Pip pip! Moving to England and have questions

[lainiepop]

Agree with Poppy, I was gonna the same thing!

[cariad]

Thanks for the thoughtful replies. I wish I could say that the theory that this is wholly innocent makes sense to me, but having spoken to Aidan further this morning, I just don't see it. Yes, I do believe it is a church youth group that Aidan discovered through his friend B who probably attends the church. Of Aidan's friends, 2 others identify as atheist, so I do doubt that the family attends this church. As I was discussing this originally with Aidan, I thought I was probably being faintly ridiculous worrying that an adult would interrogate Aidan about his religious beliefs, but it turns out that Aidan's friend S was already asked, to which he responded, after much hesitation "I'm an atheist.... but I've been baptized." (Props to him for being honest, this is not easy to do and every American atheist knows what I am talking about.) Later B hurt his finger playing basketball and the church leader who was there prayed over it, then asked B if it felt better, B answered no, so she prayed over it again, asked him again, he said no again.... Aidan doesn't remember what she said next, something about what to do if it didn't stop hurting after 24-hours. This is worrying! Perhaps "see a qualified medical professional" should have been her next suggestion?

I asked Aidan to tell me what a typical few hours there is like and he said it involves prayer. I asked what would happen if he just turned up a bit late and he countered that the prayer takes place at the end. So what if you leave early? His response was that he tried that and she told him it would only take a few minutes. I asked if they held hands and he THANKFULLY said no. I asked if he had to recite anything and he responded "Not if you don't count 'amen'" (which I do!!!) I explained that while amen literally means 'the end' it is more accurately translated as 'I agree with you' in the way that it is used both in religious environments and as a colloquialism.

Yes, he could find another club, but his friends wouldn't be there. I think other youth clubs charge a small fee, but the 'fee' to go here seems to be that you must listen to someone lecturing you about Christianity. I imagine most of the parents only have a vague idea of what is going on, but perhaps they wouldn't care if they do, and that's the cultural difference between us. Most likely they've never been atheist parents in America where you have to fight constantly to keep your kids from being taught complete nonsense in science and history classes.   What my cultural background and personal experience have taught me to find rude and aggressive they might see as harmless. I think at least one of Aidan's friends - the Sikh boy - is not allowed to go to the club.

Thanks for taking the time to read about my dilemma. I'll take a wait and see approach and hopefully won't ever feel the need to confront anyone there. I love that Aidan has these friends with such varied beliefs and backgrounds. He has a friend who is a hardcore creationist who asked him for proof that evolution existed. Aidan's response was "I don't want to argue about this with you." which I think showed a remarkable amount of maturity on his part. They are still friends and I admire that Aidan cares more about keeping the friendship than winning an argument.

[willowtreewren]

Dear Cariad,

I've never encountered "innocent" even mild religious indoctrination here in the US, so my experience is slanted. Having lived through numerous attempts on many fronts from many groups to "encourage" my daughter to find Jesus, I cast a wary eye on any and all adult led church oriented activities.

The culture is most likely very different where you are, but it doesn't hurt to be careful.

 

Aleta

[cassandra]

I agree with willowtreewren that the culture on this site is in the main less indoctrinating. Everywhere is different. I'm from Holland, went to a christian youthclub etc, just nice games, and friends. However nobody ever prayed over a hurting finger either. And I nearly fell of my chair when my Canadian 11 year old niece said she wanted to become a missionary to bring the word of God to the poor people in Africa!

If it would be that extreme at that club the answer from Aidan's friend would have been enough to get him excluded already. I would keep an eye out, but I don't expect this situation to last long either, as Aidan sounds like quite a clever little boy.

Love. Cas

[cariad]

Thanks Aleta and Cas! It's nice to get some validation that I am not overreacting. So many people seem to miss the fact that these things matter to humanists as much as they matter to anyone else. I cannot think of a parent who has ever said anything to the effect of "Well, I hold these sets of beliefs and/or values, but someone else stepped up and indoctrinated my child into their own ideology and I'm completely cool with that!"

School is almost out and then most of Aidan's friends will scatter for six weeks anyhow, and then returning to school in autumn is kind of like pressing a big ol' reset button as the kids learn their new routine, catch up with old friends and make new ones. I know that Aidan and B will remain friends - they are both outsiders in a new country and they've known each other from jump street - but I imagine the youth club will be an infrequent setting for Aidan. Fingers crossed anyhow.

[cariad]

Bugger.

I'm pretty sure my little guy has Fifth's Disease. I'm pretty sure that I've caught it from him.

He has a raised, sandpaper rash across his face but nowhere else. It doesn't itch or really bother him, it's just a bit uncomfortable. He's been putting lotion on it and says that stings a bit. It looks exactly like my allergic reaction/possible scarlet fever rash, except thankfully he has no fever or any other sign of illness. I would suspect contact dermatitis but everything that he's put on his face he's also put elsewhere on his body (sunblock, not-terribly-clean river water) so it doesn't make sense that it would only be on his face. I don't have a rash but am fatigued and have the symptoms of a cold, and I've resigned myself to the fact that I contract everything.

We are all so worn out. Four more days of school. What's the point, they're not really doing anything this week in class because all the kids are so knackered, so why have them in school at all?

We just spent an hour at dinner discussing literature and what books Aidan will read over summer. He asked me for suggestions, but I asked him to mention any book titles he's heard that he's curious about. It was a sobering lesson that Aidan does not know a work of great literature from what we call 'fun reading' here (not that the two are mutually exclusive, I guess 'light reading' would be a better term). So Aidan was suggesting works he could read and he would say "What about the Hunger Games" (No) "The Lord of the Rings, does that count?" (Yes) "The one they just made a movie about, The Fault in Our Stars?" (Gah!) "Something by Charles Dickens" (Dare I even hope....)

I want him to be realistic and pick two books he might actually finish over the next 6 weeks. He's settled on Great Expectations (yay!!!!) and The Hobbit (yuck, but he could do so much worse than becoming a Tolkein fan.)

Off work tomorrow. I'm going to the leaving assembly for year 3 at Dyl's school. Apparently the headmistress will say a few words about each child in the year and I don't want to miss it. I feel I've missed too much of their lives already because of my stupid illnesses.

[cassandra]

Enjoy your day free tomorrow, and Dyl's headmistress's speech, and the sunny day

     


Love, Cas

[cariad]

Thanks, Cas! Dyl won an award for his projects - all those arty/crafty assignments that we've helped him with through the year. The way they did the ceremony was wonderful, with all the kids who won an award for a specific category called to the front, the headmistress read out why they were being recognised for this particular activity, and then the teacher would talk so enthusiastically about what was special about this child. They truly hit the mark with Dyl, the teacher said that she loved his projects because she would always learn something new from Dylan. The headmistress said it was a bit of role reversal, and that is so very Dyl. Every adult who comes into contact with him seems to have the story about how they had to concede that he was right and they were wrong about some bit of knowledge.

My coworker was teasing me about how it was just like the Simpson's 'everyone gets a trophy day', and I did find that bit funny, and it is true of many activities here, but this was so not what this ceremony was about. It was an excellent way for the school to demonstrate that they find talent in every child and see them entirely as individuals. I loved it!

Summer holidays have officially begun. I feel much more relaxed and it's nice to suddenly have a chance to work on this house and actually sort through everything from America. The boys already have a fairly full agenda for the summer, with a week of circus, a few kayaking courses that they want to take, a surprise visit from Aidan's best friend from America (over his birthday no less!!!) a trip to London to see Stomp with the American friend and then join a small group of kids that get to go up on stage to learn a few of the routines from the cast, a week in Wales staying at one of my brother-in-law's flats, and possibly a trip to Spain or Portugal over the final week if Gwyn is successful in finding a good excuse for his job to send him there. May throw a week of tennis or horseback riding in there if we can find the funds - we usually can when it comes to the kids and their activities!

[willowtreewren]

I so love reading about how life is treating you! This move has been a boon for you! 

I bet the boys are growing like weeds, especially since you and they are thriving.

 

Aleta

[cariad]

I so love reading about how life is treating you! This move has been a boon for you! 

I bet the boys are growing like weeds, especially since you and they are thriving.

 

Aleta

Ha, funny enough, a football coach asked me today 'what do you feed them?' Elliot especially is gianormous for his age. Thanks for your ongoing support. Are you officially retired now? You mentioned selling the school, and I think I remember 2014 being mentioned from way back as being the big year, or am I misunderstanding something?

I love how sophisticated Aidan and his friends are. They released a yearbook for year 7 at Aidan's school, and the kids went around having their friends sign it, similar to how it's done in America. There is a fringey political party here called UKIP that spews hypocritical hatred for immigrants everywhere. (Hypocritical in part because one of the party's leaders is married to a Belgian, and he employs her as his personal secretary whilst ranting that immigrants take all the jobs. True story.) So, many of the messages Aidan's friends wrote to him were UKIP satire, he being their resident immigrant. My favorite note had to be H's "I don't hate fora... fouri, GO BACK TO THE MIDDLE EAST!!!" Aidan explained: "He couldn't figure out how to spell 'foreigners'. I told him I'm not from the Middle East and he said 'you are now!'" At 11 and 12 they are already young experts at pointing up the ridiculousness of it all.

[willowtreewren]

I love it!

No, I'm only semi-retired until May of 2015. I'll work part-time this year to help the new owner figure out everything he needs to do.

 

We just returned from a camping trip (it is lovely in the middle of the week when everyone else is at work). Just think, this time next year I'll be FREE!

Aleta

[cariad]

I love it!

No, I'm only semi-retired until May of 2015. I'll work part-time this year to help the new owner figure out everything he needs to do.

 

We just returned from a camping trip (it is lovely in the middle of the week when everyone else is at work). Just think, this time next year I'll be FREE!

Aleta

Wow, May seems far away now, but at the same time, it's closer than we think. I assume the new owner is also Montessori trained? Sounds like the perfect way to ease into retirement, guiding someone else through their first year at the helm.

Aidan attended a sleepover yesterday. After he'd gone we got a packet through the post for him - it was a program from the Michael Morpugo play that he starred in, and there was an inscription on it that said "Hey, Aidan, guess who I ran into today?" and then it went on to urge him to keep drama in his heart, and was signed 'Detective Inspector May' which meant nothing to us, but the writing style was obviously his former drama teacher, the one who is off to a new school in September. There was a scrawl of writing next to the one paragraph. I handed it to Aidan and asked if he could make sense of it, and he said it was his drama teacher and that Detective Inspector May was an in-joke from rehearsals.

"Yes, but who did she run into?"

"Oh, Michael Morpugo. See?" and he pointed out that the unintelligible scrawl was his signature.

Such an amazing souvenir from an incredible teacher. I think I'm more delighted than Aidan (but only just). I keep warning him that 2015 is going to be quite the let-down as it seems that this has been Aidan's year in every conceivable way.

[cariad]

We finally have a chance to just hang out as a family and today we sent our Ankarsrum on its maiden voyage making blueberry scones. Like most Americans, I was raised on the KitchenAid mixer - everyone had one in their home, and I always saw it as a kitchen basic, like a good set of knives. We sold ours when we moved because I didn't want to deal with moving it and having to use an adapter, and they had improved them so much in the 10+ years we had owned ours that I was looking forward to buying a new one.

They are freakishly expensive here, though. A great model in America might set a person back $300, while here the same model costs over £400, more than double the price. My employer uses a Thermomix, and those are around £900, and I was going to book a demo for when my mother was here (they cook you a 5-course dinner for free) but the timing did not work out so we blanked it. Meanwhile, Costco started selling the Ankarsrum at a phenomenal price, and it used stainless steel where the Thermomix uses plastic. Ankarsrum has a 5-year warranty to Thermomix's two-year guarantee, plus Costco backs everything they sell pretty much forever, so I know we could use this for a couple of months, decide it's not for us and return it no questions asked.

It is such a joy to have a mixer again! The design of the Ankarsrum is so clever, and one feature it has that KitchenAid does not is a timer. It will shut itself off if you want it to- as far as I know even the newest models of KitchenAid do not have that capacity. Our Ankarsrum also came with an extra plastic bowl for making batters, a variety of attachments, a cover for the bowl to keep dust out when it's not in use, and a blender jug that cleverly attaches to the side of the machine. It comes in a rainbow of colours, but I went for classic black as I usually do. So far, the kids are utterly fascinated with it and I was able to trick them into making the scones for me! May the novelty never wear off.

I do have a KitchenAid kettle that is simply gorgeous, quiet, adjustable, and makes a soft, lovely ding when it has come to your desired temperature. In Welsh, the word for microwave is 'popty ping' or essentially 'the oven that pings' (so adorable). I've started calling our KitchenAid 'tegell ping' or 'kettle that pings' because it suits it.

[willowtreewren]

Ooooh. Your mixer sounds like "da bomb." I have always wanted a KitchenAid. Once I'm fully retired and have more time for cooking, Ill finally get one.

The new owner IS Montessori trained (I trained him), and is a really good fit. I think this year will fly by!

We are already planning our travel agenda for the following year. In July a trip to Del in Newfoundland. Then in September a river cruise in Europe. After the holidays we are thinking of going to New Zealand to visit Hanify's family. Molly is graduation high school. It is hard to believe that Hanify (Bern) has been gone for over two years. 

Anyway, don't rule out a trip to England in the near future!

Aleta

[cariad]

Anyway, don't rule out a trip to England in the near future!

That would make my year! We'd love to get together with you, either in our little shire or we can take on the big city together. That's so lovely that you keep in touch with Molly still, she certainly always struck me as wise beyond her years and I think we'll see big things from her in future.

It's been busy, and now that school is back full force we have all we can manage just trying to get to every appointment/activity in a day. This week has been especially challenging, and so very sad. Aidan came into my workplace sobbing, unable to catch his breath. His much-loved music teacher passed away suddenly and no one knows why at this point. Gwyn and I only met him the once, but found him such a charming individual, I remember clearly what he said about Aidan at parent's evening and how much he thought of him as a student and a person. I mentioned the encounter here:

We crashed the music teacher's room since we could not pre-book an appointment with him, and he said Aidan is so charming that on the one hand he doesn't want to suppress his humour, but on the other hand, it can get disruptive.

My heart sank when I asked Aidan if he seemed at all ill at school last week and he said "It was just a regular class, he talked about what we were going to do next time."

Football in an hour. Dyl played yesterday, and their team had their first win. Then we went with a group of parents to the local pub - this team has been so great for Dyl, it almost makes the nightmare he went through last year with a certain vile football club worth it.

[cariad]

Thinking of Scotland today. As a member of a family of hardcore Celts myself, we'll stand with that country whatever they decide.