My brother - prostate cancer

[Deanne]

My brother was diagnosed with prostate cancer about 15 months ago. It was somewhat advanced and possibly spread into a lymph node. He's undergone radiation and hormone therapy. He hasn't been able to work since April. A couple of months ago, his PSA was 0.  However, his brain has turned to mush. He's an engineer who's lost his ability to think. He was always brilliant. For "entertainment" he read physics books. To try to re-start his brain, his doctor took him off hormones & cancer meds and put him on an anti-depressant. His PSA jumped up to 3 in one month after that. Still low, but his Dr is concerned about the quick jump.

My sister-in-law is permanently disabled. I don't know what specifically is wrong -- seems like she's had one medical issue after another over the years. My brother was the sole source of income and it sounds like the well is running dry. My SIL told me they have enough cash to pay their bills in January and then she sort of left the sentence hang. My brother told my Dad at Christmas that he's started to pull money out of his IRAs and 401K because it really doesn't matter anymore. He read his medical records and believes he's doomed. I don't know what he saw in the records, but I think it shattered him.

I'm just sad and hurt for him. I hope the anti-depressants help. Even if he can't return to engineering, he needs to do something to bring in some income, but most importantly to give himself back a sense of value and well-being.

[Rerun]

I'm very sorry Deanne.  He needs to look at disability income or maybe short-term workers comp??  I don't know but he needs to get come income and I'm sure he has paid into it all these years.  I hope the pills work.  They take a few weeks so be patient.

                                               

[monrein]

Deanne, how sad for your brother and his family as well as you and your parents too.  Poor guy.  I hope the meds help his mood a bit and things get a little better all around.   

[thegrammalady]

oh, deanne, my friend, i just don't know what to say.

[Sluff]

Well I certainly can relate to your family's misfortune, I hope the pills make him feel better and he might be able to perform a job that they can sustain there standard of living on.

[paris]

I am so sorry.  I don't even know what to say.  Sending you love and hugs 

[Deanne]

I don't think he's getting any kind of disability income, but I don't know for sure. I don't know how it all works and I don't know if I'm supposed to know this new information about him, so I can't ask him directly. I sent him a "Hey how's it going?" email message a couple of weeks ago, but he hasn't responded yet. I don't know if it's because he hasn't been online or if he doesn't want to answer. The information I have is from my parents and my sister-in-law. My brother hasn't told me any of this himself, so I'm not confortable asking him questions about it. My family has an odd communication structure, according to my friends. We all get along, but we don't communicate directly with each other very much. Your typical disfunctional family, I suppose.

My brother was working as a consultant for a German company, so he wasn't a regular employee. Therefore, I don't think he had any employee benefits to fall back on. I mentioned to my Dad that he might want to talk to a career counselor. I'll mention it again when I call for my weekend check-in with the parents.

Thanks for your support.