply #13 on: June 10, 2009, 01:53:28 PM »

I wouldn't have just found a different store, I would have complained to the manager, and then written a letter of complaint to the president of the company!
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kristina
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« Reply #14 on: March 22, 2014, 04:22:31 PM »

.... Unfortunately, when you are "bound" in a wheelchair..... it is so hard for people to realize that you are still a living person... as I have noticed...

... I remember when I was in a wheel chair - after suffering a stroke - .... everyone talked "over me" as if I was not quite there mentally....

...I was also generally treated by medics as if I was dumb and stupid and unable to understand and many medics screamed at me...

....hoping I would understand them better.... if they screamed at me.... they never realized that I understood them straight away....
...., but through the stroke I was "locked up" within myself.... I had become too shocked and completely traumatized through the stroke...

...and that made me unable to communicate... with anyone...unfortunately medics have not yet understood the terrible trauma of a stroke victim completely....

....shame on the medics for being so very insensitive to stroke victims  ... !
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« Reply #15 on: January 05, 2019, 05:45:13 AM »

Unfortunately, this kind of behavior is not limited to those in wheelchairs.  Though I do use a chair occasionally, I don't use it as often as I do my cane (it's a white mobility cane, not a support cane). 

A few years ago, my mom and I went to a flu shot clinic.  The nurse at the clinic was very nice, but the second she saw my cane, she began to speak louder.  Mom looked at her and said, loudly so everyone could hear, "she's blind, not deaf."

I love my mom...
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dialysis - May 2004-present
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