Mad at dialysis neighbor!

[Rerun]

What do you do when you are not speaking to your dialysis neighbor?

Joan is a 70 year old lady who grew up in the Virgin Islands.  Very nice most of the time but very moody.  I came in on Sunday night and she had been moved to a different part of the room.  I asked why and they said she had been cold so they wanted to try a different station.  When she came in I tried joking with her and she grumped and then I was hooked up and she was walking  by and I thought I'd ask her to take my tablet and put it in my backpack because I had forgotten.  I said "Hey Joan" and she turns and yells "Don't talk to me OK, just don't talk to me". I said "OK I was going to ask you a favor but forget it". 

So, I feel fine you don't want me to talk to you then I won't.  She came in last night and I ignored her.  I'm going to keep on ignoring her until she apologizes.  WTF you can't talk to people that way.

Now Katherine is sitting by me.  She is really a man but waiting for the sex change operation.  I'm in diversity hell.

   

[aharris2]

what the p*ck!!!! did i read that right? katherine is a man? sheesh what's the world coming to....

cheers,

Rolando

[Rerun]

Aharris she (he...whatever) has a prothesis leg and it sits right next to me because she takes it off.  I know you have one too but I don't and It is a little weird for me.  I accidentally almost knocked it over when I was trying to set up and I caught it.  A little weird for me.  God is trying to get me to be a little more tolerant. 


                                      I know I deserve this!             

[paul.karen]

 

like dialysis isnt enough of a problem heshe is having a sex change.

At least you dont have dull days Rerun.

Hi Aharris

[Sluff]

Rerun, have you ever asked, Why me?   

[peleroja]

At least you get to talk to people.  They always position me at the end of a row with 2 machines between me and the next person.  Besides, most of the people seem to be addicted to daytime television or they are sleeping. 

[Lucinda]

Don't know if this will help any Rerun but when my Dad was having dialysis, he had a woman next to him that was quite a bit younger and most of the time they got on really well but sometimes my Dad just resented the fact that she was younger than him and generally in much better health.  He use to snap her head off for no reason at all.  Maybe she has other health issues and she is taking it out on you because you seem to her to be in much better health.  Not rational but neither was my father to his dialysis neighbour.  As for your new neighbour that is just downright depressing.  I feel very sorry for people who are as confused about their place in the world but having to spend such a long period of time right next to them is not fair on you.  If I were you, I would start feeling very cold as well and see if you can be moved.  I'm sorry you have to go through that.  If you feel comfortable, PM me your cell number and the time of your session and I will give you a call during your next session to give you something to take your mind off your neighbour.  I'll work out the time difference. I can understand why you would find that pretty depressing. Sending you lots of love, Cindy. xx

[Rerun]

There are a lot of older dialysis patients that are kind of jealous of me because I do well and am able to drive and "walk".  For crying outloud I got this disease when I was 24!  They have had their entire lives and lived well!  I usually say "When you were 47 I'm sure you could walk up a flight of stairs too".  I mean crap!  Friends my age are working full-time and traveling all over the United States to meetings making 90K a year.  Now that is depressing!

I'm not depressed about Katherine, I just think it is kind of poetic justice for me because I'm a Conservative.   More funny than anything!

     

[kimcanada]

Don't know if this will help any Rerun but when my Dad was having dialysis, he had a woman next to him that was quite a bit younger and most of the time they got on really well but sometimes my Dad just resented the fact that she was younger than him and generally in much better health.  He use to snap her head off for no reason at all.  Maybe she has other health issues and she is taking it out on you because you seem to her to be in much better health.  Not rational but neither was my father to his dialysis neighbour.  As for your new neighbour that is just downright depressing.  I feel very sorry for people who are as confused about their place in the world but having to spend such a long period of time right next to them is not fair on you.  If I were you, I would start feeling very cold as well and see if you can be moved.  I'm sorry you have to go through that.  If you feel comfortable, PM me your cell number and the time of your session and I will give you a call during your next session to give you something to take your mind off your neighbour.  I'll work out the time difference. I can understand why you would find that pretty depressing. Sending you lots of love, Cindy. xx

This site is amazing,as soon as I have a problem I read and find the answer...

I HATE my dialysis neighbor, her name is Katherine...

She is 83 and never stops telling me how LUCKY I am, how her fistula is yucky because she is old and mine is wonderful... blah blah blah, I am down right rude to her now and every time I am I feel BAD

Lucinda I do think I have to look at it differently , It would have to beat feeling pissed off everyday when I look at her

Rerun I don't know what to say except that I feel your pain 

[kidney4traci]

rerun, I feel your pain too! Most people were nice, even most nurses, but the bad ones can make a bad event like dialysis worse.  Snoring, loud tv's, bad body odor, losing bodily functions... all reasons I jumped at doing home dialysis.  I too started younger, so do think the older ones are pretty grumpy.  I like your analogy, at 40 others are living life, we dialysiize to live life.  Home dialysis with Nxstage is pretty easy and convenient, I don't recall why or if you have looked into that option...

[monrein]

I hope one day to be an old, old woman.  I'm already too old to "die young".   If I'm on dialysis, I pray that other patients will be kind to me even if they secretly tire of whatever about my old decrepit self irritates or annoys them.  I have no doubt that I won't be all sweetness and light.  This is always in my head when I enter my unit and I try to be particularly kind to those whose worlds have shrunk to unbearably tiny spaces full of pain and not much joy.  I pass by and say hello to as many as I can (we have just 11 chairs) and sometimes it makes me feel sad at how much this small gesture can mean to someone.  When I see them, I'm reminded of what I may become, just as some younger people remind me of where I was so many years ago.  Older folks then encouraged me and helped me to know that I might be OK.  I try to encourage the "babies" too.

When I was younger my wish was to be smarter, now that I'm older I wish merely to be kinder.  

Being on dialysis is bad enough without being old as well, or gender confused as well or dirt poor as well or whatever as well.  I personally enjoy having my tolerance "challenged".  That's why I like traveling as opposed to vacationing. I wish I could chat to your Katharine, Rerun, I'd like to ask her what it feels like to be in her shoes and gain some firsthand insight about her particular struggle.

Today, I talked to a new neighbour  until my cold made me start coughing.  Yuck.  We also had a party, with special coffee and different cakes and cookies to celebrate Christmas, compliments of our big boss of the unit.  

I'm sorry Rerun that dialysis is made harder for you by whatever it may be that adds to the inherent unpleasantness of the whole business.   

[kitkatz]

What is it with these Katherines on dialysis? Huh? 

[Rerun]

Kidney4Traci I don't have a partner for help and I don't want all the supplies at home as a reminder of dialysis.  I do the nocturnal and it is fine.  I just wanted to share this post because people who know me laugh (with me) at my situation.  I would just like an "normal" person sitting next to me but NO!      I have this guy who dresses like a woman waiting for a sex change and takes her leg off and puts it by my chair.  I mean, the bright side is.... I just can't believe it.  

Monrein if the subject comes up I'll get her number for you.  You can chat about her desires.  I personally don't want to go there.  So far we have talked about the new TV system we have at the center and I've over heard her talking about her sword collection and when she left today she said "Hey, its Whopper Wednesday".  OMG!

[monrein]

"You can chat about her desires".     Her (sexual) desires don't interest me a bit actually.     I'm more interested in knowing what it feels like to be trapped in the "wrong" body, to feel the expectation of "manliness" but want to wear lipstick and heels.  The mental part of the thing.  As a kid I hated wearing dresses or girly clothes because they made me feel weak.  I didn't want to be a boy but at boarding school I was really ticked that we had no science education, except biology, while the boys' school down the road had Chemistry and Physics.  I wanted what they had and I felt ripped off.  I complained loudly about it too and was never satisfied with the lame answers  I'm endlessly fascinated by what makes us tick, psychologically.  One of my cousins is gay (my Dad was too) and my cousin and I have had many very interesting discussions.  We all knew he was different from the time he was about 5, way before any sexual development so to speak.  I think that "God" in his or her wisdom made us humans, like all other species, in an incredible range of variations and one of my greatest pleasures is to  try and understand the varieties that are the most dissimilar to me wherever I find them. 

All my life I've met people who shy away from difference.  I'm incredibly drawn to it and fascinated by it. 

Whopper Wednesday BTW is just a super low priced deal at Burger King.  So get your mind out of the gutter girl.  LOL.   

[boxman55]

To funny about the leg, the first day i wore mine the tech wanted to know what it weighed so I took it off and she grabs it and goes walking down the aisle to the scale. I thought it was a little funny looking. All ways something hey Rerun...Boxman

[Stacy Without An E]

Due to my experiences with fellow Dialysis patients over the last four and a half years, I had to create the following:

The 1st Annual Stacy Dialysis Patient Awards

http://stacywithoutane.blogspot.com/2008/11/1st-annual-stacy-dialysis-patient.html

Nuff said.

[monrein]

That is an hilarious piece of writing Stacy.  This is my third reading of it and I crack up out loud every time.      

[RichardMEL]

What's that old saying about you can choose your friends but not your family? I think it should be extended to you can choose your friends but not your family - or hospital/dialysis unit neighbours!

In my unit we get moved around depending on what machine/chair is free/clean/setup and how they have organised it in the morning - I quite like that because variety is the spice of life. Sometimes they sit me next to new patients because I like to talk to them (if they feel up to it of course) and try and make them feel welcome and at ease, answer questions etc. Other times I am stuck between 3 old Greek men who love to yell at eachother in Greek to chat which can be a tad annoying at times... thank god for headphones!! Othertimes I'm next to inpatients who are sick/asleep/whatever.

As for patients being rude and resentful - we have to remember that everyone handles the enormous stress of facing kidney failure and dialysis differently. Some will resent others who are younger, or *appear* in better shape, or maybe even on the transplant list and potentially waiting a change to give them a more normal life. Others may just be feeling ill and not feel like chatting from one session to the next. Sometimes you can never pick it.

I know for example in my unit there's an older patient. Lovely guy always friendly to me and others (though lately has been getting more and more demanding and bossy - he won't sit in a particular sort of seat, he must have food when he demands it, blah blah) and I have been told he complains about me and how I'm treated - he somehow thinks I'm getting better treatment than him. The catch here is that he comes in WAY EARLY to the unit - like 1130 when he's on the afternoon shift that usually starts at 1230-1300 - indeed when I started they used to say come in at 1300. So he comes in way early - I think on the hope a machine will be ready early. Now that's all well and good (I work in the mornings so can't do that even if I wanted to) but he seems to resent when the unit is busy with patients and he has to wait (well hello! you come in earlier than you should...). So he gets upset when I walk in at say 1230 and get on pretty quickly. Well I'm there at the right time and haven't been waiting for an hour have I? but it's not the unit's fault he comes an hour too early is it? But you know because he complains so much the staff often do put him on in preference to others just to keep him happy. Whatever. Geez it's Dialysis.. I'm not rushing to do it! LOL. Now what do you do in a situation like that? I asked him once why did he not just ask to be moved to the morning shift - he could start at 0700 and be done at noon and he wouldn't have to wait AT ALL because it would all be ready for him! His answer "I feel much worse if I do it in the morning" or somesuch. Well I guess that's fair enough. So.. what can you do? People will be people.....

[kitkatz]

My Dialysis Neighbor Award goes to....


The Loud Lady on the Phone.
Do I really need to hear your conversations, especially yelling at your kid? 

[boxman55]

Due to my experiences with fellow Dialysis patients over the last four and a half years, I had to create the following:

The 1st Annual Stacy Dialysis Patient Awards

http://stacywithoutane.blogspot.com/2008/11/1st-annual-stacy-dialysis-patient.html

Nuff said.

great job Stacy...Boxman

[David13]

Hilarious, Stacy!

[Rerun]

Funny stuff Stacy!   

When she said "Whopper Wednesday" I was thinking.....  You just got off dialysis and you are thinking about the great deal at Burger King! 
     I wasn't thinking dirty.  I still don't get it even if it was dirty....?  oh well.  (btw they tried to pull 7.5 kilos off her)


I'm sure I get on people's nerves also.  I take so much crap with me to dialysis.  Blankets, pillows, rice bag, back pack full of odds and ends, egg shell pad with a sheet.  I'm sure people think I'm a big baby having to have all that stuff. 

[Zach]

Eat some sour pickles just before you leave for dialysis.
And then when you get there, let 'em rip!
 

[kellyt]

They might think you're homeless, Rerun!     

I'm possitive I would be "the one" everyone was annoyed with at dialysis.  I usually talk way too loud, way too fast and way too much about stuff I don't understand!   Yes, I would be "the one"...   

[pelagia]

Due to my experiences with fellow Dialysis patients over the last four and a half years, I had to create the following:

The 1st Annual Stacy Dialysis Patient Awards

http://stacywithoutane.blogspot.com/2008/11/1st-annual-stacy-dialysis-patient.html

Nuff said.

I would definitely invest in noise canceling headphones and an eye mask.  Now what to do about the farting....