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Author Topic: Marvin's niece is denied as donor  (Read 2919 times)
petey
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« on: May 01, 2009, 08:29:50 PM »

Marvin got a call on April 1, but he didn't get the kidney (9th call from the cadaveric list that didn't work out).  That next day, his niece Cory (24 years old) started the testing to see if she could be a living donor for Marvin (she was our 9th potential donor to get tested).  Cory isn't Marvin's biological niece (she was adopted by Marvin's brother when she was a young child after he married Cory's mom), but we've always thought of her as "one of us."

She got the results back today, and she called Marvin.  She isn't a match (0/6) for Marvin, even though they have the same blood type (O+).  She said the transplant coordinator called her and said she wasn't a possible donor.  Then, Cory called us, and she was crying.  She said, "I'm so sorry, Uncle Marvin."  And Marvin told her, "It's okay, Baby.  You made the offer, and that is a great gift in and of itself."

Marvin said he didn't get his hopes up too much that Cory would match.  I think he has resigned himself to the realization that with his high PRA (98%), it will be a miracle if he gets another transplant.  He seems okay with that, but I think way in the back of his mind and heart he's still thinking...maybe, just maybe, one day.

And, as Marvin says, Life goes on.  Tomorrow's another day.  The sun will come up in the morning, and his youth baseball team has a game tomorrow afternoon.  And, there are still people we love willing to step up and try.  That's enough for now.  Marvin's actually handling the "rejection" better than Cory; she wanted so badly to be Marvin's donor.
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rose1999
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« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2009, 11:25:18 PM »

Oh Petey I'm so sorry you've all had another knock back.  You guys deserve a break so much.  Tell Cory her IHD family are as proud of her as you are, it was a generous and genuine offer but sadly it just wasn't to be.

Give Marvin a great big hug and tell him he's still in my prayers  :cuddle; and so are you  :cuddle;  I pray for that miracle. xx
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Sluff
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« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2009, 05:13:44 AM »

Sorry to hear that Marvin.  :(  Keep positive when one door closes another opens. (Don't you just hate the optimistic statements like those?) I really do hope someone else steps forward.
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David13
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A meow massages the heart.

« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2009, 05:16:08 AM »

So sorry to hear about this.  Both you and Marvin are such an inspiration.   :grouphug;
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monrein
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« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2009, 06:05:40 AM »

I'm so sorry that Cory wasn't a match but I'll continue to hope for a kidney for Marvin.
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
jbeany
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Cattitude

« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2009, 06:15:05 AM »

 :grouphug;
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"Asbestos Gelos"  (As-bes-tos yay-lohs) Greek. Literally, "fireproof laughter".  A term used by Homer for invincible laughter in the face of death and mortality.

Wattle
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« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2009, 06:24:22 AM »


Hoping the right kidney will come to Marvin soon.  :grouphug;

I am sure his golf swing can continue to improve while waiting.  :cuddle;
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PKD
June 2005 Commenced PD Dialysis
July 13th 2009 Cadaveric 5/6 Antigen Match Transplant from my Special Angel
willieandwinnie
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« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2009, 09:27:31 AM »

 :grouphug; petey, I'm sorry to read this news. Bless Cory's heart for getting tested. Marvin's call will come, I just know it.  :cuddle;
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RichardMEL
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« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2009, 09:40:53 AM »

I'm sorry Petey but every time I read about "your" Marvin I think of my sister's Marvin. Only her Marvin is a big cat who doesn't like me much!!!  :rofl;

Gee, as we say down here "how much can a koala bear?" Marvin just takes it on the chin! I can't imagine the frustrations and let downs of 9 calls, 9 donors... pretty soon you can have a football team! I guess though I would probably react in a similar way in that situation - I mean realistically what can you do? The beautiful thing is the offer was made and testing done - we can't possibly ask any more of our family can we? She can't help her blood and that's the way it is.

We all pray for something good to happen for Marvin (the man, not the cat!) - sometimes these things happen when you least expect it....
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
willowtreewren
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My two beautifull granddaughters

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« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2009, 12:16:05 PM »

Oh, Petey,
So sorry, so sorry.  :'(

Even though we say that the real gift is taking that enormous step, there is still the disappointment.

And I understand how sad Cory must be. Our last donor was so devastated. She wrote up that in the event of her death, a kidney is to go to Carl. All legal.

I am thinking of you and Marvin. Been thinking about you lately.
Aleta
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
Mother to Meagan, who has PKD.
Partner for NxStage HD August 2008 - February 2011.
Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
petey
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« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2009, 03:55:59 PM »

Good day today for Marvin.  He got up excited that his little team had a game, and he carried his team early to the field so they could watch the game that was played ahead of them.  Marvin's team won, 35-0, so Marvin was happy about that, too.  The other team was kind of weak (ya think?), and Marvin's boys got a little bored.  They decided Marvin's "bumblebee" (aka his fistula) would be their lucky charm, so the boys had to each touch it before they went to bat.  They are convinced that's what made them hit the ball so good today !   Go figure -- only something a kid could come up with!

It was hot here today (about 85 F), so EVERYBODY had to make sure Marvin was okay every 5 minutes or so (boys and parents alike -- "You okay, Coach Marvin?"  "You need water?"  "You need ice?"  "Do you want to sit on the bench?").  Most of the talk in the dug out was about kidneys, not being able to sweat, not being able to "pee," why you should take care of your kidneys, and how a dialysis access looks and feels (even a "lucky" one). The children have a lot of questions, and Marvin thinks it's a part of his job to help them learn about things other than baseball.
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rose1999
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« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2009, 11:05:33 PM »

It's no wonder you want to keep Marvin (and those blue eyes  ;)) to yourself and not let him loose on here!!  He's an absolute star and an inspiration to everyone.  I'm sending him a hug  :cuddle; please pass it on and tell him I feel honoured and humbled to be part of the IHD family when it includes people like him, I admire him SO much, what a wonderful attitude he has.
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