The look of death

[LifeOnHold]

Has anyone else here had the experience of looking at a new patient and just knowing that they will die soon?

I've noticed that patients whose faces get thin and mask-like often die within one or two weeks-- I saw the same thing on both my grandparents' faces just before they died.  I've asked some of my nurses about this, and they say they've noticed it also.

[Epoman]

Has anyone else here had the experience of looking at a new patient and just knowing that they will die soon?

I've noticed that patients whose faces get thin and mask-like often die within one or two weeks-- I saw the same thing on both my grandparents' faces just before they died.  I've asked some of my nurses about this, and they say they've noticed it also.

Yet another reason I am anti-social at my center and only talk to a couple of patients. I don't look at the other patients when I'm there. I say buy to a couple but it short and sweet "See you later" "Have a good weekend" "Bye (name)" and that's about it. Some of the patients must think I am a asshole, but I am not there to make friends. Plus I am one of the few ones at the center that are young.

Maybe it's just that I am bitter (I said BITTER not better). that alot of the patients at my center have been on for only a few years or less but they over 50+ years old. I feel cheated. They had a chance to live life and raise their kids, and maybe travel. I hate the fact that I was 21 when I was diagnosed. I know, I know, I know there are babies born with the disease but I was born healthy and that's what I knew. I knew what it was like to be healthy and be normal. Then one day have everything taken from me at once (Read my story in the "Introductions" section).

Sorry to Hijack your thread "LifeOnHold". 

[LifeOnHold]

Hello, Homeland Security?  I've been hijacked! 

Originally I wasn't going to make friends at my unit, but after being there so long I got to know a lot of the nurses and patients and started talking to them.  I really don't socialize outside of dialysis, so the people in my unit are the only people I talk to on a regular basis.  It's hard when patients you talk to get that 'look'-- I don't tell them, because they seem to already know that their lives are coming to a close.

I feel the same way about having been cheated out of a normal life... I don't think it would be this hard if I was already in my 70's, like most of the other patients, and had already raised a family and seen grandchildren born... I'll never get a chance to do that now.

[okarol]

I can picture the 2 of them talking away - they are together now, I think.

Hey, Epoman and LifeOnHold -- if you're reading this  Hello!

[stauffenberg]

The phenomenon you have noticed is well known in the medical profession and even has its own technical name: 'the Hippocratic signs.'  Patients with a sallow, shrunken, mask-like face and a prominent nose have been known since Antiquity to be on the verge of death, and these features are called the 'Hippocratic signs' after Hippocrates, the great Greek physician who first recorded them.

I remember once in the dialysis center a patient came in with what he and everyone else thought was a stubborn case of the flu which he had not been able to shake for more than a month.  The nephrologist took one look at him, said the patient "did not look right" to him, and had him taken by ambulance to the hospital right after dialysis.  The patient, then only 35 years old, died two days later of liver cancer.

[goofynina]

I can picture the 2 of them talking away - they are together now, I think.

Hey, Epoman and LifeOnHold -- if you're reading this  Hello!

I was thinking the same thing my friend,    

[Deanne]

Along the same lines, has anyone else noticed how sometimes seriously ill people seem to rally / get better and then suddenly pass? It's almost as if they're giving one last mphfff to say "goodbye."

[ODAT]

Along the same lines, has anyone else noticed how sometimes seriously ill people seem to rally / get better and then suddenly pass? It's almost as if they're giving one last mphfff to say "goodbye."

Though this is hard for me to write, I think it will help people understand what's happening. My brother passed 3 years ago from lung cancer. Three days before he died, he was sitting up, eating, and very optimistic. He had told some friends that stopped by that he thought he was on the rebound and couldn't wait to have the homemade soup they promised to make him. I could see a tear in my brother's eye when they left though.

About a week before my dad passed, he had just been in ER with another infection. Back on strong antibiotics - the next day we found him sitting in his chair, eating, and talking! He had barely said two words in over a week prior. We were excited and thought he'd be coming home (or at least to a nursing facility).

So I do agree that it seems there is a point toward the end this may happen. It is deceiving to say the least. The signs that I noticed in hindsight with my brother and my father was that within two days of passing they were very restless. The day before my brother passed I was alone with him all day. His fiancee was supposed to come up but couldn't find a stupid ride (that's another story). He kept sitting up. Told me he wanted the chair I was sitting in so he could put his feet up. He did for about 2 minutes. And even though my dad could not move (due to his brain tumor and swelling in the brain), plus being on morphine, he still moved his 'good' arm through the air like he was reaching out. I like to think he was reaching towards something and not pushing away.

I was with my dad closer to the end and did see that his face changed so dramatically so quickly. And he had the bruised looking marks (I forget what they call it) on his feet, but it was also on his knees, which meant his body was shutting down.

I apologize if I've gotten too detailed. The moderators can edit if needed...

[MyssAnne]

I've noticed the look, when my mom passed away she had that. She was also very restless a day or so before dying. She died at home, no tubes, just a nice quiet peaceful death with her family. We thank God for that. Literally. At least she got to die peacefully. 

[goofynina]

Here is a big ol' Goofynina hug for you ODAT  and MyssAnne  ,  thank you both for sharing

[ODAT]

Here is a big ol' Goofynina hug for you ODAT  and MyssAnne  ,  thank you both for sharing

I felt that goofynina! Glad you're here...

[Sluff]

I give hugs too!!  {{{{{{{{{ HUG}}}}}}}}}}   

[ODAT]

I give hugs too!!  {{{{{{{{{ HUG}}}}}}}}}}   

ahhh sluff... I'm gonna give you one back too!  Hey, we all deserve one 

Have a good night everyone

[okarol]

I can picture the 2 of them talking away - they are together now, I think.

Hey, Epoman and LifeOnHold -- if you're reading this  Hello!

I was thinking the same thing my friend,    

I know you're all together. Hi guys! 

[Sluff]

 

[NVRWKN]

Quit crying about being cheated out of your life. You still have one don't you? I started on dialysis when I was 25. I never onec complained or felt cheated. Live life as it's delt to you. It could be worse.

[vandie]

Quit crying about being cheated out of your life. You still have one don't you? I started on dialysis when I was 25. I never onec complained or felt cheated. Live life as it's delt to you. It could be worse.

Holy crap!!  Who in Earth are you addressing?

[Sluff]

I was thinking the same thing.

[Gramapat]

I'm new but I was just going to report that post because it certainly sounds to me like he is addressing 2 people who are no longer with us!

[NVRWKN]

Sorry if I offened anyone. I must have misread something. Please for give me. I haven't been myself today.

[Sluff]

All is forgiven. Sometimes we all have bad days.

[NVRWKN]

Thank you!! i still feel like an ass.

[kitkatz]

It's okay.  I posted something on one board that was in the wrong place.  We all have our days!

[Gramapat]

Yeah - I think we all have those days once in awhile.  (Even me) 

Sluff says all is forgiven - so let's just forget it! 

[cris]

NVRWKN,
seriouslly, I really admire your courage. Live on!