mom passed away

[drinkboy]

I am a fairly new member and only found this site a few months ago.  It has been a great source of knowledge and all of you are inspirations to anyone that has, or is affected by, kidney disease. This will be my final little rant about my situation.

My mom, who started dialysis seven years ago, just passed away two days ago,  after three weeks (to the day) from when she went in the hospital.  As I have stated before, she never had an infection of any kind from home dialysis, but after what was a "routine" gall bladder operation, she got an a series of infections including Peritonitis. Of course there are many ways to get infections, but two things happened that will bother me until I die.  First, the hospital had all new equipment for doing PD dialysis and when my mom was to have her first exchange the day after the operation, nobody knew how to use the equipment..they had not had a dialysis patient yet since the transition to the new equipment.  So after a crash course that day, they did the first exchange, and they broke off a piece of the catheter extension tube. That allowed the catheter to be open after dialysis,  and then a nurse saw that a few hours later and finally fixed it.  Then three days later, they forgot to put a pin back in the catheter and also didn't cap it, so it was left open until they realized  the mistake four hours later!!  Again exposing her to possible infection. Finally, the hospital had Fresenius come to do a formal training to all the nurses.  They finally realized she had Peritonitis.  The following week, they finally decided to remove her PD catheter and go to Hemo to try and get the infection under control.  When they examined her PD catheter, they also found a yeast infection in that.  Finally, they put a temporary port in her neck for Hemo and then they wanted to remove that this past Friday and put in a new temporary in the other side of neck. That's when an artery ruptured during surgery and they couldn't save her. During this whole three week process, where she also had an NG tube in her for over 11 days to remove waste from her stomach/intestines (since her digestive system had shut down), she was in agony the whole time, even while on morphine.

Needless to say, I wish she never went in for the gall bladder operation because she would still be alive. Of course, it's easy to say that now, but she coulda waited to see if/when she had a gall bladder attack and then had surgery to remove it but since everyone seemed to think it was best to do as a preventative measure while she was "strong", she did it.  She was doing fine and an attack could come on in a month or a year or who knows. 

Sorry to go on and on, but I lost the dearest person in my life.  The last three weeks were agonizing for her due to the constant pain, and  for my family having to see her that way.  Thankfully my dad (who is 72 yrs old and been with my mom for 51 of those years) was with her  at least 12 hours a day, everyday and I got to see her virtually every minute I was not at work.  Throughout this three week ordeal, and her seven years, she never complained. 

I wish everyone well and stay optimistic...as for me, I plan on still coming to our great site, and hope to continue learning more from everyone.

[Sluff]

I know how hard it is to lose your Mom and I'm sorry to hear this. I will keep you and your family in prayer as you negotiate through this most difficult time. 

[okarol]

 

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom.
It makes me so angry to think she could have gotten better care.
Your love for her has been evident all along.
Sending you sincere condolences and hugs. 

[Mariposa]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom.

[xtrememoosetrax]

Drinkboy,
I'm so sorry to hear what happened to your mom -- it all sounds very hard. It's sad and infuriating to think that with better luck and fewer mistakes, your mom might still be with you today. I'm so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. 

[G-Ma]

 

[kellyt]

My deepest condolences to you and your family.   I'm sorry that she had to go through so much in her last three weeks.  The hospital should have demanded that Fresenius come in to perform her dialysis until everyone was properly trained!  I'm so, so sorry!  I, too, know how it feels to lose your Mother and Best Friend.

[monrein]

Your deep love for your Mom comes across so clearly in your posts and I'm so sorry for your loss.  My deepest condolences to you and your family.

[paris]

Drinkboy, I am in tears.  Your posts have been so full of love for your Mom.  Losing a parent is one of the worst pains you will experience.  I am so very sorry for you loss.  Your Mother raised a wonderful, caring and loving son.  Please visit us when you can.  We'll be surrounding you with comforting thoughts during the next few days.   

[karen547]

I am so sorry to hear about your mom! I wish you and your family all the best!

[Mimi]

My deepest sympathy to you  and your family.  Cherish your yesterdays, but don't give
up your dreams for tomorrows.  My prayers are with you.

Love, Mimi

[Joe Paul]

You have my deepest sympathy 

[Lucinda]

I really feel for you right now and your family.  I lost my Mum in a very similar way because of negligence by a hospital and the staff.  It is absolutely heartbreaking when you see someone go into hospital really well and they don't leave when it was supposed to be routine surgery.

Do keep coming to the site and let us know how you are going.  You seem a really gorgeous sensitive person and your mother must have been so proud to have such a committed - and extremely handsome - son.

A big hug for you at this terrible time and much love being sent your way.

Cindy. xxx

[Sunny]

Not fair at all.
I am so sorry for you and your family. Your mother should have had far better medical treatment. She was fortunate to have a wonderful son like you and I wish you well in your time of grieving.

[pelagia]

I am very sorry to hear that you lost your Mom and the circumstances.  She was blessed to have such a loving son.

It seems unforgivable to me that the hospital made so many errors.  For the sake of others could you go on record with this?

[willieandwinnie]

  drinkboy. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I am so sorry. 

[ODAT]

My sympathies to you and your family. I am here for my mom as well. She is still predialysis. It is so hard to see your mom in distress. I pray you find strength to get through the coming days.

[dkerr]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.  I am so sorry for your loss.

[drinkboy]

Thank you all for the kind words..as usual, everyone here astounds me with their kindness and spirit.

Pelagia...last week, prior to my mom's passing, my father met with a friend of his who is on the board of directors for the hospital my mom was at,  and he went over the situation with him, so this type of thing (particularly the lack of preparation and training the hospital provided their staff) does not happen again and cause issues for someone else in the future.  He assured us that it is being addressed. We also met with our two nephrologists and went over everything with them so they were aware.

Again, I wish everyone well and I will still be around from time to time, after things get back to "normal" for me.  Right now, I am spending the week with my dad so we can get through this, and fortunately, my sister is close by, and we are blessed with many friends who are so supportive...we are truly lucky in that regard.

[TynyWonder]

drinkboy,

Considering what you are going thru, you sound pretty "level headed".    Lord knows, I would be a basketcase!   I know I was when I lost my dear & best friend, my wonderful Mama in 2001 and it was also due to negligence as well but it was her heart.   Tears came to my eyes as I read your story because I too, know the pain of your loss.   I pray you continue to find peace in your surrounding friends & family!

[flip]

My heartfelt sympathy is with you, Drinkboy. We have had several members who passed away from what was considered minor surgery. I know it won't ease the pain but you and your father should consult an attorney. Heaven fobid this should happen again.

[boxman55]

I am so sorry for your lose. to see your Mother pass is one of the hardest things to deal with. My thoughts are with you...Boxman

[lola]

 

[David13]

You have my heartfelt sympathy.  Losing a parent is one of the most difficult things a person can go through.  Your positive efforts in attempting to prevent this type of event from happening to someone else are a wonderful tribute to your mother.  My thoughts are with you.   

[Romona]

Sorry for your loss.