My Match...but am I ready?

[MelissaJean]

I found out yesterday my friend is a kidney match.    There are a couple more people being tested so the docs are not sure yet  who is the best match. 
There has been a lot of talk about people who are young giving transplant to someone.  Perhaps I am being selfish by letting my friends do it.  I guess they think I am selfish if I don't.  There was an article I read once and it said "The donor benefits more from the process to give life, than the donee who gets it"  I have always wished I could be a donor, even before reading that. 
Anyway... looking at transplant this summer or next.  Not sure if I am mentally ready to undergo a major surgery.  When deciding if I wanted a lung  transplant I was in the hospital talking to someone and it just clicked that I wanted to have one.  Although the option was life or death.... here I have dialysis.. which currently is working out OK.
Besides gaining knowledge about the surgery, how have you prepared?

[Minea]

Hi Melissa,
Doctors have told me that the surgery is actually very simple. For donerit is far more complicated. I decided not to even test my mother but that is of course because I have so good chance to get one from the list quite soon.

[Epoman]

We wish you the best what ever you decide, and what ever you do decide you know we will always be here for you to come and ask questions about things that concern you. But in my opinion you already had a much, much more major surgery with the lung transplant, a kidney transplant is much less invasive than a lung transplant. You are blessed to have such wonderful friends. 

[mallory]

MelissaJean,  You can do this.  If you already had a lung transplant, this won't be as bad.  I know it's a big, scary step, but you can do it.  I'll keep you in my thoughts, I'm hoping for a kidney transplant myself someday, but I might not qualify because I might also need a lung transplant (isn't that ironic?).  So, you do this, and be strong. 

From all of your posts, I can tell you're tough, hang in there and GO FOR IT!!

[Sara]

Congrats on your match!  I'm not in your situation, but I say if your friend(s) are fully aware of all the risks, and there's no history of kidney problems in their family, then go for it!  They wouldn't have offered and went through the testing if they didn't want to help you.

[thom]

you have great friends that's for sur.e

[GuyIncognito]

Don't ever feel like your putting someone out... If they have decided to go thru with all the tests then they have also come to terms with what the operation entails.
My father has a Kidney from my aunt, my Uncle has one from another Uncle my aunt has one from another aunt and my first Kidney came from my mother....I can tell you from experience that those that donated say that it was the single greatest thing they have ever done in there lives.
However I know how hard it can be to ask for someone to donate to you... but when it get's you off dialysis and into a normal healthy life you two will share something that no one can ever compare too.

[Rerun]

A person can live a full life with 1 kidney.  Your friend will do fine.  They will put her through a LOT of tests too to make sure she is able and healthy to give a kidney. 

One good thing about being on the Transplant list waiting for a cadaver donor......you don't have time to prepare.  You get the call you go for a final cross match and if all is well then you go under.  You wake up peeing (hopefully).

[goofynina]

MelissaJean,  How exciting for you, girlfriend,  i live by the saying "The only things in life that we regret are the risks that we dont take"  hope that helps with your decision,  we are here for you friend.... 

[Minea]

How marvelous to have so good friend! I could not imagine that any of my friends would offer to give me kidney... Sometimes my friends does not seem to remember that I am not all well.

I have to add too that the another reason I did not ask my mother to be tested is that I am living alone and I am going to need my mothers help when I am in hospital (to take care of my darling cats) and to help me when I can come home. I wish you all the best.

[Rerun]

Minea, I know this has been discussed before, but DO NOT clean your "darling cat's" Poop Box when you get your transplant.  It even says on the Cat Litter Box that people with Compromised Immune Systems should not clean cat boxes.  Cat's urine has some bacteria in it that can harm you.  Have someone else clean the cat box. 

Here it is:  http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=558.0

[Minea]

thanks Rerun, I got useful information from that discussion. I think my doctor is really flexible. She even told I could have new cat(s) right after transplant if I want to. But wisely ( ) I choose to have them before. I am getting my new babies next week  .

[Panda_9]

I found out yesterday my friend is a kidney match.    There are a couple more people being tested so the docs are not sure yet  who is the best match. 
There has been a lot of talk about people who are young giving transplant to someone.  Perhaps I am being selfish by letting my friends do it.  I guess they think I am selfish if I don't.  There was an article I read once and it said "The donor benefits more from the process to give life, than the donee who gets it"  I have always wished I could be a donor, even before reading that. 
Anyway... looking at transplant this summer or next.  Not sure if I am mentally ready to undergo a major surgery.  When deciding if I wanted a lung  transplant I was in the hospital talking to someone and it just clicked that I wanted to have one.  Although the option was life or death.... here I have dialysis.. which currently is working out OK.
Besides gaining knowledge about the surgery, how have you prepared?

You are not selfish at all whatever you decide. In the end it is your decision, and Im sure your friends wouldnt of offered if they didnt really really care about you. I personally found it a very easy decision to make. Of course I am very worried about my mum having surgery, but she wants to do it for me. I am going to go through with it because its really the only chance I will have at living a normal life.

[mmmmdeedee]

I am in kind of the same boat as you melissa jean. My brother is a perfect match but I just hate the thought of taking his kidney. But, I also know how sick I can get when going through dialysis and the longer I wait, the worse off I'll be in the long run.

Everyone is correct that the donor is just grateful that they can do something to improve your life. Would you do it for your friend? I know I would if I could. I think you did say that is something that you would do.

I also heard that the surgery for the donor now is not as bad. No more taking a rib out, etc. That makes me feel a lot better! My sister had to have a rib cut out to give me her kidney.